Video: The obligatory “7-year-old stoned out of his mind” clip

posted at 3:30 pm on February 4, 2009 by Allahpundit

Comedy gold to cleanse the palate, courtesy of a trip to the dentist and a liberal dose of nitrous. At 1.5 million views in just five days, his guest appearance on “Fox & Friends” is all but assured.

Alternate title: “Michael Phelps, the early years.”

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Daddy is a little creepy isn’t he?..He just can’t help but asking the question all stoners ask each other..

“Do you feel good?”…”does it feel good right now?”

Funny the same way “Hey…let’s get the dog stoned” is funny…

AUINSC on February 4, 2009 at 9:28 PM

Too funny! My five year old has to have two extra teeth removed this month. This made me feel so much less nervous. I hope that she wakes up goofy like this kid, and not crying. At least then I won’t feel so guilty about my genes causing her misery. To the uptight people; Don’t hate on the dad. He’s making light out of what was no doubt a stressful event. When I was 14, my mom got pictures of me on the way to the ER, while I was covered in hives due to an allergic reaction. Her making the best of things and seeing the humor in the situation (I looked like Frankenstein) helped alleviate a lot of my fear…and hers.

Christine018 on February 4, 2009 at 9:48 PM

Thanks for the laugh, AP.

MIchael Phelps, the early years?! That’s just hilarious.

iamse7en on February 4, 2009 at 10:00 PM

Heh. I used to huff NOS when I worked at Cinnabon (it is supposed to be used to make whipped cream) – that was the only way to make it though a shift with all the fat people bearing down on you and the gawd aweful Christmas muzak… ahhhh… Is this for real dad?!?!?

bitsy on February 4, 2009 at 11:23 PM

Geez AP, thanks for the flashback.

bitsy on February 4, 2009 at 11:24 PM

I want to make clear I don’t condone the use of recreational drugs, but the things this kid said were almost verbatim what my best friend in high school said to me the first time he took acid: “Is this real life? Why is this happening to me? Is it going to be like this forever?”

Sean68 on February 5, 2009 at 12:24 AM

I remember when I had my wisdom teeth out. The doctor gave me a little green pill and told me to take it just before I came in for the appointment. My mom drove me down there and it would be safe to say I really wasn’t looking forward to it. Everybody just had to tell me their personal stories of how bad it had been for them. My mom was talking to me in the waiting room and trying to keep my mind off of things. That little green pill kicked in just as she asked me if I’d seen my best friend that weekend. I looked at her and started laughing uncontrollably. I still wonder what was in that little green pill.

trigon on February 5, 2009 at 4:35 AM

I have to weigh in with the minority opinion. I found this very distasteful and not at all funny.

califcon on February 4, 2009 at 5:45 PM

OK, truth be told: me, too. We’ll see how funny it is when the kid turns to illicit drugs to escape years of teasing.

That being said, however:

Countdown to the Primal Scream Dental Kid / “I Like Turtles” Boy Megamix begins in 3…2…

Captain Scarlet on February 5, 2009 at 6:59 AM

Little Dave is going to sue his father when he’s old enough.

Phoenician on February 5, 2009 at 7:50 AM

RRRRRRAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!

bluelightbrigade on February 5, 2009 at 8:47 AM

I think I’d mortgage my house to feel like that again….

adamsmith on February 5, 2009 at 8:53 AM

Too creepy. I vote with the folks who think this Dad is an a**hole for posting this.

JeffersonFan on February 5, 2009 at 9:08 AM

If the kid said “Dude, got any munchies” The dad would have said, “I love ya man”

This Father is SICK SICK SICK!!

Bicyea on February 5, 2009 at 9:18 AM

I remember when I had my wisdom teeth out. The doctor gave me a little green pill and told me to take it just before I came in for the appointment. *** That little green pill kicked in just as she asked me if I’d seen my best friend that weekend. I looked at her and started laughing uncontrollably. ***
trigon on February 5, 2009 at 4:35 AM

Are you male or female? I have had wisdom teeth out, and my appendix out. Both procedures required anesthesia. I was never offered any sedatives at all. Virtually every woman I’ve ever met gets sedatives for any such procedure, regardless of whether anesthesia is used. I’m not passing judgment, just making an observation.

And I bet you wish that was a blue pill, not a green pill. God love the Matrix. :)

Outlander on February 5, 2009 at 9:32 AM

What a ‘Flushback’ This is a perfect example of liberal parenting. Kids are so much more fun when they are stoned and easier to control too.

I bet you can fast forward this clip and the kid will be in political office, probably as the Secretary of Health and Human Services.

MSGTAS on February 5, 2009 at 10:03 AM

Future stoner! Guaranteed! Daddy is a dick head!

sabbott on February 5, 2009 at 10:12 AM

Outlander on February 5, 2009 at 9:32 AM

I had one wisdom tooth taken out in high school, on in the Navy, and the other two after getting out of the Navy (loooong story). I was never given a sedative. The only time I was given a sedative was coming out of my emergency c-section, being told I almost bled to death and I had lost 3 hours of my life in surgery. They sedated me then!

I wish I could get a sedative when going to the dentist. It would make things a whole lot easier!

Anna on February 5, 2009 at 10:20 AM

Future swimming champion?

Bevan on February 5, 2009 at 2:36 PM

Are you male or female? I have had wisdom teeth out, and my appendix out. Both procedures required anesthesia. I was never offered any sedatives at all. Virtually every woman I’ve ever met gets sedatives for any such procedure, regardless of whether anesthesia is used. I’m not passing judgment, just making an observation.

And I bet you wish that was a blue pill, not a green pill. God love the Matrix. :)

Outlander on February 5, 2009 at 9:32 AM

100% red-blooded American Male.

I had my Appendix out, too. I didn’t get any sedatives.

I woke up one morning with a hell of a pain in my side. I couldn’t bend over and I certainly couldn’t drive. Went to the doctor about 10 that morning. He looked me over and sent me home. Said to come back at 3. I knew from the pain that things were really, really wrong. By three my white count and temp were up so they sent me straight to the hospital. Answered about a million questions in the lobby. They sent me up to a room. Nothing happened. I sat there for a while. Finally, this really cute nurse comes in. Starts asking me the same questions they asked in the lobby. By now I was in so much pain I ran her right on out of there. I decided to make like a patient, put on the gown and got into bed. Still, nothing else happens.

After what seems like forever, this guy walks in and introduces himself. Says he’s my surgeon. Gives me the exam. Which was no fun at all. He tells me that they are going to take my Appendix out soon. I asked him, “How soon is soon?” He says 45 minutes if we can’t make it quicker.

Next thing I know they’re x-raying my chest and making me sign papers that I realize I’m having surgery and I might die. There are about three nurses running around and not doing much. The gurney shows up and I get on it. The nurses in the white uniforms wheel me down to the surgical theaters.

When you get there, the green nurses take over. I get this guy. He’s wheeling me down the hallway and I’m staring at the ceiling going by when he asks me my name. I tell him. Then, he asks me what I’m here for. WTF!? I tell him I’m there to have my Appendix out. He says, “Do you know why we ask you these questions?” I say, “Yeah, you want to make goddamned sure you’ve got the right body on this gurney.” He stops, looks down at me, and says, “You’re not pre-medicated, are you?” I say, “Nope.”

They get me onto the table in the OR and discover I haven’t been shaved, either. So, they start doing that. In the middle of this I get to meet my Anesthesiologist, who is a very beautiful woman. I’m thinking this can’t get any worse, so I try to make some conversation with her. I ask what she’s going to be giving me. She says some Sodium Pentothal, Curare and some gas. I ask, “What gas?” She suddenly looks kind of startled and says, “What operating room is this?”

I just say, “Could you please put me out, now?”

God help us when we fall into the hands of doctors.

It turned out my Appendix had died about 3 days before. It had gangrene when they got it out. I spent 5 1/2 days in the hospital while they got the infection under control. If it weren’t for modern antibiotics, I’d have died.

I really could’ve used one of those green pills that day.

trigon on February 5, 2009 at 2:40 PM

Reminded me of my son, in the ER, when he broke his arm.
The morphine kicked in and it was la…la..la..laaaaa!

rightwingmom on February 5, 2009 at 3:08 PM

Furture POTUS? Wait, Bill didn’t inhale!

rightwingmom on February 5, 2009 at 3:20 PM

Furture POTUS? Wait, Bill didn’t inhale!

rightwingmom on February 5, 2009 at 3:20 PM

No but Barry snorted!

Bicyea on February 5, 2009 at 3:31 PM

100% red-blooded American Male.

I had my Appendix out, too. I didn’t get any sedatives.

Pfft. I’ll see that and raise you.

I had an enflamed, gangrenous appendix for an entire week and thought it was just bad menstral cramps. During that week, I went to rollerderby practice – twice. I didn’t go to a doctor until I spiked a fever. I got sedatives following the surgery, but I never get them for the monthlies.

bitsy on February 5, 2009 at 5:02 PM

trigon on February 5, 2009 at 2:40 PM

Holy Christ. You are lucky to be alive!

jewells45 on February 5, 2009 at 8:06 PM

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