Shocker: World’s oldest profession not recession-proof

posted at 7:08 pm on January 7, 2009 by Ed Morrissey

Who would have ever thought that the porn industry would need a bailout?  Hustler’s Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis want a $5 billion federal rescue to get the adult entertainment industry back on its feet … or back on its back … well, on firm financial footing.  Fortunately, they seem to have a Parliament of Whores ready to receive their request:

Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt sounds as if he’s using satire to make a political point about the sudden necessity of private enterprise to receive public subsidies.  Francis sounds like he expects to get a slice of the bailout pie.  And why not?  We could make a DC Goes Wild video of Bush, Paulson, Pelosi, Reid, and eventually Obama spending money that doesn’t exist and deepening the national debt at a rate unparalleled in our history.  For obscenity, at least in a political and financial sense, it doesn’t get much more explicit than what we’ve seen in the last three months.

For that matter, hustler sounds like an apt description of the bailout high priests and priestesses, too.

Flynt notes that the adult film industry actually is in pretty good health, but that people are too depressed to have sex.  They think a bailout would be good for the national libido.  I’d say it’s just another way for taxpayers to get screwed.


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I’d say it’s just another way for taxpayers to get screwed.

And not even getting a reach around.

the_nile on January 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

Why not. At least they know how to satisfy a customer…can’t say that for GM.

Laura in Maryland on January 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

I wonder how long it’ll take for all the tools here to start whipping out their lame puns.

Darth Executor on January 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

They’re kidding… right?

Right?

newton on January 7, 2009 at 7:14 PM

Porn is the world’s oldest profession?

CherokeeJack on January 7, 2009 at 7:17 PM

Something smells fishy.

Jim62sch on January 7, 2009 at 7:18 PM

As could be expected, Ace is all over this one with all the crude jokes and puns you could ever want.

Jim62sch on January 7, 2009 at 7:19 PM

I’m going to spend the next four years getting screwed by the government. I can’t afford any “extra”

swash_plate on January 7, 2009 at 7:19 PM

By the way, did you hear Larry Flynt was suing his nephews for ruining his good name by making low-quality pron?

Jim62sch on January 7, 2009 at 7:20 PM

Pornography is the world’s oldest profession?

Buy Danish on January 7, 2009 at 7:22 PM

We could make a DC Goes Wild video of Bush….

Ooops. Freudian slip, Ed.

jim m on January 7, 2009 at 7:23 PM

Satire. Good satire at that.

therightwinger on January 7, 2009 at 7:26 PM

Pornography is the world’s oldest profession?

Buy Danish on January 7, 2009 at 7:22 PM

Yes because pornography is literally people committing sexual acts for money….i.e. prostitution

SaintOlaf on January 7, 2009 at 7:26 PM

They did say handout didn’t they?

Guardian on January 7, 2009 at 7:28 PM

Flynt notes that the adult film industry actually is in pretty good health,

“Adult film”? Lots of teens watch that destructive garbage.
Mature audiences only? No, immature.

jgapinoy on January 7, 2009 at 7:29 PM

Does that mean that the US would be a stakeholder in the porn industry? Does anybody want to see “Barney Frank gone wild?” or “Pelsoi’s Mardi Gras Adventure?”

highhopes on January 7, 2009 at 7:29 PM

Guess everybody gets a haircut.

Sales must be flagging huh?

Speakup on January 7, 2009 at 7:30 PM

Say it anin’t so,Joe!

After all Madam Pelosi,and the Liberal Party

seem to be doing well with 7 0 0 B i l l l i o n

D o l l a r s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 7:32 PM

Flynt notes that the adult film industry actually is in pretty good health, but that people are too depressed to have sex.

And all this time I thought it was the lack of a willing partner. Had no idea it was depression. If there’s a bailout that passes out free coupons, count me in.

Rovin on January 7, 2009 at 7:33 PM

crapola,I put an extra L in billion!Ugh!:)

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 7:34 PM

Darth Executor on January 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

“whipping out”

I think you answered the question with the muse.

ericdijon on January 7, 2009 at 7:35 PM

Not that it means anything, but look at a picture of a younger Larry Flynt and Virginia Senator Jim Webb. Separated at birth.

TugboatPhil on January 7, 2009 at 7:41 PM

At the rate this is going,I have no doubt,that
the makers of those multiple programable thingys
that shake and vibrant,will also be looking for
a bailout as well!

When does the madness stop?

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Wouldn’t it be easier to cut to the chase,

and simple open up the Liberal Government Office
of State Your Bailout Needs,(LGOSYBN)!

That way,besides the porn industry,and porn gizmo’s,
everybody else,

might get a slice of Hope and Change pie!(Sarc!).

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 7:46 PM

When does the madness stop?

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Agreed. We should stand firm and refuse this “pay to play” industry.

Rovin on January 7, 2009 at 7:47 PM

Larry Flynt is a BIG Democrat and Bill Clinton contributor…………..

…………….. he will get the money out of your pocket that you would have fed your kids with. Trust Democrats to always do………..

…………… the right thing.

Seven Percent Solution on January 7, 2009 at 7:47 PM

…people are too depressed to have sex. They think a bailout would be good for the national libido. I’d say it’s just another way for taxpayers to get screwed.

They’ve BEEN bailing out the “sex industry” for MANY years. Whaddaya’ call those government subsidized abortions at Planned Parenthood? They sure look like “bailouts” to my tax dollar. What do you think, collie?

My collie says:

Do you suppose that if they issued free Obama condoms that people would have more, or less sex?

Maybe we should ask the Fox News sexpert.

CyberCipher on January 7, 2009 at 7:51 PM

Did Homo erectus make erotic cave paintings?

Mark1971 on January 7, 2009 at 7:51 PM

…….the right thing.

Seven Percent Solution on Jan 7,2009 at 7:47PM.

Seven Percent Solution: Just to let you know,I read
your comments,keep’um coming:)

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 7:52 PM

Who will be the Porn Czar? Eliot Spitzer? John Edwards? Bill Clinton?

Jim62sch on January 7, 2009 at 7:53 PM

Don’t forget the poor drug dealers too!

omnipotent on January 7, 2009 at 7:54 PM

Who will be the Porn Czar? Eliot Spitzer? John Edwards? Bill Clinton?

Jim62sch on January 7, 2009 at 7:53 PM

It’ll be Madeline Albright, just for laughs.

CherokeeJack on January 7, 2009 at 7:55 PM

I think you answered the question with the muse.

ericdijon on January 7, 2009 at 7:35 PM

I’m disappointed you didn’t even bother to mention the other two I put in there.

Darth Executor on January 7, 2009 at 7:56 PM

I say give it to them…he has just as much right to it as the auto makers, or AIG guys.
In fact, give it to any one who has a legitimate claim of losing money…if you give it to one industry, you should give it to all.
We all learned that in grade school. When you give someone gum in the class, you were forced to bring gum for everyone.
That is the liberal mantra, treat EVERYONE as equals.

right2bright on January 7, 2009 at 8:00 PM

Do you suppose if they issued free Obama condoms that people
would of more,or less sex?

CyberCipher on Jan 7,2009 at 7:51PM.

CyberCipher:I love your posts as well CC,don’t stop:)

Now,thats a good question,but why stop at Hopey condoms,
they’re the ‘Spitzer’ model,the ‘Wild Slick Willy’model,
the ‘Pelosi Palomino Wild Frontier’ model,and the very
unpopular model,’The bendoverbackwards lets git er done
Blagojevich model’!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Snark!)A Hem,Hehe.

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 8:04 PM

Who would have ever thought that the porn industry would need a bailout? Hustler’s Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis want a $5 billion federal rescue to get the adult entertainment industry back on its feet

Haha, GOOD RIDDANCE!

Richard Romano on January 7, 2009 at 8:04 PM

Warning:

Due to failure,the ‘Sliky Model’has been recalled!haha.

canopfor on January 7, 2009 at 8:07 PM

Looks like the only thing going up will be taxes.

OldEnglish on January 7, 2009 at 8:08 PM

Will Flynt also ask for the no-questions-asked Paulson plan?

At least Congress would spend some serious time investigating how this money is spent, in detail and from all angles.

pedestrian on January 7, 2009 at 8:08 PM

Actually this stunt is a gift for Conservatives.

And it almost ironically landed on Epiphanney!

Mr. Joe on January 7, 2009 at 8:11 PM

If the large producers of porn go under, we will still have plenty of porn. Amateurs will fill the void with internet as the distribution channel. It will really be no different then what is happening to the MSM.

Mark1971 on January 7, 2009 at 8:13 PM

Who will be the Porn Czar? Eliot Spitzer? John Edwards? Bill Clinton?

Jim62sch on January 7, 2009 at 7:53 PM

It’ll be Madeline Albright, just for laughs.

CherokeeJack on January 7, 2009 at 7:55 PM

That’ll really deflate the porn industry.

And they have found clay tablets from ancient Babylonia showing men and women doin’ what comes natural. So it is’t just a modern phenomenon.

I can’t believe someone would be enough of a d!ck to suggest this. Are we so pu22ywhipped that we’ll take this lying down? I say we need to come together and stand firm against such a bailout, lest we look like a bunch of boobs.
(No, I haven’t peeked at Ace yet)
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal. And tip your waitress, so she doesn’t have to earn extra money on the street.

rbj on January 7, 2009 at 8:27 PM

Yes because pornography is literally people committing sexual acts for money….i.e. prostitution

SaintOlaf on January 7, 2009 at 7:26 PM

Are you sure? I think it’s still porn, even if no money changes hands. Or even if there aren’t real people in it (illustrations, etc).

Tanya on January 7, 2009 at 8:29 PM

If this is satire, and I am hoping that it is, then it illustrates the stupidity of the bail outs better than anything the average citizen could say.

Cindy Munford on January 7, 2009 at 8:39 PM

geeze I thought this topic was about politicians.

kanda on January 7, 2009 at 8:42 PM

The double entendre is exquisite. My congrats.

lionheart on January 7, 2009 at 9:07 PM

Why not? He’s just like the pimps at GM, Chrysler, Fannie, Freddie, AIG, etc, etc, etc…..

Hog Wild on January 7, 2009 at 9:18 PM

HA! Great post.

Gaunilon on January 7, 2009 at 9:26 PM

Bailouts, once the train has gone through the tunnel there’s no telling how many’s going there since.

Speakup on January 7, 2009 at 9:36 PM

I hope they get the money, I want everyone in the country to realize how absurd this all is. In reality, the porn industry has the same right as any other industry asking for a bailout, but it just seems obscene. Maybe this can wake some people up.

John_Locke on January 7, 2009 at 10:29 PM

They misunderstood us; we said we couldn’t wait for the next ELECTION.

thomasaur on January 7, 2009 at 10:58 PM

John_Locke on January 7, 2009 at 10:29 PM

When I first read about this on Michelle’s site, my first inclination was to bang my head on the desk and scream at the top of my lungs, “STOP THE MADNESS ALREADY!!” I was wondering what it was going to take to WAKE UP the sleeping masses to all of this media-fueled, tail-wagging-the-dog, misplaced panic. This relentless practice of throwing bad money after bad and then just printing more isn’t really any different from shifting one credit card balance to the next. Debt is what got us into this clusterfark in the first place; it ain’t likely to be the thing that gets us out!

Then after I settled down, I thought, “You know, this might be a good thing.” Because this is SO ridiculous that perhaps it will finally be the thing that causes voters to sit up and say, “Alright enough is enough.” We’re all tightening our individual belts in these tough times. Responsible businesses (i.e., not the banking or auto industries) are doing the same. It will hurt for awhile, but I far prefer ripping the Band-Aid off quickly to peeling it off slowly — which is exactly what another “stimulus” package will guarantee. Washington seems as easily led by the press as the public is. I can only cross my fingers and hope that this insanity will cause enough of a buzz that their reporting on Obama’s Magic Cure-All might start getting a little more critical. Then maybe he and his cronies in Congress will back off (like the did on the Burris thing when they saw their phony outrage wasn’t playing well in the press).

It’s either that or we have to stage one massive march on Washington. Someone has to stop this speeding freight train before it goes off the tracks.

NoLeftTurn on January 8, 2009 at 12:18 AM

All jokes aside, just why is the porn industry less suitable for a government bailout than car makeers? Because a majority of people don’t like it? Are we really sure we want Washington to make judgements about which industries shuld do well and which should not but circumventing supply and demand?
I obviously don’t that Hustler and Girls Gone Wild should be getting my future retirement funds, but I don’t think Ford sohuld either. But why let one steal from my family and not the other?

MikeA on January 8, 2009 at 9:14 AM

MikeA on January 8, 2009 at 9:14 AM

Because one doesn’t corrupt the minds of men and women of all ages, destroying relationships, perpetuating sin and immorality?

Meh, I agree with you that Ford shouldn’t get the bailout either, but I don’t feel I’ll be forced into complicity with sin by funding it. Porn and Planned Parenthood are another story.

pannw on January 8, 2009 at 9:20 AM

I’d say it’s just another way for taxpayers to get screwed.

Ed Morrissey

Amen

Maxx on January 8, 2009 at 10:04 AM

Meh, I agree with you that Ford shouldn’t get the bailout either, but I don’t feel I’ll be forced into complicity with sin by funding it. Porn and Planned Parenthood are another story.

pannw on January 8, 2009 at 9:20 AM

Most state governments run numbers, which some consider immoral.

The porn industry isn’t getting any bailout money. Flynt likely sees an opportunity to get some publicity and to tweak the US Government for its corporate welfare.

dedalus on January 8, 2009 at 10:23 AM

Shocker: World’s oldest profession not recession-proof

Farming is recession-proof?

I wonder how long it’ll take for all the tools here to start whipping out their lame puns.

Darth Executor on January 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

And yes, since this story has exploded onto the internet, the tawdry puns are coming from everywhere.

pt on January 8, 2009 at 11:28 AM

Actually, it may well be that Flynt is hurting some. According to torrentfreak.com Hustler, Flynt’s business, is off hiring folks (Media Protector) to go after filesharers who pirate his stiff, er, stuff.

http://torrentfreak.com/hustler-hires-media-protector-to-chase-porn-pirates-090103/

nerdbert on January 8, 2009 at 11:45 AM

So their market has gotten soft?

ttime500 on January 8, 2009 at 1:46 PM

The reason that the porn industry is hurting is

Gays Gag at the sight of Barney (screwing fany may)…
Lesbians Run from any pics of hillary….
Straights cant stand pelozi on the tv ….

So in order to really freshen up the soft porno industry
they should start by Getting Rid of ALL the liberals in congress..

I mean after all i watched c-span last night and after 5 minutes of peloize The Dingbat witch
I was up all night
With Nightmares..

I definatly was not in the mood after seeing that Witch..

So we dont need a bailout to get people in the mood again
no we just need to get rid of ALL OF the SENATE and the HOUSE of Reresentativies..

we should close Club Gitmo and take ALL of the Islamo nazis therin and put them into temporary housing
In the Senate..
they would take care of the pest infestation romaing the halls of congress..

then after they have cleaned house americans might be in the mood again.. knowing the liberals at least are being
given their just deserts..

jcila on January 8, 2009 at 1:56 PM