I held off as long as I could but now the Boston papers are on it, which makes it capital-N News. John Kerry! With younger women! Posing for photos! And one of them was drinking … from a penis-shaped straw!

Kerry’s office demanded TMZ.com change the way it was posting the matter.

“The caption on this TMZ gossip website is completely erroneous and insulting, and it should be immediately corrected. As Sen. Kerry and two friends left dinner at the Straight Warf restaurant on Nantucket and walked down the dock, a large group on a boat recognized Senator Kerry and asked if they could have a photo taken. The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a photo with Sen. Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story,” said Kerry spokesperson David Wade.

So Lurch gets “caught” hanging around with a bunch of kids and the most salacious evidence anyone can produce is pictures of him looking typically awkward and confused while everyone else parties? Unless TMZ’s following the Enquirer’s incomprehensible strategy of sitting on their smoking-gun evidence, I dare say he’s getting a bad rap here. Besides, unless any of these girls are multimillionaires, they’re not his type, right? (‘S okay — this political season, “sugar mommy” jokes are in.)