Video: Soulless monster destroys man’s most perfect creation
posted at 11:45 am on July 14, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Science or snuff? He did this last year too, which means the only ostensible reason for further “experiments” is to test whether the chintzy plastic case on the new 3G model is sturdier than the brushed metal of iPhone classic. Which is preposterous, thereby making this nothing more or less than a torture video designed to leave drooling fanboys like me shrieking and pawing at the screen. Consider it a gift to the long-suffering Apple-haters in our readership.
Exit question for iPhone users, new and old: Why did Apple make the awesomely awesome new application store available to old iPhone customers instead of limiting it to purchasers of the 3G model? I was all set to go out and buy the new phone, but once I realized that my iPhone classic can run all the same apps (thanks to the upgraded 2.0 firmware), I’m less inclined. Without video chat or an improved camera or special access to the apps store, there’s simply no killer feature on the new phone that would compel an existing customer to upgrade.
Update: Dilemmas, dilemmas.
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Most perfect creation? Beer?
Wethal on July 14, 2008 at 11:47 AM
Someone give AP a tissue…
JetBoy on July 14, 2008 at 11:48 AM
I knew with AP’s return we’d get at least one iPhone story before noon.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Have you seen some of the prices of the applications? There are some free ones, but others run at $10/piece. That’s some serious coinage over several years.
I’d have to see a cut-paste ability in order to consider upgrading, but many wanted the 3G network and to be able to say they had the new model.
amerpundit on July 14, 2008 at 11:51 AM
Obama is coming out with his own version.
The mePhony.
profitsbeard on July 14, 2008 at 11:51 AM
So what did AP use his stimulus check to buy instead of the 3G iPhone?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Tabletop Blender is $399.95. Looks like a better buy to me!
RushBaby on July 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM
I absolutely love this series!
pilamaye on July 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM
I hear it has a holographic tip calculator the flips virtual coins into the blouses of waitresses.
BL@KBIRD on July 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM
I think you meant to say iPhony.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM
Asian hookers while on vacation last week.
Valiant on July 14, 2008 at 11:57 AM
That’s not wanton destruction, it’s a software update.
daveintexas on July 14, 2008 at 11:58 AM
Hey! I thought “soulless monster” was an epithet reserved for kitty/puppy/child abusers?
And poster #1 is right — beer is the most perfect creation. I can’t believe you would disagree, Allahpundit.
Blake on July 14, 2008 at 12:01 PM
Just for curiosity…
Has he tried to blend the humping robot yet?
FloridaBill on July 14, 2008 at 12:08 PM
You know AP, you run around worshipping and fainting over the iPhone, but can you name one political achievement the iPhone has made?
NotCoach on July 14, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Snore….
Christine on July 14, 2008 at 12:09 PM
Dr. Cwac Cwac at 11:53 AM-
Someone already promoted that (iPhony) immediately after the iPhone’s appearance to have a software workaround for other, similar phones.
Obama wouldn’t infringe on anyone else’s (”Just words?”) work, now would he?
profitsbeard on July 14, 2008 at 12:12 PM
I ahve the new 3G, it is everything you hoped it would be and more.
Speaking if Apple and liberals….
My wife and I got our 16GB phones in the AM, only waited 3 hours at an ATT store. That evening we went to the Apple Store at the Domain in Austin, TX and at 2030 hrs they still ahd a line out the door about 200 people deep. We went in to get some accessories. As were were looing around I was seeing all these Obama t-shirts everywhere. After we made our purchase I said to a grrop of Obama supporters…”Remember, tomorrow the offical party line is that the economy is in a recession and things have never been worse, becuase if you said it today eveyone would think you were crazy” I got the typical liberal sour face head shaking because I “Just don’t get it”.
RobertInAustin on July 14, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Watch THIS news reporter giving heck, and getting it back, to people on line for the iPhone…
JetBoy on July 14, 2008 at 12:15 PM
welcome back :)
saus on July 14, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Forget the iphone…I have one of those blenders and they ROCK. I must use it at least 3 times a day.
Never blended any Apples though. :)
Sarjex on July 14, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Fritzl = iPhone blender
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2008 at 12:22 PM
LOL, welcome back AP :)
trailortrash on July 14, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Ap wasn’t in Asia. He was camped at the Apple Store on 5th Avenue. You know, the one in front of CBS.
He figured he’d kill two birds with one stone……get his beloved 3G and hopefully catch a glimpse of Katie Couric going to work.
BacaDog on July 14, 2008 at 12:33 PM
It’s a floor wax and a dessert!
Kini on July 14, 2008 at 12:36 PM
Heart-ache.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2008 at 12:38 PM
Chortle!
Bob's Kid on July 14, 2008 at 12:54 PM
That’s exactly what my husband said. We happened to be in San Antonio on Saturday and went to the Apple Store. There was NO WAY I was going to stand in a 3+ hour line in 95 degree heat.
We’ll wait for all the hoopla to die down, then go get a new one. I’m happy with hubby’s hand-me-down and I can be very patient.
pullingmyhairout on July 14, 2008 at 12:57 PM
The pieces need to be smaller when he is done.
All the pieces!!
Jim708 on July 14, 2008 at 12:59 PM
These videos are all leading up to his final video. Where he finds out if he blends. Scary stuff.
koolbrease on July 14, 2008 at 1:09 PM
Anyone else ever notice that Apple products have an unusual odor?
snaggletoothie on July 14, 2008 at 1:28 PM
Dude, it’s an (months) older version of a current product not a “classic” in the customary sense of the word. To be a classic the thing needs to be used by a wider audience than puffed-up techno geeks with more discretionary income than fiscal common sense.
highhopes on July 14, 2008 at 1:46 PM
Well, the killer feature is that fact that it has finally achieved functional parity with the average 2 or 3 year old smart phone or PDA, with 3g and enterprise email.
DaveS on July 14, 2008 at 1:52 PM
3G iPhones will have to do better than 3-5 hour battery life before I’m interested…
rockbend on July 14, 2008 at 1:52 PM
BacaDog!
LOL
cjn on July 14, 2008 at 1:59 PM
I think everyone should have 2 of em’….One to $**t on and one to cover it up with…
BigWyo on July 14, 2008 at 2:04 PM
…unless you’re an idiot.
RMCS_USN on July 14, 2008 at 2:54 PM
Apple’s strategy is large-scale and long-term. They’re building the dominant consumer smartphone platform. The more people out there using iPhones and all the software, the more developers will be attracted to the platform, which will bring in more users, etc. Snowball effect.
Apple knows that happy customers are more likely to be repeat customers. I doubt I’ll upgrade my 1st-gen iPhone this year but because I know how great it is, with all the new apps and functions, I’ll definitely get the next new model next year.
By updating my old phone, Apple lost a single device sale but they may have gained a customer for life.
Gilda on July 14, 2008 at 3:24 PM
Because the essential point with the app store is to quickly build up a library of apps that will lock iPhone users to their phones. So when the other phone makers catch up to Apple on usability and interface, and perhaps surpass them on display or keyboard, the iPhone users will still not consider switching. That’s long term thinking, smart thinking, and it trumps the short term gains that would come from inducing their base to upgrade. The same considerations lock people to Windows, and that’s worked awfully well even in the face of some poor Windows releases.
And, for us old-iPhone users, it only increases our affection for Apple. I didn’t pay any extra money, and my phone got better. Gotta love it.
Splunge on July 14, 2008 at 3:27 PM
I love this guy.
Grafted on July 14, 2008 at 3:30 PM
Wethal on July 14, 2008 at 3:49 PM
That’s the best thing you can do to any Apple product.
KSgop on July 14, 2008 at 6:29 PM
I have an Iphone now. It’s not all that. I like the blackberry service better but, the phones are not study enough for the dirty construction environment I’m in. The Iphone in an otter box is.
boomer on July 14, 2008 at 8:01 PM
Most perfect creation my ass. Try overpriced toy bought by those who want to show off the device that doesn’t do anything well. But hey it looks good in demos!
All Apple products are overpriced and overhyped.
Anyone dumb enough to buy a phone that you cannot even compete for the cell carrier should go take some classes on economics.
Poptech on July 14, 2008 at 8:18 PM
Funny, I suppose.
I wish I had an iPhone so I could replace this clunky thing I have with a geek toy and see women naked!!! In real life!!!
HotAirJosef on July 14, 2008 at 9:40 PM
3G = at least 5 times faster than EDGE. That would be a reason for fanbois to jump on board.
I’m going to pass on this until it can cut and paste and send a text message since ya know, not everyone has web on their phone since it’s still a bit pricey.
Also, the non-user replaceable battery is a deal killer to me.
Just hoping Blackberry’s new touch screen comes out sooner rather than later so I don’t have to cave and get the Bold instead.
MannyT-vA on July 15, 2008 at 6:42 AM