Video: The cheesiest re-election ad ever
posted at 3:10 pm on June 21, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Behold the clip that introduced John Cornyn at the recent Texas Republican convention. The debate rages: Was it meant as a joke, as Cornyn himself later claimed, or is it in fact an earnest reworking of Jimmy Dean’s classic that somehow ended up dripping with Velveeta? There have been parodies in this vein before, but if that’s what this is, what’s the punchline?
I guess that jacket he’s wearing in the car qualifies as a punchline. Oof.
Say what you will but the choir really makes it. Exit question: If Fred had been the nominee instead of McCain, this is pretty much what all of his ads would have looked like, right?
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To quote a well-worn, time-honored phrase…….
I DON’T RECALL SEEING THIS IN NO JOHN WAYNE MOVIE!!!!!
pilamaye on June 21, 2008 at 3:14 PM
With an ad like that, I feel strangely compelled to move to Texas and vote for Big John.
Spirit of 1776 on June 21, 2008 at 3:16 PM
Sounds like a Toyota Tundra ad.
Zorro on June 21, 2008 at 3:17 PM
I liked it!
aengus on June 21, 2008 at 3:19 PM
Small states are indignant.
Loved the deep voice!
Entelechy on June 21, 2008 at 3:23 PM
Big John is awesome! I lived in Texas 11 years. This ad reminded me of some of the things I really like about it.
It’s cheesy and it’s funny
and it did make me laugh
but it’s rooted in truth
so it’s not so much a gaff
Big John Ad.
Ordinary1 on June 21, 2008 at 3:24 PM
If I had a fringy jacket, I’d wear it every day.
Rhinoboy on June 21, 2008 at 3:24 PM
Ouf! That was cheesy, when the announcer said John Cornyn at the end, I thought I would hear, “In theaters, summer, 2009.”
That being said, I actually love the ad, cheese or no cheese!
Canerican on June 21, 2008 at 3:25 PM
Down here, the term “Big John” still reminds us of John Connally, who was always known by that.
Oh, since thay mention the Pecos, I’ve lived in Pecos, and I have never seen that kind of schmucky jacket anywhere near the place. He needs to send it over to Goodwill.
He’s got my vote and support, of course. McCain shouldn’t have screamed and cursed at him. Cornyn should have whipped that old useless bastard’s ass.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 3:27 PM
It is in the nature of the beta male to attack the alpha male. Don’t worry. The alpha has too much on his plate to worry about a little beta sour grapes.
VolMagic on June 21, 2008 at 3:28 PM
As my 10 year old might say “that was BAAAAD“, meaning “awesome”.
I liked it. Seems really Texan to me!
ConMom on June 21, 2008 at 3:29 PM
I liked it. Is that bad?
lorien1973 on June 21, 2008 at 3:30 PM
Oh come on. Are you trying to tell me that you would rather watch the typical McCain or Obama ad AP? This is fun and watchable. How many campaign ads can you say that about?
NotCoach on June 21, 2008 at 3:34 PM
If Fred had been the nominee instead of McCain, this is pretty much what all of his ads would have looked like, right?
Well, since McCain’s ads all suck or just put you to sleep (sort of like McCain himself), I can’t see how anyone can make a worse one.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 3:35 PM
He’s one of the good guys right? And he likes a good brew.
I’d trade him for Lieberman.
ctmom on June 21, 2008 at 3:36 PM
Well, I guess we’re even.
As a Texas conservative, I can’t really understand a constantly pessimistic, gulping, gasping, my-glass-is-always-half-full-and-leaking conservative…
who evidently just can’t wrap his mind at all around what makes Texas Texas.
Fair enough.
Go on lesser states… squirm.
Typhoon on June 21, 2008 at 3:38 PM
Texas is great.
brak on June 21, 2008 at 3:46 PM
Thanks for posting it!
I got to preview it before the Convention. I think it’s
W O N D E R F U L..
You go BIG JOHN.. Keep your eyes open Dems.. the WH will one day come back to a TEXAN.
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 3:50 PM
I liked it, but hey, I’m a cowgirl.
I’m not too happy with Cornyn but I guess he’s better than Rick “Fill My Boots” Noriega.
atxcowgirl on June 21, 2008 at 3:50 PM
I like Cornyn, mostly.
Har. You never did feel the man-love, did you AP?
jaime on June 21, 2008 at 3:52 PM
His pooh-kickers don’t stink either.
T J Green on June 21, 2008 at 3:54 PM
I liked it, but hey, I’m a cowgirl.
I’m not too happy with Cornyn but I guess he’s better than Rick “Fill My Boots” Noriega.
atxcowgirl on June 21, 2008 at 3:50 PM
During the McCain-Kennedy disaster, I would call Cornyn’s office and they were staunchly against the bill. Kay Bailey was very.. squishy as I recall. She needs to retire.
Cornyn’s been much more stand-up than Perry as well.. he is the leading Texas Conservative, by a mile. And not just some wishy-washy “compassionate conservative” spend-your-nalgas-off guy like .. well, fill in the blank.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 3:56 PM
There was no light between her and John on McCain-Kennedy.
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 3:58 PM
For those of us who have always liked the Jimmy Dean classic, there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with Cornyn cozying up to down home alliances with a chuckle and a nod.
For the critic who can’t enjoy American folk, get over yourself before hammering on Texas, the home of the Alamo. Once the American Revolution was won, your folk stayed back East like yellow livered pansies showing up in time to play carpet bagger after the West was built. Now you play smarty pants and want us all to ooh and ah at your presumptive sophistry? Allahpundit’s criticism seems to place SNL or satire as the biblical source for all humor if a chuckle accompanies brains.
It takes all kinds, you know. A lot of Texans identify with red, white and blue the old fashioned way. Nothing wrong with aligning with tradition if you believe in tradition, imo.
maverick muse on June 21, 2008 at 4:02 PM
Kay Bailey was very.. squishy as I recall.
There was no light between her and John on McCain-Kennedy.
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 3:58 PM
Texas Gal, as I recall (if you are talking about Cornyn and not McCain), Kay Bailey offered up some half-assed “amendments” as a political cover right at the end. It was disgusting. It undercut the Republicans efforts to quicky kill the thing.
Cornyn simply said that the godawful bill was unsalveable, which was the only proper response.
Kay likes the Senate shmooziness and needs to come home.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 4:06 PM
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 3:56 PM
Kay Bailey’s responses to my queries were strong on holding the line against rewarding illegal behavior in any way. She always pretty well aligns with Cornyn. I was very disappointed when she did the two-step without publicizing what she was getting in return for her flip. Sometimes it’s easier to swallow a friend’s deceit when you know exactly why they betrayed your trust. It certainly bodes for better future warning when the political winds get tornadic.
maverick muse on June 21, 2008 at 4:09 PM
heh
You might be right!
JetBoy on June 21, 2008 at 4:13 PM
If you don’t like this ad, or think it’s simply cheese in an election year full of cheese, then you’re not really Texan. Oh, you might live IN Texas, but you ain’t really Texan. Cornyn’s a good guy from the first time I met him in 1983, right before he went to the Texas Supremes. I’ve been a fan ever since.
And yeah, as a matter of fact, I do own one of those fringe coats.
john1schn on June 21, 2008 at 4:14 PM
Yes I am talking about Cornyn. Actually she and John agreed on that amendment, not as political cover as you characterize, but to amend the Z visa in that bill. They both stood together on that bill and there was no difference between them. Cornyn had a different bill with Kyl that was denied review by Specter.
I’ve had to coin a new word… Texasinvidious. I run into it all the time probably because of my nic.
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 4:15 PM
I hope this doesn’t get me banned from HA…but I really liked that ad. He’s my senator, he’s…big bad John.
Weight of Glory on June 21, 2008 at 4:16 PM
And Bailey wants to run for TX governor.
I will NOT vote for her.
atxcowgirl on June 21, 2008 at 4:17 PM
Hey, I had one of those jackets when I was three and living in El Paso. I was dang proud of that thing…. I daresay that it isn’t his everyday wear. Little doubt that it was worn for some Parade celebrating the early days of Texas. Davey Crockett and the Alamo or something.
As to the commercial; I dunno… Anything that can make smile these days is a welcome relief, and I always liked the song.
LegendHasIt on June 21, 2008 at 4:18 PM
Rick Noriega is a main-line left Democrat.
Here’s his position on energy representing Texas (of all places!):
“Washington politicians’ failures to deliver a coherent national energy policy has hamstrung our ability to take on global warming, to develop alternative sources of energy, to create high-tech environmental jobs
And those wonderful “green jobs” – ie, massive unemployment. Yeah, lets get that going!
Any Democrat like this clown bemoaning the lack of a “coherent energy policy” is like a hooker complaining about widespread adultery.
Another race candidate. Are they all such idiots?
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 4:20 PM
It ain’t braggin’ if you can do it.
rockhauler on June 21, 2008 at 4:22 PM
Wow, that’s one tone-deaf voice-over guy.
nosliwelyk on June 21, 2008 at 4:22 PM
LegendHasIt on June 21, 2008 at 4:18 PM
Must have been the Sunbowl Parade.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 4:23 PM
I, however wore mine nearly constantly, even to bed sometimes. the fringe got rather sparse and I imagine the leather was pretty well rotted by the time Mom could get me out of it long enough to get it cleaned… (Never did see it again after that :-(
;-)
LegendHasIt on June 21, 2008 at 4:26 PM
As a Texan whose family’s been here since 1785 and whose heritage includes someone who fought at the Alamo,
I approve not only of this tongue in cheek ad but of the good senator himself.
Texas has provided the United States with some of the best senators in its history. I remember well my talks with another “Big John”, John Tower. Perhaps the highest IQ of any senator in history. So formidible a foe the democrats had to assassinate him.
Beto Ochoa on June 21, 2008 at 4:34 PM
What’s ironic is the boy, whose choice meals each week consist of velveeta, naming his favorite taste to smear a friend in all sincerity with the best intentions.
maverick muse on June 21, 2008 at 4:39 PM
Of course. It isn’t like Fred, you know, came up with lots of policy points in his campaign or anything.
Could we just let it go, and not bash Fred even in posts that have nothing to do with him? Please?
cs89 on June 21, 2008 at 4:41 PM
You know, that’s actually going to play pretty well down here in Texas. Especially the part about lesser states. When you’ve been your own independent republic, you tend to get an ego. I’ve heard (from Virginians) that we’re the only state even more arrogant about ourselves than Virginia.
So the ad was cheesy. McCain’s a rock hard conservative. I can live with a dumb ad or two.
So … when does the “Big Barack” parody come along?
PurpleWombats on June 21, 2008 at 4:43 PM
Okay, on that paragraph, I meant to say CORNYN is a rock hard conservative.
I’m embarrassed.
PurpleWombats on June 21, 2008 at 4:44 PM
McCain would be so fortunate as to have Cornyn as his running mate. Before representing Texas in the Senate, Cornyn was a great Attorney General.
maverick muse on June 21, 2008 at 4:44 PM
That’s a relief. I thought I was gonna have to get out my whiffle bat.
LegendHasIt on June 21, 2008 at 4:48 PM
That’s ok, you were just thinkin’ about how rock hard headed Johnny Mac is.
Beto Ochoa on June 21, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Allah,
I’ve come to the conclusion that you are an elitist Benthamite. Your disdain for Fred, nearly everything legitimately conservative, the prescriptions of the past, Providence, order, tradition and continuity comes seeping through nearly every post.
I LIKED the ad! Everything about it. I liked the “cheesiness” as you so eloquently put it. But then I love America and her rich traditions including not a small amount of “cheesiness.”
Charles Martel on June 21, 2008 at 4:49 PM
Well, being as Landslide Lyndon and Ralph Yarbrough are two of them we do have to claim some of the worst as well.
It’s alright though. We like to do things big here.
Typhoon on June 21, 2008 at 4:50 PM
Yes, yes.
Sad day it was when the news came.
God Bless John Tower.
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 4:56 PM
My Father worked for both Johnson and Yarbrough. I spent time with and was very fond of both men.
Ralph Yarbrough and John Tower in a battle of wits was like a row boat against the Bismark.
Beto Ochoa on June 21, 2008 at 4:57 PM
You’ve got a point. Gotta give them that they were both Texans, through and through.
Typhoon on June 21, 2008 at 5:01 PM
I’m from Missouri and I wish we had some of that bowleggedness up here!
I loved the ad, cheese and all!
Vince on June 21, 2008 at 5:10 PM
LMAO!
BWAHAHAHA… sheesh…
Chakra Hammer on June 21, 2008 at 5:11 PM
“Big John” might work well for a Larry Craig ad.
Bugler on June 21, 2008 at 5:17 PM
My Father worked for both Johnson and Yarbrough. I spent time with and was very fond of both men.
Ralph Yarbrough and John Tower in a battle of wits was like a row boat against the Bismark.
Beto Ochoa on June 21, 2008 at 4:57 PM
Good old LBJ — here’s a guilty admission..
I worked for LBJ as a go-fer college kid at at KLBJ back in 1972 and was once asked by a Secret Service guy to run out and buy a bottle of Cutty Sark for him (even though I was underage at the time). Luckily, I had a very phonied-up New Mexico drivers license (NM was (is) backwards as hell – look at that jerk-off Governor they have now. They had a paper license without a photo!), and I got the bottle.
I remember – it was for Thanksgiving or something around that time.
LBJ was under strict orders not to drink with all his angina, but he still slipped in quite a lot. He liked Cutty Sark, and lots of it.
Sadly, about two months later, he died of a massive heart attack.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 5:18 PM
But can he convince Congress to drill?
becki51758 on June 21, 2008 at 5:18 PM
Guys — it was a humorous piece, not anything serious. Sort of like Rick Perry’s intro that did a take-off on the Brady bunch.
But then again, what do I know — I was only a delegate to the convention and actually saw the thing played live.
RhymesWithRight on June 21, 2008 at 5:20 PM
I own a fringe coat and I wear it. I own ostrich boots and I wear them. I live in Texas and love it and John Cornyn.
mimi1220 on June 21, 2008 at 5:24 PM
Vince. MO is forever tied to Texas!
Moses Austin was Stephen Austin’s daddy! That’s where we began!!!
Thank you very kindly!
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 5:24 PM
Everyone knows that the truly cheesy local ads are from Wisconsin and Minnesota.
AP sounds like a coast dweller pinky extended wine drinker commenting about we proud and patriotic rednecks living in flyover land … clinging to our guns and bibles.
LCL4 on June 21, 2008 at 5:25 PM
Good lord Allah, the entire ad is the punchline. I love it.
(I suspect Fred’s ads would have been funny in a different way. Less cheese, more cut-to-the-chase snark….)
Nevicata on June 21, 2008 at 5:27 PM
I dunno.
You don’t see fringe coats in the oilpatch. They’d get hooked on something, I guess. And pipe dope is not leather-friendly, as I have sadly found out.
Gimme hats peaked in the 1980’s but still are fairly common.
Why don’t we see commercials with gimme hats? Sort of like Larry the Cable Guy..
Ostrich boots remind me of the “Urban Cowboy” days, when we glued parts of endangered wildlife onto our Tony Lamas and watched pathetic John Travolta spastically try to two-step. Which is a good thing, if you can forgive Travolta for “Battlefield Earth”.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 5:42 PM
(I suspect Fred’s ads would have been funny in a different way. Less cheese, more cut-to-the-chase snark….)
Nevicata on June 21, 2008 at 5:27 PM
+1
These noted Senators gave America their best ideas and dedication pledging their honor, while the critic throws molotov cocktails at the conservative platform pledging only cynicism.
maverick muse on June 21, 2008 at 5:50 PM
TexasJew, Emu farms abound in Central TX. Emu boots?
I saw The Louisianna Story. No way would an oil man or any machinist for that matter wear fringe to work. But fringe looks great for show at rodeos or just out on the town in blustery winter weather.
maverick muse on June 21, 2008 at 5:58 PM
Of course not!
Good grief.
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 6:04 PM
I had one. Begged for it for my 17th birthday. I grew up in upstate NY in the good ol’ days when cowboys were everyone’s heroes.
Connie on June 21, 2008 at 6:05 PM
There might be one or two of those jackets on display on Wednesday, during the city’s annual rodeo parade, but then they’re going back in storage along with the antique cars and the pageant floats.
As for the election, Cornyn will no doubt lose Austin and the border areas of the state to Democrat Rick Noriega, along with the inner city precincts in places like Houston and Dallas. But turnout will have to be really dampened down in the Republican suburbs and in the mid-sized metro area for him not to win re-election at this time.
jon1979 on June 21, 2008 at 6:20 PM
John Cornyn voted for the farm bill, which I think we should use as a litmus test as to whether a Republican should be voted for again since no principled conservative or libertarian could vote for it, as I see it. This thing just confirms his jackassness.
Also, I’ve lived in Texas most of my life, and I’d bet I’ve seen horses less than 1% of all the days I’ve lived here, probably much less. Senator Cornyn was born in Houston and raised in San Antonio so I’m not sure his rate would be much higher, but I could be wrong. I’m also not sure riding in a convertible with a fringed leather jacket on really speaks to cowboy bona fides.
scotta on June 21, 2008 at 6:24 PM
I guess I’m not the first one to pick up on the fringe, but it does kind of disturb me to see people approving of it and him.
We bitch every time when Republicans keep increasing spending, particularly with the farm bill, which is so bad on so many levels, but then we keep voting for the douches that vote for that stuff. I realize every politician is a mixed bag, but again, the farm bill epitomizes, at least to me, all that’s wrong with the Republican party. The good ole boy mentality ain’t helping either.
scotta on June 21, 2008 at 6:34 PM
I’d agree with ya..
Texas Gal on June 21, 2008 at 6:42 PM
Okay AP, if THIS ad was SO bad, then let’s see your (or SNL’s) version of a “Big Bad Hillary” ad.
My collie says:
Well, in that case, we should make a “Big Bad John” ad for Massachusetts.
My collie says:
CyberCipher on June 21, 2008 at 7:12 PM
There might be one or two of those jackets on display on Wednesday, during the city’s annual rodeo parade, but then they’re going back in storage along with the antique cars and the pageant floats.
jon1979 on June 21, 2008 at 6:20 PM
Well there are a couple of scrawny ostriches in the city park zoo in Pecos, so maybe that’s where they got the ostrich boots.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 7:42 PM
1. Song….just cheesy enough
2. Jacket……HOOT!
3. Texas…….where the other 49 get their nukes.
Yeah, it was a bit over the top, but that’s Texas. We don’t mind laughing at ourselves. Neither do we mind what the hell the other 49 think about us.
Limerick on June 21, 2008 at 7:44 PM
Big Allah
Big Allah-ah
Big Bad Allah.
radjah shelduck on June 21, 2008 at 7:50 PM
Nancy-boys from Nancy-States probably don’t like this ad.
jaime on June 21, 2008 at 7:55 PM
One thing that other don’t get about Texas….patriotism. Not American patriotism, Texas patriotism. Ask a California boy if he is patriotic about his state, or a New Yorker.
Limerick on June 21, 2008 at 8:02 PM
It’s not cheesy. It’s the best election ad all year.
Don’t anger Big Bid John, Allah.
Don’t do it.
Skidd on June 21, 2008 at 8:11 PM
It’s not cheesy. It’s the best election ad all year.
Don’t anger Big
BidBad John, Allah.Don’t do it.
Skidd on June 21, 2008 at 8:13 PM
That’s a salsa commercial…but really Texas politics are quite different. As cheesy as that was, I still have a fondness for Cornyn as opposed to KBailey. She’s lost her way and I will never vote for her as governor. I would like to see Pete Sessions run in her place. I have been very happy with his stance as a representative.
Aggie85 on June 21, 2008 at 8:21 PM
I’m officially in love with this guy. Bromance, baby!
TheBlueSite on June 21, 2008 at 8:48 PM
Well I am a Texan, a real Texan from Midland/Odessa not a “Texan” from Houston, DFW, or zOMG Austin, and I loved the ad!
Ars Moriendi on June 21, 2008 at 9:28 PM
Me likey,Its got that kick !ss vieb to it!
canopfor on June 21, 2008 at 9:30 PM
I guess I’m just a “Texan” then, who also happens to not like crap. And I sort of expect Big Bad Republicans to display an ounce of balls and not vote for farm welfare bills. Or wear fringe.
scotta on June 21, 2008 at 9:46 PM
I just can’t wait until Texas becomes the Republic of Texas again.
BowHuntingTexas on June 21, 2008 at 9:50 PM
I feel the same way and when is he going to run for President. :-)
JeffinSac on June 21, 2008 at 10:19 PM
I guess I’m just a “Texan” then, who also happens to not like crap. And I sort of expect Big Bad Republicans to display an ounce of balls and not vote for farm welfare bills.
scotta on June 21, 2008 at 9:46 PM
Times are a-changin’ as they say. Remember, the Odessa people were going crazy bout getting that scam billion-dollar NuGen CO2 sequestration project that went away.
Texas is definitely changing into a bit more of a Federal handout-loving kind of place.
The folks around Abilene and Sweetwater (and even McCamey! – just south of the “real Texans” of Midland/Odessa) are jumping onto the wind turbine Federal gravy train these days. Billions are flowing into those huge wind farms and all that subsidized overpriced electricity. Yet Texas has huge reserves of lignite and lignite-fired power plants and inexpensive energy.
You get on some of the highways around Abilene or Ballinger and it’s just one giant truckload with turbine bases, one after another.
TexasJew on June 21, 2008 at 10:45 PM
OMG im so glad Im from Texas. I agree with an earlier post…Nancy boys from Nancy states prolly don’t like this ad…God bless the Republic of Texas!
CapitalistPig on June 21, 2008 at 10:56 PM
I think the vid is funny. That was my favorite song when I was a kid.
I thank God about once a week that I live in a state where we elect people like Senators Cornyn and Hutchison, especially whenever I see the likes of Senators Boxer, Schumer, Obama, Clinton, etc in hearings on tv.
juliesa on June 21, 2008 at 11:37 PM
The headline is misleading, although the article is correct–it’s not an ad. It was for the convention.
juliesa on June 21, 2008 at 11:40 PM
I love chedder, but that could have used a little less cheese. That said, I like John Cornyn a lot. I didn’t hear about Juan McAmnesty screaming at JC–just one more reason to hate that ***************.
urbancenturion on June 22, 2008 at 12:12 AM
Actually, lat I haerd, Texas got the lowest per capita fed handouts of any state.
Full disclosure: I’m Texan.
urbancenturion on June 22, 2008 at 12:14 AM
Explain to me why Conservatives insist on eating their own?
hunter on June 22, 2008 at 12:33 AM
I thought it was real, until the line about the “brew”
Ludwig on June 22, 2008 at 12:39 AM
This was awesome and as an Idahoan, I’m awed by Texas’ awesomeness and if we had 99 More Senators like John Cornyn, our country wouldn’t have near as many problems.
adamsweb on June 22, 2008 at 1:20 AM
Six Mo’ for Big John. He really is a terrific Senator.
RushBaby on June 22, 2008 at 1:22 AM
BTW, I’m a Texan and I’ve never heard him referred to as “Big John”. ‘Round these parts, we call him Senator Cornyn.
RushBaby on June 22, 2008 at 1:24 AM
I love it.
apoole on June 22, 2008 at 7:53 AM
Me too! Enjoyed the ad and its touch of self-parody, Texas-style.
Then, I do a country radio show (Hillbilly at Harvard).
MrLynn on June 22, 2008 at 8:14 AM
AP is still sore about not getting that Iphone from the boss! Lighten up!
wepeople on June 22, 2008 at 8:50 AM
It’s a good un. In fact, I think that it would play well outside the Lone Star State.
Americans love manly men, not manly women nor “messiahs” for their political leaders.
onlineanalyst on June 22, 2008 at 10:11 AM
“You must get six mo?” I don’t think it’s a joke, exactly, but tongue-in-cheek humor works. That is some jacket, tho.
Tanya on June 22, 2008 at 10:12 AM
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