What Christmas carols could you do without?
posted at 11:00 am on December 24, 2008 by Ed Morrissey
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In this joyous time of year, when Christmas carols ringing from every speaker and cell phone in every retail shop, few of us would voice complaints about the incessantly repeated songs that find our laaaaast nerve … and stomp all over it. Don’t get me wrong — I love Christmas carols, but not every one is a gem, and the worst seem to get the most airplay. I’d be thrilled if I didn’t get to hear the following songs for, well, the rest of my life:
- Santa Baby (Madonna version): I love the Eartha Kitt original. It’s a cute and satirical look at the most utilitarian look at Christmas. Madonna’s version makes my skin crawl. It replaces cute and kittenish with screechiness and about as much subtlety as one would see on the streets of Las Vegas.
- Happy Christmas (War Is Over), aka And So This Is Christmas: Without the War Is Over chorus, it’s a weakly-written poetic attempt at a Hallmark card level. When it veers into War Is Over If You Want It and talk about “the yellow and red ones” [correction provided by the Llama Butchers], it becomes a preachy political chant, and a mindlessly naive one at that, no surprise from John Lennon, who “Imagine”d an end to religion. War isn’t over just because we want it, as 9/11 proved. Sorry, but there are people in the world that want to kill other people, and believing that all we need to do is wish war away is stupid beyond belief.
- Last Christmas: Wham? This breathy jilted-love ballad hardly fits the Christmas spirit, and its upbeat pace makes it a terrible ballad even without Christmas. The enduring life of this dance-hall downer is absolutely inexplicable.
- Wonderful Christmastime (had it originally as “Simply Christmastime”): I’ll spread the love, such as it is, to another Beatle. Paul McCartney’s dully repetitive paen to secular celebration isn’t terrible on the first listen, but by the time you’ve heard it three or four times, you’ll wish it was simply New Year’s Day.
- Christmas Bride - Ray Coniff produced a slew of Christmas classics, so he’s allowed a clunker — and this was it. I’ve only heard it once, and that was enough to send the FM and me into gales of laughter. Someone should get that couple into communications counseling.
I’m more a fan of classics, but I did find one relatively new version of a traditional carol that I really enjoyed. Barenaked Ladies teamed with Sarah McLachlan on “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and gave it a folk-rock treatment that actually works very well. Have a listen:
What carols can you do without, and which are absolute essentials?
Update: A couple of corrections, as noted above. Comments thread is great — be sure to read them all.
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My Filipina wife tells me that many Filipinos playfully mock their president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo whenever they hear “Gloria In Exelsius Deo”–they substitute her name in those syllables, since it fits perfectly.
jgapinoy on December 25, 2008 at 9:53 PM
I actually like it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpkI7GW2V34&feature=related
jgapinoy on December 25, 2008 at 10:05 PM
He’s married to one of the (hot) chicks from Bananarama. And I think he makes surfboards or skateboards or something, for a living, if I recall correctly. I’m sure he doesn’t need the money, though, unless he’s very poor at investments.
What are you doing?
Tanya on December 25, 2008 at 10:06 PM
“Birthday of a King” is one of my grandfather’s favorites.
eaglescout1998 on December 25, 2008 at 11:05 PM
Every Christmas our high school choir would do Handel’s Messiah. Many of the towns people would come with their music and sing along with us. We always had it in our field house which held probably 2,000 people. I am sure that they don’t do it anymore as there are no religious music done in schools anymore. So sad as it just isn’t Christmas anymore without hearing the Messiah.
BetseyRoss on December 25, 2008 at 11:24 PM
Don’t like her politics, but if you don’t get a tear in your eye while listening, …………… well then, you just don’t…
Merry Christmas…………..
Seven Percent Solution on December 26, 2008 at 12:17 AM
I forgot one that I should have not…………..
……………. forgive me John, Rest in Peace.
Seven Percent Solution on December 26, 2008 at 12:19 AM
Since I was born and raised in PR, Spanish language Christmas songs are favorites of mine - it’s what I was raised with. And that’s what I have on my iPod to play for Christmas! (BTW: since Christmas is celebrated Puerto Rican-style at home, we do all twelve days! Yep: even Three Kings Day - January 6!)
My 2-year-old daughter dances to Feliz Navidad. We have such varied music to play and dance to! Christmas parties in Puerto Rico are never dull! But some get a little out of hand with the alcohol content…
We also like Guaraldi’s music for A Charlie Brown Christmas. My husband read to our daughter the Charlie Brown Christmas book, while I played the CD in the background on cue, and when the climax arrived, I took the sound and light ornament we have of Linus reciting “What Christmas is All About” and played it to the little one! She liked it!
Love hearing Josh Groban sing! That voice!
I can’t stand Madonna… especially singing that Santa Baby like a total skank! (I thought she wasn’t supposed to sing those! Isn’t she a Kaballah practitioner?)
newton on December 26, 2008 at 2:18 AM
I get a little annoyed (very annoyed, actually) whenever I hear contemporary singers perform the traditional hymns as though they were auditioning for American Idol. Case in point:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNGcJooLLB8
eaglescout1998 on December 26, 2008 at 2:28 AM
Preach it, eaglescout.
U2 recently released a remake of Greg Lake’s “Father Christmas” that is quite enjoyable. They shaved a touch if the cynicism and unbelief from it, which is an improvement. I’d post a link but I can’t do so from my iPhone.
mcg on December 26, 2008 at 9:21 AM
Most secular Christmas Carols get on my nerves, just because they’re so annoying. Even regular carols are performed horribly these days. The big exception is “I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” That’s a great song.
Aronne on December 26, 2008 at 9:40 AM
Drummer Boy. When I hear the first stanza I know the torture begins.
The Twelve Days of Christmas doth grind my patience to pulp.
The sentiment is good, but What Child is This, sung to Greensleeves is somewhat depressing for the tone of the music, not the words
I also dislike Ave Maria done as a singing exhibition. I recently heard a redition by three priests that was beautiful because they sang with humility. The CD is The Priests.
I did not used to mind the chorus of Handel’s Messiah used in entertainment to indentify a ‘eureka’ moment but in this secular era of insulting Christianity, I dislike it used to imply a moment of climax - with a girl, winning a promotion, or vanquishing enemies in profane manner. I especially dislike it used to sell things. This is because of the double standard that does not allow the same song to be played with reverence in the same venues
entagor on December 26, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Drummer Boy. And most of the secular songs.
Still, I like almost all of Bing Crosby’s Christmas songs.
alice on December 26, 2008 at 12:27 PM
The masters at work here… beyond compare
defendfaithandfamily on December 26, 2008 at 12:44 PM
The Beach Boys have a stupid Christmas song with one of the worst lines in any recorded song.
“Christmas comes this time each year.”
Between that and the Paul McCartney one, whenever they come on the radio, I pray to God for two icepicks and the courage to shove them into my ears.
Pcoop on December 26, 2008 at 2:26 PM
@newton got any suggestions? I’m not sure what aguinaldos are worth getting on itunes and my family didn’t do so much of that, at least while I was growing up. (my older sisters had more family around and probably did more of that).
I’ve found that when I was growing up in NYC, the radio station(s) that did the 24 hours of Christmas (Z100 usually) tended to play the more odd ball Christmas songs. When I moved here to San Diego, it was rare that I’d hear Father Christmas or Christmas Wrapping by the Kinks or Waitresses respectively but I heard them all the time on Z100. Personally I like the zanier ones though the “12 things of christmas that’s such a pain to me” gets old quick.
h0mi on December 27, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Love, love, love that BNL/Sarah McLachlan version of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” That and almost any Frank Sinatra Christmas song, except a verion of the 12 Days in which his children extol the virtues of their dear father. Complete with lavendar ties, this is a barfer. 10 on a scale of 10.
gemchick on December 27, 2008 at 7:23 PM
There’s usually one or two strong songs out each Christmas season. Peace On Earth by Casting Crowns belongs in that category
Tongueboy on December 29, 2008 at 9:52 AM
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