Video: The obligatory “7-year-old stoned out of his mind” clip

posted at 3:30 pm on February 4, 2009 by Allahpundit

Comedy gold to cleanse the palate, courtesy of a trip to the dentist and a liberal dose of nitrous. At 1.5 million views in just five days, his guest appearance on “Fox & Friends” is all but assured.

Alternate title: “Michael Phelps, the early years.”

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Dad’s going to be cleaning the car in 3…2…1…

kybowexar on February 4, 2009 at 3:37 PM

Dude really… stop trying to crosspost from Digg… you’ll end up like Slashdot… :)

Skywise on February 4, 2009 at 3:38 PM

Father of the year.

snickelfritz on February 4, 2009 at 3:39 PM

Gator fan. Figures.

Weight of Glory on February 4, 2009 at 3:40 PM

Dude really… stop trying to crosspost from Digg… you’ll end up like Slashdot… :)

Didn’t get it from Digg.

Allahpundit on February 4, 2009 at 3:40 PM

when my kids were 5 and 7, my folks came to visit us for a few days and spend some time with them while the wife and I were working.

One day, my sons were thirsty, and my mom decided to give them some orange juice that she found in the fridge. My oldest didn’t like the juice, he thought it tasted ‘funny’, but my youngest loved it and drank three big glasses.

Did I mention that, at the time, my wife enjoyed fuzzy navels?

dalewalt on February 4, 2009 at 3:41 PM

Is this real life?

Question being asked by Obama’s transition team…

becki51758 on February 4, 2009 at 3:41 PM

Is this real life?

Hard to say, kid. Once you’ve been there, it’s hard to say.

Tzetzes on February 4, 2009 at 3:42 PM

lol
poor kid

LimeyGeek on February 4, 2009 at 3:42 PM

Ha ha “Is this real life?” and “am I gonna be like this forever?!!” hilarious.

TDBURN on February 4, 2009 at 3:44 PM

It’s like me on January 20th around noon.

amerpundit on February 4, 2009 at 3:45 PM

Ah, good ol’ nitrous.

rbj on February 4, 2009 at 3:45 PM

I loved “I have two fingers.”

I’ve had days like this without any pharmaceutical explanation.

I agree with Tzetzes – once you’ve been to real life it is hard to know.

kybowexar on February 4, 2009 at 3:45 PM

Is this real life?

I know how he feels.
His experience mirrors the one I had on the Stein/ID thread.
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH………………

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 3:46 PM

OMG…funniest thing ever seen.

DeathToMediaHacks on February 4, 2009 at 3:46 PM

I’ll take some NOS for the next four years. Thanks.

strictnein on February 4, 2009 at 3:46 PM

Quick! Get a marker and let’s draw on the kid’s face after he passes out!

MadisonConservative on February 4, 2009 at 3:47 PM

“Why is that happening to me?”

Spoken like a true first-timer.

madmonkphotog on February 4, 2009 at 3:48 PM

You have four eyes.

GOLD JERRY GOLD

Ugly on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

I think any parent that puts his or her child on the internet like this is a complete a*hole. why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

‘Is this forever?’ and ‘Why is this happening to me?’

The signature questions of the Obama Presidency.

austinnelly on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

I think any parent that puts his or her child on the internet like this is a complete a*hole. why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

lol

offroadaz on February 4, 2009 at 3:50 PM

I love the primal scream for apparently no reason other than he could.

SnarkVader on February 4, 2009 at 3:51 PM

Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer, too.

flipflop on February 4, 2009 at 3:51 PM

I feel a little bad about laughing at some other person’s kid… but it is funny.

I’d have answered no to the “is this real” question, but I’m mean like that. Of course, after the events of the last couple months, I’m questioning whether it’s real anyway myself.

Anna on February 4, 2009 at 3:52 PM

I think any parent that puts his or her child on the internet like this is a complete a*hole. why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

Oh, please. Parents have been doing that with cameras and video cameras since they were invented. Ever heard of America’s Funniest Home Videos? Even before that, how many polaroids did the folks whip out when you brought a date home to meet them?

MadisonConservative on February 4, 2009 at 3:52 PM

I think I was like that for a few hours after having my wisdom teeth removed in high school………

Techie on February 4, 2009 at 3:53 PM

why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

It’s what we live for.

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 3:53 PM

after the events of the last couple months, I’m questioning whether it’s real anyway myself.

Anna on February 4, 2009 at 3:52 PM

You are just not ‘evolved’ enough Anna!

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 3:54 PM

Funny stuff.

jencab on February 4, 2009 at 3:55 PM

that’s hilarious. The dentists have the best drugs for sure. The kid seemed to be having a good time even though he wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Great find.

ThackerAgency on February 4, 2009 at 3:56 PM

You are just not ‘evolved’ enough Anna!

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 3:54 PM

Maybe I just wasn’t designed properly. Something slipped through the cracks.

Anna on February 4, 2009 at 3:57 PM

Oh, please. Parents have been doing that with cameras and video cameras since they were invented. Ever heard of America’s Funniest Home Videos? Even before that, how many polaroids did the folks whip out when you brought a date home to meet them?

MadisonConservative on February 4, 2009 at 3:52 PM

The distinction is that this is being distributed indiscriminately. Everyone in the world will be laughing at this kid.

The rest of his life.

spmat on February 4, 2009 at 3:57 PM

Now i know how to calm down my neighbors pain in the ass kids. A tank of nitrous, and a garden hose under the door.

MDWNJ on February 4, 2009 at 3:58 PM

I’d have answered no to the “is this real” question

Anna on February 4, 2009 at 3:52 PM

That would be awesome.

Ugly on February 4, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Alternate title: “Michael Phelps, the early years.”

haha

JetBoy on February 4, 2009 at 4:01 PM

Now i know how to calm down my neighbors pain in the ass kids. A tank of nitrous, and a garden hose under the door.

MDWNJ on February 4, 2009 at 3:58 PM

WHOAH! Why didn’t I ever think of that when I used to babysit 8 kids?!

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 4:01 PM

What kind of 5 year old needs dental surgery?

Get a frickin toothbrush!

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:02 PM

WHOAH! Why didn’t I ever think of that when I used to babysit 8 kids?!

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 4:01 PM

See, instead of taking a bottle of advil, you could have made comedy gold, with a camcorder and a tank of nitrous. :)

8 kids. Wow! Did you get a trophy?

MDWNJ on February 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM

Pharmaceutically induced distress in a child?

Comedy cash4gold!

/

Christien on February 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:02 PM

Errr, 7.

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM

Good thing the kid was out of it, their next appointment was with Tim Tebow and his circumcision scalpel.

MattUF on February 4, 2009 at 4:06 PM

Ever heard of America’s Funniest Home Videos?

So that’s the ethical gold standard now? Lord help us.

calbear on February 4, 2009 at 4:06 PM

What kind of 5 year old needs dental surgery?

Get a frickin toothbrush!

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:02 PM

My cousin had to get dental surgery at around 4, because his adult teeth were developing too quickly and messing up his baby teeth/mouth. I teased him for years about it. This kid might have chipped them falling on the ground, who knows?

Anna on February 4, 2009 at 4:06 PM

I personally believe that any mind altering drugs should not be given to children, unless absolutely necessary.

Johan Klaus on February 4, 2009 at 4:06 PM

Dad’s going to be cleaning the car in 3…2…1…

kybowexar on February 4, 2009 at 3:37 PM

yep, when I got my wisdom teeth out I remember seeing double of everything on the way home, got sick later on. then the pain set in.

jp on February 4, 2009 at 4:07 PM

heh…reminds me of being just a little older than this kid, when I got 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled. Between the codeine, the demerol, and “the gas” I swear I was riding along with Bugs Bunny on a cloud.

JetBoy on February 4, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Unfunny.

No way in the world I’d have EVER humiliated either of my daughters like that.

irongrampa on February 4, 2009 at 4:09 PM

Errr, 7.

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM

I remember having to get three baby teeth removed around the age of 9. I wish I had had that much nitrous. My mother might not remember listening to me scream if I had.

MadisonConservative on February 4, 2009 at 4:10 PM

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

+1

warbaby on February 4, 2009 at 4:12 PM

Gator fan. Figures.

Weight of Glory on February 4, 2009 at 3:40 PM

GFY.

Loser.
__________

RJGatorEsq. on February 4, 2009 at 4:15 PM

8 kids. Wow! Did you get a trophy?

MDWNJ on February 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM

I wish. Only $$.
And not enough of it.

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 4:17 PM

I personally believe that any mind altering drugs should not be given to children, unless absolutely necessary.

Johan Klaus on February 4, 2009 at 4:06 PM

So what do you suggest they use for this sort of surgery? I’ve had the laughing gas and been put under by some other drug, and they’ve both altered my mind.

Anna on February 4, 2009 at 4:18 PM

Dad- can we stop by McDonald’s and get a couple dozen Happy Meals?

Amendment X on February 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

“Nooooo. No one at your school will see this.” *click*

Ronnie on February 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

I’ve had nitrous at the dentist several times, but they usually just run some clean air through there and clears me right up…what’s up with these dentists?

kirkill on February 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

Someone get that kid a bag of Fritos!!

crazy_legs on February 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

I had to have surgury on my hand recently. The anti-anxiety stuff they put me on was some good sh*t, man!

crazy_legs on February 4, 2009 at 4:22 PM

why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

Because they are scumbags.
As a parent of a young child, I find this kind of voyeurism disgusting and shameful. It’s like those “America’s Funniest” videos, where some poor kid is obviously set up for an accident by the moronic parents filming. Of course, they keep on filming, after the kid gets wacked or falls down on his face – proving to me that it is a damn setup to start with.
What worthless crap they must be.
Any “adult” (I’m using that description loosely) who posts something like this needs to be looked at, or at least get a good swift kick in the nuts. Now THAT would be a good video to post!

TexasJew on February 4, 2009 at 4:26 PM

“Dad- can we stop by McDonald’s and get a couple dozen Happy Meals?“

Amendment X on February 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

Someone get that kid a bag of Fritos!!

crazy_legs on February 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

Wrong kinda drugs, you wacky 4:20 commenters. Nitrous requires an empty stomach.

Tzetzes on February 4, 2009 at 4:28 PM

This is why I have never taken nitrous…well, this and witnessing partaking patients “in the back” when I worked in a dentist’s office….

ladyingray on February 4, 2009 at 4:29 PM

Don’t worry kid, everybody will forget about this…until we show it again at your graduation and wedding…

cntrlfrk on February 4, 2009 at 4:31 PM

Way to go dad… it’s funny when you show this to him later in life or maybe to his future fiancee, but the whole freaking world?

Why don’t you make a video of him trying to avoid you trying to throw a football at his crotch?

The world has gone nuts…

krl on February 4, 2009 at 4:37 PM

This is why I have never taken nitrous…

ladyingray on February 4, 2009 at 4:29 PM

It’s not so bad and far less mind altering than more pain meds. I was told it’s just like getting drunk, but even then it’s more like getting buzzed.

Esthier on February 4, 2009 at 4:37 PM

What kind of 5 year old needs dental surgery?

Get a frickin toothbrush!

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:02 PM

My son had to have a tooth removed at about 7 because he cracked it. It was considered dental surgery. They gave him nitrous, too. Things happen to kids, it’s not just a lack of hygiene.

StephC on February 4, 2009 at 4:48 PM

heh…reminds me of being just a little older than this kid, when I got 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled. Between the codeine, the demerol, and “the gas” I swear I was riding along with Bugs Bunny on a cloud.

JetBoy on February 4, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Heh. Yeah, I liked the drugs they gave me when mine were taken out. I went in first, my brother second, and by the time I woke up, we were driving home, and my brother wouldn’t shut up even though talking was making his teeth bleed more and neither I nor my mom understood a word he was saying.

I didn’t truly appreciate pain medicine until college when I had a root canal. I wrote my favorite short story while on pain meds. It was a relentlessly slow process but fun.

Esthier on February 4, 2009 at 4:50 PM

This is how most Sooners act, right before a football game.

OhEssYouCowboys on February 4, 2009 at 4:52 PM

I live in Jacksonville, FL and this kid doesn’t look too much different from all the other Gator fans I encounter on a daily basis.

mmtaz on February 4, 2009 at 4:53 PM

Gee, my nephews are always like that. I wonder if they’ve got a secret nitrous stash. And if they’re willing to share.

sulla on February 4, 2009 at 4:55 PM

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

When my parents would embarrass me in public, I just embarrassed them right back.

Vic on February 4, 2009 at 4:57 PM

TexasJew on February 4, 2009 at 4:26 PM

Faux outrage, AWAY!

DeathToMediaHacks on February 4, 2009 at 4:59 PM

a good swift kick in the nuts. Now THAT would be a good video to post!

TexasJew on February 4, 2009 at 4:26 PM

It’s called America’s Funniest Home Videos. There’s a federally-mandated minimum of three crotch-crunches per episode.

sulla on February 4, 2009 at 5:07 PM

YouTube should be very very careful when it comes to posting videos of children under the influence of any drug or substance, legal or not. Sorry, it encourages copy-cats and there are numerous criminal cases of getting toddlers “high” or “stoned” for the amusements of adults stupid enough to have filmed their actions.

Marcus on February 4, 2009 at 5:11 PM

Don’t be so sure the parent is embarassing his kid. I have one kid that would be mortified if I did that but I have another one that would probably upload it herself.

Perhaps this kid thinks it’s hilarious and wants it on YouTube. You just don’t know.

CookeyD on February 4, 2009 at 5:11 PM

TIM TEBOW:THE EARLY YEARS

Like the lovely and gracious MKH, I think I speak for BOTH of us GEORGIA GRADS, and the many , many who can but READ the comments here….

GOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:14 PM

DeathToMediaHacks on February 4, 2009 at 4:59 PM

Idiot. And that’s not a faux statement.

TexasJew on February 4, 2009 at 5:14 PM

RJGatorEsq. on February 4, 2009 at 4:15 PM

You are SOOOOooo outgunned here, dude….SO.

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:15 PM

Watched it again, he’s an adorable child but I stopped laughing at the end when he looked scared and on the verge of crying (and I was laughing prior). At least dad decided enough was enough.

Marcus on February 4, 2009 at 5:16 PM

“Is this real life?”

Classic.

TMK on February 4, 2009 at 5:16 PM

This clip has BEEN viral at all the GEORGIA fan sites.

That MORONIC GATOR DAD just F*CKED his fellow fans flat….

***LMFAO***

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:17 PM

I didn’t truly appreciate pain medicine until college when I had a root canal. I wrote my favorite short story while on pain meds. It was a relentlessly slow process but fun.

Esthier on February 4, 2009 at 4:50 PM

I had root canal on a molar a couple years ago. Honestly, all I needed was a little Advil…it hardly hurt at all. Everyone I talked to said it was going to be a nightmare of pain, but I never had it. Lucky I guess…

JetBoy on February 4, 2009 at 5:23 PM

Lucky I guess…

JetBoy on February 4, 2009 at 5:23 PM

Yes, very. Then again, I had several cavities taken care of at once, including the root canal, so maybe I’m not the best judge, but I used to take the next set of meds (including four Advils, which is apparently prescription strength) 30 minutes early just to keep from having a gap.

Esthier on February 4, 2009 at 5:26 PM

I think any parent that puts his or her child on the internet like this is a complete a*hole. why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.

Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

Righteous. Indignation. Lighten up. It’s not like the parent gave him drugs and then filmed him.

scalleywag on February 4, 2009 at 5:30 PM

This is terrible; the poor boy. His stupid dad keeps coaching him to think that being drugged “feels good.” He has the mind to rebel against it, but his idiot exploitive father thinks it’s great.

ashleymatt on February 4, 2009 at 5:30 PM

You are SOOOoooo outgunned here, dude….SO.

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:15 PM

Gators are routinely outgunned on the internet. Where people talk.

On the football field? Not so much.
__________

Anyway, I hear that Georgia will be replacing its turf field with paper.

On paper, the Dawgs can beat the Gators.
__________

RJGatorEsq. on February 4, 2009 at 5:34 PM

Oh too funny. Thanks for that AP. Seriously.

ronsfi on February 4, 2009 at 5:40 PM

Gators are routinely outgunned on the internet. Where people talk.

On the football field? Not so much.

NO…RJGATOR, you mean where people **THINK**.

I LOVE MY DAWGS, but I swear, if I have to face next season with no line-up, I am going to have to get WAAAAAAAAAAY more inebriated just to have the courage to flip on the TV.

But hey, isn’t that why we watch collecg ball anyway.

Good luck next year….. not that you need it. ;)

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:41 PM

I type like I am inebriated already….so what is the dif?????

****Preview Button Hater***

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:42 PM

I have to weigh in with the minority opinion. I found this very distasteful and not at all funny. Felt sorry for the child that no one was explaining it to him and letting him know that he would feel better soon.

And there’s no way this is just from nitrous. As someone mentioned above, after nitrous, they give you pure oxygen for a minute or two and the effects go away.

califcon on February 4, 2009 at 5:45 PM

Well, as you can’t KEEP parents from videotaping their kids, and youtube is inevitable, those who have an issue with this are basically wasting breath being indignant.

Unless of course you want the government to crack down.
Nanny state, did you say?

Now this IS real life. :)

tickleddragon on February 4, 2009 at 6:00 PM

seejanemom on February 4, 2009 at 5:41 PM

What do Sam Bradford, Matthew Stafford, and Joe Cox have in common?

If they played for the Gators, they’d all be shaggng balls for Tim Tebow.
___________

RJGatorEsq. on February 4, 2009 at 6:13 PM

I soooo want to go to the dentist right now. . .

Texyank on February 4, 2009 at 6:23 PM

I love this: “Is this real life?”

Alana on February 4, 2009 at 6:43 PM

why do parents insist on embarassing their children to the world.
Vincenzo on February 4, 2009 at 3:49 PM

It’s what we live for.

Badger40 on February 4, 2009 at 3:53 PM

hahahaha badger!

Alana on February 4, 2009 at 6:46 PM

Interesting. The kid was worried that he would be like that forever.

watson007 on February 4, 2009 at 7:19 PM

heh…reminds me of being just a little older than this kid, when I got 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled. Between the codeine, the demerol, and “the gas” I swear I was riding along with Bugs Bunny on a cloud.

JetBoy on February 4, 2009 at 4:08 PM

And this explains most of your looneytunes ideas today?

platypus on February 4, 2009 at 7:25 PM

I’m sorry to be a killjoy, but I find it disturbing that this dad would say, “It feels good, right?” when the boy says he feels funny. And then he posts it on You Tube.

The dad is a jerk and I think the dentist overmedicated the kid. It’s not really funny, IMO.

Amy Proctor on February 4, 2009 at 8:04 PM

What kind of 5 year old needs dental surgery?

Get a frickin toothbrush!

Abby Adams on February 4, 2009 at 4:02 PM

The video description indicates that the child had an extra tooth in his mouth which needed to be removed. I suppose this could be done with a toothbrush, but it would be a bit more painful ;-)

This video is hilarious, and reminds me of the time I got my wisdom teeth out about a year and a half ago. I was chatting (incoherently, I’m sure) while my wife was filling out all the paperwork as we left, and she eventually said said “you know, maybe you shouldn’t talk so much.” Holding twin ice packs to my face, I looked at her and stumbled out in a very sarcastic tone, “You’ve been telling me that for four years!” I recall the staff getting a good kick out of that, and my wife rolling her eyes and leading me out (a not uncommon occurrence, actually).

Then again, how do we know this kid had surgery? He looks like a typical Gator fan to me!

ChePibe on February 4, 2009 at 8:39 PM

I’m sorry to be a killjoy, but I find it disturbing that this dad would say, “It feels good, right?” when the boy says he feels funny. And then he posts it on You Tube.

The dad is a jerk and I think the dentist overmedicated the kid. It’s not really funny, IMO.

Amy Proctor on February 4, 2009 at 8:04 PM

Killjoy. Your right. The dad shouldn’t try to put a positive spin on it for the kid. He should just be a dour prude. That would help the kid a lot. I had my wisdom teeth out when I was young and my mom said I was funny as hell. She still has pictures of me looking all doped up. I remembered none of it. This kid will be fine. And he’ll have a video to laugh at for the rest of his life. Thanks for the expert opinion of over medicating the kid. How should a kid act after having the proper dose?

Ampersand on February 4, 2009 at 8:45 PM

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