Kittens of the sea?
posted at 8:40 am on January 9, 2009 by Ed Morrissey
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When you think cute, playful, and snuggly in animals, the logical choice of pet is … trout? That’s what PETA thinks, anyway, in its new campaign to propagandize children into avoiding meat. They now want to call fish “sea kittens”, because then no one would ever think of eating a kitten — right? It’s almost good enough to be an Onion parody:
People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.
Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?
I actually like fish. Broiled, fried, even grilled on a cedar plank, they make for tasty eating. Changing the name to “sea kittens” won’t make them any less tasty, or for that matter, any less slithery and slimy, either. It might give people a few ideas about land kittens that PETA may not like, however.
Britney Spears doesn’t get the worst of it, however:
A University of Edinburgh study found that sea kittens can retain information that they learned up to 11 months earlier, which makes them cuter and smarter than the president of the United States!
But not smarter than PETA activists who come up with silly euphemisms like “sea kittens”. And which POTUS do they mean? If this is still up on January 21st, I’m prepared to officially call PETA a racist organization, following the 2008 presidential campaign rules! (via Doug Ross)
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Wouldn’t that make them catfish?
andycanuck on January 9, 2009 at 8:42 AM
…when they grow up?
andycanuck on January 9, 2009 at 8:43 AM
Sea kittens wrapped in a NYT Sunday.
Coronagold on January 9, 2009 at 8:43 AM
Ed Morrissey likes to eat
seakittens……ROTFLMAO…. Serve me up some of them kittens Ed… ;)doriangrey on January 9, 2009 at 8:44 AM
I love catfish….for lunch.
Bigfoot on January 9, 2009 at 8:44 AM
Nutritionists have known for years that seafood is a source of top-quality protein.
Ordinary1 on January 9, 2009 at 8:46 AM
The only problem I see is that they will really stink when PETA employees dump the cute little sea kittens in a dumpster.
jmarcure on January 9, 2009 at 8:46 AM
Throw another sea kitten on the barby!
Ordinary1 on January 9, 2009 at 8:47 AM
PETA, the people who steal dogs and kill them. The next predator drone needs to find them.
And if PETA’s really concerned about “sea kittens” then they should go jump into shark-kitty infested waters so that shark-kitties don’t have to eat other sea-kitties.
rbj on January 9, 2009 at 8:47 AM
“What’s the best tuna? Kittens of the sea…”
Ordinary1 on January 9, 2009 at 8:48 AM
Why doesn’t PETA care about the senseless slaughter millions of defenseless plants, fruits, and vegetables every year?
JetBoy on January 9, 2009 at 8:48 AM
Kittens are good. They taste like chicken.
loudmouth883 on January 9, 2009 at 8:48 AM
here kitty kitty kitty
trailortrash on January 9, 2009 at 8:49 AM
Because the militant vegans would burn their headquarters to the ground if they did.
doriangrey on January 9, 2009 at 8:49 AM
Could give a whole new meaning to sea dog.
OldEnglish on January 9, 2009 at 8:49 AM
PETA isn’t going to like me, since I like to catch “Sea Kittens”, particularly of the largemouth bass kind.
I wonder how they feel about the eradication of Texas Ciclids in New Orleans City Park. The park encourages you to catch as many as possible and not to throw them back in the lagoons to control populations. They destroy habitats for Bluegill, which affects Bass populations.
Lay-Z on January 9, 2009 at 8:52 AM
Peta promotes torturing sea kittens….look at the mean little girl on the website holding the poor creature as it struggles to get back into the water.
surrounded on January 9, 2009 at 8:52 AM
Whats wrong with sea-pussy?
And Ed in these times of Animal farm, The onion no longer is the parody.
the_nile on January 9, 2009 at 8:54 AM
Those are fighting words. I won’t have any foreigner talking about Obama that way.
Tommy_G on January 9, 2009 at 8:55 AM
Charlie the Tuna
Oh don’t be silly, that’s old hat. His name is Tabby the Tuna now.
Jeff on January 9, 2009 at 8:57 AM
No doubt. I don’t get them…Whether you believe in creationism or purely secular evolution, humans have those 2 canine teeth for a reason.
(PS: Haven’t seen you in a while, glad yer back!)
JetBoy on January 9, 2009 at 8:57 AM
Two or three of them woven together make nice bathroom rugs. Kittens, that is…
BacaDog on January 9, 2009 at 9:00 AM
This would be a great time to find site making general reference bashing the president and then on the 21st call them out in a list calling them unloyal and hatemongers. It would be a funny little prank, and could get you a lot of traffic.
profgubler on January 9, 2009 at 9:00 AM
Ewww, my cats are cannibals. I guess that means Ray can eat himself for lunch today. He wont be pleased.
sammypants on January 9, 2009 at 9:01 AM
PETA
People
Eating
Tasty
Animals
Where do I sign up?
Everytime I read or see anything about PETA, I go out and buy Veal to make either Parmesan or Francais. I think of the tender meat of those wonderful calves that have been immobilized their entire life, just so I can enjoy them. So here’s to ya, PETA, I’ll be having Veal today yet again, thinking of Pamela Anderson in her Ugg boots(Sheepskin, ya dumb skank)and her Baywatch one piece…………
adamsmith on January 9, 2009 at 9:01 AM
i kan haz sea kittehs!
Mr. Bingley on January 9, 2009 at 9:04 AM
In college I worked in a seafood restaurant that stocked its clam chowder with poultry to save money. We were told that chicken should be considered a “land clam.”
Cicero43 on January 9, 2009 at 9:05 AM
Jesus ate “sea kittens.”
That’s good enough for me.
AZCoyote on January 9, 2009 at 9:05 AM
Cute, PETArds. Too cute by half.
ZK on January 9, 2009 at 9:06 AM
We have a cat who, when he passes away, I’m going to eat with peppers and onions. He’s so plump. I can’t wait.
madmonkphotog on January 9, 2009 at 9:09 AM
I always thought that trout tastes a bit like kitten.
BohicaTwentyTwo on January 9, 2009 at 9:09 AM
Now THAT’S comedy.
madmonkphotog on January 9, 2009 at 9:10 AM
“Give a man a
fishsea kitten; you have fed him for today. Teach a man tofishsea kittens; and you have fed him for a lifetime”Just in.
the_nile on January 9, 2009 at 9:13 AM
Next thing you know, the depopulation crowd will be talking trouser snakes.
shaken on January 9, 2009 at 9:13 AM
Tell you what, when PETA dorkwads show me that they can pet the friendly ‘Great White Sea Kittens’ while swimming in the waters off of Seal Island, South Africa, then I’ll believe them.
PETA has got to have the biggest morons in the nation working for them….after the DFL of course.
Bishop on January 9, 2009 at 9:13 AM
I just had a thought, on their site they want you to email your congresspeople to get the Fish and Wildlife service to stop promoting fishing. They claim that fish feel pain when they bite on a hook and its inhumane.
The fishing industry takes in billions a year. Millions of Americans take on the hobby weather it’s freshwater or saltwater. Lord knows I’ve spent a good amount of my income on tackle and equipment. Fishing also brings in millions of dollars of revenue to many states in the form of tourism money and licensing fees.
If bass can feel pain in it’s mouth, why is it that they enjoy the taste of spiny, hardshelled crawfish? In fact, live crawfish is an effective bait for catching lunker bass. Wouldn’t the sharp edges be painful as the fish uses its mouth to crush the crustacean before it swallows?
Anglers, both fresh and saltwater are conversationalists. The Bass Anglers Sportsmen Society and Coastal Conservation Association are major organizations for freshwater and saltwater anglers respectively. They promote taking care of waters and habitats so that future generations have a place to fish without all the liberal hippie BS.
This isn’t about saving the fish, it’s another socialist ploy to bring down a legitimate industry and a hobby that millions of Americans enjoy.
Screw them, I’m gonna keep fishing.
Lay-Z on January 9, 2009 at 9:13 AM
Sea kittens? I guess PETA doesn’t care about the poor fish that live in lakes and rivers. Eat those to your heart’s content.
Kafir on January 9, 2009 at 9:14 AM
i just go into work and now I’m ROTFLMAO!
re: Jesus ate “sea kittens.”
Come with me and I shall make you a kittener of men!
max1 on January 9, 2009 at 9:14 AM
Not fer nothing, but don’t cats eat fish and meat? And fish…they eat other fish.
So PETA believes it’s OK for animals to eat other animals, but humans should stick to greenery?
JetBoy on January 9, 2009 at 9:17 AM
How good would a PETA member taste?
They ingest all sorts of healthy foods.
Then tenderize the meat by smoking copious amounts of our sister, the cannabis plant.
Caramelize some onions and garlic in a little olive oil, hack off a healthy slab of PETA meat and voila!
Bon appetit!
NoDonkey on January 9, 2009 at 9:21 AM
I wonder how many of these idiots at PETA describe themselves as “Brights”.
Buy Danish on January 9, 2009 at 9:22 AM
I have a solution to the entire debacle…
Eat PETA members.
Nethicus on January 9, 2009 at 9:23 AM
This cat lover plaintively asks: Why kittens? Just like we already have catfish, there is also a dogfish. Why not make those obnoxious little dogs the butt of the jokes?
My neighbor has a miniature Chihuahua (if you can imagine). I can’t look at this abomination of nature without seeing the words “stir fry” written all over it. A little gingerroot, garlic and oyster sauce –mmmmmmm!
And there’s already a video to this effect: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak0_fa1DDpc
brushman on January 9, 2009 at 9:23 AM
Just trying to out do that other blogger with the puppy blender, right?
MamaAJ on January 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM
What will the Catholics eat on Friday?
BoomJunkie on January 9, 2009 at 9:25 AM
If PETA went after vegans then…
Carrot Juice is Mulder by the Arrogant Worms
Listen up brothers and sisters,
come hear my desperate tale.
I speak of our friends of nature,
trapped in the dirt like a jail.
Vegetables live in oppression,
served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness,
I say we take up the fight.
Salads are only for murderers,
coleslaw’s a fascist regime.
Don’t think that they don’t have feelings,
just cause a radish can’t scream.
Chorus:
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that’s a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It’s time to stop all this gardening (it’s dirty as hell)
Let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
I saw a man eating celery,
so I beat him black and blue.
If he ever touches a sprout again,
I’ll bite him clean in two.
I’m a political prisoner,
trapped in a windowless cage.
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me,
This is my finest hour,
I’d kill those farmers again
just to save one more cauliflower
Chorus
How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, don’t mash that potato!
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stirfry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gormet slob)
How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8’s genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It’s time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
Let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade…..
El Coqui on January 9, 2009 at 9:27 AM
I think you mean “Conservationists,” but you’re right either way.
cs89 on January 9, 2009 at 9:27 AM
I would like to hear what Jessica Simpson’s take on this situation is – could be enlightening.
sherry on January 9, 2009 at 9:28 AM
As I recall, PETA (better known as PITA) also claimed that lobsters were sentient beings.
MrLynn on January 9, 2009 at 9:29 AM
I am unable to see any downside to this.
Vic on January 9, 2009 at 9:29 AM
My neighbor has a miniature Chihuahua (if you can imagine). I can’t look at this abomination of nature without seeing the words “stir fry” written all over it. A little gingerroot, garlic and oyster sauce –mmmmmmm!
The Aztecs used to raise Chihuahuas as a food stock; fattened, castrated and rendered barkless (how, I don’t know). They were sold at market like chickens.
Go, eat and be happy.
Bishop on January 9, 2009 at 9:31 AM
Anglers, both fresh and saltwater are conversationalists.
Lay-Z on January 9, 2009 at 9:13 AM
Yes….hahahahahahah….I suppose they are.
“Got any bites yet, Lloyd?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither.”
“Hmmm.”
Bishop on January 9, 2009 at 9:33 AM
As a cat, I have to take offense.
Fish are not our friends.
Fish are *FOOD*!
Mew
acat on January 9, 2009 at 9:34 AM
Charlie the TunaOh don’t be silly, that’s old hat. His name is Tabby the Tuna now.
Jeff on January 9, 2009 at 8:57 AM
Charlie the Tuna voted for Goldwater and Reagan.
BuckeyeSam on January 9, 2009 at 9:36 AM
Every time one of these type of stories comes out next time I shop I get veal.
exception on January 9, 2009 at 9:39 AM
PETA fails, buncha fascist pricks.
Dr. Manhattan on January 9, 2009 at 9:42 AM
BuckeyeSam on January 9, 2009 at 9:36 AM
Then he should be exempt, he should be fair game.
OK how about Fluffy the Flounder.
Jeff on January 9, 2009 at 9:43 AM
Just when you think PETA has reached the limits of their stupidity.
Everybody sing along:
What”s the Best Tuna?
ChickensKittens of the Sea!kingsjester on January 9, 2009 at 9:44 AM
Raquel Welch: “Would you like to pet my sea kitten?”
Johnny Carson: “…
crash72 on January 9, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Why isn’t there a class action suit against psychiatrists for dereliction of duty?
OldEnglish on January 9, 2009 at 9:47 AM
Matthew 17:27. The words of Jesus. Emphasis mine:
Jesus is talking about paying taxes here, but He obviously didn’t object to catching fish with a hook!
Ordinary1 on January 9, 2009 at 9:50 AM
I would like to lay my head on Jessica Simpson’s lap while she peels shrimp (hard-shelled sea kitties) and drops them in my mouth.
whitetop on January 9, 2009 at 9:51 AM
I have a friend who quit eating meat after watching the movie, “Babe.” I was afraid to show her a Veggie Tales video for fear she would starve!
Ordinary1 on January 9, 2009 at 9:51 AM
This really isn’t a new campaign, it’s been around for months. Upinak and I joked about it either last month or in Nov. Here’s a link about it being reported back in October.
In any case, it’s not a very smart idea… especially given that PeTA doesn’t have a very good track record with land kittens in the first place. I know of a few vegetarians, ones that eat fish for the nutrients, that are not stoked about this campaign. With all the money they have, PeTA should hire some new ad people.
Anna on January 9, 2009 at 9:56 AM
Does nancy Pelosi know about this??? OMG, you know they, like, you know, own a lot of, you know, Starkist stock, and(sorry, can’t get off the Caroline post)…boy, wait until she finds out, she will single flippered smack these jokers around and change all of their rules.
clinker46 on January 9, 2009 at 10:04 AM
As one comedian said (attribution, dammit):
NeighborhoodCatLady on January 9, 2009 at 10:06 AM
Fixed that…
I have been writing my congressman for years complaining about the bland taste of tuna ever since they placed new restrictions on not catching dolphin with the tuna. I miss that little “kick” the dolphin meat gave the tuna.
So I guess PETA won’t be asking me to join?
PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals)
right2bright on January 9, 2009 at 10:09 AM
Sea Kittens and chips… sounds good.
Maxx on January 9, 2009 at 10:11 AM
How many PETA members would have survived the Donner party?…you can bet all of them, for the betterment of mankind they would have kept themselves alive…
right2bright on January 9, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Doh, damn you Firefox spellcheck!
Lay-Z on January 9, 2009 at 10:13 AM
The Aztecs used to raise Chihuahuas as a food stock; fattened, castrated and rendered barkless (how, I don’t know). They were sold at market like chickens.
Go, eat and be happy.
Bishop on January 9, 2009 at 9:31 AM
I would no more consider a chihuahua food than I consider it a dog. It’s more like an animated bracelet charm that poops.
SKYFOX on January 9, 2009 at 10:13 AM
In a related story, the leaders of Hamas, Hezbollah, al-Qaeda and the Taliban are seeking to replace the word “terrorist”. On their website they ask the question “Would people think twice about opposing the world domination of radical Islam and the murder of Jews, Christians and other infidels if our noble jihadis were called sand kittens?”
RhymesWithRight on January 9, 2009 at 10:16 AM
Ed,
This may be the tipping point for your neighbors on WI to go ahead and issue hunting licenses for feral cats. Tell them alcoholics in WI that cats taste like walleye and that state will be cleaned out. ;)
burnitup on January 9, 2009 at 10:16 AM
+1
Just think of all of those baby carrots!
Count to 10 on January 9, 2009 at 10:16 AM
Pass the tartar sauce.
steveegg on January 9, 2009 at 10:19 AM
Think of the billions of insects massacred in order to grow vegetables to feed those evil vegetarians. It’s a holocaust!
BDavis on January 9, 2009 at 10:19 AM
Does this mean that we have to remove those little metallic fish off of our cars and replace them with kittens?
My collie says:
Collie, thou shalt not tempt thy master.
CyberCipher on January 9, 2009 at 10:20 AM
You obviously know nothing of the land of ice cream and ice-brewed beer. It’s the Gorons in Madistan that love the feral cats.
Besides, we’ve never elected a rassler as governor nor had a hack “comedian” steal a Senate seat.
steveegg on January 9, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Milk is the only food I can think of that doesn’t involve killing something (directly).
If I remember correctly, PETA is against that, too.
Count to 10 on January 9, 2009 at 10:24 AM
I love sea kittens. They are very tasty. Soon as my cat has her kittens. I will have fresh home grown kittens! yummy yummy yummy! :) purrrrrrrrr
sheebe on January 9, 2009 at 10:34 AM
I’m waiting for the PETA people to start eating air in order to sustain their lives. Wouldn’t be long before we won’t be hearing from them again.
GarandFan on January 9, 2009 at 10:35 AM
Would that mean that cats, who just LOVE eating fish, would be considered cannibals?
hawksruleva on January 9, 2009 at 10:39 AM
Sea Kittens? Yummy!
Mr. Joe on January 9, 2009 at 10:43 AM
We need PETA because when “The Road” like endtimes come, we will eat them. They will taste better, not have guns to defend themselves and will be naturally slower due to a lack of protein in their diets.
Mr. Joe on January 9, 2009 at 10:45 AM
Italian saying about why Romans feed the stray cats:
During the war (ww2), the cats fed us, now we feed the cats.
So, when you are hungry, cats can be quite tasty.
Blake on January 9, 2009 at 11:06 AM
You know what goes well with sea kittens? …. Hush Puppies!
alathia on January 9, 2009 at 11:21 AM
Funny, sea kittens smell like fish.
Did I ever tell you guys about my patend for the “Cat Chipper(tm)”?
Immolate on January 9, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Great Chow have discount sale on Chicken
MeChow Mein. Five Dolla Whole Basket!Please excuse my crudeness.
BKennedy on January 9, 2009 at 11:29 AM
Did this work for hot dogs? IDIOTS…I love me some sea kittens..
ihasurnominashun on January 9, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Excellent point….I love hush puppies and sea kittens. Unity rules!
ihasurnominashun on January 9, 2009 at 11:33 AM
Well, down here in Texas you can probably get sea kitten and sea puppy tacos at many of these portable taco stands.
Johan Klaus on January 9, 2009 at 11:33 AM
All right. Who’s gonna host the first Donner party?
either orr on January 9, 2009 at 11:38 AM
Yum… Sea Kittens taste GOOD!
upinak on January 9, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Maybe this will get the PETA people serious about illegal immigration.
No fish head eaters on our shores. This means you, Chang and Paco.
NoDonkey on January 9, 2009 at 11:50 AM
We know this campaign won’t work in Britain. They are EATING SQUIRRELS there.
Of course, they are only eating the invasive squirrels, not the native ones. That’s gotta have the PETA people all tied-up in knots!
wearyman on January 9, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Gives “eating pussy” a whole new meaning.
DethMetalCookieMonst on January 9, 2009 at 12:12 PM
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