Finally: Monkey waiters
posted at 10:00 pm on October 9, 2008 by Allahpundit
For now, it’s just a gimmick. But give the Nikkei another week like this and before you know it the labor force will be 40 percent macaque. As it is, the big A’s goal tomorrow morning? Blind drunk by the time the opening bell rings on Wall Street.
I can’t wait until the election’s over and we can go back to blogging moronic viral videos. The spice of life!
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What are we going to talk about when the election’s over? On the plus side, President Barry may be good for business. I hear that throwing stones at an administration is a lucrative blogging/merchandising enterprise.
amerpundit on October 9, 2008 at 10:02 PM
Sanitation grade?
That’s disgusting.
SouthernGent on October 9, 2008 at 10:03 PM
Pretty soon, people will start lobbying for human-monkey marriage.
MedSchoolCatholic on October 9, 2008 at 10:04 PM
In soviet united states, circa 2009, moronic videos post you!
lorien1973 on October 9, 2008 at 10:04 PM
What does the waiters’ union say about this?
jgapinoy on October 9, 2008 at 10:05 PM
I just saw the story on SNL Weekend Update. Man, their version does not do this video justice. Pretty cool thing to see. A little disturbing, but anything to bring business I guess.
jencab on October 9, 2008 at 10:05 PM
That was awesome. It almost made me forget that we are heading into the financial abyss.
I can’t wait for the follow up video. Bad Tipper’s get their face bitten off by wait staff. It’ll be the best video…evah!
Lance Murdock on October 9, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Doesn’t this justify Spain recently giving monkeys human rights?
jencab on October 9, 2008 at 10:06 PM
What a country!
D0WNT0WN on October 9, 2008 at 10:06 PM
I’m holding out for a monkey butler.
BL@KBIRD on October 9, 2008 at 10:08 PM
Is that why John McCain
Won’t deal with them in Spain?
jgapinoy on October 9, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Paging George Allen….
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on October 9, 2008 at 10:11 PM
Just don’t run out of Beans for tips or the waiter might give you a present you didn’t ask for in true monkey fashion.
Dreadnought223 on October 9, 2008 at 10:12 PM
How about a masseuse?
jgapinoy on October 9, 2008 at 10:13 PM
Monkeys would make better politicians.
At least they understand throwing poo at your opponents is a legitimate tactic.
lorien1973 on October 9, 2008 at 10:15 PM
…I hear that Barney Frank is looking for a live-in monkey…er…personal servant….
…and Larry Craig is willing to go in halvsies….
Puritan1648 on October 9, 2008 at 10:17 PM
My grandmother was bitten by a monkey so I don’t think I’d go there.
boomer on October 9, 2008 at 10:17 PM
Voltaire (or was it Rousseau?) said that baboons knew exactly what we were saying, but played dumb so we wouldn’t force them into working for us.
I want Obama’s view on this issue.
He knows everything, anyway, already.
profitsbeard on October 9, 2008 at 10:19 PM
I misread your post and said…..”Monkey butter” and I’m sure you would get some of that.
I love my hair messed with. Could I get a monkey to pick at my hair?
HornetSting on October 9, 2008 at 10:19 PM
Isn’t this racist?
John Doe on October 9, 2008 at 10:19 PM
“Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?”
[Waiter lets out high-pitched screech, defecates on table and several patrons]
Jim Treacher on October 9, 2008 at 10:21 PM
Bestiality hits Hotair.
Oh…Butler!
lorien1973 on October 9, 2008 at 10:22 PM
HornetString at 10:19 PM-
Monkey butter is great on tarsier toast.
profitsbeard on October 9, 2008 at 10:22 PM
It’s amazing what a civilization will do for labor when it is not breeding fast enough to replace it’s workforce. At least the monkeys will not pray to Mecca 5 times a day, like the imported workforce of Europe seems to be doing.
dentalque on October 9, 2008 at 10:25 PM
Monkeys–doing the jobs that the Japanese just won’t do.
jgapinoy on October 9, 2008 at 10:27 PM
I hear it’s even better on grilled moonbat.
HornetSting on October 9, 2008 at 10:31 PM
…using a black politician — especially this one — in the same context as a simian…what is it….
…
…
…
…
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!
…obvious reference to undocumented workers….
…what is it?
…
…
(wait for it)
…
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!
…homosexual hot monkey love….
…what is it?
…well, technically it isn’t racial…in the twisted modern patter of today’s politics, it’d be “homophobic”….
HEY…that last one was mine…so, I get to choose….
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!
…damn…I could go on Olberman’s show….
Puritan1648 on October 9, 2008 at 10:36 PM
Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!
TheSitRep on October 9, 2008 at 10:38 PM
Don’t give ACORN any ideas.
TheSitRep on October 9, 2008 at 10:39 PM
That is not the monkey I saw get spanked in [redacted]
rockhauler on October 9, 2008 at 10:39 PM
Anyone who has been to a big enough zoo know there’s two major types of monkeys: howler monkeys and hurler monkeys. Those whom have seen what the hurler variety fling at each other and at passersby will not want one anywhere near their food or within throwing distance of it.
viking01 on October 9, 2008 at 10:40 PM
Are they paid half of minimum wage and taxed 10% of their total sales?
Tommy_G on October 9, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Those resigned to fate tend to assist it.
spmat on October 9, 2008 at 10:43 PM
Dude. Old story. I live in Japan and this is nothing more than some reporter doing his best to dig up an oddity. I’ve never been to the place in question, but I can tell you that neither have 99.9999% of people who live within 30 miles of that place.
Cute monkey. Gotta’ get me a camera and head up that way.
Tokyo Times on October 9, 2008 at 10:44 PM
They’ve already registered every occupant of the Indianapolis zoo.
jgapinoy on October 9, 2008 at 10:45 PM
Guys,
Please don’t forget…that’s how “Planet of the Apes” began.
Will we never learn?
Over.
1GooDDaDDy on October 9, 2008 at 10:50 PM
My eyes must be going. At first glance I thought the headline read ‘Monkey Writers’. Which would be an upgrade in personality from the automatons currently employed by the MSM.
thirtypundit on October 9, 2008 at 10:52 PM
This will end the first time the poo flies.
Tom Blogical on October 9, 2008 at 10:53 PM
beautiful, can I steal that?
TheSitRep on October 9, 2008 at 10:57 PM
I doubt that it’s theft, but sure.
spmat on October 9, 2008 at 11:04 PM
Nut Monkey, He’s loose in the house… there he goes, catch him!
SkinnerVic on October 9, 2008 at 11:04 PM
You sir, are a racist. Report to summary deprogramming.
Remember, the Computer is your Friend!
spmat on October 9, 2008 at 11:06 PM
Hey, maybe evolution is true! Grandpa? Great great great great great great great great great great great great grandpa is that you??? It’s me, apacalyps. I missed you… lol … oh… lol … a big loud happy table slapping laugh!
apacalyps on October 9, 2008 at 11:09 PM
It didn’t work out in Spain because the s**t kept hitting the flan.
viking01 on October 9, 2008 at 11:12 PM
Next stop, Buddhist monk-eys?
profitsbeard on October 9, 2008 at 11:22 PM
About damn time.
km on October 9, 2008 at 11:22 PM
Japan is still the number one innovative country in the world.
The found a way to get a democrat to work.
winemkr on October 9, 2008 at 11:27 PM
Real Monkeys–doing the jobs that the
Japanesecheese-eating surrender monkeys just won’t do.Fixed it.
ManlyRash on October 9, 2008 at 11:28 PM
Yes but when will the monkey WRITERS get here? Bring on the Shakespeare!
rihar on October 9, 2008 at 11:35 PM
Did I just see a ‘Paranoia’ reference? That brings me back.
rihar on October 9, 2008 at 11:36 PM
This gives me an idea for Congress.
Maxx on October 9, 2008 at 11:51 PM
And I thought “Monkey Business” was just a movie1
OldEnglish on October 10, 2008 at 12:17 AM
movie! Shift won’t shift!
OldEnglish on October 10, 2008 at 12:18 AM
Woman at 0:45 – “is that, hair gel?”
WisCon on October 10, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Dang. You actually do have a funneh.
RushBaby on October 10, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Heartless bastard. What did those monkeys ever do to you?
hillbillyjim on October 10, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Weird. Usually it goes from starting as a waiter, then working your way up to a writer for SNL. I guess for chimps, it goes the other way around. But given the recent quality of SNL skits….I guess this shouldn’t too much of a surprise.
CatsGodot on October 10, 2008 at 2:03 AM
Excuse me, soup…there’s a fly on my waiter
JetBoy on October 10, 2008 at 5:35 AM
I love monkeys and I am for damn dirty apes doing anything they can!!
Grafted on October 10, 2008 at 6:41 AM
If St. Louis was any indication, I’m quite sure the activities you propose will be strictly illegal.
CC
CapedConservative on October 10, 2008 at 7:38 AM
Pray for Mojo
HAHAHA OH WOW on October 10, 2008 at 8:16 AM
Doing the work Americans won’t.
Hening on October 10, 2008 at 8:41 AM
Obviously another racist message brought to you by the GOP.
YellowDawg on October 10, 2008 at 9:31 AM
darury on October 10, 2008 at 9:54 AM
What do you mean “finally?”
mugged on October 10, 2008 at 11:41 AM
Lame… I know Border Collies that are far more intelligent and talented than these things.
RightWinged on October 10, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Yes. But can they get mortgages?
andycanuck on October 10, 2008 at 12:12 PM