Video: Negotiations with Attractive Girls Union break down
posted at 9:09 pm on November 17, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Day 12,000 of the impasse. I tried to come up with a bailout analogy but have been left temporarily impaired by the searing pain of recognition. Help me out. There has to be a “troubled assets” joke in here somewhere.
The bit about the seat in Starbucks is funny as only acid poured into an open wound can be. Exit question: Hey, isn’t that “McCain Girl”? Content warning.
Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman
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they refused to negotiate with me too!
Drunk Report on November 17, 2008 at 9:16 PM
Now I know why I am a single father………….. I laugh at my own jokes.
………………… It’s all very clear to me now.
Seven Percent Solution on November 17, 2008 at 9:18 PM
That’s so funny!
CP on November 17, 2008 at 9:21 PM
I only made it as far as the Foster’s ad. That stuff’s pretty good, but the cans are too big.
Kevin M on November 17, 2008 at 9:21 PM
Ouch, but funny.
And, y’know, the Union is right on one point: unless you play for the Cubs, I think the goatee look has to go.
Just my call.
SteveMG on November 17, 2008 at 9:23 PM
That stuff’s pretty good, but the cans are too big.
Kevin M on November 17, 2008 at 9:21 PM
Referring to the beer?
coldwarrior on November 17, 2008 at 9:26 PM
Mike needs an Ombudsman.
Named Buck.
profitsbeard on November 17, 2008 at 9:27 PM
this is why we have to bak all the unions!
one way to accomplish this is to give amnesty to all hot illegal immigrant babes.
can we get mac and barry on this right away!?
reliapundit on November 17, 2008 at 9:28 PM
Outsourcing might be Mike’s best hope.
It’s safe.
SteveMG on November 17, 2008 at 9:31 PM
That was pretty funny.
Spirit of 1776 on November 17, 2008 at 9:31 PM
Oh, the sympathy pains…
quikstrike98 on November 17, 2008 at 9:34 PM
Actually, the list of specific demands with visual guides would be pretty helpful.
exception on November 17, 2008 at 9:37 PM
Why this hostile attitude toward facial hair? I don’t get it. I mean sure, that guy’s isn’t the most attractive, but why the blanket condemnation?
alex342 on November 17, 2008 at 9:38 PM
I am Mike Greenman.
Blarg the Destroyer on November 17, 2008 at 9:41 PM
I remember negotiating with the AGU during the 80’s. Hopeless.
Mojave Mark on November 17, 2008 at 9:42 PM
“he has no chance barring a sudden influx of money or joining a band”
rofl
libertytexan on November 17, 2008 at 9:46 PM
No, no, no.
No lists from women.
Ever.
You think the expiration date on any of these lists is more than 4 hours? Two at most.
SteveMG on November 17, 2008 at 9:47 PM
lol… slow news nite AP? still laughing…
jerrytbg on November 17, 2008 at 9:49 PM
MG rhymes with AP
:-D
SouthernGent on November 17, 2008 at 9:57 PM
If you’re bald, don’t listen to them. I spent the last 5 years (after giving in to the inevitable and shaving my head) with a clean-shaven amorphous blob of a face. After I got out of the AF I grew a Van Dyke and it finally gave my face a defining feature.
I haven’t quite entered into direct negotiations with the AGU, but at least there have been no press conferences singling me out.
James on November 17, 2008 at 10:02 PM
Screw these b***ches. LOCKOUT!! NOW!!
What about if I talk about the wonders of the Titans? Afterall, they are 10-0.
Sapwolf on November 17, 2008 at 10:03 PM
Hey AGU. Forget you. We are moving the Hooters plant to Alambama where it won’t be unionized.
It’s all good.
Sapwolf on November 17, 2008 at 10:04 PM
Anybody ever read the Greek play Lysistrata?
Hmm, maybe we can reverse the roles?
Nah, who am I kidding?
SteveMG on November 17, 2008 at 10:06 PM
They don’t want to discuss the Giants when they’re 9-1?? What is wrong with these girls?? Sigh…
clancy_wiggum on November 17, 2008 at 10:13 PM
They could have found a better looking black girl. I was available. :-P
Course, I’m part of slightly overweight girl union too.
baldilocks on November 17, 2008 at 10:16 PM
I’ve been blackballed by that union..
That’s not a good thing.
DaveC on November 17, 2008 at 10:18 PM
I had many fruitless negotiations with the AGU while growing up. I don’t know how I got so lucky with my current (and only, as far as I’m concerned!) bride.
nukemhill on November 17, 2008 at 10:23 PM
I am weird then. I love my hubby’s white and gray mustache and beard. I would be bummed if he shaved it. And, his bald head with the hair around the side. I love it. Was funny video though.
sheebe on November 17, 2008 at 10:24 PM
James on November 17, 2008 at 10:02 PM
Yeah, Van Dycks are cool. I have a Balbo myself. My male friends find it cooler than my female friends. Women are lame. Mostly.
alex342 on November 17, 2008 at 10:26 PM
AP, if I were a ghey, I’d ask you on a date.
spmat on November 17, 2008 at 10:40 PM
Still recovering from the proverbial kick in the balls on that one. Ouch! If wasn’t so true, I would be laughing. Allah, we lost the election, we don’t need our beta-male dreams crushed so ruthlessly….
Anyways, here is great link for you all:
href=”http://http://www.howobamagotelected.com/”
theboss on November 17, 2008 at 10:42 PM
“http://www.howobamagotelected.com”
theboss on November 17, 2008 at 10:44 PM
“The Attractive Girls Union is very powerful … ”
Indeed, it is the most powerful union on earth. Even more powerful than the Teamsters.
(don’t attempt to work in a Jimmy Hoffa reference, because there isn’t one.)
keep the change on November 17, 2008 at 10:46 PM
The Union rep won’t even return my calls for a
beggingbargaining session.eeyore on November 17, 2008 at 10:46 PM
5-6 pushups a night? Don’t go crazy!
Speedwagon82 on November 17, 2008 at 10:57 PM
What is that…a stage beyond blue?
James on November 17, 2008 at 11:15 PM
Hey AP…
Isn’t that you in the ‘FRO’, there in the back?
shooter on November 17, 2008 at 11:34 PM
GM wants to get bailed out after giving away the store to their unions. Mike needs to up the bling quotient and go for broke.
pedestrian on November 17, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Favorite line – “He f**ks up everything, why even try anymore”…
As for the facial hair bit, when hubby ‘accidentally’ takes a little too much off of the goatee and ends up having to shave it off, I can’t even look at him for about 2-3 weeks (shallow bitch that I am). And to top it all off, he has decided to let his bald head be graced with hair again. And he plans to grow it long. Uggh, his mid-life crisis – I don’t know whether to laugh, or cry (and that depends on whether or not I am having a hot-flash) :)
pcbedamned on November 17, 2008 at 11:59 PM
I am Joe the Greenman…
Yoop on November 18, 2008 at 12:08 AM
Tee hee!
baldilocks on November 18, 2008 at 12:19 AM
Good…
DL13 on November 18, 2008 at 12:44 AM
Ha!
Tzetzes on November 18, 2008 at 1:45 AM
I’ve been a member of the Extremely Wealthy Dudes Union (EWDU) since the 80’s and I have refused to negotiate with the AGU for years. I prefer the MILF Union. More bang for the buck.
csdeven on November 18, 2008 at 3:29 AM
Those women weren’t attractive
ricardoz on November 18, 2008 at 4:19 AM
I have a nonunion spouse, and do not need the AGU.
One wife is too much for any man. At least the union leaves after their work is done.
Right_of_Attila on November 18, 2008 at 6:37 AM
Has Allahpundit recently bought stock in the Onion?
fossten on November 18, 2008 at 7:28 AM
I dated only non-union attractive girls until I married one.
One of the benefits of dating a non-union attractive woman was the picket lines that would form outside my condo. Back then, short mini-skirts were all the rage.
Gotta tell ya, there’s nothing better than sitting on your own balcony with a few friends, a cooler of near-frozen beer, and 20 to 30 hot and angry attractive girls in mini skirts parading back and forth not 20 feet below you.
It was like our own personal Mardi Gras, except they’d never show their … uh …raise their tops. But who cared? I’ve always been a leg man, myself. Right?
Rod on November 18, 2008 at 7:54 AM
Good grief.
paul1149 on November 18, 2008 at 8:02 AM
I am sure our new president, the Messiah himself, can get the AGU girls to soften their stance…. uhhh.. maybe they can get Mike to harden his approach…. uhhh…
Sanctuary!!!!……
Always Right on November 18, 2008 at 8:10 AM
Nooooo, no skullets.
James on November 18, 2008 at 9:01 AM
I am ashamed to admit that when confronted with the AGU… I caved in… and gave in to all demands. I kind of feel like the Big 3 auto makers must feel with the UAW.
There is a bright side though… Once married I managed to gain ground on video game talk.. and wearing cargo pants.
Passed on November 18, 2008 at 9:27 AM
Only in the U.S. can humor resemble real life.
MSGTAS on November 18, 2008 at 9:47 AM
I took advantage of the little known (at that time) card check rule. I got her to admit that she might consider me as a candidate to date. So I whipped out the card check rule and showed her that 51% of her fellow women considered dating me, not that they actually did. By card check rules, she was forced to amrry me.
It’ll be 34 years next Wednesday!
karl9000 on November 18, 2008 at 10:12 AM
I’ve already moved all my operations off-shore. I’ll never regret that I did, either. For all I care, it could be the American Girls Union (American woman, stay away from me-ee…).
My collie says:
That’s because they think that AGU stands for augmented girls union.
CyberCipher on November 18, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Haha. Awesome.
Tanya on November 18, 2008 at 11:49 AM
That’s one union that doesn’t need ‘card check’.
Doug on November 18, 2008 at 1:44 PM
Well, it does explain so much of my love life. Good Grief!
:)
El Coqui on November 18, 2008 at 4:12 PM
now that’s the type of union I can get behind =)
neal7 on November 18, 2008 at 4:23 PM
And what’s wrong with the Giants. They would prefer the Detroit Lions?
diogenes on November 18, 2008 at 4:55 PM
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