Election Day: Calrissian versus Palpatine
posted at 11:05 am on November 4, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Easy call. Too many questionable associations in Lando’s past — Han for starters, plus this guy just looks shifty — and too many gaffes by Chewbacca, who at times has sounded incoherent. Luckily for Calrissian, there’s no Bradley effect in space. Unluckily for Calrissian, there may be a Wookiee effect.
Do you really want Chewie a heartbeat away? I ask you.
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I hear Chewbacca has hair plugs.
amerpundit on November 4, 2008 at 11:08 AM
You are clearly a monolingual heathen.
Tanya on November 4, 2008 at 11:09 AM
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
But seriously AP, this ain’t doin it for me today.
k2aggie07 on November 4, 2008 at 11:10 AM
That’s the first funny or die clip I’ve seen that was funny.
thekingtut on November 4, 2008 at 11:11 AM
I don’t know whether to hang myself or go bowling.
ManlyRash on November 4, 2008 at 11:11 AM
Damn, u beat me to it.
Hears my take.
Chewie is just to redneck two be number two.
Lance Murdock on November 4, 2008 at 11:11 AM
I prefer this
johnnyU on November 4, 2008 at 11:11 AM
Bowl.
THEN hang yourself.
seejanemom on November 4, 2008 at 11:12 AM
Admiral Ackbar rules.
bluejacket on November 4, 2008 at 11:12 AM
Han shot first.
F*ck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling.
Good Lt on November 4, 2008 at 11:13 AM
I’m waiting to see who the Ewoks endorse.
redshirt on November 4, 2008 at 11:13 AM
SHAM.
seejanemom on November 4, 2008 at 11:13 AM
It’s a trap!
HuskerNate on November 4, 2008 at 11:14 AM
That’s almost as bad as being Rick Rolled.
At least it wasn’t BILLY MAYS!! with his g*damned mighty putty.
wise_man on November 4, 2008 at 11:14 AM
Whew…thanks! I was gonna hang myself first, which would have made a perfect 220 game rather difficult to achieve.
ManlyRash on November 4, 2008 at 11:14 AM
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!
MadisonConservative on November 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM
I’m writing in Wedge Antilles.
TheUnrepentantGeek on November 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM
Ewok endorsement? Ask Ace.
cthulhu on November 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM
Reminds me of this, one of the funniest spoofs ever.
redshirt on November 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM
Colt .45…..Works Every Time
ConstantSorrow on November 4, 2008 at 11:16 AM
This just in: Obama proposes unconditional peace talks with Emperor Palpatine, offers surrender.
indythinker on November 4, 2008 at 11:16 AM
I have a bad feeling about this.
vcferlita on November 4, 2008 at 11:16 AM
I don’t know whether to hang myself or go bowling.
ManlyRash on November 4, 2008 at 11:11 AM
Go Bowling first, and wait till your prediction before you hang yourself………………..Please :)
sheebe on November 4, 2008 at 11:16 AM
I really want to hire the Smam WOW dude. He’s got mad skillz yo.
And time has not been kind to Billy Dee …
matd on November 4, 2008 at 11:17 AM
Oh God, you’re a Antillesbot.
amerpundit on November 4, 2008 at 11:17 AM
Even Lando Calrissian has more experience than Obama.
Speakup on November 4, 2008 at 11:17 AM
There’s no way Chewbacca would be Lando’s running mate. Sorry.
Besides, Palpy’s ad is misleading. Lando never made the Kessel Run.
Darksean on November 4, 2008 at 11:17 AM
You’re not going soft on us, are you Manly? : (
IrishEi on November 4, 2008 at 11:19 AM
ROFL! They used a Washington, DC Metro station as a “futuristic” backdrop.
flipflop on November 4, 2008 at 11:19 AM
But, Antilles is a Corellian! Do you really want one of those people running the galaxy?
thekingtut on November 4, 2008 at 11:20 AM
I think someone’s snapped.
MadisonConservative on November 4, 2008 at 11:21 AM
LOL. Or those damn unbent paperclips to hang pictures with. I actually saw an insurance commercial with Billy Mays selling it. Talk about the wrong pick for an announcer. The Eddie Haskel Sham WOW dude would-a been better.
eh, off topic…sorry.
johnnyU on November 4, 2008 at 11:21 AM
Going out to vote now. Bringing a couple of 2X4s to fend off the liberal hordes.
IrishEi on November 4, 2008 at 11:21 AM
Billy D. Chitlins?
mylegsareswollen on November 4, 2008 at 11:22 AM
RAAAAAACIST!! and SPEECIESEESSST!!
Mazztek on November 4, 2008 at 11:23 AM
First humpbots and now this…I can’t stop laughing
Greenhelmet on November 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM
BREAKING YOUR BACK
OneGyT on November 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM
I hate to mix my metaphors, but that last one was so great, in a totally Shatneresque way. I wonder if that was intentional.
Tanya on November 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM
But I was going to Taschi Station to pick up some power converters!
/lukewhine
Cuffy Meigs on November 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM
And I’m stopping at St. Rose’s to light a candle, or ten.
IrishEi on November 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM
Old newz, playas. Jamal from AskBlackie.com endorsed Billy Dee weeks ago.
Here ya go, biznitches. NSFW. Language Content Warning.
This is funny as hell. I don’t feel like being PC today. Fark it.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on November 4, 2008 at 11:26 AM
I’m pretty sure the Wookie could deliver the Ewok vote.
loudmouth883 on November 4, 2008 at 11:26 AM
“
Mos Eisley StationChicago.You will never find a more wretched hive of scum ana villainy”.
pseudonominus on November 4, 2008 at 11:29 AM
Don’t get me started on the Ewoks! I mean, they ACTUALLY think C-3PO IS the messiah!
Did you hear that Lando tried spice as a college student?
Darksean on November 4, 2008 at 11:30 AM
You know 95% of the Wookies are going to vote for him just because he’s a Wookie.
pseudonominus on November 4, 2008 at 11:30 AM
Wanna be the ruler of the galaxy
Wanna be the king of the universe
Let’s meet and have a baby now!
Wanna be the empress of fashion
Wanna be the president of Moscow
Let’s meet and have a baby now!
Wanna be the first lady of infinity
Wanna be the nicest guy on earth
Let’s meet and have a baby now!
Wanna be the captain of the Enterprise
Wanna be the king of the Zulus
Let’s meet and have a baby now!
Wanna be a daughter of Dracula
Wanna be the son of Frankenstein
Let’s meet and have a baby now!
Wanna be mother-father
Wanna be daughter-son
Wanna be captain
Wanna be ruler-king and empress
Kini on November 4, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Time for an obligatory reference to the:
The Case for the Empire
Star Trek is communist
lorien1973 on November 4, 2008 at 11:32 AM
Stupid.
Claypigeon on November 4, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Lando should go back to doing Colt 45 ads. That was just plain stupid.
Torch on November 4, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Why is Billy Dee in front of a picture of the DC Metro?
Who knew our subway was so futuristic?
Nat Hound on November 4, 2008 at 11:40 AM
All I’m saying is that Alderaan was blowback for our imperialist tendencies, and that if we go back to the bacta standard we wouldn’t be having these problems at home.
TheUnrepentantGeek on November 4, 2008 at 11:44 AM
This is funnier than the video!
Bob's Kid on November 4, 2008 at 11:45 AM
AP’s pretty deep into the bottle already. Going to be a banner day.
TexasDan on November 4, 2008 at 11:45 AM
Palpatine my man!
Irenaeus on November 4, 2008 at 11:46 AM
Has anyone checked Chewie’s immigration status?
Limerick on November 4, 2008 at 11:48 AM
You don’t have a girlfriend and you don’t date much, do you Allah……………
FiveWays on November 4, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Yoda’s swampy tree-trunk house?
Madrassa.
Cuffy Meigs on November 4, 2008 at 11:52 AM
To quote a certain goldenrod:
“Let the wookie win.”
Tremor on November 4, 2008 at 11:55 AM
I can’t go with either one… Lando is not above selling his friends out while Palpatine spent too much on a bailout plan for a bank on the Outer Rim… That’s outside of his domain!! I’m writing in the only candidate for hope and tradition… Wicket W. Warrick! He’s been apart of a Caravan of Courage and been apart of a ground roots campaign against the Empire and it’s dirty tricks. This is the only way to go… Go W!
neptunium_X on November 4, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Ayers=Han Solo? He can’t be that bad then!
Typhonsentra on November 4, 2008 at 12:07 PM
The Sand People have endorsed Lando.
(Gawd, is that double entendre or what!)
BobMbx on November 4, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Has anyone bothered to point out that Princess Leia is a racist for wearing white?
VanPalin on November 4, 2008 at 12:27 PM
That would be a racist slut. You did catch the outfit she “almost” had on while on board Jabba’s yacht? A real role model for little girls. Just look at Britney Spears (if you can). That turned out well, didn’t it?
//sarc
BobMbx on November 4, 2008 at 12:35 PM
I supported Jar-Jar in the primaries.
Don’t ban me.
TexasDan on November 4, 2008 at 12:45 PM
since we the people in this household call oblahblah “sen. palpatine”. i would vote for the more maverick lando.
samiam on November 4, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Billy Dee has aged much better than I’d expected.
Why the heck was the Washingtong DC Metro Station his backdrop…TWICE??? (That wacky crisscrossing, brightly lit tunnel walls in the background).
I can see something in DC like the White House, Capitol, Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, etc.
But the METRO?? Man, that’s just GOT to be among the most screwed up subway systems in the country. Trains break down daily. Brakes catch fire and fill the cars with smoke regularly. People packed like sardines, standing room only. Jerky starts and stops that injure people. Escalators and elevators that break down several times weekly system-wide, making it even harder on those injured people. All for exorbitant fees that are probably more expensive than if you used the gas to drive to work!
Star Wars: I’ve been a fan in my youth.
Metro? Ugh.
Shirotayama on November 4, 2008 at 1:04 PM
Well, people in those mid-range planets are just clinging to the Force and Blasters.
Besides, if Lando gets in, his regulations will bankrupt any new gas-mining operations. How am I supposed to run my water condensers for my farm if my energy prices skywalk?
Besides, I hear he’s never been clear on taxation. Look, if he continues to tax the wealthy, he’s eventually going to force them to move to a galaxy that doesn’t have penalties for successful people!
I’m with Zobo the Ductworker. Don’t unfairly tax people making 250 thousand credits. It’s going to cost jobs.
Palpatine in 2008.
Nethicus on November 4, 2008 at 1:16 PM
Alderaan was an inside job!
TheUnrepentantGeek on November 4, 2008 at 1:26 PM
I know this is supposed to be funny, but it doesn’t do it for me.
Lando threw Han Solo under the bus, and nearly got the leaders of the Rebel Alliance killed. I don’t care what excuses he came up with three earth years later, he sold out his good friend.
And I’m sorry, but he’s the guy responsible for Cloud City’s giant central long, cylindrical, uhh, thing. A person could get killed, or even escape, out of that thing.
YYZ on November 4, 2008 at 1:28 PM
Luke has been awful silent on Lando. Might he have a bad feeling about this rebel fighter/scoundrel…?
XWing5 on November 4, 2008 at 1:32 PM
It doesn’t matter who wins…Jabba has them all in his pocket anyway!
Javiel20 on November 4, 2008 at 1:46 PM
Why not Darth Vader? That dude was sweet, and he got to command an army of Imperial stormtroopers and a bunch of cool space-cruisers. The only cool thing the Rebels ever had was the X-Wing.
Achilles on November 4, 2008 at 2:24 PM
Funny, they don’t mention the fact that he threw Han under the bus on Cloud City.
MikeZero on November 4, 2008 at 2:47 PM
Even the fake media is giving one candidate too much air time and ignoring the old very white guy. Why can’t the fake media just lay out what each says in a compare and contrast fashion.
jdiggityD on November 4, 2008 at 4:10 PM
Achilles, Anakin Skywalker, aka Darth Vader is dead.
Pelayo on November 4, 2008 at 4:39 PM
A muslim FISH???
Shirotayama on November 4, 2008 at 4:40 PM
That’s the Bespin political machine for ya…
ZK on November 4, 2008 at 6:04 PM
It’s a trap!
JoeEgo on November 4, 2008 at 11:13 PM
The way he never shuts up, I figured C3PO had to be the running-mate.
clghitis on November 5, 2008 at 1:26 AM
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