Horror: Popular fast-food chain serves toxic substances to customers
posted at 9:40 pm on July 21, 2008 by Allahpundit
I’d call it a late evening palate cleanser except that my palate doesn’t feel especially “cleansed” right now.
Admit it — you’d totally wolf that Oreo pizza. Dibs on the wax-like substance!
Domino’s Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
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What?! That’s exactly what I eat fast food. I like the sense of risk
Canerican on July 21, 2008 at 9:44 PM
Aside from the garbage pizza…and yes, I know it’s the Onion here…people will eat literally anything on a crust.
I still can’t figure out that whole Pineapple and Ham pizza (bleech) or the BBQ Chicken pizza (double bleech)
They already have cheese-stuffed crust (just as an added heart attack starter)
JetBoy on July 21, 2008 at 9:47 PM
It’s an evolutionary advantage. Why do you think we’re the dominant species? Opposable thumbs? Pffttt!
VolMagic on July 21, 2008 at 9:51 PM
I’m still waiting for a pizza that
has a fine Canadian beaver toppings!
jus sayin!haha.
canopfor on July 21, 2008 at 9:51 PM
I love that they call it a “Hawaiian” pizza. I lived in Hawaii for three years – there’s nothing especially Hawaiian about that concoction, other than the pineapple. If they really wanted to reflect the island palate, the ham would be replaced with Spam.
Still, none of the pizzas shown beat the ‘ugh’ level of the ‘Chinese food on a pizza crust’ horror that I had once. Sweet and sour chicken pizza – the memories haunt me to this day.
Slublog on July 21, 2008 at 9:52 PM
I’m not crazy about chocolate so forget the Oreo. But, melted cheese! Oh yea, cheese on top and cheese in the crust. Mmm, mmm good.
atxcowgirl on July 21, 2008 at 9:55 PM
What in the world is wrong with BBQ chicken pizza?
jimmy the notable on July 21, 2008 at 9:57 PM
The Onion has been monitoring my dreams.
jaime on July 21, 2008 at 9:57 PM
I have had the worst pizza imaginable and the best one.
Worst: Duck Pizza… you figure it out and no I didn’t order it. YUCK!
Best: (Mooses Tooth Gourmet!) Solstice Pizza… click the link to figure it out! YUMMY!
upinak on July 21, 2008 at 10:00 PM
Eh, maybe I’m a purist, but the only fruit that should be on a pizza is the tomato. Talking about SPAM though (which is OK I guess) what are the chances there’s a Scrapple pizza served somewhere in Philly?
I don’t even want to know…
JetBoy on July 21, 2008 at 10:00 PM
jimmy the notable on July 21, 2008 at 9:57 PM
It needs more
cow bellarugula?VolMagic on July 21, 2008 at 10:00 PM
Hey! I am going to take some time to comment………
(Ding Dong)
……….. (Besta Wan Special with extra sauce)
Mnmgnhtgh…….. maneghlgkle…. (droooool), talk among yourselves…….
Seven Percent Solution on July 21, 2008 at 10:03 PM
Uh, where is my oreo pizza? That looked delicious (seriously). Oreo’s are like top 10 in the food of the gods list. Even though, if you’ve noticed. Double Stuff oreos now contain as much stuffing as a “normal” oreo used to. And normal oreos hardly have any stuffing at all. Bastards.
Anyways, top 5 best foods EVER:
1-McGriddle
2-McRib
3-BK Sausage Croissant
4-Breakfast Pizza
5-Oreos
lorien1973 on July 21, 2008 at 10:05 PM
I have never like Oreos. Blech.
SouthernGent on July 21, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Dang…. how do you stay so thin?
upinak on July 21, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Wot, no green peppers? (Onion is a root, not a fruit, so it’s allowed. Mushrooms are fruiting bodies, not fruit; ditto.)
njcommuter on July 21, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Ugh, when I was pregnant, I used to watch those pizza commercials and Taco Smell, and start gagging.
4shoes on July 21, 2008 at 10:08 PM
OMG the McRib!! Here in the North East, they’ve been gone for a long time. I keep hearing Micky D’s in the South and West would have them from time to time…but alas, the goodness never stayed around here long.
’tis better to have loved and lost…
btw McRib WAAAY better than McGriddle. I’m a sausage biscuit dude myself…haha….
JetBoy on July 21, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Ditto.
4shoes on July 21, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Agreed. Unfortunately, my wife likes pineapple on her pizza.
Needless to say, we order separate pizzas. I tend to like dead animals on my pizza – ham, sausage, pepperoni, hamburger, prosciutto, etc…
Slublog on July 21, 2008 at 10:10 PM
I like barbecue chicken pizza, myself. Where you need to look out for any kind of ethnic food is in a place far, far away from the original native country of that food. My cousin found this out, ordering a “pissa” in Thailand. Same goes for Mexican food in any state that does not actually border Mexico. YUK!
Sekhmet on July 21, 2008 at 10:10 PM
and psssst, Milanos (double chocolate, black and white) beat out Oreo’s in my book…but it’s negotiable :-)
JetBoy on July 21, 2008 at 10:11 PM
McDonalds only serves mcribs during the winter (nov-jan) down here. I assume it’s the same all over the country. The happiest day of the year is when mcribs are here; the saddest is the day you drive up and they are gone again. :(
lorien1973 on July 21, 2008 at 10:11 PM
When I was in Germany they had McRibs all the time.
The Germans loves themselves some pork.
And beer.
TABoLK on July 21, 2008 at 10:16 PM
McRibs usually taste funny to me, but I think they are freezer burnt by the time they get up here.
upinak on July 21, 2008 at 10:18 PM
Nothing beats chocolate dipped mint Oreos. Mmmmmmmm.
Sekhmet on July 21, 2008 at 10:18 PM
I wish I could share that sadness…I haven’t seen a McRib in any McDonalds around here in years and years. They were on the “dollar menu” (McRib Jr.) for a short time, but….argh, I want one so bad! I try to make my own with those processed pork things from the supermarket, but it’s not the same.
JetBoy on July 21, 2008 at 10:19 PM
Yeah, I prefer my pizza toppings to have had parents at one time. No anchovies tho. Again, fish is one of those things that should be kept far from a pizza pie.
JetBoy on July 21, 2008 at 10:22 PM
I had a taco salad pizza once. It was pretty good.
AZCoyote on July 21, 2008 at 10:24 PM
I own a restaurant. A guy asked for pickles in his ice cream one time. I gladly sold it to him. People would eat ground up hamsters simmered in motor oil after being breaded by rolling them in sawdust. All they need is a picture to point at.
“Yeah, um, hey, that Dusty Rodent thing-y…is it any good?”
“Well, we sell alot of them.”
“Let me try a large.”
windbag on July 21, 2008 at 10:27 PM
I’m still waiting for a pizza that has a fine Canadian beaver toppings! – CanOp
Now, when you say ‘beaver’ … do you mean beaver? Or do you mean, you know, *beaver*?
Tony737 on July 21, 2008 at 10:29 PM
… what are the chances there’s a Scrapple pizza served somewhere in Philly? – Jet
Oh my gawd!
That’s the greatest idea EVER!
I’m SO making that tomorrow morning!
Tony737 on July 21, 2008 at 10:31 PM
A guy asked for pickles in his ice cream one time. – Wind
Was he preggers?
Tony737 on July 21, 2008 at 10:32 PM
I like to keep it simple, Pepperoni and Jalapeno’s thin crust.
Oh, and I would totally go for the Oreo pizza.
conservnut on July 21, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Halibut on pizza rocks!
upinak on July 21, 2008 at 10:34 PM
That gives me a great idea. Chesse Steak pizza!!!!
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
conservnut on July 21, 2008 at 10:35 PM
Ok what is a scrapple pizza?
Splain Please!
upinak on July 21, 2008 at 10:36 PM
So much great tasting junk, so many chances of a heart attack. Is it worth it? Eh, what the heck….
mram on July 21, 2008 at 10:38 PM
Mmmmm …ground-up hamsters simmered in motor oil with sawdust breading…. Ahhh!
Washed down with a pint of the A.C. water… urp!
Hold the onions!
profitsbeard on July 21, 2008 at 10:43 PM
I beg to differ. Fried chocolate dipped mint Oreos wrapped in bacon.
I’m not into sweets though, so I’d still prefer bacon-wrapped hot dogs, bacon covered venison, bacon covered duck, all-meat pizza that includes bacon, bacon and cheeze omlette, bacon… well, you get the idea.
Hollowpoint on July 21, 2008 at 10:45 PM
That gives me a great idea. Chesse Steak pizza!!!! – ConNut
That’s already been done, but your enthusiasm rocks! We (here in the Philly area) also have a pizza cheesesteak (just called a pizza steak).
Tony737 on July 21, 2008 at 10:48 PM
… all-meat pizza that includes bacon, bacon and cheeze omlette … – Hollow
Heh, remins me of the ad for Beggin Strips.
“I SMELL BACOOOOOOON!! Baconbaconbaconbaconbacon! There’s only one thing that smells lIke bacon and that’s BACOOOOON!”
Tony737 on July 21, 2008 at 10:51 PM
in the little town I went to highschool in there was a pizza joint that sold double decker pizzas…… man were they good.
mrfixit on July 21, 2008 at 10:54 PM
yeah…. gimme the heart attack special… =)
mrfixit on July 21, 2008 at 10:55 PM
hahahahaha Thanks for the bedtime laughs.
*heads off to dream of chicken wing pizza w/ bleu cheese drizzle baked on* – YUM!
inviolet on July 21, 2008 at 10:59 PM
Now when you say ‘beaver’…do you mean beaver?
Or do you mean,you know *beaver*?
Tony737 on July 21,2008 at 10:29PM.
Tony737:This will require a delicate fine wire act,lemme
see,on the right,my little devil keeps prodding me
and my gorgeous little angel is waving its little
finger at me,so,fearing the lethal “Ban Hammer”,my
little angel is telling me to “plead the Fifth”!
haha:)
canopfor on July 21, 2008 at 11:09 PM
And here I part with the elitist liberal douches at The Onion, for pizza is whatever we want it to be.
And Domino’s may offend the delicate palates of arugula-sniffing pansies from Madison, but the salt-of-the-earth, rock-ribbed denizens of fly-over country and the bottom half of the economic food chain gorge themselves on it with great satisfaction.
Eff-Off, sniveling liberal sushi-suckers.
Jaibones on July 21, 2008 at 11:10 PM
Wow, that twinkie pizza looked good.
boomer on July 21, 2008 at 11:26 PM
Back off, Infidels! That orea pizza is awesome. Take it home and put it in the fridge. It makes a great cold snack for later. Unfortunately they discontinued it in my region, if not entirely.
JimRich on July 21, 2008 at 11:30 PM
Worst food ever? Applebee’s “riblets”. I’m pretty sure they’re cow gums.
However, they’re so tender, the meat falls right off the tooth…
Rhinoboy on July 21, 2008 at 11:36 PM
No way in hell the mcrib is actually processed pork. Just try different pig parts (go to a butcher and ask) until you get it right. I’d be more concerned with figuring out the bbq sauce they use.
Darth Executor on July 21, 2008 at 11:39 PM
I don’t much go for the crust. That’s why I really enjoy the cheese stuffed crust, or the Papa John’s dippin’ garlic butter! mmmmmmmmmm garlic butter. Sometimes I’ll drizzle it on the pizza.
Best breakfast pizza? Left out on the coffee table overnight. Serve room temperature as is.
Ordinary1 on July 21, 2008 at 11:47 PM
Allah, you don’t have much time to get a Quote of the Day up… what’s goin’ on?
RightWinged on July 21, 2008 at 11:47 PM
I just found it. Scroll all the way down on the home page.
Ordinary1 on July 21, 2008 at 11:55 PM
I have cut ALL fast food out of my life. The MSG makes me go into A-Fib. Any food that has the potential to do that to your heart isn’t good. From what I’ve read, KFC has the most MSG.
Believe me, I’m mourning my decision but the episode that urged me to make it was scary as heck.
GoodBoy on July 22, 2008 at 12:22 AM
I have friends from Brazil who like corn on their pizza.
HYTEAndy on July 22, 2008 at 12:33 AM
Is it the anniversary of Domino’s faux mozzarella scam from years ago?
BL@KBIRD on July 22, 2008 at 12:40 AM
While visiting the Phillipines, I had a pizza whose sauce and meat were suspect, highly suspect. If you didn’t fold up the slice like a burrito and cap the end, the sauce and meat would literally slide right off the crust.
Turns out the meat was either lizard or dog, they weren’t exactly clear which and the sauce was a mixture of ketchup and something that made it lumpy.
Bishop on July 22, 2008 at 12:47 AM
You haven’t lived until you’ve had a corn, mayonnaise, and shrimp pizza in Japan.
If you survive the experience, the Mafia will kill you if you ever come to Italy afterwards.
fiatboomer on July 22, 2008 at 12:52 AM
Damn, I’m too late to be the first to say that…
gekkobear on July 22, 2008 at 1:03 AM
Twice-baked corn-dog and mustard pizza for me!
hillbillyjim on July 22, 2008 at 1:44 AM
McMuffins? Or McMuffs?
Choose wisely, O Canadian One.
I know, that was un-called-for… but hey, it’s late.
hillbillyjim on July 22, 2008 at 1:53 AM
In college, we had home-made pizza every Friday…the ingredients were the leftovers (animal, vegetable, or mineral) from all the other days of the week.
With tomato sauce underneath and lots of mozzarella cheese on top, it was all good: pizza is pizza! The only ingredient not allowed: anchovies…but this was never a problem as nobody ever had leftover anchovies.
This was a great way to start the week with a clean refrigerator! And we all lived through it.
landlines on July 22, 2008 at 2:00 AM
You all missed the best part when she said,” The equivalent of five Americans got killed in Afghanistan today” LOL!!!! Ain’t it the truth! :-)
jcmorris on July 22, 2008 at 2:25 AM
I personally feel ill after fast food as I’m in my 30′s. My digestive system can tell the difference between junk and good stuff. Fast food = gross.
I won’t pay for fast food any longer. Why pay to feel bad?
diaphanous on July 22, 2008 at 2:58 AM
Priceless.
tgillian on July 22, 2008 at 6:39 AM
The equivalent of five Americans? So two Afghans and seven Frenchmen?
srhoades on July 22, 2008 at 8:45 AM
There’s a place in Toledo that serves a Tony Paco’s pizza, complete with hot pickles and peppers. It’s wonderful, every bite is a new chilly dog.
I’m getting hungry
pb5000 on July 22, 2008 at 9:27 AM
In Japan, they put lots of corn and squid on their pizzas. Mmm. Squid corn chowdah pizza. Mmmmmm.
Jewel on July 22, 2008 at 10:36 AM
The best Pizza recipe in the world is in the book, “Eat What You Want and Die Like A Man”
Bicyea on July 22, 2008 at 10:52 AM
Chicken, bacon, mushrooms, jalepenos, green peppers – you know you want it.
kirkill on July 22, 2008 at 12:27 PM
I stopped eating “fast food” about 5 years ago. The difference it made in my everyday health and quality of life was remarkable.
I love pizza, but now I make it at home. I know what is in it and on it.
americaslaststand on July 22, 2008 at 12:53 PM
You need to order off the menu, but Pina’s pastrami pizza is a slice of heaven. Make sure you get the mustard sauce.
Zorg on July 22, 2008 at 1:54 PM
There is no Scrapple Pizza in Philly AFAIK, but if there were, it would be topped with the Greatest Mystery Meat of All Time – a gift from the thrifty good ol’ days when the farmer/butcher wasted nary a scrap of that succulent little porker.
Rosmerta on July 22, 2008 at 5:04 PM