I’m sorry, but I still disagree. I can understand the father telling his children that she and he no longer wanted the same things and that she wanted to be with other people, but I don’t think he should tell their children that their mother’s a slut.

Anything he can say to explain the situation only trashes their mother, and that’s not the best way to have a good relationship with your children anyway.

If she really is as selfish as you say, the kids will figure it out on their own and not as the result of a divorce or bad mouthing by their father.

Wrong answer. She was with another man while she was married not after. She broke up the marriage, not him. This all happened during the marriage, and came as a total shock to my brother. He was crushed for a year or more, and still isn’t back to normal, though he is now much better off.

Also, I didn’t say he badmouthed her or told them she was slut: you read that in. He told them what happened, their mother gave her stated reason, and (later) they asked them who they wanted to stay with as primary custody. My nephew is sharp and knows what went down, but my niece was more the “momma’s baby”. She eventually found out on her own, after 6 months of little maternal supervision that got so bad my 13 year old niece wanted to leave and come back to my brother. He still has an open “see each other whenever” policy. He doesn’t deny them access or time with each other: she doesn’t use it, pays NO support, and plays favorites with them. He’s beginning to seek support now.

This is a woman who, when she found out my brother’s new girlfriend got my niece a makeover, went out and got herself a makeover to look better than her daughter. You’d expect the mother to buy something better to trump the girlfriend’s gift, not buy something better to trump the daughter.

You can face sanctions on child custody for badmouthing the other parent. She cheated and broke up the marriage: Fact. “She’s a slut”: opinion. Say this with me now: he isn’t trashing her: her own actions trashed her. But Mommy should stay stainless, Daddy will cry to himself every night in silence, and all it takes is the kids to remain clueless.

You want the fact concealed, and mesh it with an unfounded opinion to get that accomplished.

The best relationship to have with your children is to teach them the value of the truth, not spare them reality and spin a lie that will only hurt more once discovered. This ain’t Santa were talking about. This is an event that may effect their lives forever.

I heard your argument about keeping infidelity hush-hush from the kids before: from cheaters.

Religious_Zealot on January 9, 2009 at 10:29 AM

A $20.00 Bouquet of Flowers is a gift, A new T.V. Set is a gift, I think you fail to comprehend the magnitude of the level of sacrifice this guy made. This was not a gift, it was the ability to continue sustaining an existance on this planet. I would suggest that maybe eternal gratfulness and obedience is pushing it, but to simply not be a cheating dirty,rotten, filthy, flea ridden, skanky whore would have been the least she could do.

Religious_Zealot on January 9, 2009 at 10:29 AM

The Children, The House, The Standard of Living, The Love he had for her, He wanted to keep her in his life and she threw that all away when she decided to take an “Organ Donation” from her Physical trainer. She cheated on him, took his Kids, Will Probably get Custoday, Will Keep the House, Probably a Car or two, and an Absurd Amount of Child Support and in the process Destroyed this mans heart and his Family……. On Second Thought you may have a point not much diiferentiates her from a prostitue

Without him…… She Dies, I beg to differ.

Joey1974 on January 9, 2009 at 9:43 AM

A gift is still a gift – which means there is NO obligations or strings attached.

To demand it back or ask money for it is basically blackmail.

And if she were to stay with him and put up with him only because of the kidney…

…well, what differentiates her from prostitutes who stay for the money?

This neither forces the woman to be subservient to the man for the rest of her life…

Religious_Zealot on January 9, 2009 at 8:51 AM

Without him…… She Dies, I beg to differ.

Have no doubt that no matter what she did, or how much flesh he sacrificed to save her life the divorce will cost him that was never in question.

DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 10:57 PM

I find it interesting (and a bit disturbing) the need of some commenters here to make heroes or villains out of the man and woman.

My own experience with those who get divorced is that it is RARELY the case where one party is all right and the other all wrong.

The kidney was a GIFT.

This neither forces the woman to be subservient to the man for the rest of her life…

…nor forces the man to demand it back when the woman cheated.

By demanding it back the man doesn’t win “points” or show that he was the “most aggrieved” party.

It simply shows that he is not interested in actually settling the divorce and moving on and is more interested in striking back at his ex-wife.

I’m betting this doctor, like the judge threw his career away .

Regardless of who ’caused’ the split up…

…and regardless of who is the bigger idiot…

…the man is out-and-out wrong (and stupid!) to ask for the kidney (or the extra money).

I hope this incredibly petty and vindictive act costs the man when the judge issues the settlement.

Oh, and the lawyer should be disbarred for approving such a ridiculous request.

Religious_Zealot on January 8, 2009 at 8:10 PM

Have no doubt that no matter what she did, or how much flesh he sacrificed to save her life the divorce will cost him that was never in question.

…and regardless of who is the bigger idiot…

…the man is out-and-out wrong (and stupid!) to ask for the kidney (or the extra money).

I hope this incredibly petty and vindictive act costs the man when the judge issues the settlement.

Oh, and the lawyer should be disbarred for approving such a ridiculous request.

She met this guy when he was a doctor and she was training for a nurse. You have no idea how many gold diggers do this until you see it up close. She was probably trying to paint him as an uncaring bastard to get as much lucre as possible so he brings up the kidney.

That’ll work for a night.

Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 3:35 PM

There you go underestimating again.

I’ve said before that I think even in cheating both spouses share responsibility, but that’s not the same as having sole responsibility over a person’s feelings.

Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 5:15 PM

Yes, and sole responsibility over a person’s feelings is not what we’re talking about here.

Nonetheless, it is preferable to act in a way that will maintain or raise interest, as opposed to acting in a way that will lower interest.

Also, giving someone a kidney will not sufficiently raise interest, apparently.

She did it because she has bad character.

DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 5:16 PM

Also true.

I’m just helping you understand why she did what she did.

ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 4:02 PM

She did it because she has bad character.

Through his actions, the husband is responsible for his wife’s interest in him. Her later actions are her own responsibility.

ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 5:08 PM

I’m sorry, but no one is responsible for someone else’s interest.

I’ve said before that I think even in cheating both spouses share responsibility, but that’s not the same as having sole responsibility over a person’s feelings.

Through his actions, the husband is responsible for his wife’s interest in him. Her later actions are her own responsibility.

ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 5:08 PM

It takes two people to make a successful marriage. With your attitude, I can guarantee that is something you will never experience.

Through his actions, the husband is responsible for his wife’s interest in him. Her later actions are her own responsibility.

Also, just so we don’t get to crazy sexist here, you can reverse the sexes.

Your argument is that it’s a man’s fault when a woman cheats on him, and ergo, the man is responsible for the woman’s actions.

thirteen28 on January 8, 2009 at 4:46 PM

Through his actions, the husband is responsible for his wife’s interest in him. Her later actions are her own responsibility.

So, what, does this mean it’s Hillary’s fault Bill chased everything with a skirt, sexually harassing his own workers in the process?

Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 4:48 PM

Yup, the non-rolling pin wielding enabler!

- The Cat

No. I have not said anything of the sort.

ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 4:43 PM

You are acting as though the husband is responsible for his wife’s affair rather than acting as though she’s responsible for her own actions.

So, what, does this mean it’s Hillary’s fault Bill chased everything with a skirt, sexually harassing his own workers in the process? Is it Jackie O’s fault that JFK slept with Marilyn? Lisa Bonnet’s fault that Lenny Kravitz cheated?