Video: Precious national resource threatened by wild overconsumption

posted at 10:08 pm on June 30, 2008 by Allahpundit

And unlike global warming, there’s no doubt that this crisis is man-made. What’s to be done? For once, I think the Dems have it dead right: We need a crash course in exploring and exploiting alternative sources of cultural energy. How many crappy, utterly fungible angst-rock bands are there on top 40 radio these days? An inexhaustible supply, my friends. The sooner we convert our tweens from family-friendly bubblegum pop to generic, watered-down post-punk pap, the better off everyone will be.


Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

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I just saw this. EPIC WIN.

I especially love the line graphic with the projection leading towards Rehab.

Damian G. on June 30, 2008 at 10:12 PM

I have been out of the loop way too long. When I first heard Billy Ray “Mullet King” Cyrus’ daughter was famous, I did a double take. And I’m only 20…what’s wrong with me? Or better question: what’s wrong with all of you for being obsessed with this 15 year old?

jimmy the notable on June 30, 2008 at 10:18 PM

The teaser at the end for the upcoming story about an earthquake that wiped out etchi-sketchi-stan was frikkin hilarious.

Guardian on June 30, 2008 at 10:19 PM

…and after the earthquake, “USA Today to phase out words.”

RBMN on June 30, 2008 at 10:21 PM

…and after the earthquake, “USA Today to phase out words.”

RBMN on June 30, 2008 at 10:21 PM

I didn’t even know the McPaper used words – just color graphics and leftwing rat pellets.

TexasJew on June 30, 2008 at 10:24 PM

Frackin hilarious. I love the ONN.

rockmom on June 30, 2008 at 10:25 PM

It’s gonna be OK, they can have my share.

JimK on June 30, 2008 at 10:34 PM

I was worried the resource was beer. Caused a momentary panic.

Sue on June 30, 2008 at 10:35 PM

Wasn’t this Ted Turner’s position on everything?

profitsbeard on June 30, 2008 at 10:38 PM

I was worried the resource was beer. Caused a momentary panic.
Sue on June 30, 2008 at 10:35 PM

.
A threat to the national Beer supply would be a crisis.
.
Ms. Cyrus … not so much.

Right_of_Attila on June 30, 2008 at 10:40 PM

The obvious solution is a Strategic Cyrus Reserve that will hold images of a charming and nubile teen that can be drawn down once the original discovery has been depleted. It should also hold a sample of her dna so that when the technology is perfected it can be downloaded into her adoring fans’ chromosomes.

pedestrian on June 30, 2008 at 10:46 PM

My daughter wants ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING “Hannah Montana”..

Maybe I should show her this ONN piece. She’s 8 and will believe it’s real if I tell her it is.

Funny stuff.

Talon on June 30, 2008 at 10:47 PM

Etchasketchistan–priceless.

ParisParamus on June 30, 2008 at 11:36 PM

Crawler: “McDonald’s add employee benefits to dollar menu”.

HA!

SouthernGent on June 30, 2008 at 11:38 PM

Or better question: what’s wrong with all of you for being obsessed with this 15 year old?

We’re not obsessed. We have teenage daughters who are though.

BacaDog on June 30, 2008 at 11:42 PM

That was pretty funny!

And I couldn’t pick Miley Cyrus out out of a crowd of two.

Bob's Kid on June 30, 2008 at 11:48 PM

US fuel consumption in June was down something like 3 or 4 percent from June of last year. Inventories stocks are up. Saudi has said they could pump more oil but their storage is full and there is no backlog of tankers to take it away. The market is fully supplied.

What you have are the investment banks and hedge funds buying oil and storing it as a hedge against the dollar. They are betting the storage cost will be less than the gain from a continuing falling dollar.

They are bailing out of real estate and into oil. Fine … until the Feds raise rates and the dollar rises. Then the price of oil drops and that loss gets added to the storage cost and suddenly you are going to have everyone and their brother trying to unload oil at the same time.

When this bubble bursts, some big names will be taking a bath in oil.

crosspatch on July 1, 2008 at 1:01 AM

When this bubble bursts, some big names will be taking a bath in oil.

crosspatch on July 1, 2008 at 1:01 AM

Having had to suffer listening to “Ackey Breaky Heart”, I hope its Miley’s dad, And that the oil is lit.

Now, wasn’t that a seamless segue?

TexasJew on July 1, 2008 at 1:35 AM

A threat to the national Beer supply would be a crisis.
.
Right_of_Attila on June 30, 2008 at 10:40 Pm

I am not worried. I live right down the road from the Shiner Brewery.

Johan Klaus on July 1, 2008 at 1:59 AM

The Onion; Prophetic parodies?

Swinehound on July 1, 2008 at 8:53 AM

When I first heard Billy Ray “Mullet King” Cyrus’ daughter was famous, I did a double take.

Billy Ray is a no-talent one hit wonder, as opposed to Tim McGraw who is a multi-hit no-talent wonder. Billy Ray ought to be thankful his daughter is able to pay the rent.

abcurtis on July 1, 2008 at 9:01 AM

We’re not obsessed. We have teenage daughters who are though.

BacaDog on June 30, 2008 at 11:42 PM

When my daughter was a teenager she was obsessed with Duran Duran. That was the topic of conversation around my house.
So I can understand what the rest of you are going through with HM.

abcurtis on July 1, 2008 at 9:04 AM

A threat to the national Beer supply would be a crisis.

Right_of_Attila on June 30, 2008 at 10:40 PM

One more reason to vote for McCain, whose wife knows a thing or two about the Beer supply.

Bigfoot on July 1, 2008 at 9:14 AM

And I’m only 20…what’s wrong with me? Or better question: what’s wrong with all of you for being obsessed with this 15 year old?

jimmy the notable on June 30, 2008 at 10:18 PM

Because her fan base is made up mostly of 12-15 year old girls.

Lawrence on July 1, 2008 at 10:12 AM

You gotta love THE ONION!!!!

ETCHASKETCHISTAN ??? ABSOLUTE GENIUS!!!

pueblo1032 on July 1, 2008 at 10:38 AM

“…profits drilled from her”

Heh…heh…heh…

We haven’t drilled the Cyrus enought yet…when we’ve reduced her to a narcotics addicted porn star, then our task will have been completed.

Wyznowski on July 1, 2008 at 12:16 PM