The obligatory “Jacko converts to Islam” post

posted at 5:00 pm on November 21, 2008 by Allahpundit

Too good to check. He’s already got the abaya; he might as well go the whole nine yards.

Good news for Muslims: Your image problem is solved.

Jacko sat on the floor wearing a tiny hat after an Imam was summoned to officiate — days before the singer is due to appear at London’s High Court where he is being sued by an Arab sheik…

The source said: “They began talking to him about their beliefs, and how they thought they had become better people after they converted. Michael soon began warming to the idea.

“An Imam was summoned from the mosque and Michael went through the shahada, which is the Muslim declaration of belief.” Mikaeel is the name of one of Allah’s angels.

“Jacko rejected an alternative name, Mustafa — meaning “the chosen one”.

Brit singer Yousef Islam, 60 — who was called Cat Stevens until he famously converted — turned up to help Jacko celebrate.

Jermaine’s been after him to do it for years. Best-case scenario: An end to compulsive crotch-grabbing in concert peppered with occasional appearances as a goodwill ambassador a la Muhammad Ali. Worst-case scenario: A 20-year hiatus from recording peppered with occasional death wishes for heretics. Exit admission: They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.


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when I was at the gym recently

Allah goes to the gym?

amerpundit on November 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM

Very good, a homosexual pedophile is finally among peers.

epluribusunum on November 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM

OK, can’t resist the temptation:

While the ROP allows pedophilia (because mohammed did it) someone should have told him that they kill people over same sex unions.

wildcat84 on November 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM

Muslims don’t believe in Free will, right? So that means Allah planned Michael’s life, didn’t he?

What kind of messed up diety would plan this out for anyone?

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:04 PM

Good news for Muslims: Your image problem is solved.

Yes, they are soooooo compatible.

On a serious note, they so deserve each other.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:04 PM

amerpundit on November 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM

I was gonna do it. But I didn’t want to rag on AP -yet- again!

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:04 PM

In Jacko’s case, I believe Sharia requires him to wear a Burkha. [Common sense dictates that as well.]

coldwarrior on November 21, 2008 at 5:04 PM

When asked about his perspective on social issues—gay marriage, abortion—Guess Who? tapped his Bible and said, “God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, ‘Enough.’ ”

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2008/11/god-came-to-earth-and-saw-people.html

ninjapirate on November 21, 2008 at 5:05 PM

What kind of messed up diety would plan this out for anyone?

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:04 PM

Nominated for Quote of the Day.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:05 PM

Maybe Jacko and Cat can pass around a few little boys as a welcome to Islam celebration.

Kuffar on November 21, 2008 at 5:06 PM

OT – the etrade baby shouldn’t have invested in clowns.

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:06 PM

Nominated for Quote of the Day.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:05 PM

That’s two for me today! KA-CHING!

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:06 PM

They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.

No, I haven’t listened to it in a while. But I did hear Laura Branigan’s Laura, does that count?

keep the change on November 21, 2008 at 5:07 PM

Good Lord they can have him.

Tommy_G on November 21, 2008 at 5:07 PM

I thought everybody knew that it converted to islam years ago..

SaintOlaf on November 21, 2008 at 5:07 PM

Maybe he can recruit Amy Winehouse to Islam too, and get her under a burka so we don’t have to look at her anymore.

RBMN on November 21, 2008 at 5:08 PM

Islam has officially jumped the shark. First racism, now this…..when do we get the Jihadist Survivor Reality Show?

HornetSting on November 21, 2008 at 5:08 PM

What a freak. And good lord — his poor kids — there’s no way they’re turning out normal, is there?

CP on November 21, 2008 at 5:10 PM

That’s two for me today! KA-CHING!

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:06 PM

So well deserved!

p.s. just btw. us – it’s “deity” :)

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:11 PM

How is he going to grow a beard on that plastic face?

PappaMac on November 21, 2008 at 5:12 PM

epluribusunum:

Hey, gotta give the guy some credit for atleast knowing his place.
MJ is a freak, lets be honest here.

lgodfrey88 on November 21, 2008 at 5:12 PM

Suddenly cartoon and teddy bear protesters aren’t the craziest Muslims? Well done universe. You win

Greenhelmet on November 21, 2008 at 5:13 PM

epluribusunum:

Hey, gotta give the guy some credit for atleast knowing his place.
MJ is a freak, lets be honest here.

lgodfrey88 on November 21, 2008 at 5:12 PM

You’re just jealous the Muslim tent is wider than the GOP one.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:13 PM

How is he going to grow a beard on that plastic face?

PappaMac on November 21, 2008 at 5:12 PM

I would imagine he has lots of “sticky” stuff on his face from time to time which would help a fake beard adhere.

Tim Zank on November 21, 2008 at 5:15 PM

Now he can lie to the non-believers and still get his 26 pre-pubescent boys.

infidel on November 21, 2008 at 5:15 PM

He will change his name to Haid al Salaami

faraway on November 21, 2008 at 5:15 PM

Exit admission: They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.

Yep, great record, no matter how nuts he is or how uncool it might be to admit it.

forest on November 21, 2008 at 5:17 PM

He finally gets to wear a face-covering Burka and not feal bad about it.

albill on November 21, 2008 at 5:18 PM

Good news for Muslims: Your image problem is solved.

Alright. Now if atheists can just get Bill Maher convert to a religion they might be able to solve their image problem :-)

terryannonline on November 21, 2008 at 5:18 PM

And good lord — his poor kids — there’s no way they’re turning out normal, is there?

CP on November 21, 2008 at 5:10 PM

No. How many celebrity kids turn out ok to begin with? I think it starts with all the stupid outlandish name their parents stick them with.

Tommy_G on November 21, 2008 at 5:20 PM

A Muslim that enjoys the company of young boys? I think we found a new leader for the fatah party.

Smoothies on November 21, 2008 at 5:22 PM

Allah goes to the gym?

amerpundit on November 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM

Yeah, that’s the first thing I noticed, too.

Who’s Michael Jackson?

Enrique on November 21, 2008 at 5:24 PM

Enrique on November 21, 2008 at 5:24 PM

Someone from Gary, Indiana that started out as a poor black child and wound up as a middle-aged white woman who looks like Elizabeth Taylor.

kingsjester on November 21, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Well, this fits right in…

Pedophile..CHECK!!

Worshiped by throngs of assholes…CHECK!!

Hell, he’s the 13th HeMan..ummm..OhMom…

Hey Man??

BigWyo on November 21, 2008 at 5:29 PM

He will change his name to Haid al Salaami

faraway on November 21, 2008 at 5:15 PM

LMAO

Kevin in Washington State on November 21, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Who’s Michael Jackson?

Enrique on November 21, 2008 at 5:24 PM

Just another Muslim, among around 1.2 billion in the world.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:30 PM

Well, this fits right in…

Pedophile..CHECK!!

Worshiped by throngs of assholes…CHECK!!

Hell, he’s the 13th HeMan..ummm..OhMom…

Hey Man??

BigWyo on November 21, 2008 at 5:29 PM

You were on to something…and forgot child abuse.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:32 PM

Isn’t dancing and general merriment banned in Islam culture?

Kini on November 21, 2008 at 5:32 PM

Queue Debbie in 5….4….3….2…1….

redrock on November 21, 2008 at 5:35 PM

when I was at the gym recently

Ah, a jungle gym?

carbon_footprint on November 21, 2008 at 5:36 PM

…face it…this is just a naked attempt help him recapture the zing in his career…to make him more lovable….

…Mikaeel, the moonwalking muslim…not as good as Haid al Salaami, but, then, what is?

Puritan1648 on November 21, 2008 at 5:36 PM

Isn’t dancing and general merriment banned in Islam culture?

Kini on November 21, 2008 at 5:32 PM

…no…that’s Kansas….

Puritan1648 on November 21, 2008 at 5:37 PM

Mikaeel Djinnson.

From Jehovah’s Nuisance to Slave of Satan. Kid never had a break.

[email protected] on November 21, 2008 at 5:38 PM

Exit admission: They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.

You go to the gym? And what does dude mean here. I think it’s catchy, still! Though admittedly, I like 80’s music more than your average Joe (Scarborough?).

ggoofer on November 21, 2008 at 5:39 PM

Die, just die.

marklmail on November 21, 2008 at 5:41 PM

?-case scenario: Mikaeel becomes an Imam and releases a series of Friday Khutbahs on DVD.

eeyore on November 21, 2008 at 5:42 PM

Allah, leaving his apartment? Who knew. I always thought Michelle had Allah chained to his desk.

Lance Murdock on November 21, 2008 at 5:46 PM

So do we get back Cat Stevens now?

Chuck Schick on November 21, 2008 at 5:48 PM

He He.

Firebird on November 21, 2008 at 5:49 PM

The muslims have always smiled upon the pedos.

pseudonominus on November 21, 2008 at 5:56 PM

A colleague just returned from Saudi Arabia and says the country should be renamed Sausage Arabia. All men (and boys) all the time. Paging Andrew Sullivan.

J.J. Sefton on November 21, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Maybe he can recruit Amy Winehouse to Islam too, and get her under a burka so we don’t have to look at her anymore.

RBMN on November 21, 2008 at 5:08 PM

Oh please let them take Streisand as well. And Rosie. And Behar. And Pelosi.

With all of those yammering lips the Religion of Peace sure wouldn’t be peaceful anymore! The guys would run back to their goats.

Larry L. Sharp on November 21, 2008 at 6:11 PM

Muslims really are going to hate America now. I kind of feel bad for them.

doufree on November 21, 2008 at 6:14 PM

One more example of excellent judgment in a lifetime of excellent judgment.

Heh.

Cicero43 on November 21, 2008 at 6:15 PM

Mohammed was a pedophile, too.

Black Adam on November 21, 2008 at 6:15 PM

They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.

I never got into Jacko’s music (or anything else for that matter).

rbj on November 21, 2008 at 6:20 PM

Allah goes to the gym?

amerpundit on November 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM

And by “gym”, he meant “ti*ty bar”.

malan89 on November 21, 2008 at 6:22 PM

Dude, MJ is only a backup singer in “Thriller.”
Its all Vincent Price.

Count to 10 on November 21, 2008 at 6:28 PM

Oh, I get it, islam is the new “IT” thingee for hippies and celebrities to do.

Years from now we’ll see some young white western girl who slept around with islamic men to freak out her parents, get knocked up by one of these bums who use her to stay in the country and leech off the education and welfare system then dump her and go back to his savage nation leaving her with another bastard child for my tax dollars to raise. Then that kid will grow up reaping the benefits of affirmative action and white guilt. Maybe someday that kid will become Presid….oh wait a minute, never mind.

Alden Pyle on November 21, 2008 at 6:29 PM

You’re just jealous the Muslim tent is wider than the GOP one.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2008 at 5:13 PM

Plus its literally a tent!

thecountofincognito on November 21, 2008 at 6:41 PM

Just what this world needs another white female muslim.

iceman1960 on November 21, 2008 at 6:43 PM

75% of tards who pervert to Islam leave after a few years of trying to choke down the sh!t sandwich that is Islam. Mikaeel Djinnson may well fall in the 25% that thrive neck deep in ideological sewerage.

[email protected] on November 21, 2008 at 6:50 PM

Hmm, I thought it was against Sharia law to be homosexual, or a pedophile for that matter. I guess even Islam is being infiltrated by Hollywood.

I wonder if Jacko is doing all this to get the King of Bahrain off his back about the 7 million dollars he stole from him?

darkmetal on November 21, 2008 at 7:01 PM

Exit admission: They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.

Dude, MJ is only a backup singer in “Thriller.”
Its all Vincent Price.

Count to 10 on November 21, 2008 at 6:28 PM

My thoughts exactly. hearing VP intoning “the funk of forty thousand years, is worth the price of that admission.

soundingboard on November 21, 2008 at 7:14 PM

That’s two for me today! KA-CHING!

lorien1973 on November 21, 2008 at 5:06 PM

Show off.
Haven’t seen the first one yet, but…
I will admit the deity reference was pretty good.

soundingboard on November 21, 2008 at 7:18 PM

It worked for Mike Tyson, I’m sure it will work for Mikaeeeeeel

eaglewingz08 on November 21, 2008 at 7:19 PM

Islam has officially jumped the shark. First racism, now this…..when do we get the Jihadist Survivor Reality Show?

HornetSting on November 21, 2008 at 5:08 PM

Only in Jihadi Survivor the last one alive loses.

soundingboard on November 21, 2008 at 7:24 PM

Plus its literally a tent!

thecountofincognito on November 21, 2008 at 6:41 PM

heh!

soundingboard on November 21, 2008 at 7:25 PM

Only in Jihadi Survivor the last one alive loses.

soundingboard on November 21, 2008 at 7:24 PM

hahah

ex-Democrat on November 21, 2008 at 7:44 PM

I just knew he could be saved!

Tzetzes on November 21, 2008 at 7:59 PM

That skinny whiny wimp is now Islam…….Well, years ago he was at a dinner that I cooked and served. I could see that his putty was coming off of his nose. I didn’t realize what it really was. I told him that he was sweating so badly, that he might want to check his nose. Or let me get him a cloth. My ex bosses wife was outside cracking up! He looked of a terrible mess. He was real shy and talked like a woman. Looked like a woman. I do love some of his music. I will not stop listening to him. But, he is not all there.

sheebe on November 21, 2008 at 8:19 PM

He just wants to wear a hijab.

Socmodfiscon on November 21, 2008 at 8:21 PM

If there is an Islam heaven, you know they’ll have one screwed up band, band, band!!!!!

Hening on November 21, 2008 at 8:41 PM

The lead off photo looks a lot like Anthony Zerbe in The Omega Man,
Bob

Bobnormal on November 21, 2008 at 9:48 PM

Is jacko ready for Islam? Is Islam ready for JACKO?

Grafted on November 21, 2008 at 10:52 PM

Who? That guy looks an awful lot like Peter Pan….

Hog Wild on November 21, 2008 at 10:59 PM

Exit admission: They had “Thriller” playing when I was at the gym recently, and trust me when I say that if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, dude.

I believe it. Did you ever hear the story about how that record would never had been made if not for the efforts of Michael McDonald, the guys from Toto, and the ghost of Koko Goldstein?

ScottMcC on November 21, 2008 at 11:07 PM

Whacko Jacko is already half way to being a plastic explosive

John The Baptist on November 22, 2008 at 12:26 AM

Michael McDonald, the guys from Toto, and the ghost of Koko Goldstein?

ScottMcC on November 21, 2008 at 11:07 PM

Yes that I did know. Not to many know that. Took a lot of time too.

sheebe on November 22, 2008 at 2:05 AM

I wonder if Jacko is doing all this to get the King of Bahrain off his back about the 7 million dollars he stole from him?

darkmetal on November 21, 2008 at 7:01 PM

Don’t you mean on his back?

Hey, I spent time in Saudi Arabia. I guarded the flightline gates nearest the Royal Saudi Air Force tent city. Those guys spent half the night chasing each other in the darkness, then bragging to me how good they are at “loving men”. I had 16 of them pass by in the night asking if I was “same-same”.

It doesn’t make them all ghey, but I was never so creeped out in my life.

Black Adam on November 22, 2008 at 4:07 AM

This goes perfectly with his hatred for women and love of little boys and violence.
He should do us all a favor and stop breathing.

Christine on November 23, 2008 at 1:53 PM