“Seven days of sex” pastor: I couldn’t do it
posted at 5:30 pm on November 24, 2008 by Allahpundit
Is marriage really this tough? They couldn’t carve out half an hour a day of nookie for seven days — for a program he himself initiated?
Exit question: Beta males 1, married men 0?
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What a waste of penis!
leetpriest on November 24, 2008 at 5:34 PM
Yes, Marriage is that hard.
And no, Obama paying my gas money or mortgage wouldn’t help.
dc84123 on November 24, 2008 at 5:34 PM
7? Charla Muller managed to make it 365.
RightOFLeft on November 24, 2008 at 5:35 PM
Half an hour? You’ve never been married I take it.
txsurveyor on November 24, 2008 at 5:35 PM
He needed more little boys…
Firebird on November 24, 2008 at 5:35 PM
Wrong denomination and also messed up.
Esthier on November 24, 2008 at 5:36 PM
He failed. He needs a bail out.
JellyToast on November 24, 2008 at 5:36 PM
Marriage is a lot of hard work. However, how many beta males have had sex 7 days in a row? Married men have more sex than single men. That should mean something, right?
:o)
Joan of Argghh on November 24, 2008 at 5:37 PM
Women need to feel loved BEFORE making love.
Men need to make love BEFORE they feel loved.
FYI – I have a Master’s degree in counseling.
ny59giants on November 24, 2008 at 5:39 PM
Half an hour? You do it five times a day?
mcg on November 24, 2008 at 5:41 PM
Half an hour? I’d kill for 30 minutes. With 3 kids, nicknamed BC1, BC2, & BC3, I’d kill for more than 5. If we can manage it, this guy could.
Beta males still loose, though, by virtue of being, well, beta.
Anna on November 24, 2008 at 5:42 PM
There ya’ go, Make Love, not more taxes…..
DL13 on November 24, 2008 at 5:43 PM
What a lightweight.
SillyRyno on November 24, 2008 at 5:43 PM
Beta males still lose since he still got laid 6 times.
SpencerFan on November 24, 2008 at 5:47 PM
I still can’t believe these two are discussing their sex life on CNN. I nearly checked out when the commentator mentioned he had a ‘graphic’ to share.
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 5:47 PM
Or, as a comedienne (Rita Rudner, I believe) once said: “Women need a reason to have sex – men just need a place.”
thirteen28 on November 24, 2008 at 5:48 PM
The only difference between beta males and married men is that we don’t have someone nagging us to do chores. In terms of sex, it’s pretty much a wash (according to my married friends, anyway).
Enrique on November 24, 2008 at 5:53 PM
LOL..Indeed. Some of us just can’t “do” it on our own it seems. He must be a liberal.
Dritanian on November 24, 2008 at 5:56 PM
True confession time.
My wife and I conceived our first child on our first attempt, our theory and we are sticking to it (figuratively and literally). The second child took a while. We hit it hard every other day and have to admit it became a job and not an adventure. I hung in there (figuratively speaking) and have to admit I enjoyed the ride, albeit a long and tedious affair to say the least.
David in ATL on November 24, 2008 at 5:57 PM
Another instance of conservatives ‘injecting politics into the bedroom.’
/sarc
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 5:59 PM
Moderates make it every day and twice on Sundays…
Bradky on November 24, 2008 at 5:59 PM
Yeaaahhhhhhh… You take away the spontaneity and where’s the fun?
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 6:00 PM
He failed. He needs a bail out.
JellyToast on November 24, 2008 at 5:36 PM
If this pastors wife looks anything like Huckabee’s count me out of any bailout deal.
UT Cowboy on November 24, 2008 at 6:00 PM
That’s how I look at it.
Allahpundit on November 24, 2008 at 6:01 PM
Wimp.
whitetop on November 24, 2008 at 6:01 PM
Not according to my married friends. They tell me marriage is the best way to not have a good sex life. They seem a lot more interesting in hearing about my adventures as a single man, they telling me about their adventures in marraige.
firepilot on November 24, 2008 at 6:02 PM
Let’s nationalize his wife.
BadgerHawk on November 24, 2008 at 6:03 PM
I just want to say that I am sick of seeing the word “lose” spelt as “loose” and vice versa.
And no… I’m not getting any.
Bob Feeblethorp on November 24, 2008 at 6:03 PM
Half a minute is more like it!
lorien1973 on November 24, 2008 at 6:05 PM
Does your wife know about the affair?
If a guy is married and it’s a wash, he’s doing something wrong. Time for paying a little attention to his wife, or else time for counseling.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on November 24, 2008 at 6:05 PM
Dude’s weak.
He’s probably thinking of what to say about it in his sermons when he’s supposed to be gittin er done.
Speaking of which, my wife’s home. Gotta run! :-)
Good Lt on November 24, 2008 at 6:05 PM
Lack of sex makes you grumpy ;)
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 6:06 PM
God Lord..She must be to big to fail…
Dritanian on November 24, 2008 at 6:06 PM
Oh no! Coffee sprayed all over my keyboard!
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 6:07 PM
Marraige is work, but if you marry the right person for the right reasons it’s a lot better than being single. The toughest part is the mis-matched work schedules and her f’in cats climbing into bed every night now that it’s winter. Nothing kills the mood like having a cat lick your forehead while you’re, um, nevermind.
BadgerHawk on November 24, 2008 at 6:08 PM
Man up. Dude should have spent less times doing interviews and more time doing his wife.
What a HORRIBLE representation of married sex. Here’s some tips for the humping-challenged:
1) Wake up a little earlier.
2) Go to bed a little earlier…together.
3) Do it while watching Seinfeld reruns, Cops or C-SPAN. (Laughter causes some interesting physiological responses.)
4) STFU and hit it like a Nascar crash test dummy.
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 6:08 PM
Only half-an-hour? You need to learn some Tantra practices.
nukemhill on November 24, 2008 at 6:08 PM
Dritanian,
I thought mine was good, but you win the thread hands down.
BadgerHawk on November 24, 2008 at 6:08 PM
Exit question: Beta males 1, married men 0?
Duh.
I R A Darth Aggie on November 24, 2008 at 6:09 PM
But do you actually have more sex than they do, or just more sex with different personalities?
Yeah, married sex can get boring and stale, but most people still have more sex in marriage than outside it.
Esthier on November 24, 2008 at 6:10 PM
And drink lots of water. It’ll help replenish things.
Esthier on November 24, 2008 at 6:11 PM
And it sure beats the heck out of robots and the sears catalog!
Bradky on November 24, 2008 at 6:13 PM
If you men want to have more sex w/ your wives, talk to her more. Invest a few hours (yes hours!) everyday just talking w/ her. You will be meeting her number one emotional need and she will FEEL loved by you. And when your woman feels loved, she is more than ready to give it.
I highly recommend HIs Needs Her Needs by Dr. Harley.
Marsh on November 24, 2008 at 6:13 PM
Nothing in those textbooks about ****ing, huh? What role does straight up, sweaty, tail-tapping play in feeling loved?
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 6:14 PM
Where is Christ crucified for our atonement from sin and eternal death in all of this?
Nowhere?
Then this man who claims to be a Christian minister has failed in a matter far more important than his copulatory habits.
Scribbler on November 24, 2008 at 6:14 PM
HEAAllled!!
Feel better now?
Bradky on November 24, 2008 at 6:16 PM
Improve your sex life in two easy steps…
Keep your eyes open during sex.
Read Passionate Marriage.
Marsh on November 24, 2008 at 6:17 PM
I’ll bet Scribbler’s the life of the dinner party.
mcg on November 24, 2008 at 6:17 PM
I go to this church, unfortunately I am single and had to eat chocolate cake. We must remember to keep this in the context of a Christian marriage and a strong belief of God. The exercise was not to have more sex, but to recommit to the intimacy that has been lost for whatever reason. To get to the sex you have to reinitiate the bond and deal with the disconnects of the marriage.
ricor on November 24, 2008 at 6:18 PM
A whole chapter about it in Passionate Marriage!
Marsh on November 24, 2008 at 6:18 PM
Hydration is a good thing.
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 6:20 PM
You keep looking at the main event. Afterwards is just important – cuddling up with your significant other and watching an afternoon of Lifetime movies moves you up in the batting order for the next time ;)
Bradky on November 24, 2008 at 6:23 PM
I imagine this is a lot easier if they don’t require the sex has to be with one’s wife.
Sign of the Dollar on November 24, 2008 at 6:24 PM
Just don’t talk to her too much, lest she get tired. That’s a problem with us. He’s usually interested right when I want to go to sleep.
That was the advise we gave to a coworker. He and his wife were trying to have a baby, and he was complaining about all the sex.
My husband told him to man up and drink water.
Esthier on November 24, 2008 at 6:24 PM
It isn’t the sex that is exhausting, it’s the hours of begging…
right2bright on November 24, 2008 at 6:26 PM
What’s so sexy about a pair of eyes staring through a paper bag?
Sign of the Dollar on November 24, 2008 at 6:28 PM
That doesn’t really do anything for me.
Taking a bath together, specifically somewhere we can’t actually do anything and thus must prolong things, actually does though.
Esthier on November 24, 2008 at 6:28 PM
WWJD?
Well, if you are to emulate Jesus, then you don’t get married…and you certainly wouldn’t have sex everyday for a week, shouldn’t you rest on the seventh?
But at lease you could comfort the whores, and it would fall into His teachings.
right2bright on November 24, 2008 at 6:28 PM
Mail order I presume…
right2bright on November 24, 2008 at 6:33 PM
Do you watch him do you? Watch him climax?
yeah, that’s good too
Marsh on November 24, 2008 at 6:34 PM
I have found no better excuse for lazy-eyed fun than waking up in the middle of the night “for a drink of water.”
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 6:35 PM
I’m guessing your copy of that book has made for some great ***-smacking.
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 6:37 PM
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!! Best comment of the day. I’m crying!!
portlandon on November 24, 2008 at 6:42 PM
Now if that dont scream out Beta male, I am not sure what does! haha
firepilot on November 24, 2008 at 6:49 PM
No disrespect to those who are taking this seriously, but you have to realize that this isn’t the place for a real discussion about improving your married sex life.
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 6:49 PM
Secret to long and happy marriage is touch. Women LOVE to be touched, and touched well. And earnestly listened to.
Make time for the most precious person in your life. Listen to her. Spend time with her. Please her and you will be happy.
Married almost 30 years now, and blessedly so. Turn off the TV and the computer and spend time with your Beloved. Do it before both of you run out of energy. Make love in the early afternoon. Don’t wait till evening when you’re both too tired. It’s important and it makes all the difference in the world.
Make it a point to ‘date’ your Beloved.
Remember, the secret to happiness is little tiny circles. The wise (and the female), will know what this means.
I don’t agree that marriage is work or a chore at all. If it is, you’re not doing it right.
But maybe I’m just one of the blessed. I got one of those excellent women more prized than rubies, or so says the Bible. And I am very thankful for it.
All else pales.
techno_barbarian on November 24, 2008 at 6:50 PM
techno_barbarian on November 24, 2008 at 6:50 PM
Great post.
Marsh on November 24, 2008 at 6:52 PM
This thread is crying out for the return of ManlyRash.
hump1201 on November 24, 2008 at 6:56 PM
Okay. That’s it. I’m officially out of here.
Dee2008 on November 24, 2008 at 6:57 PM
Hey unmarried guys-this means you can’t piss off your wife for seven straight days. Good luck.
Little Boomer on November 24, 2008 at 6:57 PM
This entire thread is TMI.
The country is falling apart. The specter of Tom Joad is looming large. I don’t give a rat’s patootie about anyone’s sex life.
ramrocks on November 24, 2008 at 7:02 PM
Over that???? Its like some expect Hotair to be the online equivalent of a church social.
firepilot on November 24, 2008 at 7:16 PM
OK Grampa, we’ll keep the noise down!
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 7:17 PM
In the very first chapter of Genesis, right after God had created man and woman, he gave them several commandments. What was the very first commandment given to man by God — the very first one?
Marking Time on November 24, 2008 at 7:29 PM
Umm – the way I count it it’s beta males 0, married men 3 or 4…
omriceren on November 24, 2008 at 7:37 PM
Yeah, I don’t get that either. If a happily married man of 30 years wants to share his wisdom, why take offense? If you find it distasteful, move on.
Marsh on November 24, 2008 at 7:38 PM
Actually, from Clemson University.
I have “tried” to get men to understand the differences between the sexes and I’m a male. Some guys just don’t know or more importantly, don’t want to take the time to understand what it takes to make love to a women vs. just have sex. Like others have said, they are plenty of books out there that help and/or they can actually ask the women in their life for the answers.
ny59giants on November 24, 2008 at 7:58 PM
Yes, statistically speaking, married men do have sex more often, with more fulfillment.
jgapinoy on November 24, 2008 at 8:04 PM
So that’s all you talk about all day every day?
I’ll bet your wife is miserable.
jgapinoy on November 24, 2008 at 8:06 PM
Reminds me of an old song.
jgapinoy on November 24, 2008 at 8:09 PM
AP, whacking off for 7 straight days doesn’t count. Sorry.
fossten on November 24, 2008 at 8:31 PM
There’s a time and place for everything. In the Divine Service, it is the time and place to receive God’s gifts of forgiveness, life, and salvation through His Word and Sacraments.
At the gas station, it is the time and place to fill one’s gas tank.
In the bedroom, it is the time and place for rest and pleasure.
But I am saying nothing any reasonable person couldn’t suss out for himself. The fact that some of the correspondents in this forum seem not to understand this simple principle of time and place causes one to wonder who left the door unlocked at the institution….
Scribbler on November 24, 2008 at 8:43 PM
Man, all I need is a little flash of boobie and I’m ready any time, any place, any day, repeatedly if necessary. If my wife was holding a cold beer AND flashed me some boob, Katy bar the door…
Wyznowski on November 24, 2008 at 9:06 PM
“In Russia, p*ssy licks YOU!”
Alex_SF on November 24, 2008 at 9:26 PM
Also statistically speaking, everybody has one breast and one testicle.
Alex_SF on November 24, 2008 at 9:27 PM
One word, Rev: “chafing.”
Sometimes it’s just safer to cuddle.
sulla on November 24, 2008 at 9:27 PM
Good points. My wife and I were 2/7 that week.
Mojave Mark on November 24, 2008 at 9:36 PM
Thank you for that mental picture. I need a cold shower now.
manwithblackhat on November 24, 2008 at 9:43 PM
You actually make more sense than that minister guy. I think he was just looking for an excuse to get in the news. Keep it up (so to speak).
manwithblackhat on November 24, 2008 at 9:46 PM
No, I meant… keep up the good work. Yeah, that’s it.
manwithblackhat on November 24, 2008 at 9:46 PM
“Married men have more sex than single men”
True…
but the price they pay is alot higher….
sbark on November 24, 2008 at 10:07 PM
Okay, faddah, here’s the breakdown:
First day (or night), honey.
Second day, strawberries.
Third day, tangy navel orange.
Fourth day, bitter chocolate creme mints.
Fifth day, Amaretto
Sixth day, whipped cream.
Seventh day, champagne.
Yuz gotta bypass the rartional mind, padre.
The id is where it’s oceanically steamy.
profitsbeard on November 24, 2008 at 10:21 PM
The whole idea is flawed to begin with. Having sex for the sake of sex isn’t what marriage is supposed to be about. It’s supposed to foster sincere expressions of love, not be a “to-do” on a list for the day. It devolves sex from love making to, well, sex.
The whole idea is stupid to begin with. A sex-a-thon doesn’t make a good marriage. No wonder the stupid pastor couldn’t do it himself.
Amy Proctor on November 24, 2008 at 10:58 PM
Ask your husband if he would be interested in at least giving it a try. Let us know the answer. (Be sure not to use your Hillaryesque beatdown tone when you ask him.)
The whole point is not the sex-a-thon aspect. Rather it is the collaborative effort at achieving and establishing greater intimacy. If you can’t hump your husband or wife just because, then you guys have more to talk about than humping.
There have been some great ideas tossed off in here. Other than the cat-licking I suggest you give some of them a try. Surprise your husband by jumping in the shower with him or spell something sexy with the ketchup next to his fries…anything.
Bathe in beer and wear his favorite team’s jersey to bed.
Figure it out. Take your tone down a notch. Drop your drawers and hang on for a fun ride.
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 11:22 PM
Hey cavedude! Show some respect for the womenfolk.
The Race Card on November 24, 2008 at 11:30 PM
I agree with Amy on this one. The problem with too many relationships today is exactly that they are based on superficial sex.
Hawthorne on November 25, 2008 at 1:19 AM
Nothing personal, since I know it’s well meaning advice, but for once I would like to hear what a woman should do to help out in the love department.
DFCtomm on November 25, 2008 at 1:50 AM
His Needs / Her needs actually does cover things a woman should do.
been a few years since I read it, but it seemed like sound advice.
sulla on November 25, 2008 at 2:06 AM
Seriously. If married men aren’t getting any, they probably aren’t paying much attention to their wives. Women only want to avoid sex if they a) feels like they’re being forced to do it or b) they feel like their husbands are neglecting them emotionally.
Personally, I love my husband a lot and I feel very loved by him, and so he can have whatever, whenever, as long as I’m not really sick. ;) We’ve only been married 2 years, sure, but we do have a 7 month old daughter and everything is still as awesome as when we were first married. Pregnancy was no barrier even.
If you’re not getting any and you’re married, you probably need to work on your emotional relationship with your wife. And that’s a fact.
Christina D on November 25, 2008 at 2:13 AM
This guys got the right idea. I hope more people try the challenge…weekly ;)
kanda on November 25, 2008 at 8:49 AM
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