Kerry jokes: McCain wears Depends

posted at 4:20 pm on October 20, 2008 by Allahpundit

Just paying his dues. If you want to be Secretary of State, sometimes you have to go out there and tease the other guy about crapping his pants.

Kerry tried to relay to the audience what it is like to face the press corps’ inquiries.

“I don’t know if any of you know what it’s like. I do, obviously,” he said. “I’ve been asked all of those brilliant questions that were repeated this year.”

“Barack got asked the famous boxers or briefs question,” Kerry went on. “I was tempted to say commando.”

The senator said Obama successfully parried that question but that John McCain, the GOP nominee, had some problems.

“Then they asked McCain and McCain said, ‘Depends,'” Kerry said to lots of laughter from the crowd.

McCain’s seven years older than Kerry. I gave Olby a break for his own achingly lame attempt at humor in this vein awhile back, so I guess I’m duty bound to wave Waffles through, too. Memo to nutroots denizens itching to goof on McCain’s age: If you’re going to go for it, go all out.

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Heh, a JOKE telling a joke, now that is funny!

Liberty or Death on October 20, 2008 at 5:40 PM

What if Obama loses? Do the Democrats have an exit strategy GRIN you know they love a preemptive retreat.

Dr Evil on October 20, 2008 at 5:46 PM

Looks like somebody’s thong is a couple of sizes too small…. traitor chump.

Hog Wild on October 20, 2008 at 5:47 PM

Oh and this guy is sooo much smarter than Boooosssshhh!!!!

Ageism is stil an ism. I am offended on John McCain’s behalf.

JAM on October 20, 2008 at 5:47 PM

“I was tempted to say commando.”

Oh gawd. My day just went very, very bad.

Redhead Infidel on October 20, 2008 at 5:49 PM

But John Kerry still has the “hat”…

d1carter on October 20, 2008 at 5:52 PM

Well, at least we will know that one day, Kerry will have to face this himself. And thanks to Kerry’s disgusting joke, I have a disgusting reply to him, in kind. I hope this happens to you sooner rather than later. And I hope that you live a long life with this condition. I hope you are humiliated when the nurses have to change you. And I hope you think about this daily. What an absolute disgusting degenerate John Kerry is. I hope someone spits in his earpiece next time he is about to go on television. Thanks for the idea, Claire Mccaskill.

wise_man on October 20, 2008 at 5:54 PM

Kerry was born December 11, 1943.

McCain was born August 29, 1936.

What makes Kerry so cocky on topic?

Entelechy on October 20, 2008 at 5:58 PM

I suppose if Kerry were Sec of State, he’d post a pic of his hero on the wall in his office. Just where do you get a pic of Neville Chamberlain nowdays?

GarandFan on October 20, 2008 at 5:58 PM

Once Obama is done sharing the wealth Kerry won’t be able to afford depends when he needs them. It would almost be worth an Obama win to watch that!!

Bicyea on October 20, 2008 at 6:13 PM

Of course Kerry is so brave he has his debates for his senate seat scheduled for Sunday morning or again Monday Night Football when the Patriots are playing. (Yes, he’s running for re-election this year and even though he’s going to win that’s when his debates were really schedule to air. Some piece of work there.)

Dave_d on October 20, 2008 at 6:15 PM

Who wrote that for him, Tina Fey’s writers?–NOT funny.

That was a HORRIBLE thing to say. About on the same par as the troops being unintelligent–oh yeah, he was kidding. No he wasn’t!

People forget how Obama didn’t even visit the German hospital–that’s a democrat!!

Some people still believe the democrats are for the oppressed and are really compassionate.

Kerry is a great example of a democrat.

People wisen up.

The Democrats are more elite than the Republicans could/would ever be.

Conservatives R Us on October 20, 2008 at 6:20 PM

Add Ken Adelman to list of RINO jerkoffs who think anyone who isn’t an elite is incapable of high office.

Speedwagon82 on October 20, 2008 at 6:25 PM

Congratulations, Mr. Kerry, you (and quite possibly all those who vote for you every six years) are a full-fledged complete lowlife. You think nothing of denigrating the Senate you serve (which you do for us, the people), or fellow senators. You denigrate real Swiftbaoaters, though you spent your military career planning an easy escape. You denigrate the troops as stupid, though you barely made it out of school. You denigrate women of modest means as jump from one steaming pile of cash to another. You are nothing but a lowlife coward.

The one saving grace you have is that you somehow manage to make another fellow lowlife, Ted Kennedy, seem not as low. You are a POS, which doesn’t stand for point-of-sale.

Western_Civ on October 20, 2008 at 6:30 PM

John Kerry is a child. My parents prepared me for a lot in life but they never prepared me for the unbelievable immaturity I would face from other adults and our “leaders”. These are folks who grow up physically, have jobs, make money and do as they like but they are in every other way calculable, children. And frankly, I have ceased being surprised at the childishness of our politicians or journalists. Whether its John Kerry, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Maureen Dowd, Keith Olberman, Charles Rangel or Dick Durbin. These people just doesn’t surprise me anymore. I have spent enough time around kids to now have expectations of how they will react in certain situations and I apply that knowledge in predicting democrat behavior.

During 2004 campaign McCain never spoke out forcefully against Kerry. he simply spoke in favor of Bush. McCain is not a fan of Bush so I expected him to campaign but not be overly vigorous. He did that. His speech at the 2004 convention was more a defense of Bush, war policy and the need to stay strong than it was about anything else. McCain denounced the swiftboat ads and came to Kerrys defense in the midst of the attacks on Kerrys service record and medals.

Fast forward to 2008. John Kerry, a man who asked McCain to be his vice presidential running mate, has relentlessly and cheaply attacked McCain from day one showing no class and respect for his service or record whatsoever. Thinking only of himself and the chance at some kind of revenge, as a child would do, he has waged a weird sort of vendetta against McCain and done something I didn’t feel was possible — diminished himself further below the already microscopic stature he already held in my book.

titus_pullo on October 20, 2008 at 6:31 PM

Kerry jokes: McCain wears Depends

This crap coming from “Hanoi John Kerry,” the a$$hole that wore band aids on scratches, that supposedly earned him 5 purple hearts for a few months of combat in Vietnam, GRRRRrrrr…..

byteshredder on October 20, 2008 at 6:33 PM

I may disagree with Obama more/stronger than with wusses Kerry and Gore. I may think Obama’s more a threat to this country than they are. But I’ll tell you this: Whether he’s a Marxist or not, Obama’s brighter than these losers, John Kerry and Algore.

petefrt on October 20, 2008 at 6:41 PM

I wish I were not on active duty so I could write an e-mail to the good Senator to tell him what a POS he is. I’m so close to retirement, I might just anyway.


Colin Powell, are you freaking listening?


hawkdriver on October 20, 2008 at 6:44 PM

Where is the media? We all know. The real question is what are we going to do about it?

Crickets on every evil thing that’s said about a Republican, but front page coverage about a single comment yelled from the crowd of a McCain/Palin rally.


hawkdriver on October 20, 2008 at 6:47 PM

Has the distinguished humorist & Botox customer Kerry also ridicule Teddy or the Kleegle for their advanced years?

jgapinoy on October 20, 2008 at 7:01 PM

Botox customer Kerry

As opposed to Botox customer (& hair transplant recipient) Biden.

jgapinoy on October 20, 2008 at 7:03 PM

McCain’s seven years older than Kerry. I gave Olby a break for his own achingly lame attempt at humor in this vein awhile back, so I guess I’m duty bound to wave Waffles through, too.

So, just so we’re clear. Legitimate criticisms of Obama are “racist”, and it’s okay to make up stories about people saying “kill him” in order to smear the McCain campaign and make Obama a victim… Yet it’s perfectly acceptable for a sitting Senator, who was the Dems previous presidential candidate, to publicly mock McCain for being old, in such a disgusting way.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t really care if this was a late night show, and I myself might even joke about McCain in such a way. But I’m not a sitting Senator and a leader in the Democratic Party.

This is yet another example of “can you imagine if the parties were reversed?” Kerry would be resigning right now if he was a Republican.

RightWinged on October 20, 2008 at 7:20 PM

Kerry wears Depends, too, but he wears it on his head like a dork.

scrubjay on October 20, 2008 at 7:23 PM

so I guess I’m duty bound to wave Waffles through, too.

Don’t you think a senator should be held to a higher standard than an entertainer? What if Bush told a joke like that about Kleegle–is it OK for Presidents?

jgapinoy on October 20, 2008 at 7:44 PM

Drudge put this up (with photo)

Marcus on October 20, 2008 at 7:58 PM

Kerry is a buffoon.

Mulligan on October 20, 2008 at 8:04 PM

Hillary put him up to this, didn’t she.

Ronnie on October 20, 2008 at 8:24 PM

Joe the Plumber,needs to flush out Kerry!!haha.

Another brilliant moment in Kerry’s glorious
political career!

canopfor on October 20, 2008 at 9:28 PM

Kerry had a less than honorable discharge, he got it upgraded to honorable by the Carter administration.

Kerry is a POS.

Old Hippie Vet on October 20, 2008 at 9:46 PM

Kerry is such an ass and doesn’t even suspect that that might be the case. And now, junior high school humor–what a guy.

jeanie on October 20, 2008 at 9:56 PM

Gee that’s funny as hell from a man that looks like an oompa loompa on steroids.

f off John F’in Kerry.

tickleddragon on October 20, 2008 at 10:04 PM

I suppose Kerry was the source for this oldie:
Remember when Clinton, during his first campaign, was asked by those college kids, “Do you wear boxers or briefs?”
Soon afterward, someone asked Clinton’s opponent, Bob Dole, the same question.
He answered, “Well…depends.”

jgapinoy on October 20, 2008 at 10:28 PM

first second campaign

jgapinoy on October 20, 2008 at 10:28 PM

darii on October 20, 2008 at 4:42 PM

Darii that Depends story was an absolute hoot.

Actually, the humor in here is outstanding. Thank you all for a lot of laughs tonight.

UnEasyRider on October 20, 2008 at 10:33 PM

thought Colin Powell was competing for secretary of state in a Obama administration. What makes Kerry think that he is going to be the one for such a position?

clemycali on October 20, 2008 at 4:36 PM

Didn’t you hear? Jawn Carry has a plan. He said so.

onlineanalyst on October 20, 2008 at 10:38 PM

Kerry has room to talk. He thinks he is Mr. Macho man. He is a whiny wimp. And at least John McCain has a drop dead gorgeous wife. Kerry’s wife is uglier then my rottie! Kerry was no war hero at all. McCain was a hero. All other words are to good for the likes of Kerry! Obama said he probably would make Powell Secretary of State. You lose Kerry!

sheebe on October 21, 2008 at 3:50 AM

Oops, cut the last part off. McCain and Palin are going to win! night all

sheebe on October 21, 2008 at 3:51 AM

That joke only works when it’s being self deprecating.. if someone asked John McCain the question and McCain said, ‘Depends’…

other than that, it’s showing off the guy is a jerk..

big surprise, I guess.. seeing how it is John Kerry, after all.

DaveC on October 21, 2008 at 9:56 AM