Classy: Kidney donor wants it back in divorce
posted at 12:10 pm on January 8, 2009 by Ed Morrissey
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Divorces usually bring out the worst in people, but usually they take the Shakespearean “pound of flesh” more figuratively than Dr. Richard Batista of Long Island. Not only does he want his personal possessions back, he wants the kidney he donated to his wife returned as well. Not to worry, though — he’ll settle for $1.5 million in compensation if she won’t surrender it:
A Long Island surgeon embroiled in a nearly four-year divorce proceeding wants his estranged wife to return the kidney he donated to her, although he says he’ll settle for $1.5 million in compensation.
Dr. Richard Batista, a surgeon at Nassau University Medical Center, told reporters at his lawyer’s Long Island office Wednesday that he decided to go public with his demand for kidney compensation because he has grown frustrated with the negotiations with his estranged wife. …
He said he gave his kidney to Dawnell Batista, now 44, in June 2001. She filed for divorce in July 2005, although he claims she began having an extramarital affair 18 months to two years after receiving the kidney transplant, his attorney, Dominick Barbara said.
We have plenty of experience with transplants. The First Mate has had four transplants (three kidneys and a pancreas), two of which came from live donors. For the first, I planned on donating one of my kidneys, but a cadaver donor became available before I finished my tests. During the planning, it was made clear that this gift was non-refundable and non-negotiable, and in fact I signed paperwork acknowledging that, as did the two friends who later did donate live kidneys to the FM over the last five years.
This is not much more than a publicity stunt, but I wonder if Dr. Batista realizes the kind of publicity he will get. He wants to pressure his estranged wife into a better custody settlement and is using the threat of the $1.5 million demand to get it. I’m not sure that this mercenary treatment of his generous life-saving donation will reflect well on him as a parent; it certainly doesn’t reflect well on him as a surgeon. I’d bet it won’t endear him to his colleagues, either.
It’s tough enough to get people to become organ donors without making it into a potential custody issue in divorces. The doctor should know this already, but like people caught in the vise grip of ugly divorces, he seems to lack the proper perspective. Hopefully, that will be short-lived.
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I haven’t been married in a very long time (something about not having to buy the COW when the milk is free) just because of the notion that when we break up “I have to pay.”
perroviejo on January 8, 2009 at 12:14 PM
This guy is either drunk, or stupid. Either way it’s not good.
Smooth Rooster on January 8, 2009 at 12:14 PM
So, in other words, give me a million and a half, or die.
Wonder why she cheated on him.
MadisonConservative on January 8, 2009 at 12:15 PM
i wouldnt want my kidney to have sex with another guy, either.
lorien1973 on January 8, 2009 at 12:16 PM
Four years and the divorce is still ongoing? Mine took two years and nearly killed me. Any longer and I’d have been in an insane asylum after I snapped and strangled all the attorneys involved in my divorce.
txsurveyor on January 8, 2009 at 12:17 PM
Just a thought, but maybe Dr. Batista snapped two years ago.
txsurveyor on January 8, 2009 at 12:20 PM
Included in the follow up story 6 months from now;
Neighbors reported hearing her shout, “You can have that kidney when you pry it from my cold, dead torso!” Batista is currently being held in county lockup.
TugboatPhil on January 8, 2009 at 12:20 PM
I love New Yorkers….. bet he’s really from the Bronx!
originalpechanga on January 8, 2009 at 12:23 PM
I read about this yesterday. Can we say BITTER!
upinak on January 8, 2009 at 12:27 PM
That really pisses me off. heh.
bloggless on January 8, 2009 at 12:29 PM
New spin on the ‘kidney heist’ only this time it isn’t an urban legend.
thinkagain on January 8, 2009 at 12:29 PM
He would have been able to play on the court had he gone another direction:
“I loved this woman so much, I gave her one of my own kidneys. As thanks, my wife cheated on me.”
Divorces can and usually are ugly but this guy now sounds like an idiot.
catmman on January 8, 2009 at 12:30 PM
I blame you entirely for how rotten I feel after realizing that I was laughing hysterically at this story. It’s a very serious subject and I’m clearly an awful human being.
Jazz Shaw on January 8, 2009 at 12:30 PM
Can he even make that demand legally?
OneGyT on January 8, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Fat chance, just like every other husband his kidney is community property.
Speakup on January 8, 2009 at 12:31 PM
I doubt it. When people get divorced, many become reality-challenged.
I could WAIT to get divorced & I literally let my ex have just about everything bcs I didn’t CARE.
It’s only $$.
Badger40 on January 8, 2009 at 12:32 PM
The woman isn’t even letting him see his children, and she’s the one who cheated…with the personal trainer she got after injuring herself in Karate lessons.
This woman is pretty despicable herself.
So pretty much, these two were made for each other.
jimmy the notable on January 8, 2009 at 12:33 PM
My husband’s divorce from his first wife took four years, during which she demanded everything they owned together, and everything he’d bought after they separated, including his new house. She’d put heart medicine in his Tylenol bottle (heart medication can kill a person who doesn’t have heart problems). She had her daughter steal from him. Every wicked thing you can imagine a person doing, she did, for four long years, and after. I’m willing to bet Batista isn’t an angel who’s suddenly behaving badly–I’d bet he’s a complete cad who is behaving exactly according to who he is. His wife may be rotten, but it’s hard to imagine she could outdo him.
DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 12:34 PM
Gee, with that attitude, I’m sure you’ll find Miss Right in no time.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 12:34 PM
Bingo.
DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 12:36 PM
well his was the gift of life to a life partner, he didn’t think he would be parted from his kidney in short service… she is the one who decided to cheat on the family.
Kaptain Amerika on January 8, 2009 at 12:36 PM
How would this be handled under shari’a law?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 8, 2009 at 12:36 PM
He might simply be trying to reduce her settlement by 1.5 million. We know he is a doctor, but we don’t know her financial status. If the roles were reversed and a woman had donated an organ to her beloved husband, and been repaid with betrayal would you feel the same as you do in this case? I can almost hear the howls from women demanding not only the kidney back but his heart thrown in for good measure.
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 12:36 PM
She cheated on him, filed for divorce and wouldn’t let him see their kids.
He’s got a shorter life span because he tried to save her life and is understandably upset about it. That’s not proof that he’s a monster. It’s proof he’s human.
While I know he’s doing the wrong thing, I completely understand why he’s doing it.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 12:36 PM
Hey people, quit getting divorced. Its bad for kids. Not the process, but the psychological repercussions for years and years thereafter.
They would rather you stay together and hate each other than get divorced. The kid honestly doesn’t care how happy you are now that you are separated, he still sees it as a failed family.
jimmy the notable on January 8, 2009 at 12:37 PM
Yes, but women are expected to act irrationally over a broken relationship.
Men are expected to be men and not embarrass themselves the way this doctor has.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 12:39 PM
I don’t understand it. I understand frustration, I understand saying things that may be unkind, and I understand taking the gloves off. But I can’t understand this.
DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 12:39 PM
And those are just as despicable. I’m not excusing the wife in this case, but I am saying this proposal is appalling.
MadisonConservative on January 8, 2009 at 12:39 PM
Dunno, the fact that she cheated on him makes me kinda sympathetic to his case (the money, not the kidney back).
He’s willing to go under the knife (and there is ALWAYS the chance that you don’t wake up again) for her and she runs around town? I’d say that’s a pretty sorry little ingrate.
Techie on January 8, 2009 at 12:40 PM
Miss Right maybe, Mrs. Right, no.
Speakup on January 8, 2009 at 12:41 PM
If she was as low and hateful as him she could demand that he be the doctor to remove the kidney and make sure her lawyer has him prosecuted for murder.
snaggletoothie on January 8, 2009 at 12:41 PM
I agree that it is despicable, but are we holding him to a different standard because he’s male?
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 12:43 PM
I can’t believe all you dumping on this guy. He gives up a kidney to save his wife’s life. In return his wife cheats on him, won’t go to counseling (he still wanted to work it out), divorces him and won’t let him see his kids.
Yeah, he’s the bad guy here.
BillyRayValentine on January 8, 2009 at 12:43 PM
Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?
Kini on January 8, 2009 at 12:46 PM
I am not proud of his behavior, from a male perspective, but why should we hold him to one standard while allowing women to behave in a much lower standard?
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 12:47 PM
She rips out his heart and he is the bad guy. He is just looking for a little quid-pro-quo organ swap.
al sends
(that being joked… he needs to know what it is to forgive. He will be forever miserable until he does. May God give him such grace.)
afterdarknesslight on January 8, 2009 at 12:47 PM
Generally, I agree with you–the research shows that divorce is quite damaging to children; however, there is one category of children who seem to do better after divorce, and they are the kids whose parents act as if they are in some sort of war. The constant tension is very damaging to children. Of course, if their parents would show some maturity and behave with dignity, it would be better for them to stay together, but we all know that some people are too immature to be married–or be parents, for that matter.
I would also say, based more on anecdotal evidence than research I’ve seen, that children with a parent who cheats on the other have a very hard time getting over it, even if the cheated-on parent forgives. The kids have a very difficult time regaining respect for their parent, or respecting anything that parent tells them.
I certainly feel sorry for the children in the Batista marriage–they’re going to lose no matter what.
DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Well, legally if he can’t take her kidney and can’t take money (which I’m thinking is the case), then all he’s really doing is saying some unkind things that he’ll likely look back on years later with regret.
For me though, I can understand him saying these things far more than I understand her cheating. Yeah, maybe he was a horrible husband, but she should have ended the marriage first.
Not only that, but when you give up a kidney, your life expectancy is shorter. He’ll have to live with that the rest of his life, and so will she if she’s a decent person.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Ed, I hope the First Mate and her kidney and pancreas are doing well! I donated a kidney to my aunt in October. This was her second transplant; the first was from a cadaver donor 31 years + 2 days before our surgery (her first one lasted much longer than expected). My aunt has had a bit rougher go of it this time around (being 31 years older probably affects this), but so far there has been no rejection.
Not only do they make it clear before you donate that the kidney is non-returnable, it is currently ILLEGAL to pay any monetary compensation for donor organs. These are all things that are drilled into you with literature, education seminars, and legal documentation that you sign prior to surgery. By asking for monetary compensation he may actually be breaking the law (I’m not a lawyer, but I was told it is illegal to ask for monetary compensation for donor organs in the US).
Good for you and for your friends that you would be willing to give such a gift. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
vermillionsky on January 8, 2009 at 12:52 PM
Ditto both the words and the sentiment.
No wonder the institution of marriage is so fcked up in this country. The man can give up his kidney to save the wife and she can turn around and be a dirty cheating whore who spitefully denies him access to the kids, and even people here are trying to draw moral equivalence between the two.
In light of that, I can fully understand the attitude of this poster:
thirteen28 on January 8, 2009 at 12:52 PM
I don’t see why we would be on a conservative website. My thinking is that most of us here wouldn’t care about the sex. Either way, it sucks, and the person making the demand should be ashamed of themselves.
MadisonConservative on January 8, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Yet another reason why a good bunch of guys who could become good husbands… don’t.
newton on January 8, 2009 at 12:53 PM
There’s no judge in this country who would or could (legally) force the wife to either give up the kidney or pay the husband for giving it to her. This is just a negotiating tactic (probably devised by the husband’s lawyer) to pressure the wife by getting a lot of publicity for the fact that, after having had her life saved by her husband’s act of generosity, she repaid him by cheating on him and then denying him access to their children. IMO, the wife’s the sleazy one in this scenario, but the husband would have been better served by taking the high road.
AZCoyote on January 8, 2009 at 12:55 PM
I gotta hop over to Dr. Helen’s site and see what’s being said over there. I bet her comments are going to be a lot more interesting.
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 12:56 PM
spleen seems to be intact.
eh on January 8, 2009 at 12:58 PM
Would he have been able to put that public pressure on his wife if he had chosen the high road? This divorce and his, possible, mistreatment would have gone unnoticed except for this sensational demand. It’s a calculated gamble that may or may not pay off.
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 12:59 PM
I may be the odd man out here, but i sympathise with the doctor. Nothing pisses me off more than cheating, and to think he gave her his kidney, and 18 months later, she cheating? I would do the same thing too.
That makes me boil right now, even just thinking about it. The guy saved her goddamned life, and 18 months later, she’s cheating? Do you know what he had to go thru…taking her around, taking care of her during her sickness, and then finally giving her his kidney, and then 18 months later, she’s freaking cheating?
Really, I think the woman deserves to burn in hell, and i don’t care what happens to her. I understand why the guy is doing it.
Chudi on January 8, 2009 at 1:00 PM
Attorney here. Obviously this ain’t gonna happen.
The closest thing is equitable reimbursement “alimony” payment, like when a spouse works solo and supports the couple while the other spouse goes to school full time to improve their financial standing, then the educated spouse bails out on the marriage (ex. they found another love in school) and sticks the old spouse with the bills for the education, but no new income that was expected.
Say whatever you want about the doctor, but the guy donated a kidney to his wife, and most guys won’t make the bed or do the dishes. Then she cheats on him, one of the most terrible experiences to go through, a complete destruction of trust (assuming he didn’t do the same first).
His proposal is bitter fer shure, but aren’t most contested divorces? He could possibly get money for the sacrifice, as he possibly shortened his life for hers out of love/devotion due to the marriage, something he likely wouldn’t have done had they not been married.
Saltyron on January 8, 2009 at 1:01 PM
Why do we hold men and women to different standards at all?
Beats me. I don’t support it. I just understand that we do and that, that is why people would view the story differently.
If you think of women in the sense that you either purchase or get them for free, I’m fairly certain even the Miss will steer clear of you.
I’ve seen this myself, but really, parents shouldn’t be telling their children about these affairs. Unless one gets caught by the children, they really shouldn’t know about it.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 1:02 PM
I feel for the guy.
This sounds like someone that has been deeply hurt….I doubt he wants the kidney or the money. What he wants is for his wife to think about the kidney donation, realize that he’s the love of her life, and get back with him.
That’s not likely to happen, and even more unlikely to happen when he’s using the nicest thing he ever did for her (and really, organ donation is an amazing act) as a weapon.
People rarely act rational in these instances.
My sister’s friend is going through a divorce right now where her husband decided that a 50% split literally means he gets half of everything, right down to half of the spices in the spice rack (not half of the value….the actual spices in the set…and he doesn’t cook). Of course, when she said, “Fine, but that means I get half of your golf clubs.” he didn’t see how it was the same thing.
Some divorces seem like a long, drawn out temper tantrum.
I
JadeNYU on January 8, 2009 at 1:03 PM
This is not true. Actually, living donors tend to live longer than the general population:
Living with one kidney is really not much different than living with two.. you just have to be more careful to treat high-blood pressure right away if you get it, you need to avoid ibuprofen, and you need to avoid contact sports that might damage the other kidney. There goes my career in the NFL :P
vermillionsky on January 8, 2009 at 1:03 PM
I don’t buy that. We’re all responsible for our own actions. If a man won’t be a good husband, that’s on him, not anyone else, not even if he marries a cheater.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 1:06 PM
Oh, and I forgot to add that people who donate a kidney go to the top of the transplant list if they ever need one themselves (only children would have higher priority).
vermillionsky on January 8, 2009 at 1:08 PM
I don’t suppose anybody wants to condemn the wife for, you know, cheating on her husband.
misterpeasea on January 8, 2009 at 1:08 PM
That part in parenthesis is fairly key I’d think. Their life expectancy is cut short. Sure, they may live longer than the general population, but that likely has nothing to do with the donation. And how can you tell how much longer they would have lived?
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 1:08 PM
I think the “marriage strike” is real and going to gain ground. Dr. Helen’s blog has discussed this frequently. It’s a nice conservative site, and it’s good to see a woman advocating mens rights.
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 1:11 PM
I completely agree. In fact, there is something called Parental Alienation Syndrome (my husband went through it) in which one parent systematically alienates the children from the other. It is most frequently done by women, and could certainly be the case here. If she is doing it, the children should be removed from her custody.
This case is horrible all around. I agree with the people here that cheating is inexcusable, and in this case, she looks like a completely ungrateful strumpet. That said, there is nothing my husband’s ex-wife could have done that would change his character, and he would never dream of doing what this man is doing. Perhaps it is a negotiating tool when it comes to the financial settlement–frankly, that hadn’t occurred to me, and I find it a bit more understandable. Nevertheless, neither of them looks good, and I can’t imagine either of them being proud of themselves for how they look to their kids.
DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 1:17 PM
If it was they guy who got the kidney and later cheated, the woman would be the sympathetic media marytr for 2009.
The guy would be reduced to scumbag status instantaneously.
wildweasel on January 8, 2009 at 1:23 PM
“Would’ja’ settle for a spleen?”
franksalterego on January 8, 2009 at 1:23 PM
I guess I’d ask you the same question, since you’re the one who made the original claim. How do you know their life expectancy is cut short? Where is the source to back up that claim?
There is no way of knowing exactly how long a person would have lived if they didn’t have the surgery because there is no control subject to compare (each person has only one life.. we can’t try it once with donation and once without). All we can compare is how life expectancy is compared to the general population, and living donors live longer lives than the general population.
vermillionsky on January 8, 2009 at 1:24 PM
My father had to as well, even though she’s the one who cheated and left him (then again, when you get married because she got pregnant on your first date, you probably don’t have the best marriage anyway).
She grew up in a household where her father left and took her brother with him (specifically leaving her), so she taught her own son that as soon as my dad had another boy, he wouldn’t love his first son anymore.
You can imagine what my brothers’ relationship was like. Now at 25 and 35, they’re finally building a real one.
That’s how it should be. And even with my dad, he admitted that he had his own problems in the marriage and has said before that if you assume it’s all the other person, then your future relationship will suffer.
The worst part though is that they do have children who must be having a hard time with this. Were he thinking of them, he wouldn’t have done this.
The same is true of her as well.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 1:25 PM
She is a b*tch and a whore! I have no sympathy for this woman whatsoever. He doesn’t want the kidney, obviously. He wants his pound of flesh and he is going to get it from bankrupting her if possible. I don’t know if I would do the same thing, but I certainly can understand why HE is doing it.
JAM on January 8, 2009 at 1:25 PM
No one should be asking for a double standard–this includes incessant female whining that everything wrong in life somehow is because of men, and it also includes men wanting to have all sorts of sex with all sorts of women, then not wanting to marry because they think women are slutty. A little manly self-control would be refreshing–a little self-control on everyone’s part would be refreshing.
All of this, frankly, makes me long a bit for “the old days.” I recognize I have had tremendous opportunities that I might not have had in an earlier time, but there is a price attached to everything. People love to malign the 50s (before my time, but I listened to my parents), but can anyone really say that we as a society are any happier than we were then?
DrMagnolias on January 8, 2009 at 1:29 PM
The general population includes people who are very unhealthy. Your own source of proof said that donors are generally more healthy than the general population.
There are people who calculate life expectancy, actuaries for one. I didn’t make up the claim. It’s common enough that you were able to find a source attempting to discredit it. If you really want to know the truth here, then surely you can research this. I for one, just don’t care enough either way. If I have a reason to donate, then I will no matter the impact to my life.
But it is a fact that donors take a risk. It’s not a decision that should be taken lightly.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 1:33 PM
Counteroffer: Boobies.
Pablo on January 8, 2009 at 1:35 PM
What marriage strike? I didn’t see anything on the site (not on the front page anyway).
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 1:36 PM
I have to agree — she’s also a moral nitwit and an ingrate to boot. While he’s going too far, it appears as if he’s desperate to get publicity so that he can pressure her for a more fluid custody arrangement.
Richard Romano on January 8, 2009 at 1:38 PM
I have to disagree. My brother was cheated on by his wife of 22 years. He’s done nothing but sacrifice for his wife and kids for years, and they had many material and immaterial benefits. he never cheated, and always doted in them. But he was never really appreciated for what he accomplished, and she always wanted more. When he caught her cheating, he tried to “make it work” but she wanted out because the kids were older and she wanted to re-live her youth. We frankly believe her to be a narcissist.
He filed for divorce. Now he is with a woman that actually respects both him and the kids. The kids should be told what happened. She was the reason for the divorce. Not him. If one parent does something so disrespectful of the other and the marriage vows, THEY are the guilty party. THEY broke up the family. The kids know what happened now, and one chose to stay with my brother, the other with their mother. But then my niece left her mother too, because, just as my brother learned, his wife is all about herself. Of course, my young niece’s grades went down the crapper because the mother (who had custody) never oversaw her. When my brother took over, her grades shot up.
If he would have just kept it as “mommies and daddies fight” b.s., the kids would miss out on that important dimension, the truth, and may come to blame my brother for filing for divorce without knowing the motive/reason behind it. She f*cked up, she needs to be called out on it.
There is a solution. Don’t cheat. You have problems in the marriage, go to counseling, put the issue on the table, and if it can’t be worked out, then divorce and screw all you want. Have a sliver of respect for your spouse and for the institution you entered, even if you no longer have love.
I know, that’s responsibility, and that’s out of favor these days.
Saltyron on January 8, 2009 at 1:52 PM
I have a hard time sympathizing with the woman in this case who was having an affair at the same time her husband was showing the ultimate in devotion by giving up his kidney for her. That kind of callousness seems justify the kind of frustration this man is exhibiting.
And wasn’t a similar situation a sub-plot of Lost a few seasons back?
Scrappy on January 8, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Esthier,
Google this: “marriage strike” site:drhelen.blogspot.com/
Pablo on January 8, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Here is a tag list of mens rights articles from the site. I have read articles specifically about the “marriage strike”, but since I headed off to work I don’t have the time to look them up.
DFCtomm on January 8, 2009 at 1:56 PM
I do. She showed to be an ingratiate skank.
To bring it out to the national scene like this is embarrassing, but there’s nothing like media publicity to nudge someone into feeling ashamed of herself.
newton on January 8, 2009 at 2:01 PM
This argument tells me you pulled this notion out of the air, without any scientific research to back it up. Often things that are commonly believed to be true are not supported by scientific or medical research.
Actuaries work for insurance companies who have a financial interest to estimate against the patient. Yes, under our current medical system insurance companies may deny individual insurance to people who have donated a kidney, but this is more due to the increased (slight, but nonetheless increased) risk of high blood pressure people who donate kidneys may face. This is one factor I took into account when I donated. Until our system changes, I will have to rely on employer-sponsored health insurance, where the insurance companies are not allowed to deny based on pre-existing conditions. This is an educated choice I made to help my aunt.
I have researched it. As I said before, I donated a kidney in October and researched it thoroughly before doing so.
I agree, it is important for people to know the risks before any surgery or similar medical procedure. It is also important for people to not make scientific/medical claims that they pull out of the air, such as the one you made earlier in this thread.
vermillionsky on January 8, 2009 at 2:03 PM
Maybe she took his ballz.
roux on January 8, 2009 at 2:05 PM
The Physical Trainer donated his “Organ” to her too. If I was him I would demand that one be removed as well. Remember you cant have infidelity without infidel……
Joey1974 on January 8, 2009 at 2:18 PM
How would this be handled under shari’a law?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on January 8, 2009 at 12:36 PM
In this one instance….. probably the right way.
Joey1974 on January 8, 2009 at 2:20 PM
I love New Yorkers….. bet he’s really from the Bronx!
originalpechanga on January 8, 2009 at 12:23 PM
Hey Superstar, not everyone from the Bronx is a baboon, and in this instance he couldn’t be more right. He is a doctor right? He should ahve just done it himself one night and left her in a bathtub full of ice.. sorry if thats gross
Joey1974 on January 8, 2009 at 2:24 PM
There’s one very important person who would have known about it even if the husband had not gone public: the judge presiding over the divorce case. Assuming that they don’t reach a settlement, the judge will decide who gets what. And there are some other important people who probably already knew about the transplant, and who are going to be affected by the publicity generated by the husband’s decision to go public: his children.
I’m sympathetic to the husband’s position here. He was badly betrayed by a woman he loved and presumably trusted, and for whom he had made a great sacrifice. His anger and disgust with his wife’s behavior is completely understandable. But I’m guessing that as a doctor, he probably doesn’t need the money, and his demand for the payment for the kidney is more about pressuring and embarrassing the wife than anything else. Yes, it’ a gamble, but I’m not sure the potential pay-off (humiliating the wife? getting her to agree to accept less money/custody?) is going to be worth it in the end.
AZCoyote on January 8, 2009 at 2:43 PM
Thankfully, I was not drinking anything before the keyboard!
Thanks for the laugh!
newton on January 8, 2009 at 2:45 PM
I second that. My family lived in the Bronx since the 1950s, and I still have relatives there.
newton on January 8, 2009 at 2:47 PM
So let’s recap:
She got the kidney
She cheated, after she got the kidney
She filed for divorce
She got the house after the divorce
She got custody of the kids in the divorce
She’s getting child support for the kids in the divorce
She won’t let him see his kids
I think I know who the villain is here. Like Chris Rock would say…I don’t agree with him, but I understand.
Chudi on January 8, 2009 at 2:56 PM
Ah, so you admit people who donate organs face a medical risk that could mean they have a shorter life.
We agree then.
Kinda. Locke’s father used him for a kidney and then tried to kill him.
Also, she didn’t have the affair until over a year later. Doesn’t make it much better, but it didn’t happen while she was sick.
I’m sorry, but I still disagree. I can understand the father telling his children that she and he no longer wanted the same things and that she wanted to be with other people, but I don’t think he should tell their children that their mother’s a slut.
Anything he can say to explain the situation only trashes their mother, and that’s not the best way to have a good relationship with your children anyway.
If she really is as selfish as you say, the kids will figure it out on their own and not as the result of a divorce or bad mouthing by their father.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 3:18 PM
Oh but you vastly underestimate the silver tongued devil.
Since they’re arguing about parts I’d assume they’d slice them all to pieces, mix them up and when they discovered that for some odd reason they were dead, they’d stone them.
Speakup on January 8, 2009 at 3:28 PM
Time to man up, boys!
1. A woman does not have an affair when she is in love with her husband.
2. A husband’s job in a marriage is to keep his wife in love with him.
3. A husband cannot make his wife feel in love with him by giving her things.
4. No, not even with a kidney.
ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 3:28 PM
That’ll work for a night.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 3:35 PM
ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 3:28 PM
So, if a man does not do his job in marriage (as defined by you), the woman is allowed to cheat on him, run rough shod over him, keep his kids from him, take half of his belongings, all after he sacrifices to save his life?
What a simplistic, naive twit you are.
BillyRayValentine on January 8, 2009 at 3:37 PM
False. People cheat even when in love. It happens.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 3:45 PM
Hell, half of the so-called men on this thread will agree with her.
thirteen28 on January 8, 2009 at 3:47 PM
Also, a husband cannot make his wife feel in love with him period. He can be everything to her, and she can still not be in love with him.
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 3:47 PM
First she stole his heart, then she ran off with his kidney. No wonder this whole experience leaves him feeling empty inside.
keep the change on January 8, 2009 at 3:57 PM
Exactly. But he can drive her away with his actions. Which is exactly what this Dr. did.
ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 3:57 PM
And you base your defense of her whoring around on exactly what evidence?
thirteen28 on January 8, 2009 at 3:59 PM
How do you know that? Are you the personal trainer?
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 4:01 PM
No. I’m not commenting on what the woman is “allowed” to do. I’m just helping you understand why she did what she did.
ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 4:02 PM
A) you don’t know why she did it, so how the hell can you help the rest of us understand?
B) Why she did it is irrelevant – she committed adultery, which is wrong. Period.
thirteen28 on January 8, 2009 at 4:06 PM
We all know why she did it. She’s a bitch.
BillyRayValentine on January 8, 2009 at 4:07 PM
Except that you have no idea why she did it, unless you are that woman.
I know a woman who’s husband left her after 20 years. He ran off with another woman.
After he left, while going through his things, she found his journal, and thinking it could help her keep the house, she started to read it. The first line said something like, “It’s given me so much pleasure to deceive my wife for the last 20 years into believing I love her.”
Then she decided she didn’t really want to read the journal and just handed it to her lawyer.
What was she supposed to have done differently?
Esthier on January 8, 2009 at 4:12 PM
Ha! See, it’s simple: Only a man’s actions can drive down a woman’s interest in him. Let us assume that the woman was in love with (and attracted to) him at one time. Through his actions and his actions alone, she slowly (or quickly, it’s hard to tell) lost interest in him. To “save his marriage” he gave her his kidney! Not just to save her life, mind you; that would have been a selfless act. But on the contrary he gave her his kidney explicitly to get her to be in love with him again.
ypbatty on January 8, 2009 at 4:22 PM
Well in that case, since women can’t be held responsible for their own actions, then they should simply be men’s property, right?
thirteen28 on January 8, 2009 at 4:27 PM
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