Poll: Choose the worst major-release movie of all time
posted at 9:15 pm on February 22, 2009 by Ed Morrissey
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I felt like starting a new thread, since the earlier post has almost 800 comments now. The poll for the HA! Award is now open. Choose your pick for the worst major-release movie of all time, as nominated by myself and your fellow Hot Air readers:
We got some fine nominations from the comments. I’d have included more, but the poll would have been almost unmanageable. I exercised my veto power on a couple of movies, including Joe Versus the Volcano, which is one of my favorites. The First Mate might agree with some of its naysayers, however.
Voting will remain open until tomorrow’s Ed Morrissey Show, when I will announce the top three votegetters on the air with Kevin McCullough. Be sure to tune in!
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INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
Ghoul aid on February 22, 2009 at 9:18 PM
I had to choose Xanadu. Just had to.
SouthernGent on February 22, 2009 at 9:18 PM
oops, independence day is not on the list. SHOWGIRLS IS SO DAMN GUTTERIFIC, IT’S DOWNRIGHT FANTASTIC!!!!
Ghoul aid on February 22, 2009 at 9:19 PM
Re: front photo
Is that a cantaloupe in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
baldilocks on February 22, 2009 at 9:20 PM
No fair, Ed. The picture with the post is the equivalent of campaign posters near the polling booth. I am biased to vote for Battlefield Earth now.
warrenmr on February 22, 2009 at 9:20 PM
The Batnipple suit in Batman and Robin is what sold me. Plus, I remember an interview with Clooney right after the movie came out, and he said he hoped that he didn’t kill the franchise.
Darn near did, old boy.
Badger in KC on February 22, 2009 at 9:21 PM
Star Wars prequels. Of the ones on the list, they had the least excuse for being dreadful.
Y-not on February 22, 2009 at 9:21 PM
Batman and Robin
whoa
that was bad
real bad
joey24007 on February 22, 2009 at 9:21 PM
What…..no “The Day After Tomorrow”?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:22 PM
All of them suck!
xplodeit on February 22, 2009 at 9:23 PM
I would have voted for “Reds,” if it was on the list.
Star20 on February 22, 2009 at 9:23 PM
Waterworld….
You can’t leak into a Mr. Coffee and get out Taster’s Choice.
Ugh.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:23 PM
I can’t even think of that movie anymore without remembering the “weather map” scene in South Park.
Skywise on February 22, 2009 at 9:23 PM
NO! It’s one of my favorites. It represents what we SHOULD be doing against the Mohammedans!
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:24 PM
I haven’t seen enough of these to vote with any intelligence a’tall.
So I’ll be an Obama voter and just go ahead and pick one that looks hopey and changey…I won’t know what I’m getting any more than the average BO voter knew.
Bob's Kid on February 22, 2009 at 9:24 PM
Anything Michael Moore’s belched out.
Add to that “An Inconvenient Truth”, too. Totally unbelievable.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:24 PM
Leonard Part 6. I was the fool that paid full price the only day it was in the theater. I’d have walked out part way, but mercifully it was only about an hour long.
Laura in Maryland on February 22, 2009 at 9:24 PM
Here’s one my wife made me sit through….
Smilla’s Sense of Snow
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:26 PM
Balls of Fury was completely unwatchable. Which is a shame, I used to be a ping pong champ.
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:26 PM
No, we’re talking about movies, you silly goose.
Laura in Maryland on February 22, 2009 at 9:26 PM
Yet there are so many that could still be added.
cobrakai99 on February 22, 2009 at 9:26 PM
Your list is incomplete. Where’s 9 1/2 weeks? I walked out on that one.
PurpleHaze on February 22, 2009 at 9:27 PM
Had to go with Billy Jack — mostly because they just KEPT making them.
My collie says:
CyberCipher on February 22, 2009 at 9:28 PM
Care to restate your response?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:28 PM
Judge Dread didn’t make the list, or Tango and Cash?
Over30 on February 22, 2009 at 9:29 PM
What…..no “Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot!”?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:30 PM
Battlefield Earth.
Runners up IMHO (not on the list):
Breaker Breaker (C. Norris)
Troll 1 and 2
Exit Wounds
Cradle 2 tha Grave
Romeo Must Die
The Base 2: Guilty as Charged
The Fifth Element
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:30 PM
Yes but does a two hour propaganda poster count as a movie.
cobrakai99 on February 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM
Big Orange has a good one on the Santelli thread.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM
OH
And “Death Toll” featuring DMX and Lou Diamond Phillips
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM
It does if it is pure fiction.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM
SouthernGent,
You CAN’T be serious!!! (I borrowed that) Ms. Newton-John make a bad movie? NEVER
Gohawgs on February 22, 2009 at 9:32 PM
smokey and the bandit three
“smokey is the bandit”
pretty bad
joey24007 on February 22, 2009 at 9:32 PM
What is it with you people? The Fifth Element was a good movie! And so was Independence Day!
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:33 PM
Garden State is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Symbolizes all the insipid, whiny little brats of my generation. It’s not funny, horrendously written, and poorly acted (although they didn’t have much material to work with).
Soundtrack is OK, but really everyone should own all the Shins albums anyway.
Proud Rino on February 22, 2009 at 9:33 PM
LOL dude!!!
Those MONSTERS!
SOOO BAD! They looked ridiculous!
I liked the alien opera singer though..
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:33 PM
Vomit doesn’t count (please note from your definition “projected” not projectile), and I was picking on Moore and Gore, not you (you silly goose);)
Laura in Maryland on February 22, 2009 at 9:34 PM
I had to go with Batman and Robin. I dated a Batman fan (and that’s a serious understatement) in high school long enough to realize how bad it was and how horrible Shumacher (sp?) is in general.
Some of the others have the excuse that the story just wasn’t there, but no Batman movie has that claim.
Esthier on February 22, 2009 at 9:34 PM
What, no cartoons on the list? What about The Jetsons?
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:34 PM
I object to Showgirls being on the list because it was worth seeing if only for the best lapdance ever given.
The most hideous movies of all time are not even on the list, so I will list them here:
The Cook the Thief His Wife & Her Lover (1989)
Barton Fink (1991)
These are the only movies I have ever attended where most of the audience in the theater walked out in the first hour. Both were so awful that it was like watching a train wreck. My former girlfriend picked both of them because they were playing at the local art house. The only good thing that came of this was that my girlfriend never got to pick the movies again.
Tantor on February 22, 2009 at 9:35 PM
fify
Y-not on February 22, 2009 at 9:35 PM
I distinctly remember seeing Xanadu at the theater when it was released. I wore my purple Donny Osmond socks. I still love the movie, just because of the memories it triggers.
My vote goes to Boxing Helena. A sick flick with no redeeming value.
kooly on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
Eyes Wide Shut and Ishtar have no business being on that list. Neither are classics, but they’re both at least OK – Eyes Wide Shut is actually a pretty good film – very interesting interpretation of Dream Story (which is absolutely worth reading if you get the chance, friends).
Proud Rino on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
How can you choose? The only way I could think of is imagine if you threw the DVDs into a putrid cesspool, and think which one the pool would throw out as being not fit for consumption.
That left two Battle Field Earth and Xanadu. Since when Battle Field Earth was played on Cable and my TV went apoplectic and uncontrollable (it wasn’t a pretty sight). I chose BFE (which can also stand for that other acronym as well).
rpercifield on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
Probably wouldn’t be right for me to vote. I haven’t been to the movies in over 35 years.
I stopped going when I figured out that propaganda should be free.
However, everyone should feel free to pay them to tell you what to think.
Rick9911 on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
OK, what about Barry Lyndon? I promised my kids I wouldn’t touch Prince of Space.
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
I really liked Moulin Rouge. Does that make me a bad person?
sdm
stvdog on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
Men in Black 2
Gremlins 2: The New Batch
Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Look Who’s Talking Too
Grease 2
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Caddyshack 2
Blues Brothers 2000
Notice a pattern?
Oh, don’t forget……..The Adventures of Pluto Nash
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:37 PM
i’m sorry, but when will smith shoots down an alien spaceship, opens the hatch, then punches the alien in the face, knocing the alien out…..rolling of ones eyes doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Ghoul aid on February 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM
Anything with Phillips is a waste of time.
Jamson64 on February 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM
I thought Moulin Rouge sucked, but it’s certainly not on the level of Garden State.
Also for your consideration: The Big Blue. Or, as I call it, “The Big Blew.” Hiyo!
Proud Rino on February 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM
Good call, Esty.
B and R was f*ing AWFUL.
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM
#1 – Pearl Harbor was NOT a bad movie. The invasion scene was incredible. Did it have a cheesy love story? Yes. But it was overall entertaining.
#2 – The worst movie ever made is the Blair Witch Project.
#3 – Ive only walked out of ONE movie in my life and it was Sideways.
UKFB2 on February 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM
Yes. Yes it does.
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:39 PM
Pluto Nash 2 was the dog.
Jamson64 on February 22, 2009 at 9:40 PM
There’s a U shaped arc where movies that are so bad actually move so far down the curve that they actually become better in their badness. Commando is simultaneously the worst, yet one of the best macho action flicks ever made.
Howard the Duck, however, defines the absolute bottom of the curve. So despicably bad, yet not even good enough at being bad, not even being a good example of a bad movie.
MarkT on February 22, 2009 at 9:41 PM
Why wasn’t the Planet of the Apes remake on the list? It didn’t even make any sense? Or the remake of The Time Machine? The guy travels in time 10,000 years and meets his arch enemy? It took guts to write that stupid script.
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:41 PM
I’m with Ed. I liked Joe versus the Volcano. The build up to the arrival on the island was great. And then there’s Abe Vigoda…
Moulin Rouge was one of the very few movies I actually turned off. That, Babel and Santa Clause Conquers the Martians (pre MST3K).
Nethicus on February 22, 2009 at 9:42 PM
My favorite question– where did they get the horses?
Nethicus on February 22, 2009 at 9:42 PM
I don’t know much about a lot of these movies, would someone from Acorn pay me to vote for the one they think is the worst?
behiker on February 22, 2009 at 9:43 PM
Anything with Abe Vigoda has to be a quality film.
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:43 PM
That’s your only question? Mine was “how can I get my money back?”
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:44 PM
Gotta agree w/ you re: The Fifth Element. Didn’t like it the first time, kinda like my first beer. You have to see it again to appreciate its genius.
Over30 on February 22, 2009 at 9:46 PM
9 1/2 weeks, Chained Heat, Showgirls, or any other movie with good looking women gone bad can never be on any worst of list. To be on a “worst ever” list, means it has no redeeming value whatsoever, and those have at least one. They may be hard to watch, but watch we do.
OneEyedJack on February 22, 2009 at 9:48 PM
POOTIE TANG was a funny but awful movie
“take dis belt pootie tang”
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Couldn’t vote for Independence Day because:
1. Bill Pullman’s speech just before launching into the blue has great meaning for today. Today is OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY from generation-stealing debt.
2. It is a re-make of an old Harryhausen ‘B’ movie: Earth vs. The Flying Saucers starring the awesome Hugh Marlowe.
SeniorD on February 22, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Can’t, they all suck.
TheSitRep on February 22, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Why does The Distinguished Gentleman come mind these days?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 9:52 PM
I loved Independence Day when I was a kid. Today, I can see all the corny and horrible BS lines and scenes in the movie, but it portrays America positively. I like that.
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Nomi Malone: Don’t they have brown rice and vegetables?
Cristal Connors: Do you like brown rice and vegetables?
Nomi Malone: Yeah.
Cristal Connors: You do?
Nomi Malone: Sort of.
Cristal Connors: Really?
Nomi Malone: It’s worse than dog food.
Nomi Malone: It is!
Cristal Connors: I’ve had dog food.
Nomi Malone: You have?
Cristal Connors: Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow. I used to love Doggy Chow.
Nomi Malone: I used to love Doggy Chow, too!
[Cristal and Nomi touch their chips together]
CLASSIC SCENE FROM SHOWGILRLS.
Ghoul aid on February 22, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Oh for crying out loud, Ed, Joe Versus the Volcano is horrible with the exception of the opening scene with his incompetent boss, “I know he can get the job, but can he do the job?” lifts this one out of the garbage heap. It’s still a stinker.
simkeith on February 22, 2009 at 9:53 PM
So many choices! :o
Mutnodjmet on February 22, 2009 at 9:54 PM
The League of Extraordinary Genetlemen was pretty bad
blatantblue on February 22, 2009 at 9:54 PM
George Clooney ruined Batman before it was rescued by Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan.
jencab on February 22, 2009 at 9:55 PM
No kidding…. ouch!
katy on February 22, 2009 at 9:57 PM
What? No “Autumn in New York?”
NoamSayin on February 22, 2009 at 9:59 PM
Star Wars prequels
It takes a special brand of suckitude to ruin my favorite scifi movie(s) of all time.
SimplyKimberly on February 22, 2009 at 9:59 PM
Worse movie of all time John Wayne’s The Green Berets.
Not only a terrible, terrible movie but it almost brought one of the finest military units in the world to a devastating end.
Jdripper on February 22, 2009 at 9:59 PM
Just off the top of my head: Wild Hogs, Cloverfield, Indiana Jones 4
That poll doesn’t even scratch the surface of bad movies.
Conservative Panda on February 22, 2009 at 10:01 PM
You have to give it to Batman and Robin. That movie was Frankenstein’s monster. A collection of dead tissue from other films that never quite gave the whole creature a soul. Battlefield Earth has some shlock value to it. Showgirls has gratuitous nudity. Batman and Robin had nipples on the batsuit.
Oy.
R.J. MacReady on February 22, 2009 at 10:03 PM
The Constant Gardener!!
towershooter on February 22, 2009 at 10:04 PM
The list could be 10 times as long and still contain nothing but complete dogs. My suggestion for an ommission – Flash Gordon.
sbrowning on February 22, 2009 at 10:06 PM
UH!!!
12 people hate Xanadu?!?
I have the DVD,..and the soundtrack!!.lol
My kids love it and swear it’s Oscar worthy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m1UWSD-FaA
christene on February 22, 2009 at 10:07 PM
Lots of stinkers on the list, but I had to vote for Pearl Harbor because of my hobby, which is naval history. The technical and historical inaccuracies in that movie would, well, sink a battleship.
Rusty Bill on February 22, 2009 at 10:08 PM
I really liked Moulin Rouge. Does that make me a bad person?
sdm
stvdog on February 22, 2009 at 9:36 PM
Yes. Yes it does.
stonemeister on February 22, 2009 at 9:39 PM
I was afraid of that… oh well.
sdm
stvdog on February 22, 2009 at 10:08 PM
At least nobody questioned your sexuality…..(wink, wink)….
/sarc
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 22, 2009 at 10:10 PM
I kind of liked it, actually. Good, non-provoking entertainment after a hard day at work. Decent music, some nice visuals. Yes, I have the DVD and soundtrack…
Rusty Bill on February 22, 2009 at 10:10 PM
What the hell is Natural Born Killers doing on this list? I love that movie.
Sign of the Dollar on February 22, 2009 at 10:11 PM
I cant vote cus you dont have the worst on your list.
Worst movies ever?
1. Armageddon
2. Independence Day
American Elephant on February 22, 2009 at 10:16 PM
Of course, Michael Mooreon’s films top my list as the worst, too.
I’d add any movie with Will Ferrell in it though I’ve only seen (suffered through) the previews.
“Scanners” probably should be on the list except for one special effect.
Eyes Wide Shut was truly dreadful. The whole damn movie soundtrack is a high key twice on the piano followed by low key twice on the piano thus repeated. Hideous acting by Tom Cruise. Nicole Kidman parading around in her birthday suit still wasn’t enough to keep me from occasionally slamming my skull against the theater seat in front of me. A film of people filling in tax forms would have been less tiresome. That or one of Warhol’s dreadful films.
viking01 on February 22, 2009 at 10:21 PM
I have a feeling in this crowd we might stand alone,..I know we have at least “12″ Xanadu haters!!
I demand a recount!
christene on February 22, 2009 at 10:21 PM
The only one I’ve seen is Alexander and that was on a DVD I borrowed from my sister. It was so bad, I gave it to the library and then gave 15 bucks to my sister and told her to get something good for me to borrow.
Dusty on February 22, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Well, technically he didn’t shoot it down. It crashed trying to shoot him down. The rest though……just kind of stinky….
Vntnrse on February 22, 2009 at 10:25 PM
GI Jane…the worst movie evahhhhh…..
RedSoxNation on February 22, 2009 at 10:27 PM
Fahrenheit 911
hadsil on February 22, 2009 at 10:29 PM
It’s a Wonderful Life gets my vote. The only decent performance was from the guy who played the angel. He was a mountain of excellence in a valley of crap.
Percy_Peabody on February 22, 2009 at 10:32 PM
Add to my list:
Change of Seasons: Truly hideous. Anthony Hopkins should have burned the script. Shirley Maclaine’s acting is pure torture. Bo Derek is added for eye candy and bounce for a total of about 5 watchable minutes.
To quote Leonard Pinth-Garnell: Truly bad. Almost unbearably putrid.
Demi Moore has hatched her share of turkey films too.
viking01 on February 22, 2009 at 10:33 PM
NO you didn’t!!
christene on February 22, 2009 at 10:38 PM
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