The most ironic Christmas gift evah
posted at 6:09 pm on December 27, 2008 by Allahpundit
Newly arrived from Malkin manor, a copy of “God Is Not Great” — inscribed.
Good lord. It’s like getting a Bible autographed by the Pope.
I won’t bother asking you who has the best boss in the world; we already know. Instead, let’s ponder that oh so cryptic beginning…
For “Allahpundit,” in the devout hope that he is working himself out of a job.
With “the compliments of the season” — which is as far as Mr. Jefferson would go at this distraught season.
Two possibilities:
1. He’s making an atheist joke on my alias, i.e. it’s high time the world rid itself of Allah.
2. He’s read the site and thinks it reeks, or at least my contribution to it.
My head says 1 — how likely is it that he’s ever read HA, after all? — but my beta-male heart says 2. Reassure me.
Update: From the comments, a third option focusing on the “pundit” part: “May you so successfully state your case that all are convinced and your labors are no longer needed.”
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How drunk was he when he wrote that?
Ampersand on December 27, 2008 at 6:13 PM
Don”t worry be happy.
xplodeit on December 27, 2008 at 6:14 PM
Allah, does anyone know your real name? Does MM just pay you by dropping off a suitcase of money at a specific location once a month?
amerpundit on December 27, 2008 at 6:15 PM
I go with number 2. And let me extend my wishes :For “Allahpundit,” in the devout hope that he is working himself out of a job.
+100
unseen on December 27, 2008 at 6:16 PM
Probably the first…. perhaps both. Nice one!
lexhamfox on December 27, 2008 at 6:16 PM
With that chicken scratch, thank God invented keyboards! Obviously he did not go to a Catholic school with nuns.
patrick neid on December 27, 2008 at 6:16 PM
Michelle must really be enjoying this gift. I know I would.
Merry Christmas, AP.
Bob's Kid on December 27, 2008 at 6:17 PM
Some types of work will lead to a conclusion and when you succeed you have to find a new job. The work of a conservative blogger however is to combat stupidity. That job will not end until our savior returns. Maybe that’s what Hitchens meant.
Congratulations on your gift.
pedestrian on December 27, 2008 at 6:19 PM
I’d go with #1,
I don’t think AP sucks that bad. Certainly not enough to justify #2.
Ya feel reassured yet Allah? :)
Guardian on December 27, 2008 at 6:21 PM
Being a doctor who is daily complimented on his handwriting by nursing staff and explains why, I have to smile. Catholic schools with nuns with rulers, don’t forget.
Marcus on December 27, 2008 at 6:21 PM
Number 1 of course.
BTW when you’re finished reading G.I.N.G. you should read this article, a response by a Catholic writer.
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 6:22 PM
AP I hope for your sake you keep your identity as secret as possible…your very name is probably an affront to certain, shall we say, devout muslims..who don’t take kindly to insults to islam….
right4life on December 27, 2008 at 6:22 PM
Awww, C’mon AP, still don’t believe there’s a Santa Claus? You can still be an atheist, elves ( a jolly ol’ elf, as I recall) aren’t dieties.
As for Hitch’s meaning, I’m going with: May you so successfully state your case that all are convinced and your labors are no longer needed.
trubble on December 27, 2008 at 6:22 PM
Isn’t Allahpundit Ed Morrissey’s alter ego?
rbj on December 27, 2008 at 6:24 PM
AP, I believe you’d provoke that rarest of rare emanations from CH – a chuckle.
BJ* on December 27, 2008 at 6:25 PM
AP, you have always been #1 in this Conservative Christians book! Keep up the great work and Merry Christmas!!!
Ordinary1 on December 27, 2008 at 6:26 PM
You blog a lot about the war on terror. If we ever win it, you’d be “out of a job.” That’s how I read it. Feel better?
RightOFLeft on December 27, 2008 at 6:27 PM
Ampersand
Bad form, man. The man like to drink but I’d guess he writes drunk a thousand times better than you will ever write sober.
Dr. Manhattan on December 27, 2008 at 6:27 PM
That’s my guess too.
FloatingRock on December 27, 2008 at 6:27 PM
I think that Hitch meant that you should stick with your atheism to the point of being run off of a conservative, oogedy-boogedy (to Hitch) site.
But then, this might just be some warped atheist humor on Hitch’s part … you know, utterly meaningless.
progressoverpeace on December 27, 2008 at 6:28 PM
He may not hang out here but I’d bet he’s read your work on more than one occasion.
FloatingRock on December 27, 2008 at 6:31 PM
Just to have a few laughs watching him squirm to find some meaning. :)
FloatingRock on December 27, 2008 at 6:32 PM
Great gift.
Slublog on December 27, 2008 at 6:37 PM
Per trubble:
I think that is the classic use of the term…however it could also be that someone wants to finish the current job so that s/he can move up to another.
But it is odd. If Hitch were writing this to an atheist advocacy site then the meaning would be clear. But AP’s job is not strictly that.
Regardless, it is a cool gift.
r keller on December 27, 2008 at 6:40 PM
Comment number two on the post from last year’s Christmas present:
Seems she got her man.
jimmy the notable on December 27, 2008 at 6:41 PM
P.S. Your #2 is unlikely. Hitch knows the meaning of words.
r keller on December 27, 2008 at 6:42 PM
I too think it is that you will ultimately prevail in your arguments that your services will no longer be needed. That was my initial thought before reading any commentary.
A feather in your cap.
demigogue on December 27, 2008 at 6:45 PM
I think he means that you and he see eye to eye in so many ways, and of course if there is no body left to convince, you would of course be out of a job…..
No never mind AP….he hates you.
conservnut on December 27, 2008 at 6:45 PM
Wow…even better than last year’s Christmas gift, no?
flipflop on December 27, 2008 at 6:47 PM
Heh. Even atheists like to occupy their time with some games of mystery.
progressoverpeace on December 27, 2008 at 6:52 PM
I don’t believe Allahpundit really exist!
Kjeil on December 27, 2008 at 6:53 PM
Maybe next year MM can get AP something inscribed by Mark D. Roberts:
(emphasis in the original)
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 6:56 PM
He has the impudence to keep his identity a secret from us all
And the arrogance to make us guess
But no, you should not care to know his identity nor his address
No. One is not George the Third and the other is not the Queen of Spain.
PercyB on December 27, 2008 at 7:00 PM
His handwriting could use some work honestly. I always feel rude having to ask what my friends have written on cards for me.
AbaddonsReign on December 27, 2008 at 7:01 PM
All ships leak. Therefore, they must be bailed until they day they sink/run aground.
Count to 10 on December 27, 2008 at 7:03 PM
Is he vulgarian or sleek?
Authoritarian or meek?
I hear he’s steely as you please
I hear he’s really Japanese
He may be shrewd
He may be lewd
Ah well, it’s hard to tell
PercyB on December 27, 2008 at 7:04 PM
I think it’s safe to assume he took “Allahpundit” as suggestive that you’re critical of Islam; hence, should your efforts succeed, Islam would cease to be, and you would be out of a job.
I’m sure the man signs a lot of books, but damn, that’s some rough handwriting.
Blacklake on December 27, 2008 at 7:06 PM
Does hitchens pay you for the ass kissing or do you do it for free?
Darth Executor on December 27, 2008 at 7:07 PM
About half of Hitchens’ brain works so wonderfully and exceptionally well that you can forgive him the other half, the spiritual half–the half that works like a $50 used car in Alaska in January.
RBMN on December 27, 2008 at 7:08 PM
That’s a pretty cool gift, AP. As far as the “meaning” of it goes, just change your hermeneutic and it can mean what you want it to mean. I doubt it’s number two, but even if it were, I would just point to it as another example of my opinion being correct over against his. So no worries!
Weight of Glory on December 27, 2008 at 7:09 PM
April, 2006
That’s a long time to go without anyone reporting your real name.
Count to 10 on December 27, 2008 at 7:10 PM
As far as what does the cryptic inscription mean…
…I can’t help you because it’s been a long time since I’ve had to translate drunkenese.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 7:16 PM
Now, who is this Hitchens guy?
d1carter on December 27, 2008 at 7:16 PM
Well, he’s a busy man but perhaps you could ask him what he means. (Harder to do that with a Bible.)
Tzetzes on December 27, 2008 at 7:16 PM
The first six letters of his name are CHRIST.
He is conflicted and needs help.
Geochelone on December 27, 2008 at 7:17 PM
Oh know,its only the beginning,first off,Hitchens
is coming after the AllahPundits,then the Malkins,
the Entelechy’s,the Manlyrash’s,Conservnuts,the
Kini’s,the…………………….
Hitchens will never trap me down,I’ll be hiding
out in a beaver dam!
Resist,and keep the faith!He he:)
canopfor on December 27, 2008 at 7:22 PM
Very cool!
I’m sure Hitch reads HA and at the same time I’m sure he likes what you write.
Speakup on December 27, 2008 at 7:27 PM
Who is Christoper Hitchens, and why is his handwriting so atrocious?
wccawa on December 27, 2008 at 7:28 PM
The last four mean “bearer”. That’s a heavy weight.
Yes, it was rather poor form (and I’m a fan of Hitchens, warts and all), but there’s no need, as the Apostle put it, to “render evil for evil”. My wife asked me not long ago whether there were a supportive atmosphere at “this HotAir website you always look at”. I had to confess that, while there used to be, there hardly was anymore. Not very good for people who believe in the individual’s ability to govern himself.
Tzetzes on December 27, 2008 at 7:29 PM
Well,Allahpundit,me thinks that Hitchens,religiously
checks out H/A on an hourly basis,along with the
moonbats and Jihadys!
Me thinks he’s taking a velvet or silk style glove
and smacking you up the side of the head in a kind
manner,or sumpin like dat!
And,I think Hitchen’s is saying,kinda,me thinks,
that you two are like a’Band of Brothers’!haha
Allah,(I’m kidding you)haha:):)
canopfor on December 27, 2008 at 7:33 PM
Another question…
…what, exactly, makes this gift ironic?
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 7:33 PM
christmas… god is not great…
egads on December 27, 2008 at 7:35 PM
I’m guessing the fact that it is a Christmas gift.
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 7:43 PM
I would rather be friends with an atheist than a religious hypocrite. And, you know what? God actually prefers an atheist over a religious hypocrite as well.
JellyToast on December 27, 2008 at 7:43 PM
1) God loves everyone – the religious hypocrite AND the atheist.
2) Since every person is a hypocrite at one time or another, I don’t think God distinguishes between the religious hypocrite and the atheist hypocrite.
3) The passage you cited isn’t about hypocrites (see #2 above) – it’s about people with lukewarm faith. In other words, they neither reject God nor fully embrace and commit to their faith.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 7:46 PM
D’oh – I hadn’t thought about that!
I guess I just don’t really see sharing gifts on Christmas morning as solely a religious thing.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 7:48 PM
AP-
When “Allah” is justifiably retired to the museums, lost in dusty display cases next to a quizzical Quetzecoatl and outmoded Moloch and back-issue Baal, may you make a fast fortune selling this nifty inscribed copy on ebay …to help tide you over as you search for a new cosmic monicker to mock.
Michelle M. is clearly the best!
A Happy New Year to you and her and all at HA.
profitsbeard on December 27, 2008 at 7:48 PM
Actually it was a persona for APs original (hysterically funny) site, Allah is in the House.
baldilocks on December 27, 2008 at 7:49 PM
The two statements aren’t mutually exclusive.
I’m a little surprised to see you suggest that God isn’t judgmental. Outside of his grace, he certainly is. Whose is outside of his grace? Don’t know for sure but I would guess those who explicitly reject it.
That would be a defining characteristic of a(n) hypocrite.
baldilocks on December 27, 2008 at 7:54 PM
It isn’t solely religious I don’t think but religious enough that sharing anti-theist themed gifts could be considered ironic. /my two cents
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 7:55 PM
All men have the right to dig their own graves, and others have the right to give them the shovels.
apacalyps on December 27, 2008 at 8:02 PM
Yes they are. The first statement was a statement of comparison (God likes something more than another), the second statement wasn’t (God loves everyone equally).
My statement had nothing to do with judgment, it was just pointing out the silliness of making a big deal about hypocrites.
That is – if hypocrisy is a big problem for God, then I doubt He cares a whole lot whether it’s religious hypocrisy or atheistic hypocrisy.
Now, if you want to talk about judgment, we certainly can do that…
…but that certainly wasn’t the point of my post.
Um – no.
The defining characteristic of a hypocrite is the difference between their words and their actions.
And we are not told about what these people claim to be – what their ‘words’ are.
All we know is that they are fence sitters.
And a fence sitter is a bit different than a hypocrite.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 8:04 PM
Nice gift.
With a wink about the athiest thing
hillbillyjim on December 27, 2008 at 8:04 PM
Giving an atheist that book is like handing arsenic to a suicidal teen.
A Bible would do much more for AP (& the teen).
jgapinoy on December 27, 2008 at 8:06 PM
Shut up!! So awesome!
And I’m going with option 3. That’s the context in which I’ve always heard it used, as in Mikhail Gorbachev.
Tanya on December 27, 2008 at 8:06 PM
Hitchens probably knows zilch about Allahpundit and, when sober, can count on one hand the number of times he’s been to HotAir. He probably assumed that Allahpundit was some professional internet scourge of theists struggling to spread atheism. “Working himself out of a job” would mean finally defeating religion. Ha-ha-ha.
Considering that Christmas was not a very widely celebrated holiday in the U.S. during Jefferson’s life it would have been odd for him to have wished anyone a “Merry Christmas!” Among New Englanders, for instance, the holiday was considered blasphemous. Christmas didn’t become a national holiday until 1870. I doubt that in the United States the “wish” was widely offered, if it existed all, until Jefferson had been long buried.
CK MacLeod on December 27, 2008 at 8:09 PM
Nice gift.
My fauxlego terrorist/suicide bombers have yet to arrive.
BL@KBIRD on December 27, 2008 at 8:11 PM
Hmmm…
…maybe Hitchens needs to do some more research about Jefferson and Christmas:
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 8:16 PM
So, let’s compare and contrast:
Hitchens’ opinion of history:
The real history:
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 8:22 PM
The Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, an organized religion, on earth. Are you admitting that you are part of an organized religion, albeit a bitter, angry one? Perhaps that’s the real “allah” connection.
peacenprosperity on December 27, 2008 at 8:28 PM
I’m a bit curious,
how was ‘the good book’delivered,
by FedEx,UPS,or a map and the Bible,
tied around ‘Unicorn Jone’s neck,the
loveable Unicorn from’Red Eye!Hehe.
canopfor on December 27, 2008 at 8:29 PM
RZ,
It is possible Hitchens may be referring to Jefferson’s statements as a politician regarding Christmas i.e. “the compliments of the season, which may have been as far as he was willing to go in public.
Did Jefferson publicly celebrate and affirm Christmas? If not then to what extent do you believe his private celebration and affection for Christmas signifies if anything?
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 8:30 PM
Lighten up, Francis.
SnarkVader on December 27, 2008 at 8:32 PM
It’s a gift from one atheist to another so it can mean whatever they want it to mean. Seriously, Allahpundit, I think the Lord judges us on the desires and intents of our hearts, so you and Hitchens should be mostly OK.
WasatchMan on December 27, 2008 at 8:37 PM
Yikes. Do you think there are people here who aren’t aware of his past? I’d never even thought of that possibility. I’ve been missing that particular wit much of late.
Allah. You need to do a reprise. That was some of the funniest sh!t evah!
nukemhill on December 27, 2008 at 8:42 PM
FAIL. Learn to use correct grammar before you bash someone else.
Ian on December 27, 2008 at 8:42 PM
Highly cryptic. After effects of waterboarding no doubt.
RobCon on December 27, 2008 at 8:44 PM
I have no idea what Hitchens was referring to, but he has a history of distorting and just plain getting wrong historical facts concerning religion.
That said, I think if Hitchens wanted to make a difference between private and public, he probably would have.
I’m not quite sure what kind of dichotomy you are trying to make or even why it would make any difference.
Hitchens made an overarching proclamation that was easily proved wrong with 2 minutes of googleling.
It is fairly obvious that Jefferson did not find the Christmas season a ‘distraught season.’
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 8:45 PM
There is always the possibility that he has so many of those books stacked up everywhere that he has to send them out to anyone he can think of so he can fit the car back into the garage.
tballard on December 27, 2008 at 8:47 PM
Maybe I’ve got you all wrong, but here goes:
I’ve always thought of you as an anti-jihadist. To me, you’re a 9/11 conservative — not necessarily a culture warrior or a pure Reagan conservative.
So I would interpret Hitch’s inscription to mean that he hopes you are successful in helping to win the war against Islamofascism in the realm of ideas — and therefore can retire from blogging with victory assured.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year anyway, even if Hitch wrote that under the influence of his favorite vodka or Scotch….
Anton on December 27, 2008 at 8:52 PM
If he knew you were making this big of a fuss over something he scribbled in a book cover to a fellow pundit, he would blow out a kidney laughing at you. Just saying.
Tanya on December 27, 2008 at 8:55 PM
Seeing as I have committed my life to Christ – a being Hitchens not only believes is mythological, but also, somehow, bad/evil…
…I’m sure he would laugh at just about anything I said.
That said, it’s still important to point out his continual -ahem- problem with getting simple and basic facts correct when it comes to religion and faith.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 8:58 PM
Understandably. I was just taken with the fact that you left nine comments about it, not the fact that you were disagreeing with his quip.
Tanya on December 27, 2008 at 9:05 PM
He’s hoping you get fired so he can hire you to bathe and dress him in the morning.
Buddahpundit on December 27, 2008 at 9:06 PM
christopher hitchens is just another lunatic Obama supporter.
Who cares about what that stupid, angry, drunk man writes?
SaintOlaf on December 27, 2008 at 9:08 PM
Likewise…
…I’m taken with the fact that you felt compelled to actually count the number of my posts and comment upon that.
I’ve always wondered why some people felt the need to make a big deal about when, where and how often someone else posted.
I always thought that the whole point of places like this is for us to post on what we find interesting.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 9:14 PM
I was just wondering whether or not Jefferson was proclaiming a kind of mild secular season in public while celebrating the whole Christmas in private.
I suppose it wouldn’t make any real difference in the world.
We know that leftists already treat private statements by Jefferson (“wall of separation”) as if they were part of the US Constitution. I am curious though.
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 9:16 PM
Francis?
jgapinoy on December 27, 2008 at 9:16 PM
You must live a sad, hate-filled little life. It was a very thoughtful gesture from Michelle to Allahpundit, regardless of whether or not you find Hitchens to be worthy of reading.
I don’t agree with Hitchens on a lot of things, but he is always an enjoyable read.
Broaden your horizons a little, and you may learn a lot.
hillbillyjim on December 27, 2008 at 9:17 PM
It’s obvious Hitchens is proud of AP’s advocating on behalf of atheists, perhaps to the point of being fired from a conservative blog.
I think that meaning was quite obvious.
keep the change on December 27, 2008 at 9:19 PM
I haven’t studied a whole lot of Jefferson…
…but what I have has indicated a complicated man who often changed what he thought about things.
Thus, taking one statement and saying “Thus saith Jefferson” is missing the larger point.
The guy pulled a Marcion on the Bible…
…yet wrote in his own Bible “I am a Christian.”
He came up with the concept of the wall of separation…
…yet used federal funds to pay for Christian missionaries to Native Americans.
The only thing I AM sure about, is that if Jefferson would come back today…
…he would have problems with BOTH sides and how they use him for their arguments.
Religious_Zealot on December 27, 2008 at 9:20 PM
You have to admit though that Hitchens engages in very bitter invective and tosses out insults on every whim.
A well-written insult can be appreciated for its own sake but its not uptight to recoil when you’re at the receiving end of his abuse.
The same thing could be said about Hitchens himself.
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 9:21 PM
Egads.
The whole deal is that Hitchens is hoping for the day when everyone is an atheist.
The Jefferson bit was just a high-five, with implied snark at the Christmas season.
hillbillyjim on December 27, 2008 at 9:24 PM
Jeez. No offense intended. You left nine comments about a 19 word sentence. I’m not trying to stifle your muse or anything, I just thought it was funny. Lighten up.
Tanya on December 27, 2008 at 9:25 PM
Thanks. That is a good response.
I don’t accept the modern view of Jefferson as an untouchable genius.
In 1812 he said that the annexation of Canada was “a mere matter of marching” which I think shows that he had greater skill at alliteration than war designs.
aengus on December 27, 2008 at 9:29 PM
Yes, and yes. However, SaintOlaf makes a habit of squalling about everything with which he disagrees, to the point of absurdity, using religion as his cover. It is tiresome to say the least, and has gotten decidedly worse since Nov. 4.
LOL. I’m sure it has been said a number of times.
hillbillyjim on December 27, 2008 at 9:33 PM
I can’t believe I didn’t think of this…but then, neither did any of you.
Here is Hitch’s evil scheme:
Send “gift” to Michelle, saying it’s for AP.
Michelle forwards “gift” to AP.
AP recieves it, unaware of the satellite feed embedded in the tome. Now Hitch knows AP’s location, & soon his identity.
jgapinoy on December 27, 2008 at 9:35 PM
You contradicted yourself. Like and Love are not the same things. Therefore God can both like some things more than other things and love all of us equally. And that means that the statements are not mutually exclusive.
Comparisons (liking some things more than other things) are by their very nature judgment. I’m not trying rude but you seem to be talking about concepts without thinking them through to their logical conclusions.
I’m already talking about it and so are you. But perhaps you are referring to Big J-judgment. Let me know.
I used my words very carefully when responding. I said that ‘A’ defining characteristic of hypocrisy is fence-sitting, not that such ‘The’ defining characteristic of same. There are others.
baldilocks on December 27, 2008 at 9:36 PM
I forgot to give my 13 yr old son Isaac credit for deciphering the evil plot.
jgapinoy on December 27, 2008 at 9:36 PM
That’s really what it boils down to…hitchens is a dishonest propagandist. If this was any other subject he would be bombarded with lawsuits.
SaintOlaf on December 27, 2008 at 9:37 PM
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