Video: Obama cultists cope with victory
posted at 4:50 pm on November 5, 2008 by Allahpundit
From the Onion’s “Be careful what you wish for” files, what do the apostles do with themselves now that the messiah has ascended into heaven? Spread the good word? “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for” is going to wear awfully thin as gospel by 2010.
I think we can harness them. Remember in “Day of the Dead” how the doctor taught Bub to use a Walkman? All we need is a meaningless affirmation for them to chant. “The Future Is Now”? “Believe In Belief”? “Just Do It”? Might have trademark problems on that last one.
Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
Blowback
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Did anyone see the Obama supports waving the communists flag?! Oh lord, where is this country heading with these crazy youths!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCMcv1VF4uQ&eurl=http://michellemalkin.com/2008/11/05/america-transformed-waving-the-hammer-and-sickle/
goldeagle11 on November 5, 2008 at 4:53 PM
Funny.
carbon_footprint on November 5, 2008 at 4:53 PM
Is it just me or does Obama have an “Oh, sh!t” expression about him?
haikusrock on November 5, 2008 at 4:54 PM
“Today they woke up to the realization that they have nothing to fill their pathetically empty lives.”
Ouch. And lolz.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 4:55 PM
My hope is that they neuter themselves and wait for the comet.
Tazz 55 on November 5, 2008 at 4:55 PM
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
robblefarian on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
“Onslaught of obnoxious kids named Barack”
I was thinking that last night.
Brat on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
Can I get jack murtha in Ohio so I won’t care about myself or have any dignity? I wish I could do that sometimes.
tomas on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
Not “Oh;” more like an “Eat” expression, methinks…
karl9000 on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
LOL that was great!
offroadaz on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
That was great!
abinitioadinfinitum on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
Thanks for posting this, it made me laugh, and I needed a good laugh. :)
Christina D on November 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
That has to be one of the most accurate ONN’s.
right2bright on November 5, 2008 at 4:57 PM
Good God no, please. Although nothing would surprise me now.
*eats*
Grue in the Attic on November 5, 2008 at 4:57 PM
Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are.
Later in the hour, we will tell you how to spot and avoid an OBAMA supporter by looking for clues on their messenger bag. LOL
romanianhacker on November 5, 2008 at 4:57 PM
I wonder what the prepared one for Obama’s loss was. The map over the reporters shoulder was from 2004, so I’m guessing they had the other scenario in the pipes somewhere.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 4:58 PM
No offense, but Pennsylvania is flat retarded.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 4:59 PM
“how empty their lives are”? Wait ’til they figure out how empty his promises are. Sheesh!
rightjoyce on November 5, 2008 at 4:59 PM
LMAO!
And the best part is they all have nothing to live for and the fun’s just starting for us.
GinaE on November 5, 2008 at 5:00 PM
I predict Hussein tops the boy names list in America for the first time evah.
Bah.
haikusrock on November 5, 2008 at 5:00 PM
Funny.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on November 5, 2008 at 5:00 PM
Look at the front page of Urban Dictionary.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
Loved the “Portland, OR” cop’s accent. Authentic? “Yeah, It Is!”
Christien on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
It was not just you.
baldilocks on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
Probably mass suicides via spiked Kool Aid.
GinaE on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
Kids? What about all the crime and drug infested streets across the nation that will soon be renamed Barack Obama Boulevard? You know, to give the inhabitants hope.
TedInATL on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
awesome
lexhamfox on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
Empty promised from Obama and crew, empty lives of his supporters. NOW maybe these losers will go get jobs, get taxed to freaking death, then oppose this assclown in 2012.
Spiritk9 on November 5, 2008 at 5:01 PM
good call. i noticed that too. “ohio still red??”
battleoflepanto1571 on November 5, 2008 at 5:02 PM
Au contrair!! I want them to live long enough to see just exactly what they’ve done to the rest of us.
What they do after that is their business.
*eats*
Grue in the Attic on November 5, 2008 at 5:02 PM
It is going to be kind of cool to be the dissenting patriot for a while.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 5:02 PM
I was thinking along those lines too.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 5:03 PM
truth is stranger than fiction
ConservativePartyNow on November 5, 2008 at 5:04 PM
Well, if they taught Bub how to use a Walkman, I’m sure we can teach liberals how to hold a job.
On second thought, I’d rather just take my chances with the zombie.
Sir Corky on November 5, 2008 at 5:04 PM
OMG, this is hysterical. Can’t wait to pass it along.
Security Mom on November 5, 2008 at 5:04 PM
Ironic, but true.
*Points finger and laughs!*
Gothguy on November 5, 2008 at 5:04 PM
The mantra in 2009 will be “after 8 years of bickering, americans want us to come together” and dissent, at least in the media, will be looked at through that prism.
lorien1973 on November 5, 2008 at 5:05 PM
Sigh.
I will say I’m glad the election is over if for no other reason than I do not have to hear the phrase (or any variation), “I Baracked the vote.”
I’m already tired of “Yes we can and yes we did.”
haikusrock on November 5, 2008 at 5:05 PM
Jest, We Can!
Christien on November 5, 2008 at 5:05 PM
And now, at long last, after it can no longer save us, the humiliation of Obama begins.
Count to 10 on November 5, 2008 at 5:05 PM
And so it begins! Is this the slow break into actually cracking jokes about The Man himself?
AeroSpear on November 5, 2008 at 5:06 PM
Oh gawd. Yes they did!?
Brat on November 5, 2008 at 5:06 PM
The wicked walk on every side, when the vilest men are exalted.
Psalm 12:8
Hening on November 5, 2008 at 5:07 PM
I agree with the statement upthread about happily being the political dissenter for a while. I can’t wait for the first time I can say, “I didn’t vote for That One!”
haikusrock on November 5, 2008 at 5:07 PM
Pathetically empty lives?
Condescending?
People are hoping they just die?
They’ve shown that they can clearly be taken over by mindless, empty rhetoric?
Awesome.
amerpundit on November 5, 2008 at 5:08 PM
And How. Let’s be Bad Guys.
*eats*
Grue in the Attic on November 5, 2008 at 5:08 PM
this is funny… the onion is great, but it’s been more anti-bush because he’s been in power.
so now, serious question: what happens to Jon Stewart, to Stephen Colbert, to Keith Olbermann, to Rachel Maddow, to David Shuster & the other MSNBC dolts, heck to the Roland martins of CNN?
WHAT WILL THEY DO FOR AN HOUR EACH NIGHT????????
seriously. i can’t imagine colbert or olby or stewart doing anything OTHER THAN attacking republicans… but how would that work? “today the 259 democrats in congress voted for national health insurance, but the 179 republicans in the house voted ‘NO’!”
*laughter*
(see my point?)
what kind of authors damning bush or the GWOT will be invited onto stewart’s show? what will little fareed zakaria & newsweek screech about weekly? who will howard kurtz be able to attack?
i think we saw shades of olby last night. matthews made a comment about obama is clean & untainted “well except for him breaking his promise on public financing” and then olby interrupted and said NO HE DIDNT! HE DIDNT BREAK HIS PROMISE! to which matthews said “keith, you’re being naive. all politicians do this” and olby held up some paper and said “I READ HIS 30 PAGE EXPLANATION DOCUMENT! HE KEPT HIS WORD! HE KEPT HIS WORD!”
i mean, how will countdown not be canceled? “our #5 story: minority party votes against law, law passes overwhelmingly, president signs law into effect overwhelmingly” how can you report on that for 4 more years????
battleoflepanto1571 on November 5, 2008 at 5:08 PM
now I get to play the bitter angry partisan that Democrats have done oh so wonderfully for the last eights years.
sending to this all my democratic
friendsacquaintancespeople i used to think were rational should be a good startmountaineer for liberty on November 5, 2008 at 5:08 PM
Thanks, I needed that!
Freddy on November 5, 2008 at 5:09 PM
I was joking. I’m military, so like it or not, he’s my President.
And it would have been nice for McCain to say something along the lines of: “Sen. Obama ran as a centrist and a uniter, and I hope he governs as one as well. I hope his call for unity will bring his hand to our side of the aisle as often as it asks for ours to cross over to his side.”
Instead just a generic call to unite behind Obama’s radical Agenda. One more EPIC FAIL.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 5:09 PM
Do you remember this video.
Or this.
I think that Obama ran for president because he wanted to get his name out there. Thinking as we all did that Hillary would win. Or maybe the republican. And then 4 or more realistically 8 years later in the extreme he could run again. And a previous run for president would help get his name out there.
….. and then he started to do good. And then really good, and raking in bundles of cash. He’s planned this bid for the presidency for some time. If I recall correctly, a relative or friend of his is on record saying that Barack told him as much. Many moves and decisions in his live has been planned to build road for him to get there.
I wonder if he is thinking to himself ‘Oh my God, how did I pull this off??’
wise_man on November 5, 2008 at 5:09 PM
I can get with that. Surely not the ideal position to be in but….when life gives you lemons……find someone who’s life gives them vodka and…well…crap.
Texas74 on November 5, 2008 at 5:10 PM
Awesome! I needed a good laugh today.
Torch on November 5, 2008 at 5:10 PM
DotD = Weakest of the original three movies. Ever read Romero’s original screenplay? It was twice as long, ten times as moronic, and ended with survivors escaping to island where the dead stay dead.
Face it: Ever since Shaun of the Dead, zombie content has been officially played out. The Romero Remakes? Other than Dawn they were cheap imitations of cheap explotative money grabs. 28 Days? Stupid. Resident Evil? Unwatchable.
C’mon, you know that completely overrated World War Z movie is gonna suck too.
ScottMcC on November 5, 2008 at 5:10 PM
spot on lolz! I’m only getting my news from The Onion for the next 4 years…well, and Hot Air.
“They’ve proven that their minds can be taken over by empty rhetoric”! LOL
kirkill on November 5, 2008 at 5:10 PM
I hope those Obama supporters kept their campaign signs. They can cut them up and rearrange the words to “We Need Change” as in “spare” when we’re all to broke to support them anymore.
rightjoyce on November 5, 2008 at 5:11 PM
Russians have plenty of vodka
mountaineer for liberty on November 5, 2008 at 5:11 PM
Oh, thank you, Allah, for posting this! Best laugh I’ve had all day, and I’ve been actively searching for them! I have a feeling I’ll be spending a lot more time on The Onion for the next four years and NONE with the msm.
califcon on November 5, 2008 at 5:12 PM
There is no greater cause and effect on what the free market thinks of a president then the day after an election
in 2004 up flat: 0%
in 1996 ip 100pts about 2%
in 1992 down 20pts about 1%
in 1988 flat
in 1984 up 14pts or about 1.5%
in 1980 flat.
This is the worse reaction to an election by the markets in the last 30 years. Most day’s after is like business as usally. No sell offs. Sometimes you get a small rally. Today was an massive in your face NO THANK YOU form the market. HISTORIC reaction. Not seen ever.
unseen on November 5, 2008 at 5:12 PM
Gawd, I need this today. Genuine Obama Humor. Excellent Post!
CInAz on November 5, 2008 at 5:12 PM
This is hot far from the truth.
thmcbb on November 5, 2008 at 5:13 PM
Now that’s Kool-Aid poisoning if I ever saw it!!!
grapeknutz on November 5, 2008 at 5:14 PM
Very funny stuff! Those Onion newscasters are so good at playing it straight. “That does sound annoying.”
Beatnik Joe on November 5, 2008 at 5:14 PM
You’re gooing to crap in my vodka?
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 5:14 PM
That is one of the most hilarious videos I have ever seen.
Aronne on November 5, 2008 at 5:14 PM
these guys should be on TV instead of the Jon Stewart’s
jp on November 5, 2008 at 5:14 PM
ScottMcC,
The genre was officially re-animated last night in the latest movie, Grant Park.
Christien on November 5, 2008 at 5:15 PM
Exactly. Without a conservative party to bash day in and day out, I see a lot of tanking ratings in the future, not to mention cancellations.
GinaE on November 5, 2008 at 5:16 PM
I’m positive he’s thinking that. Pretty sure he was running to get the VP slot with his eye on becoming President in 8 years. Then he won Iowa, and the country’s screwed.
BadgerHawk on November 5, 2008 at 5:16 PM
This video and MachoSauce have kept me from sulking all day. This video is so accurate. I mean, he’s a frikken politician, and his ‘bots take any topic and transform it to talk about Dear Leader.
And a coworker last week printed off one of those baby name pages with Barack. And this chick a few months ago wondered if he was the AntiChrist! **Come to think of it, she didn’t mention the election to me at all today…* Probably feels guilty now.
Oh and one more thing, I have been deleting all the “we have arrived/our first family” emails that I’ve been getting, but I did look at one that had the famous shot of Coretta Scott King and her little girl at MLK’s funeral, and someone photoshopped Aunt Esther Obama and their youngest daughter in the photo. LOSERS!
Dubn8tr on November 5, 2008 at 5:17 PM
Did you hear Medvedev is looking forward to “a constructive dialog based on trust” with Obabeinthewoods? “Come into my parlor” said the spider to the fly. Does Biden’s 6 mo. countdown to crisis start ticking yesterday or on January 20?
rightjoyce on November 5, 2008 at 5:17 PM
I think Biden’s counter is already accelerating. Didn’t Russia deploy some missles yesterday? And Hamas is shelling Isreal. lovely.
Texas74 on November 5, 2008 at 5:20 PM
This made my day.
Darth Executor on November 5, 2008 at 5:21 PM
Doom doom doom doom
Doom doom doom doom
*eats*
Grue in the Attic on November 5, 2008 at 5:22 PM
When I see Obama, I see the guy from the horror films with the guy with the pins in his head saying….Oh, we have such sights to show you……
portlandon on November 5, 2008 at 5:26 PM
The guy from Hellraiser?
*eats*
Grue in the Attic on November 5, 2008 at 5:27 PM
There’s plenty of work for them…
Somebody has to help all those people out from UNDER THE BUS!!!!!!!
pherrman on November 5, 2008 at 5:28 PM
Always a silver lining, isn’t there? I always knew my natural sarcasm would come in handy someday.
dinobalz on November 5, 2008 at 5:29 PM
On the plus side, it could be good news for conservative comedy if they’re the only ones making fun of the Dems. And with Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and John Murtha, there’s going to be plenty of material.
VanPalin on November 5, 2008 at 5:29 PM
Thank you, Onion!!
LOL!
PattyJ on November 5, 2008 at 5:29 PM
My first laugh of the day. They need to form a line and march to the “neighborhood” for their Obama handouts!!
Ozark_sky on November 5, 2008 at 5:32 PM
The guy from Hellraiser?
Yeah! Pinhead from Hellraiser!!
Oh, what sights he has to show us….I can just imagine.
portlandon on November 5, 2008 at 5:33 PM
They’re just worried that ol’ Greasy Joe will try to turn the Causasus into a safe haven for credit card companies.
dinobalz on November 5, 2008 at 5:33 PM
Don’t want to distress anyone but a Florida child born last night around 8:30 p.m. was named after The One. I can’t remember if they used Obama or Barack as the child’s middle name. I will try to find a link when I get home, I heard it on a local radio station.
Cindy Munford on November 5, 2008 at 5:34 PM
Barack Hussein “Senator/President Government” “The One” “That One” “Obama-sama” “Obamination” “Obamatron” “Pinhead” Obama
Yeah, I can see it.
*eats*
Grue in the Attic on November 5, 2008 at 5:35 PM
If they live in Oregon assisted suicide is available.
thomasaur on November 5, 2008 at 5:36 PM
ooo now there is an option I hadn’t considered.
RushBaby on November 5, 2008 at 5:37 PM
OH MY GOSH. I couldn’t believe this when I heard it on Rush this morning.
Ozark_sky on November 5, 2008 at 5:39 PM
Kind of like calling your kid Mohommad?
HornetSting on November 5, 2008 at 5:40 PM
Didn’t Obama’s dad father like 415 children. Aren’t there enough Obamas?
rightjoyce on November 5, 2008 at 5:41 PM
at 1:30 of that clip the supporter is going thru his litany of things that need to be done for each person he talks to. What really made me LOL was:
rslancer14 on November 5, 2008 at 5:43 PM
I think I saw my daughter in that video
jcheney on November 5, 2008 at 5:47 PM
Yep – I needed a good laugh.
That’s the only news channel I will watch from now on.
tru2tx on November 5, 2008 at 5:47 PM
OK, really funny, but am I the only one on this thread who is also really, really angry at the Onion for not releasing this before the election is over?
Need a nap, apparently.
*sleeps*
inviolet on November 5, 2008 at 5:50 PM
The spotlight must never be allowed to come off the Obama administration and Dem congress….every single failure must be illuminated.
The baby has its bottle, it’s time to teach it that it exists in an adult world.
“Yes, you did!”
LimeyGeek on November 5, 2008 at 5:53 PM
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