“This man is Jesus”: Kenyans expecting food, jobs, schools from Obama
posted at 8:29 pm on January 20, 2009 by Allahpundit
Toss in something about clean coal and unicorns and you’ve got his campaign platform, basically.
“This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?” If Barack Obama’s spin doctors have been trying to lower expectations since his election victory, the message clearly has not reached the land of his father…
“Now he is president we will get food and jobs,” said Ben Ochieng, as he danced to the traditional music that replaced the planned show…
The Kenya National Theatre even revived its hit show Obama The Musical, which wowed sell-out audiences during the US election last year. It uses parallels with the Bible Story and Mr Obama’s own struggles with racism and drugs — documented in his memoir Dreams From My Father – to portray the incoming President as a saviour for downtrodden peoples of the world…
“It is right that when people get power they look after their family, so we know that Obama will build lots of good things for us, like schools and roads and clinics,” said George Opiyo as he left the theatre.
Exit question: We’ve got a trillion-dollar stimulus in the chute and god knows how many more billions coming as part of TARP II. How much extra would it cost to bail out Kenya, realistically? Maybe $10 billion? Cut ‘em a check!
Blowback
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you sure this wasn’t msnbc staffers?
rob verdi on January 20, 2009 at 8:31 PM
This is a joke. Right? Right??
pullingmyhairout on January 20, 2009 at 8:31 PM
Has he yet given that money he promised that school several years back? I don’t think so…good luck Kenya.
AUINSC on January 20, 2009 at 8:32 PM
I was thinking more like $12.53. (keep the change)
BobMbx on January 20, 2009 at 8:32 PM
All he needs is a pair of Birkenstocks and some dreads. I guarantee that somewhere in South America or South Central there is a baby named Jesus Obama.
Jesus, of course, is pronounced hay-zeus.
The Race Card on January 20, 2009 at 8:34 PM
Please capitalize the “G” in God.
leetpriest on January 20, 2009 at 8:35 PM
Raaacist.
Weight of Glory on January 20, 2009 at 8:35 PM
Hey, I’m with AP: cut ‘em a check! This way, TARP II can help some people somewhere. God knows it isn’t going to help us here.
karl9000 on January 20, 2009 at 8:37 PM
In his speech he said…
-
-
Which translates to… Open up those wallets folks, Obama wants to impress the world by being a big spender!
RalphyBoy on January 20, 2009 at 8:37 PM
He can cut him a check from his own checking account. But don’t hold your breath. If anything we have learned how miserly the Messia and J-O-B-S are.
Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap.
Blake on January 20, 2009 at 8:38 PM
I would just like to remind everyone that the real problem is Sarah Palin.
Jim Treacher on January 20, 2009 at 8:38 PM
President Obama today said…
AP today said…
How can we rationalize sending a check to Kenya while at the same time promoting the values of hard work and self-determination as outlined by the new President? I’m slightly confused……or a raaaaaaaaaacist.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 8:39 PM
Shouldn’t Pres. Obama first help out his own brother, before thinking about lifting whole nations out of poverty? Can I get a witness?
Weight of Glory on January 20, 2009 at 8:39 PM
He could at least throw a few bucks his half-brother’s way.
bookman on January 20, 2009 at 8:39 PM
He couldn’t even spare a room for his Brother.
Hmmm yeah, Obama won’t be using his other house. He should let the poor have it or something and etc.
- The Cat
MirCat on January 20, 2009 at 8:39 PM
This is why I disbanded the fundraiser for the school in Obama’s father’s hometown.
baldilocks on January 20, 2009 at 8:40 PM
They confused him for Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite. “Vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true.”
Disturb the Universe on January 20, 2009 at 8:40 PM
If this represents what the world expects from him………..Oh the let down will be oh so yummy! :)
ThePrez on January 20, 2009 at 8:40 PM
Think about every man, or men that the world has put up on such a pedestal based on pretty much nothing.
Everyone who rises, falls. It is the way of the world.
It will happen to Obama. The only problem is that there will be more consequences than when it happens to some pop-culture moron. This guy is the leader of the free world.
jimmy the notable on January 20, 2009 at 8:40 PM
No doubt, Jim. Did you know Trig just got glasses? Had FOCA been in place, maybe Sarracuda would have aborted him. That would have saved some money!
/heavy sarcasm
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 8:40 PM
Wow, three digs on the brother issue at the same time!
bookman on January 20, 2009 at 8:41 PM
I have a funny feeling Ben is going to be quite disappointed. Barry let his aunt rot in a public housing slum in Boston, why do they expect Barry to fix Kenya. Oh well, I’m sure Olby of Kenya will tell the people to blame Bush or something.
Lance Murdock on January 20, 2009 at 8:41 PM
The Bible Story? Doesn’t anyone at the Times read the Bible, which contains hundreds of stories?
jgapinoy on January 20, 2009 at 8:42 PM
Bravo. I wish I had your bravery.
jimmy the notable on January 20, 2009 at 8:42 PM
How long before this opens on Broadway?
(Wowed…as in Sham Wow.)
Disturb the Universe on January 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
I am sure Obama will be funneling money over to Odinga so he can close the deal with the Muslims.
izoneguy on January 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Well, it is where he was born!
dmann on January 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
I actually clicked on the story thinking you had said “Kanye” instead of “Kenyans.” At least that would have made better sense of all his references to Jesus in his songs.
wardrobedoor on January 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
They’re kidding right? Try fixing your own damn problems Kenya…
“It is right that when people get power they look after their family, so we know that Obama will build lots of good things for us, like schools and roads and clinics,” said George Opiyo
That sums up the backwards nepotism/tribal crap keeping that area of the world down. UNBELIEVABLE!
jwp1964 on January 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Nmptt!! Ya know.. I think I may have some Kenyan blood in me too.
Can a bruthah get a check?
44Magnum on January 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Once again, Treacher assess and refocuses. Thank you sir. Did you know she had her daughters baby while consciously not reading things about stuff. It’s true, SNL told me so.
Weight of Glory on January 20, 2009 at 8:44 PM
I think I love you, Mr. Treacher. You’ve made me smile today.
Anna on January 20, 2009 at 8:45 PM
BHO has ignored all of his relaives there like forever, but now he can use our tax dollars to help them.
jgapinoy on January 20, 2009 at 8:45 PM
I actually do have Kenyan blood so the line forms behind me. :)
baldilocks on January 20, 2009 at 8:46 PM
HEADBANG SMILEY!! HEADBANG SMILEY!!
MY HOTAIR FOR A HEADBANG SMILEY!!
Oooh… maybe I could just borrow the Admiral Ackbar head to the palm ascii art…
Skywise on January 20, 2009 at 8:46 PM
Is he going to pay their mortgages and put gas in their cars, too?
Wethal on January 20, 2009 at 8:47 PM
But can He give them a brain and a clue?
MB4 on January 20, 2009 at 8:47 PM
OT: Check out what present Granny Sarah brought to our new President
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 8:47 PM
Why? Peggy Joseph thinks Obama’s going to pay for her gas and mortgage.
amerpundit on January 20, 2009 at 8:48 PM
baldilocks on January 20, 2009 at 8:46 PM
Tell Barry you’re his 3rd cousin, twice removed. Just like Odinga. Keep the money in the family,sweetie.
Obama, the Musical will probably do better than “Rosie, The Variety Show. It couldn’t do worse.
kingsjester on January 20, 2009 at 8:49 PM
How about using a sliver of that money to work a deal with ICE to make Aunt Zeituni legal?
If he bailed his own family (and extended family), wouldn’t that be an economic stimulus for half of Kenya?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 8:49 PM
………. everything that made The United States of America what it was before today.
Now it’s time to say………….. good-bye.
Seven Percent Solution on January 20, 2009 at 8:50 PM
A small price to pay for BHO to get them to seal those pesky birth records forevah!!!
tommylotto on January 20, 2009 at 8:50 PM
EVITA – And The Money Kept Rolling In lyrics
[Che:]
And the money kept rolling in from every side
Eva’s pretty hands reached out and they reached wide
Now you may feel it should have been a voluntary cause
But that’s not the point my friends
When the money keeps rolling in, you don’t ask how
Think of all the people guaranteed a good time now
Eva’s called the hungry to her, open up the doors
Never been a fund like the Foundation Eva Peron
[Chorus:]
[Workers:]
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, rollin’
rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, rollin’
rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, rollin’
rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, rollin’
rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ on in, rollin’ on in
Rollin’ on in, rollin’ on in
On in
[Che:]
Would you like to try a college education?
Own your landlord’s house, take the family on vacation?
Eva and her blessed fund can make your dreams come true
Here’s all you have to do my friends
Write your name and your dream on a card or a pad or a ticket
Throw it high in the air and should our lady pick it
She will change your way of life for a week or even two
Name me anyone who cares as much as Eva Peron
[chorus]
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
On out
[Che:]
And the money kept rolling out in all directions
To the poor, to the weak, to the destitute of all complexions
Now cynics claim a little of the cash has gone astray
But that’s not the point my friends
When the money keeps rolling out you don’t keep books
You can tell you’ve done well by the happy grateful
looks
Accountants only slow things down, figures get in the way
Never been a lady loved as much as Eva Peron
[chorus]
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
On out
[Che:]
Eva!!!
When the money keeps rolling out you don’t keep books
You can tell you’ve done well by the happy grateful
looks
Accountants only slow things down, figures get in the way
Never been a lady loved as much as Eva Peron
[chorus]
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
Rollin’ on out, rollin’ on out
On out
Disturb the Universe on January 20, 2009 at 8:51 PM
And people grumble about Americans thinking the USA is the center of the world…
Isn’t psychology wonderful. If there’s something wrong in your country -blame the US. That way its the US’s responsibility to fix the problem, not their own problem to fix. Just like so many on the left. Spend your efforts blaming everyone else for your problems instead of doing something about it yourself. What will they do now that Obama is president?
taznar on January 20, 2009 at 8:51 PM
How soon does Cousin Odinga get his first White House visit?
I’m guessing he’s well up the list for one of those checks Osama Obama wants to throw around.
I’d rather give the money to baldilocks, but hey, that’s just me.
MrScribbler on January 20, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Yea, until a few billion people decide that they are not going to be given all these things, and then to take it anyway. Dreams die hard, and this one will be explosive.
MikeA on January 20, 2009 at 8:53 PM
These people are pathetically delusional. Obama’s brother still lives in a @#$#% hut for crying out loud and his aunt’s on welfare. A savior, he is not.
CP on January 20, 2009 at 8:53 PM
The 20% of people who don,t even know what country they live in .Who for the most part voted for Obama are going to find out real soon that this man child does not walk on water.The single women who have 3 or 4 out of wedlock children by diff. men are also going to find out that the one will not pay there rent or buy them a new car.Just wait until Al & Jessie start yelling for there cut.The union bosses want there share.All the wall far left loons will want what they were promise.It,s going to be fun to watch.
thmcbb on January 20, 2009 at 8:53 PM
You first, AP.
klickink.wordpress.com on January 20, 2009 at 8:53 PM
I see him floating in the air
Raindrops falling on him
He doesn’t even seem to care
He lands and smiles as if just at me
And I know
(I know, I know, I know, I know)
He will make me rich and happy
(rich, rich, happy, happy).
Money in his hair
Money everywhere
I love the Money Man
Oh, I don´t know just why
His Hope and Change simply catches my eye
I love the Money Man
He seems so generous and kind
He sweeps thoughts of $$$ into my mind
I know I have to say bravo
(bravo, bravo)
He smiles over at me
It’s as if he takes me by the hand
And we walk
To the bank alone
And I know
(I know, I know, I know, I know)
He will make me rich and happy
(rich, rich, happy, happy).
Money in his hair
Money everywhere
MB4 on January 20, 2009 at 8:54 PM
38,000,000 people in Kenya times $1.00 per month (what Obama’s brother makes) equals….you do the math.
jcheney on January 20, 2009 at 8:57 PM
In other words, Kenya is collectively singing “I Wanne Be Rich” by one-hit wonder Calloway?
aCsh cold that’s what I need
These bill collectors they ring my phone
They bother me when I’m not at home
Ain’t go no time to be fooling round
Feet touch the floors and I get on down, you see
Chorus:
I want money lots and lots of money
I want the pie in the sky
I want money lots and lots of money
So don’t be asking me why
I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich
I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich
For a little love peace and happiness
I want my cake wanna eat it too
I want the stars and the silver moon
I spend my money of lottery
My favourite number is 1 2 3, you see
Everyway rich
Love peace and happiness
I want all the things that lovers do
A pocketfull of dreams come true
Everything you can not find
Want you by my side?
That keep you satisfied and rich
Here is what you gonna do
Say oh I say uh uh
Got to be baby
I just wanna be rich
I just wanna be, just wanna be
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 8:58 PM
Huh. Is that a common surname?
Tanya on January 20, 2009 at 8:58 PM
But that was when he only had his own money at his disposal. It’s so much easier to be generous with other people’s money.
Disturb the Universe on January 20, 2009 at 8:59 PM
$10 billion? ? Sally Struthers said I could do it for the price of a cup of coffee. I had no idea she meant Starbucks coffee.
Ronnie on January 20, 2009 at 9:00 PM
You do know that Odinga is Kenya’s Prime Minister, right?
Coolio! :)
Actually you can give it to an American charity of your choosing.
baldilocks on January 20, 2009 at 9:00 PM
Exactly the Chicago way, that far he got it right.
the_nile on January 20, 2009 at 9:01 PM
Who can take an election win, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with choc’late and a trillion bucks or two
The Obama Man, oh the Obama Man can
The Obama Man can ’cause he mixes it with hope and change and makes the whole thing taste good
Who can get in step with Congress, wrap it all in a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make a groovy economic pie
The Obama Man, the Obama Man can
The Obama Man can ’cause he mixes it with hope and change and makes the whole thing taste good
The Obama Man makes everything he does satisfying and delicious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat his best wishes
Oh, who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream
The Obama Man, oh the Obama Man can
The Obama Man can ’cause he mixes it with hope and change and makes the whole thing taste good
The Obama Man makes everything he does satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat his best wishes
Yeah, yeah, yeah
MB4 on January 20, 2009 at 9:02 PM
Yes! It the Kenyan Luo version of ‘Smith.’ (I assume that you know that it’s my last name/patronymic too.)
baldilocks on January 20, 2009 at 9:02 PM
Our corrupt politician did what theirs could not.
Disturb the Universe on January 20, 2009 at 9:02 PM
Did I hear Obama say at the neighborhood inaugural ball that “If you think about the word neighborhood, it begins with the word neighbor?”
V15J on January 20, 2009 at 9:03 PM
Who wants to break it to them?
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2008/08/20/2008-08-20_barack_obamas_povertystricken_halfbrothe.html
gumble on January 20, 2009 at 9:03 PM
It won’t last. I frequent some Kenya boards and the tribalism is as thick as ever.
baldilocks on January 20, 2009 at 9:04 PM
Fake News,from BendOver BackWards News(BBN).
——————————————–
In a stunning move,on President Obama’s first day in office,
he has issued a’Meals on Wheels’ humanitarian mission!
With supply ships,and three Air-craft carriers,heading to
Kenya,for distribution!
With Barney’Banking Queen’Franks as the only opposition,
part of the gizzilion dollar bailout will be put to good
use,as well as futher bailout dollars will be put into
Kenya banks,for their own spending,as they see fit!!
And,when the Kenyan mission is fullfilled,the fleet will
bomb Puck-is-stan into submission,and then deliver small
boats to Somolia,as there seems to be a shortage!!!!!!!
(Snark!).hehe
canopfor on January 20, 2009 at 9:06 PM
This is what Obama Zombies world looks like.
http://www.seganerds.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/20080405ponyfield.jpg
Dr Evil on January 20, 2009 at 9:09 PM
***Oh Jeeeeeeeesus….here we go***
seejanemom on January 20, 2009 at 9:10 PM
Ahem. How much have we already given Kenya and the rest of Africa for doing nothing?
NahnCee on January 20, 2009 at 9:10 PM
DID HE ACTUALLY WALK on the Reflecting Pool today before the parade, or MERELY turn it into WINE?
Reports are mixed….just wanted the facts….
seejanemom on January 20, 2009 at 9:12 PM
Someone needs to get on the horn and tell Kenya there is no butting in line, they need to get behind the car companies, banks, newspapers, land developers, cell phone companies, dental floss stringers, street sweepers and the states of NY, NJ, CA, MA and perhaps OR.
We can only print money so fast, they will just have to wait their turn.
Bishop on January 20, 2009 at 9:12 PM
This is what Obama Zombies world looks like.
Dr Evil on Jan 20,2009 at 9:09PM.
Dr Evil: Great Scott,that looked like ‘Unicorn Jones’!!
Haha.
canopfor on January 20, 2009 at 9:13 PM
Obviously, while some of you realize something don’t smell right, many of you are not enough of a political junkie to know what the GLOBAL POVERTY ACT is. Google it, it will answer all your questions and give you an idea of what the Kenyans are celebrating. They are going to essentially pocket hundreds of millions of American taxpayer dollars because Obama will give it to them. If he carries out even half of the kooky ideas he has promised, don’t expect him to serve a full term.
Bikerken on January 20, 2009 at 9:13 PM
pix plz lol
Jim Treacher on January 20, 2009 at 9:13 PM
As far as I’m concerned he should’a left last summer…
RocketmanBob on January 20, 2009 at 9:14 PM
Let’s give ‘em one MORE thing, how ’bout it?
How about we give them as many disgruntled AMERICAN AFRICANS as want to return to living in mud huts????
I’ll even pitch in for the boat fare…..
seejanemom on January 20, 2009 at 9:14 PM
Hello Kenyan People: I’m afraid you are now barking up the wrong tree. You missed your opportunity by a few short hours. Our now former President George Bush was your best ally and gave more money to your entire continent than any other president in the history of our nation. Now, you are going to have stand in line and keep the “hope” alive that one day down the road, your most favored son may come through on his promise to you. I wouldn’t hold my breath. The backpedaling is ramping up to maximum speed here.
sherry on January 20, 2009 at 9:14 PM
So is every other Obama voter.
drjohn on January 20, 2009 at 9:15 PM
Er, yes, but I was just going to say that it was the surname of someone I admired. If asked. :)
Tanya on January 20, 2009 at 9:16 PM
And you probably don’t know who the real victim was in that whole debacle! Hint: Not Palin.
Jim Treacher on January 20, 2009 at 9:16 PM
Speaking truth to power, brother.
malan89 on January 20, 2009 at 9:18 PM
Obambi’s family has been asking that very question for decades….
Hog Wild on January 20, 2009 at 9:20 PM
Wait a tick,so the catastrophic end of the world
was a way to free up cash,under the guise of a
bailout,
With No Oversight!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice,uummmm,any banks in Kenya,got done bought out!
canopfor on January 20, 2009 at 9:23 PM
Well, of course it will be us that bails out Kenya. The United Kingdom is almost flat broke.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 9:27 PM
Whatever happened to the Kenyan prince that wants me to send $3 million dollars if I wire him my bank account number?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 9:27 PM
The same people who lambasted Bush for “irresponsible spending” are going to praise Obama for spending every American tax dollar we are expecting to collect for the next 25 years giving it to other countries and crack smokin losers who wouldn’t get off their ass if they were on fire.
This ought to be interesting.
Bikerken on January 20, 2009 at 9:29 PM
Whatever happened to the Kenyan prince that wants me to send $3 million dollars if I wire him my bank account number?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 20, 2009 at 9:27 PM
Bwaaaa, too late sucker, I got there first.
I’m expecting my $5,000 checks to start arriving any day now.
Bishop on January 20, 2009 at 9:30 PM
Heh. Too late to suck up now.
Esthier on January 20, 2009 at 9:37 PM
That was nice, but if they’re looking for a little Sweet Charity, perhaps a few bars of “Hey Big Spender” is in order.
Laura in Maryland on January 20, 2009 at 9:38 PM
It’s really good when Jesus can give you the hookup, isn’t it?
Tzetzes on January 20, 2009 at 9:38 PM
“When wishes are horses, beggars will ride.” Obama has a notable historical tendency to forget/ignore all the small folks once he reaches a goal. George Bush was the best friend you folks forgot you ever had, ingrates.
marybel on January 20, 2009 at 9:39 PM
Haha. No, I really was. Like you, I try to keep my real name low key. I assumed she was doing the same, since I haven’t seen it in print for quite a while, so I figured out my wording beforehand.
It’s hard out there for a conservative chick.
Tanya on January 20, 2009 at 9:41 PM
“Ask and you will receive”
-Jesus and Barack Obama
Glenn Jericho on January 20, 2009 at 9:41 PM
Hey be real after two terms being President and giving everyone a job, and all of God’s chillun having a luxury, hybrid SUV, and a 10,000 square foot homes here, and bringing peace to the planet and making everyone love each other he can leave and be supreme ruler of Indonesia.
Jdripper on January 20, 2009 at 9:41 PM
Hot Air and posters like you, Bishop, will be the reason I stay sane the next 1460 days.
Dubn8tr on January 20, 2009 at 9:44 PM
all these blacks think that now they have a “brotha” in the white house, they are entitled to yet another government handout. when does it end?
Seven Seas on January 20, 2009 at 9:45 PM
Nope, like a good little politician, he lied. Like a good Democrat he said something that made them feel good, with little in the way of results.
Tim Burton on January 20, 2009 at 9:46 PM
Don’t the Keynans know there’s no oil in Kenya? Why would us evil Americans do anything for them… they don’t have oil!!!!
VolMagic on January 20, 2009 at 9:49 PM
They Kenyans better act fast before the Golden Goose stops laying altogether and the Chinese put a lien on the USA.
U.S. stocks post worst inauguration day drop ever!
‘Effectively Insolvent’
U.S. financial losses from the credit crisis may reach $3.6 trillion, according to New York University Professor Nouriel Roubini, who predicted last year’s economic and stock-market meltdowns.
“If that’s true, it means the U.S. banking system is effectively insolvent because it starts with a capital of $1.4 trillion,” Roubini said at a conference in Dubai today.
MB4 on January 20, 2009 at 9:50 PM
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