Video: The horrifically bad Microsoft Songsmith commercial; Update: “Runnin’ with the Devil”
posted at 3:29 pm on January 16, 2009 by Allahpundit
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They specialize in freaky-awful ads. Why should this be different?
The concept’s not horrible in principle, actually. If the software’s geared to the ‘tween demographic, which is how it looks, there are worse marketing strategies than pitching this as a sort of “High School Musical 4.” But, er … why’s there only one kid in the video, then? And what’s with Ozzie and Harriet at the end?
Exit question: That’s not really a MacBook Pro, is it? Dude.
Update: Want to hear what it does with one of David Lee Roth’s most famous vocals? Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
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Yeah, it’s not so good.
Tom_Shipley on January 16, 2009 at 3:30 PM
Wow. Major douche-chills.
BiteMyJihad on January 16, 2009 at 3:33 PM
You know what, I’m totally downloading this to make some kick ass ringtones.
Lay-Z on January 16, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Oh. My. God.
Quetzal on January 16, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Dreadfully craptacular.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 16, 2009 at 3:35 PM
WOW an Apple product?!
Why have a PowerBook/MacBook in there?!
blatantblue on January 16, 2009 at 3:35 PM
egad
kirkill on January 16, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Fixed.
thirteen28 on January 16, 2009 at 3:36 PM
Well, you can run Windows on it.
Typhoon on January 16, 2009 at 3:37 PM
Please, make it stop.
JammieWearingFool on January 16, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Dude.
justinok on January 16, 2009 at 3:40 PM
Excuse me. I have to go take a fork to my ears and eyes.
MadisonConservative on January 16, 2009 at 3:41 PM
Perhaps they could have put the funds that went towards producing this abortion, into fixing their crappy software.
Just a suggestion.
NoDonkey on January 16, 2009 at 3:41 PM
Oh laudie… my brain is melting
BoomJunkie on January 16, 2009 at 3:42 PM
Hahahaha! This actually cracks my shittake mushroom caps up.
Legen. Wait for it.
Abby Adams on January 16, 2009 at 3:44 PM
I had to watch Tay Zonday’s latest “Freeloader Nation” to get that out of my head.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 16, 2009 at 3:45 PM
I’m speechless — what the hell was that?!?
Richard Romano on January 16, 2009 at 3:46 PM
I’m pretty sure Eric Holder would put forced watching of that commercial somewhere between Waterboarding and Branding With Hot Irons on the Torture Scale.
gridlock2 on January 16, 2009 at 3:46 PM
Two words: ‘Nilla Hail
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 16, 2009 at 3:46 PM
Dary. (You knew it was coming.)
Abby Adams on January 16, 2009 at 3:47 PM
So we can’t waterboard terrorists but that monstrosity can be distributed on the internet? My ears were bleeding after the first minute.
amerpundit on January 16, 2009 at 3:52 PM
Self immolation much?
Valiant on January 16, 2009 at 3:54 PM
Quote from Gizmodo:
Indeed.
amerpundit on January 16, 2009 at 3:54 PM
And lo, from the pit of my stomach,
doth issue forth yesterday’s breakfast!
pilamaye on January 16, 2009 at 3:55 PM
You know, it’s times liek these that I am GLAD that YouTube (and most of the other multimedia sites) is blocked by my work internet filter.
While I CAN get around it rather easily, judging by the comments here I think I’ll refrain in this particular instance.
wearyman on January 16, 2009 at 3:57 PM
This is so bad that I think it might be that way on purpose. I mean, it’s definitely destined for viral video fame. And when it comes to advertising, the more people that see it the better…
Tom_Shipley on January 16, 2009 at 4:03 PM
The software is actually pretty badass.
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 4:18 PM
Wow, was only able to make it a quarter of the way through. Even so, this ad is better than their software. Hey, its Microsoft, what do you expect?
Maxx on January 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM
Corny? Yes, but I think it will will appeal to people.
I wonder if Paul MacCartny does it this way.
TheSitRep on January 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM
I carefully managed our group’s budget so this could be funded…
DarkCurrent on January 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM
The cool Apple hipster/dumpy PC guy commercials are beginning to make sense now.
SailorDave on January 16, 2009 at 4:24 PM
“I move away from the microphone so Songsmith doesn’t record my breathing”
econavenger on January 16, 2009 at 4:33 PM
So impossibly awful I have to wonder whether it isn’t corporate sabotage. Could those rascally hipsters at Apple be behind this?
Follow the MacBook Pro.
Infidoll on January 16, 2009 at 4:33 PM
So…that was like…the Pat Boone Songsmith right? The full length version has the Tom Waits Songsmith right?
BL@KBIRD on January 16, 2009 at 4:41 PM
Wow.. that’s…uh…pretty depressing. Wrist-slittingly good.
CynicalOptimist on January 16, 2009 at 4:41 PM
Coulda used a bit more cowbell.
chriscoolc on January 16, 2009 at 4:41 PM
I wonder if Paul MacCartny does it this way.
That’s below the belt.
Tom_Shipley on January 16, 2009 at 4:52 PM
I don’t really thing that guy is the father type. Not believable.
rogersnowden on January 16, 2009 at 4:54 PM
I’d dump on Microsoft, but Microsoft beat me to it.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 4:54 PM
I’ll stick with my own choice of music, thankyouverymuch.
Currently playing: “Disco Suicide” by Brand X.
NeighborhoodCatLady on January 16, 2009 at 4:58 PM
When Songsmith can automatically mash together The Beatles pure pop sensibilities with Van Halen’s heavy hooks can it be a viable product.
ScottMcC on January 16, 2009 at 5:02 PM
For those whose ears aren’t bleeding enough yet:
Runnin’ with the Songsmith
(David Lee Roth’s vocal, processed through Songsmith)
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 5:04 PM
Bring back the Seinfeld ads – they were shorter. And yes, that is poorly disguised MacBook Pro. And all the other guys in the IT department want to know why I almost never use M$ products….
Geez, WiiMusic meets GarageBand. Will the Rock Band and Guitar Hero controllers work with this too? They ought to package this for the 360 instead.
They really ought to add this ad to the torture rotation list.
esperpento on January 16, 2009 at 5:15 PM
You’re welcome, AP.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 5:18 PM
Draw and quarter me and start with my balls!
sabbott on January 16, 2009 at 5:21 PM
Marty and Bobbi Culp, justified.
The Ugly American on January 16, 2009 at 5:27 PM
esperpento on January 16, 2009 at 5:15 PM
You have no idea what Songsmith is, do you?
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 5:28 PM
The silver Dell Inspiration laptops look a lot like a MacBook Pro (we’ve got a MacBook Pro at the office, and when I’ve been using it on the road I’ve noticed other people I think are using Macs, only on closer look to find out their laptop’s from Round Rock instead of Cupertino).
As far as the ad goes, at least you can say whatever agency did this is getting some of their money back from Microsoft for all the overpriced software they’ve no doubt had to buy from them over the years.
jon1979 on January 16, 2009 at 5:35 PM
I’ve never heard anyone do anything in Garage Band that I’ve liked. The fact that this particular example of really bad music was done in front of yet another Mac makes it par for the course.
unclesmrgol on January 16, 2009 at 5:38 PM
Duh. Musical accompaniment to match a singer’s voice using an assortment of differing styles. The point is that the technology looks neat and, in an unusual step for Mafiasoft, intuitive, but the ad does nothing to induce you to use the application. Clearly, MS is trying to tap into some of the creative outlets people have as manifested by some of the software I mentioned above. I don’t think that they delivered the content in the right way to the right audience. It might be for the ‘tweens, but daddy doing the jingle in the office…. groan in pain.
esperpento on January 16, 2009 at 5:41 PM
Jon1979:
“The silver Dell Inspiration laptops look a lot like a MacBook Pro (we’ve got a MacBook Pro at the office, and when I’ve been using it on the road I’ve noticed other people I think are using Macs, only on closer look to find out their laptop’s from Round Rock instead of Cupertino).” True, very similar but the dell’s have air slot in on the bottom, right of the case that macBooks don’t and I don’t see those grills/vents on the notebook in the ad.
unclesmrgol
“I’ve never heard anyone do anything in Garage Band that I’ve liked.” Agreed.
esperpento on January 16, 2009 at 5:45 PM
Heh. You’re blaming this on Apple? When the software is pure Microsoft, and doesn’t even run on the Mac OS? Either you’re an utterly clueless moron, or . . . Actually, that’s the only choice.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 5:46 PM
“Microsoft, huh? So it’s pretty easy to use?”
That guy totally deadpanned it. Awesome.
OneGyT on January 16, 2009 at 5:49 PM
The ad is horrible, but the software is pretty cool… it is being marketed as a creative outlet for the masses, as you say, but in fact its written by and for musicians. It is very useful as a scratchpad tool to quickly and easily laydown melodies and then tinker with the chord progressions before finally exporting the MIDI to a high-end sequencing program like Ableton or something.
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 5:50 PM
I have no dog in this hunt. I detest them both equally. And note, I’m not saying anything about the Macintosh itself — I’ve used the slings and arrows upon the vocals of the Mac users themselves
You, of course, are welcome to disabase me of my notions by posting a link to something you’ve done on a Mac that actually sounds good. You have 60 seconds.
unclesmrgol on January 16, 2009 at 5:52 PM
Too late. Times’ up.
unclesmrgol on January 16, 2009 at 5:54 PM
Just curious — do you know how it works? (serious un-snarky question) In general, with songwriting, the chord progression comes first, then the melody to fit. Songsmith seems to reverse that process. If a person comes up with a melody, without any clue re: chords, it’s hard for me to imagine a decent outcome. (Of course, the definition of “decent” varies from person to person.)
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 5:55 PM
If you are unaware of how much professional audio work is done on Macs, nothing I can post will disabuse you of your ignorant notions.
(BTW, “disabase” isn’t a word. If you had a Mac, with its system-wide spellcheck, you might have noticed that.)
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 5:58 PM
All depends who’s using it and also a bit of what they are using. If you have a decent/good digidesign in between your instrument and the Mac, you can generate a nice sound.
Garage Band also has a butt load of various guitar amps built into it. Its a good program, but not for top notch recording
blatantblue on January 16, 2009 at 5:59 PM
That too. Almost all music recording with top of the line programs like Pro Tools is done on Apple products. Same with movies and Final Cut Pro.
blatantblue on January 16, 2009 at 6:00 PM
“Spellcheck” isn’t a word either, but you just used it and I understood what you meant by it. That said, are you saying that there are programs that will check the correctness of your spelling? whodathunkit?
unclesmrgol on January 16, 2009 at 6:01 PM
oh, and I’m still waiting for that vocal. Splashman? Splashman?
unclesmrgol on January 16, 2009 at 6:03 PM
I play the banjo and now I will no longer have to bow my head in shame…
serenity on January 16, 2009 at 6:05 PM
Yeah, you pick a tempo and a “genre”… the genre is used as a hint to the sorts of chord progressions that the software should generate. Additionally you can set a “happy” slider and a “jazzy” slider, to hint at the types of chords. 100% happy will give you lots along the lines of G-D-C-G etc, whereas 0% will give you lots of minor, darker chords. Jazziness results in more augmented choreds, 7ths, 9ths, etc.
You sing the melody into your mic to a beat in the tempo and time you chose (off-beat melody goes a long way toward explaining David Lee Roth, BTW). The software then will deduct key and modulations from the melody.
It’s actually pretty impressive, what they have managed to do here, but its a very early version. Hell, its still branded under the umbrella of Microsoft Research. (Then again, some really cool stuff is branded under Microsoft) Research).
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 6:05 PM
I’m downloading the demo right now so I can try it out for myself. If I could find the songs I wrote in high school (just lyrics, no tunes to them) I might try those with this program.
ScoopPC11 on January 16, 2009 at 6:05 PM
Geez, what a dick. I never claimed to be a musician. I originally commented on your ridiculous attempt to connect the Mac with Songsmith. Get a life.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Thanks for the explanation. Obviously Songsmith is just for having fun, not for doing serious creative work, but wouldn’t it still be true, though, that the average non-musician is not going to be able to pluck a melody out of thin air that will fit into any standardized chord progression, happy or not?
I can imagine, on the other hand, that if Songsmith gave me a background track, I might be able to piece together a melody that fits it. But that doesn’t seem to be what Songsmith wants the user to do.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 6:15 PM
Clearly we now know why Steve Jobs is wasting away. He sold his soul to insure Microsoft never made another good commercial.
John on January 16, 2009 at 6:20 PM
The people in that ad need to apply for bailout money because I don’t believe they will ever work again.
Jdripper on January 16, 2009 at 6:21 PM
It doesn’t have to fit into a “standardized chord progression”. It’s just that in order to sound “good”, it has to be in something resembling a key, within the contraints of the tempo/time signature, etc. In other words, you need a given measure to be consistently in a key, for example. If you change keys, the generated chords will likely follow suit, which might sound crappy… if you are wanting to use some weird modes, you would have to go in and edit the generated chords to give you want you want.
I disagree, though, that it can’t be used for serious creative work. It’s useful for getting a rough song structure in place, tweaking/playing with particular chords, etc., and then you can export MIDI to some high-end sequencing software to do better instrumentation, or re-record vocals, or play instruments yourself, or whatever.
Its very, very useful as a sandbox or scratchpad.
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 6:36 PM
Any rational person would think so, but if true how do you explain this?
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 6:36 PM
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 6:36 PM
You have better internal videos where you work? I think it’s hilarious.
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 6:43 PM
Thanks again for the explanations. You’re welcome to your opinion re: serious creative work, but I’ll stick with mine, thanks. I see Songsmith as good family fun, with the same effect on the musical culture as the advent of desktop publishing on the design world. To wit, it will allow a lot more people entry into the world of writing/recording music, will increase the number of talented songwriters by approx. 0.3%, and will increase the number of people who think they’re talented songwriters by approx. seven orders of magnitude.
Perhaps that sounds condescending, but tools are a teensy part of an artist’s ability. Always have been, always will be. As the folks at Pixar say, their computers are big, dumb, expensive pencils.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 6:49 PM
Um . . .
No comment.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 6:50 PM
Sure… I think you’re mixing two concepts here.
1) I agree with the entire first paragraph of what you said.
But that doesn’t change…
2) It has some very useful function as a tool for more serious, talented musicians. If for not other use than what the songsmith website itself says:
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 6:53 PM
Cartoon mythology asserts that every soul in heaven will be issued a Mac, but is there now any lingering doubt that every tone-deaf soul in hell will be issued a license to Microsoft’s Songsmith?
My collie says:
CyberCipher on January 16, 2009 at 6:57 PM
Okay, we’re in agreement on both points, then.
Thanks for the civil discourse.
Splashman on January 16, 2009 at 7:01 PM
;-)
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 7:04 PM
What is happening to me? There is a saying coined by sales that the real serious product R&D is done by the customers in the form of feedback and problem reporting. In the case of Microsoft applying this soft logic and disseminating their goods (well after beta testing) I’d say it is best described as Microsoft prematurely ejaculating product to pleasure the stockholders.
I love Office 2003 and loath 2007. I love the dev apps and loath the OSs they support. I want to dump my shares of Microsoft stock. I want to delete MSNBC from my channel line-up. This new product is, and MS hates this description, this new product is a toy.
ericdijon on January 16, 2009 at 7:24 PM
From the Runnin’ With The Songsmith comments:
jgapinoy on January 16, 2009 at 7:30 PM
I second that motion!
I had been a M$ user since the days of old, and with the release of ME then Vista, I turned to linux…some of you may enjoy it, check it out! No spyware, malware, viruses, etc. It’s quite fast, needs little processing power ( but the more the better), and it is FREE (as in free beer)!
But AP, that link to the DLR dub cracked me up so hard I snarfed my worthy Heineken onto my laptop keyboard…who do I send the bill to??? lol
lsutiger on January 16, 2009 at 8:15 PM
Damn you, AP!
I would damn you to Hell, but my personal damning will have to suffice.
Damn you.
catmman on January 16, 2009 at 8:19 PM
I’d be curious to see what the David Lee Roth vocal track produces when run through songsmith, but on beat.
DaveS on January 16, 2009 at 8:33 PM
Ah, the time honored debating ploy of comparing your opponent to a piece of anatomy you don’t have. Good try.
unclesmrgol on January 16, 2009 at 8:45 PM
Haha.
Tanya on January 16, 2009 at 9:15 PM
Sounds like a neat piece of software.
Asher on January 16, 2009 at 10:14 PM
This could end the war on terror.
They should force terrorists to watch this on replay. They’ll be begging for waterboarding.
TechieNotTrekkie on January 16, 2009 at 10:49 PM
Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!?!?!
Paging CodePink!!! Allahpundit is engaging in torture to HA loyalists…dammit…
Wanderlust on January 17, 2009 at 1:07 AM
1. This commercial is teh ghey so of course use a MacBook.
2. This product is just what little girls want and all mac users are little girls.
3. (real reason) This product is something developed (and I think more will be coming down the pipe) to win over Mac Users. The MacBook in the commercial is a subliminal hook.
- The Cat
MirCat on January 17, 2009 at 4:45 AM
“And some producer with computers.. fixes all my sh:)tty tracks…”
Reaps on January 17, 2009 at 8:05 AM
This just in:
North Korean freighter on way to Iran stopped in Indian Ocean with 2 copies of SongWriter discovered in Captain’s lavatory.
Shivers!
Shy Guy on January 18, 2009 at 7:02 AM
Just clicked on the Update link… um… wow…
Who could believe such a seemingly harmless bit of software could go so badly awry. It’s like Agent Smith.
Gaunilon on January 18, 2009 at 7:19 PM
Too bad it’s not rated R for Retarded, cause it sure is.
bryan2369 on January 18, 2009 at 9:47 PM
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