School superintendent: The pregnancy-pact girls did it for “status”
posted at 11:25 am on June 20, 2008 by Allahpundit
Out: Cheerleading team. In: Stroller-pushing! I can’t tell if he’s basing this on information he got from interviewing them or if it’s just his own pet half-assed psychological read on the situation. I’m guessing it’s the latter. A friend and I were kicking around theories yesterday and she suggested they were trying to create a quasi-family situation in which they’d all raise their kids together. Intriguing, but that would seem more plausible to me with a small, intimate group of friends. According to Time, “nearly half” of the 17 pregnant girls — actually 18 now, per the Gloucester Daily Times — were in on it. Almost as strange, if you exclude the girls who made the pact you’re still left with nine or 10 pregnancies this year, compared to three or four in the average year. Might the fact that Gloucester High offers a full-time day-care center have something to do with it? Hard to say, but: “Principal Sullivan suggested that some guidance counselors from other school districts in the region had recommended to students who are or want to become pregnant, to transfer to Gloucester through the state’s School Choice program so they could take advantage of the day-care facilities.”
The next chapter in this journey into freaky-deakiness? Statutory rape charges, let’s hope. Click the image to watch.
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Whatever you subsidize, you get more of.
RBMN on June 20, 2008 at 11:30 AM
When I was in high school, any girl who got pregnant was expelled. One girl I knew who was 18, married, and not pregnant, hid the fact because she thought she would be expelled. It was considered shameful. Whose to blame? The media, parents, and the girls themselves. Also, enough with the welfare support. Nutrition for the infants only. They can live with their parents who can support them or get a job.
Blake on June 20, 2008 at 11:31 AM
If I were the principal of that school, I’m not sure I’d show my face on TV. But that’s me.
lorien1973 on June 20, 2008 at 11:34 AM
These girls need to be allowed to experience the fullest consequences of their stupidity. The parents need to be allowed to witness their failures. A documentary should be made that covers the ensuing misery, and shown to future generations as an object lesson in the serious nature of parenthood.
LimeyGeek on June 20, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Attention deficit disorder.
Want to be noticed? Want some attention? Want free stuff?
Have a baby in high school! You’ll be on all the kool TV shows, might even get on Oprah.
rockhauler on June 20, 2008 at 11:35 AM
Good Lord. I say some of this on Fax and Friends (I think) this morning. Being pregnant in School was freaking tough and I never intended too. But are these girls mental?
Well I guess they will grow up soon enough, I wonder how their parents are handling this.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 11:39 AM
Expelled huh? How long ago was that?
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 11:40 AM
My first thought was that the school couldn’t be responsible. It must be a combination of the media, parents, the girls and the fathers. Then when reading about the full-time day-care center it became obvious that yes it is part of the schools fault. The corruption of society.
Parents, shielding your children from temptation is the best solution.
Pray for the babies.
shick on June 20, 2008 at 11:41 AM
What’s the problem? There’s no God, there are no transcendent standards to consult or obey, these girls are just refined monkeys like the rest of us. “Go on little monkeys, screw all the other little soulless monkeys you can find. The strong will survive.”
Akzed on June 20, 2008 at 11:42 AM
Home/Private schooling is the key. Get the children away from these ignorant sociopaths.
LimeyGeek on June 20, 2008 at 11:43 AM
We ran a maternity home (in our home) a few years ago. It s surprising how clueless these girls are. They have no concept of what it’s like to actually raise a baby. They seem to think of babies as something between pets and dolls.
Buford Gooch on June 20, 2008 at 11:44 AM
Boy are they going to be shocked when the “little bundles of joy” arrive in all their colicy glory and strange things spewing from both ends nonstop. Ahh the joys of motherhood.
ronsfi on June 20, 2008 at 11:46 AM
I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if the same male or small group of males is the father of more than one of these babies. Kinda like primates in the wild.
forest on June 20, 2008 at 11:47 AM
If you read the media reports, they blame the lack of condoms in school due to abstinence education.
Um…what?
Darin on June 20, 2008 at 11:47 AM
It takes a village????
hillbillyjim on June 20, 2008 at 11:48 AM
A village of idiots, it seems ;)
LimeyGeek on June 20, 2008 at 11:49 AM
That is the only reaction my overloaded, utterly dumbfounded, completely disturbed mind can have right now. This is so wrong.
Spectreman on June 20, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Gub’mint subsidized selfishness & stupidity.
God save the Republic.
locomotivebreath1901 on June 20, 2008 at 11:56 AM
Any school counselor who recommend that a girl who wanted to become pregnant transfer to this school should be disciplined.
Anyone who saw the girls high fiving each other when they got a positive pregnancy test and didn’t alert the principal/parents etc, and find out what the hell was going on before more got pregnant, should be disciplined.
Unfortunately, I bet most of these girls come from single mother homes and the moms really don’t care.
Blake on June 20, 2008 at 11:57 AM
That’s what happens when children were taught they are not responsible (for their actions).
It is always ‘somebody else failed you’. And ‘government should step in’ to solve their problems.
Sir Napsalot on June 20, 2008 at 11:57 AM
Um, how old are you and did you go to a Catholic high school? My mom got pregnant when she was 17, got married(1977), and they’ve been together for ~30 years now.
ninjapirate on June 20, 2008 at 11:58 AM
The town had lost jobs and is mainly white/blue color.
I’m shocked that some politician didn’t blame it on Bush 43 yet. There’s still hope, and change we can believe in.
Entelechy on June 20, 2008 at 11:59 AM
Ever heard of common sense and decency?
OldEnglish on June 20, 2008 at 12:00 PM
I asked that question.. he still hasn’t answered me either.
I was someone who had a “surprize” in my last year of highschool and decided to have the child and give him up to a loving family who couldn’t have one. But I was allowed to stay in and graduated with all of my friends.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 12:02 PM
I know. They did something similar in the video, talking about giving kids access to birth control as though that will stop the problem of girls who want to get pregnant.
Esthier on June 20, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Coastal New England Fishing Villages are America’s second Appalachia. I grew up in coastal RI. I was in highschool in the early to mid 70′s. At least 20% of my highschool class of 200 dropped out to get married have kids, work on a fishing boat, work in the local shellfish canning factory, go to alaska to work on the pipeline, etc… These kids are simply following mommy and daddy’s example…as they have done for centuries…
oldvannes on June 20, 2008 at 12:06 PM
I’m guessing you have been burdened with kids? As opposed to blessed?
Sheesh, I suppose you didn’t spew forth when you were a baby.
kirkill on June 20, 2008 at 12:07 PM
I wonder if they’ve all seen “Juno”. It seems to have been very popular amoung that age group.
Over30 on June 20, 2008 at 12:08 PM
I’m not old……really…..girls in my HS(1960s) were forbidden to wear bluejeans or have their skirts higher then the middle of the knee. Boys had to wear a belt and have their shirt tucked in. No hand holding. In my class NONE of the girls ‘disappeared’ from the student body. A couple of them didn’t finish HS but that had to do with their grades and not the status of their plumbing. This was PUBLIC school. I’m not saying everyone was vestal virgin, but the ones who weren’t were the exceptions and not the norm.
Limerick on June 20, 2008 at 12:08 PM
The DJs were ranting on the radio this morning about how the school didn’t give them condoms (but gave them pregnancy tests). I don’t get how condoms would work for someone who’s trying to get pregnant.
I think these girls are nuts. On the other hand, there should be some perfectly good babies available on Craig’s List soon.
Tanya on June 20, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Just before reading this thread, I surfed past a cable program that follows mothers having babies. The parents were a non-traditional lesbian couple. Changing channels later I hit another episode. The father introduced his kids by his ex-wife, and his kids by two other relationships. The expectant mother said they had discussed marriage but currently the relationship stood at having a baby with a good friend.
This warm and cuddly program was on the learning channel
The high school girls have grown up on this mind twisting. They are likely getting the same information from some teachers too if it is public school.
At the point where all relationships are equal, and no relationship is better than any other relationship, the need for any relationship disappears, especially when the public is going to pay for the raising of the babies anyway
These girls are fitting into the norm presented to them by their mentors.
Years ago Dan Quayle took a hit for criticizing the Murphy Brown series which presented a career woman chosing to make a baby without the baggage of marriage. Quayle was right about the negative influence.
The lies came from the other side who understood they were breaking down family structure, and wanted that result
entagor on June 20, 2008 at 12:09 PM
Where does that come from? The parents and schools won’t teach it. I guess the liberals are right. In order to achieve the secular humanist utopia (Marxism), the state has to provide all the answers.
kirkill on June 20, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Are you saying that there would be a connection? Have you seen Juno? I think it should be required viewing in every Middle and High school in America. That movie was hell to watch. Nobody who sees that would think having a baby was a good plan.
melda on June 20, 2008 at 12:20 PM
Having a baby as a teenager, I mean.
melda on June 20, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Tanya on June 20, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Indeed. Not only were they given repeated pregnancy tests, but the case was put together primarily by their sad and regretful reaction to not being pregnant. This raised flags and led to looking into it.
Entelechy on June 20, 2008 at 12:21 PM
We have a society that doesn’t want sixteen-year-old mothers, but being a successful part of that society means you have to be able to plan ahead (for years, for your entire life up to that point), building up certain kinds of skills and knowledge and making plans that you might use someday, without ever getting any feedback from actually using those skills.
These girls are biologically adults, or close to it. Culturally, they’re still useless and dependent, and given that they’ve done this, maybe don’t have much by way of future plans. Mothers and babies get positive attention and financial goodies, the girls get at least a little adult status, and then there’s the maternal instinct, and the ‘family’ atmosphere they’re apparently trying to create.
They’re wrong about what the babies will be like. But I can see why they might think this was a good idea.
Nevicata on June 20, 2008 at 12:22 PM
Yet another reason why I don’t live in Mass anymore. It’s the lunatics running the asylum.
Geronimo on June 20, 2008 at 12:25 PM
I can echo your post, to the letter.
OldEnglish on June 20, 2008 at 12:26 PM
You’re being overly sensitive. I’m sure the post was sarcastic, though it is also true. These girls are in for a rude awakening.
Though children are a “blessing”, they aren’t necessarily pleasant.
Esthier on June 20, 2008 at 12:31 PM
One show this morning tried to point the finger of blame at the school district having sex education end in 9th grade!
Huh??
I am pretty sure these girls didn’t get pregnant by accident, or because they didn’t understand “how” someone becomes pregnant, or because there weren’t condoms available.
If they made a pact to purposely become pregnant, they had plenty of education on how to accomplish that, would have spurned condoms and certainly would not have been swayed by a few more hours of learning how to put condoms on bananas.
The stupidity of the press is absolutely mind-boggling!
They knew perfectly well that there was no longer any social stigma associated with getting pregnant in high school, in fact the opposite situation exists where they would receive extra attention, be provided with everything possible to make their lives easier, including full-time day care, diapers, baby supplies, strollers, government welfare payments, “donations” of every sort and become “stars” of the media, the internet, facebook, etc, etc, etc.
What more could a high-school girl want? Heck, now they are “FAMOUS”!!!
Fatal on June 20, 2008 at 12:32 PM
My objection lay in the assertion that a belief system is necessary for a decent life. Common sense and decency cannot be taught, only learned. Those girls were old enough to know better.
OldEnglish on June 20, 2008 at 12:32 PM
I saw Juno. I thought it was a good movie and went in the right direction. But then I am one who gave a child up. He is a great kid and extremely smart. He, I and his Mom went to the movies to see it together. When we left, he came up and gave me a hug hug and said thank you as his Mom was crying. His Mom and I remember what I had to go through for him… and that movie hit home more then our little guy will ever know.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 12:34 PM
a bit harsh maybe, maybe not. but i chuckled out loud anyway. shame on me.
It looks like these girls all want to end up like the character Irene in “Perfect Storm.” Those who have seen this movie will know whatimtalkinbout. For those who havent seen it, remember “Something About Mary”: “4 kids, three different fathers, but no rock, pushin a duece, duece and a half.”
Mike D. on June 20, 2008 at 12:35 PM
Limerick on June 20, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Baccalauréat in Eastern Europe, on own skin – up to the age of 19, uniform consisted of dark blue dress and light blue cotton blouses, crease-ironed by ourselves; hair, if long had to be braided, all girls had to wear white hairbands. What irritated us girls the most was that no nylon pantyhoses were allowed, only the cotton ones, either beige or grey. They are not very flattering. No high heels.
Were there teens in love? Sure. Of thousands there was one case of pregnancy out of marriage and the girl’s mother claimed that it happened in her dream. Our director, who also happened to be the professor of biology, got the entire school formed in a U-shape in the big schoolyard, brought the pregnant girl up front and told us all that these things don’t happen in dreams, and that she’s dismissed from school. It was a scare we never forgot.
Btw., our one and only sex-education, right after this formation, was that the girls were called together and told by a female professor to kick the boys in the crotch, if attacked. That’s it, aside from the explanation of the reproductive system in Zoology and Anatomy classes. Of course we snickered.
Guess what? We lived, and turned out pretty ok.
Entelechy on June 20, 2008 at 12:37 PM
These girls won’t carry their babies to term. Once they begin to feel the effects of pregnancy see the impact that it has on their bodies, I suspect they’ll opt for a smishmortion.
Mike Honcho on June 20, 2008 at 12:39 PM
Love it! Where was this at?
newton on June 20, 2008 at 12:40 PM
newton, Romania.
The girls on topic said that they did this “to be loved”. Well, babies are loved, but they don’t offer love, unconditionally at that early stage. They demand, need to be taken care of, fed, provided for, etc. It seems that the parents of these (pregnant) girls failed them.
Entelechy on June 20, 2008 at 12:42 PM
Follow-up. When I went back for a reunion, the girl who’d become pregnant, as we all did get up to tell our life stories, told us how hard she’d had it, how she struggled to cope. She did, however, with the help of her parents, go back to evening school, finished her studies, and became responsible.
Entelechy on June 20, 2008 at 12:44 PM
I have 36 year old daughter that went away to college at 17. I was completely against it and her mother was adamant about sending her to a nationally recognized university. I lost the argument and she went away for 2 semesters and came home pregnant. My wife cried for years over the lost opportunities and how our daughter “threw away her life” for a little pleasure, and it wasn’t that she didn’t know what would happen. Our daughter told us it was her life and she would deal with it. The problem is, she couldn’t deal with it all the time and we had to intervene for the sake of grandchildren several times. My wife was somewhat correct in her assessment of the situation. Our daughter is 36, has 3 children and has a husband that is mostly lazy. He was 1 semester away from a BA degree and it took him nearly 10 years to finish. He now has a job of assistant chef at a country club making $22,000 a year.
She is just now going back to school to get a nursing degree and laments the fact that it will take 3 years to finish. By then her two oldest will be in college and the third in high school. She finishes just in time to help pay for her children’s college education.
There are consequences that are life changing and lifelong, making a poor decision about a little thing that was her right to make.
I say that its about time we wake up and get control of the public
indoctrinationeducation system and make it less acceptable for teens to be pregnant.belad on June 20, 2008 at 12:49 PM
That is usually how it works out though. They realize that it isn’t as easy as they thought it was going to be, pick themselves up and start working for goals. The ones that smarten up i mean… I have met some that I think were brain damaged somewhere along the way.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 12:49 PM
God bless you.
hillbillyjim on June 20, 2008 at 12:50 PM
So, the girls did it for “status”…
What do they think babies are? A purse, a pair of shoes… a fashion accessory?!? They’d been reading too many celebrity magazines!
I have an eighteen-month-old, plus one coming around February. If I could carry my daughter around like a purse, or better yet, like a chihuahua on one of those bags, do you think I’d be doing it anyway? Heck no!
Babies are not Paris Hilton territory. They will cry, spit, vomit, pee, etc. on you, and all you can do is to clean up after him/her. You might want a break, but baby will not allow it. As one sleep shirt my daughter has says, “It’s all about Me! I’m shellfish!”
This is why we were told for years before we had her that you give your very life for your own child, that any interests you have fall by the wayside for the child’s sake. (We waited 11 years before the test came positive.) When baby comes, life is no longer about You.
So, “status”, my foot. I gained no “status” by being a mother. I just gained a child, and a huge responsibility for her and her future. In return, I’m called “Mama”, and get the best hugs and kisses in the world. There’s no reward for it, except on the child herself. And if you can’t provide for her, it gets four times more complicated.
Those girls will see it. I will bet you all that some of them will see what’s coming and give their little ones up for adoption.
newton on June 20, 2008 at 12:54 PM
I alway grit my teeth about this sex-education and giving the girls the pill “because they will do it anyway”.
I always like the argument that a pro-lifer had to a pro-choice. She (pro-lifer) asked the other that when her husband went on a business trip did she pack condomes or make sure that he took plenty of condoms with him? After all, so many businessmen are unfaithful and they may do it anyway. The pro-choicer was just stunned by the insinuation that her husband would be unfaithful.
So I ask this principal, if you are a man does your wife make sure you have condoms, and if you are a woman do you make sure your man carries condoms with him?
right2bright on June 20, 2008 at 12:58 PM
Vampires can get pregnant? : )
Rick on June 20, 2008 at 1:02 PM
I saw this twit being interviewed on Fox. When asked about the horrific possibility that a 23 (?) year old homeless man had fathered some of these babies he responded (I paraphrase):
‘Because of the mortgage crisis there are a lot of homeless people right now, so the fact that he’s homeless is unimportant”
As for why the girls do it – they get attention. Period.
Buy Danish on June 20, 2008 at 1:03 PM
If I told a teen parent-to-be what I really feel about it I’d be reprimanded by my boss. I’d get in a lot of trouble, so I have to be very careful what I say to pregnant students. I know I am not alone.
Bob's Kid on June 20, 2008 at 1:04 PM
Nice angle. Thanks for sharing :)
LimeyGeek on June 20, 2008 at 1:08 PM
I wouldn’t let my kids (if I had any) GO to a high school that had on-site day care. What kind of message is that to send to teenage girls? That superintendent (or whoever is responsible) for that should be sent packing.
And this business about Gloucester girls having to go 20 miles for birth control is nonsense. I’m not 100% postitive, but I THINK there’s a clinic in Beverly, a city only about ten miles (and two or three T stops) away from Gloucester.
Infidoll on June 20, 2008 at 1:11 PM
Since it worked out for you mom, I guess every kid in high school should get knocked up. [/eyeroll]
Blake on June 20, 2008 at 1:16 PM
Yup. I saw it w/ my teenager. She asked me to rent the DVD – she’d already seen it at the cinema w/ her friends, twice. Certainly I saw the ‘cautionary whale’ tale, but teenagers and good decision-making are lengendarily at odds.
Over30 on June 20, 2008 at 1:18 PM
Apparently so – watch out :)
Entelechy on June 20, 2008 at 1:20 PM
My friends saw that a few Corpus Christi public high schools have on-site day care. (Nueces County has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in the State of TX)
They quickly enrolled their daughters (15 and 14)… at the most expensive Catholic school in the area. Oh yes, they have to make-do, big time.
newton on June 20, 2008 at 1:31 PM
Still cheaper than supporting children and grandchildren.
Blake on June 20, 2008 at 1:47 PM
Nope no kids but lots and lots of Nieces and Nephews. I don’t understand the snottiness in your tone though. Newborns are tough and they do spew as did I. Grow a sense of humor or die of a tumor.
ronsfi on June 20, 2008 at 1:56 PM
I love how everyone assumes if you were pregnant as a teenager, it was done on purpose.
These teens have some serious mental and emotional issues if they did this. And it is going to effect that whole town. I feel for their Parents, but hey thank the Government for not allowing to disipline either.
But don’t speculate that all people who are younger do it on purpose. It just shows how some of you truely think and feel about the younger generation.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 1:58 PM
I was just talking to a nurse and she said this is nothing new. She had to work at a public high school in Baton Rouge and it happened. The girls would be happy that they were going to have babies at the same time.
roux on June 20, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Oh and I forgot to include that the school had a day care center as well.
roux on June 20, 2008 at 2:12 PM
No one is assuming that. It happens to be true for this specific case, but that’s it. No one has said that all pregnant teens got pregnant on purpose.
Esthier on June 20, 2008 at 2:34 PM
Well, unless its the result of rape, its pretty hard to get pregnant unless you are purposely engaging in intercourse.
A claim that “we forgot to use birth control”, or “the condom broke”, or “the birth control didn’t work”, or “we didn’t mean to go all the way”, etc doesn’t make the pregnancy an “accident”. It just means that you purposely engaged in an act designed to result in pregnancy and you didn’t manage to thwart it.
Fatal on June 20, 2008 at 2:38 PM
I have a idea on how this started. One of the popular girls got pregnant, and that is where the rest came into it.
I have seen it before, but at most maybe 3 girls.
I actually stopped other girls from getting pregnant when I was in school and gave them a run of how uncomfortable it was, telling them about morning sickness and so on. And if they still didn’t get it, I whipped out my belly and showed them my stretch marks in the middle of School, which I know worked as you saw their faces go white. I had teachers say it was inappropriate to do what I did, until I told them what they were thinking, in which they changed their tune.
But some of the people on this thread assume. You can tell via their text and how they speak to others.
This case is special.. but I am sure when you find out who started the pact, it was the teens that followed the one who was popular in their group and they wanted to be just like who ever it is and are convincing themselves that it is because they want to be loved.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 2:43 PM
I think one of the previous comments hit the nail right on the head about this one.
Babies are now STATUS SYMBOLS amongst young Hollywierd female role models. Just look at Christina, Nicole, Angelina, Alba, Presley, I could go on and on!
It’s IN to be pregnant and having a baby is the latest fashion accessory. These impressionable, empty headed, young girls are emulating that.
Conservaboomer on June 20, 2008 at 2:44 PM
Yeah right, **rolls eyes**. I was 18 and I was with the same guy for 2 years. The BC didn’t work and I was obsessed with taking it. The only thing I can think of is I was given a different type and it screwed up my horomones. But hey, you can assume whatever you want!
Don’t judge, you sure as hell aren’t God! At least I did the right thing in the end… and he is a Beautiful boy!
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 2:46 PM
Gete off your high-horse upinak.
Just because you happened to get pregnant as a teen and have a beautiful baby boy doesn’t mean everything said on this thread is about YOU. You’ve already been praised for not killing your child (which, by the way, I congratulate you for as well).
On the other hand, you didn’t get pregnant by “Accident”, you had intercourse ON PURPOSE as a teenager and your birth control failed. Whether it was with a long-time boyfriend or on a one-night fling, the bottom line is you voluntarily had intercourse, knowing full well that its natural consequence was pregnancy, and although you tried to prevent the pregnancy, you rolled the dice and lost – that isn’t an “Accident” anymore than the gambler losing his roll of the dice is an “accident” – its just a failure to thwart the natural consequences of your chosen act.
Fatal on June 20, 2008 at 2:53 PM
Oh, and by the way, nothing I posted was a “judgment”, let alone a judgment of you. They were merely statements of fact.
Fatal on June 20, 2008 at 2:56 PM
That’s what general happens. If you’re on one kind of birth control, and you’re given another, you have to wait a week before having sex without an additional form of contraceptive.
I’m sorry you didn’t know that when you were a teen, but the information (at least these days) is printed on a package that comes with the pills. It takes a little research that most kids aren’t willing to do, but that’s true with many things related to kids and sex.
Esthier on June 20, 2008 at 2:59 PM
How the hell can they push statutory rape charges? These girls, consented, seduced and fully intended their choice.
I am soooooo against Age of Consent laws. There is a huge difference between molesting a child and a teenage girl looking for it.
Look at this horrible perversion of justice. All based on “Age of Consent”
Tim Burton on June 20, 2008 at 3:05 PM
So true about the stomach. One lady at the gym has that problem. She is getting back in shape, but is fully intending to have 2 more kids soon. She said, then she’ll get back in shape and possibly a tummy tuck to get it tight again. I hope my wife (when I get married) will be that willing to work out to get back in shape.
Tim Burton on June 20, 2008 at 3:08 PM
Kiss my day glow white butt and get off you freaking high horse you judgemental jerk. Birthcontrol isn’t perfect! God help you if you ever have children.
And my “Accident” is with another Family as I hope these girls Parents convince them to give the child to a good Family. I admit I may have “screwed up” no pun intended. But at least you can’t give me shit for at least trying.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 3:17 PM
Actually I think I asked how much different each was and so on, yet I don’t remember the doctor saying anything about being careful a week or so afterwards.
Either way, it doesn’t matter.
Well I don’t know about your friend, but exercizing helps. I still have bad stretch marks.. but I wouldn’t get a tummy tuck because of them. They can be deadly and at times done wrong. Please don’t be judgemental if you wife has problems.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Ah, well I guess you could sue the doctor for wrongful birth then.
I’m mostly joking.
For anyone who doesn’t know though, it is true that when you switch to a different birth control it’s like using it for the first time. At both times, you need to act as though you’re not on anything.
The same is true when you miss even one pill, depending on when you miss the pill (meaning how early in your cycle).
I’m sorry. I know it’s been abused, but I have no sympathy for adults who get caught having sex with kids. I don’t care if they didn’t seek out the sex. Unless they were forced, it really doesn’t matter. They’re still adults and still (in most cases) know more than the kids they sleep with.
I’m completely fine with a law that scares adults into checking an ID before getting into bed.
Esthier on June 20, 2008 at 3:30 PM
I’d hate to find out what would happen if she isn’t willing (or isn’t able)! My twins so completely changed my body and metabolism I feel like I’m in a different body. I won’t even go into detail about how elaborate and encompassing my stretchmarks are after two pregnancies/three kids. Thank goodness my husband still loves me, big belly and all.
Anna on June 20, 2008 at 3:36 PM
By then hopefully you will have moved on and matured in your thinking, and only be concerned that she and the kids stay healthy.
Trust me, being in “shape” is a minor part of being in love. And after over 40 years of being married and raising a couple of kids, being in shape and being healthy are not the same.
right2bright on June 20, 2008 at 3:39 PM
Bob: “It must be something in the air.”
Willy: “Yeah. Their legs.”
mojo on June 20, 2008 at 3:52 PM
Get off your high horse. Notice I said, “hope”. I didn’t say, “She better damn well.”
You act sooooo morally superior, when it isn’t a case of morality. It is something I hope for. I lost 25 pounds, and for reasons outside of this thread, I did it to save my life. That being said, I fully intend to not let myself go.
Seeing how I found it is great to date someone who enjoys going to the gym and working out together I fully believe she most likely will workout regularly.
If she can’t, then I fully understand. After all, contrary to what your smug arse thinks, I will take my vow serious.
Tim Burton on June 20, 2008 at 4:04 PM
Yeah, but these little tarts haven’t, if that needs saying -unless what they really need is more values-free education, heavy on the evolution, leave out the Creator.
Akzed on June 20, 2008 at 4:19 PM
At 16 they definitely aren’t kids. Heck, when I was a teacher, I had 17 girls pregnant in my class. Virtually everyone who got pregnant was pregnant by a guy who was under 18. I’m not looking at dating a teenage, God knows I actually like being able to take a date to a night club, but I have known guys who were in trouble for having sex with a 17 year old. One was 23 years old, and I have dated larger age gaps than that. Luckily, he kept his record clean in working it out. He also just got engaged to her.
But it is unjust for the following reasons:
1. It is selectively enforced, no it isn’t just enforced like a speeding ticket where you get caught, you get a ticket. It really is selectively enforced.*
2. If you are dating a girl who is 17 and things happen, why should you be treated like a molester and unable to visit parks, schools (even if your kid is enrolled there) and be harrassed as deviant?
3. It is a crime that is more-likely to result in being prosecuted for marrying a person than it is for someone to kill a sick patient in some states.
4. Driving a car can have just as much consequences as sex, so why do we accept one at 16 and another at 18? If you can consent to being mature enough to drive a car (which can kill people), then you can consent to being mature enough to choose if you want to have sex with someone.
*It is selectively enforced, because women often sleep with boys under 18 and rarely get charged (unless they are teachers). One of the families in my church had an issue with their teenage son going over to an older (late 20s) lady’s house to have sex. When they called the police about it, they told them, “Just ground him, we really can’t do anything about an under-age guy having sex.” When the supervisor was called, he ignored the issue too stating it was virtually impossible to get a non-authorative female convicted of statutory rape.
Also, it is selectively enforced, because in some states boys who are under 18 having sex with a girl under 18 end up in jail, but nothing happens to the girl.
Also, my district had a female teacher having sex with a female and not only would the cops not touch it, but the district wouldn’t fire her over the fact that she threatened a sexual orientation discrimination suit. I think she should have got fired, but charges? I don’t agree, the girl was 17 and known for being militant lesbian. She was old enough to know what she wanted and old enough to consent.
Tim Burton on June 20, 2008 at 4:38 PM
upniak, do you even read what people post before you fly off the handle?
I never judged you.
I never called your child an “accident” (but you have).
I never claimed birth control was perfect.
I merely pointed out that pregnancy is not an “accident”. It was not an accident for these girls and it was not an accident for you. It seems as though the red haze of your anger has made it impossible for you to understand what was posted.
For some reason, you’ve tried to make everything on this thread be about “you” when its not. You’ve projected onto me your own fears of being “judged” when I’ve done no such thing.
Let me offer a simple illustration to try to get my point across.
The natural purpose of a revolver is to fire bullets, just like the natural purpose of intercourse is to create progeny.
If I unload all of the chambers of a revolver except one, I am taking steps to make sure the revolver is unable to fire a bullet, just like using birth control is taking steps to make sure that intercourse does not lead to pregnancy.
Now, after I have attempted to thwart the natural purpose of the revolver, albiet imperfectly, by removing most of the bullets, if I then spin the chamber, place the barrel against my temple, pull the trigger and blow my brains out, have I had an “accident”?
No, I have merely failed to successfully prevent the revolve from firing.
If people attempt to thwart the natural purpose of sex by utilizing birth control, which is NOT perfect, then go ahead and engage in voluntary intercourse but end up getting pregnant, just like with the revolver, they have NOT had an “accident”, they’ve merely failed to successfully prevent themselves from getting pregnant.
Now, if you check back, you will see that my post was in response to your rather condescending assertion that:
I merely pointed out that, regardless of how you want to view it, any teenager who gets pregnant by voluntarily engaging in intercourse did not get pregnant by “accident”. I am sorry if you find that somehow judgmental or offensive, but it was not intended to be so. However, making it judgmental or offensive isn’t my fault, its all in the way you’ve chosen to take it.
Oh, and as far as this goes:
Thank you! He did help me and my wife, as we’ve raised two very fine children, including a 19 yr-old daughter. She, by the way, fully understands that if she engages in intercourse, no matter how many precautions she may take, she may end up pregnant. She also knows that any such pregnancy will be the direct result of her own voluntary choice and will not be an “accident”.
Fatal on June 20, 2008 at 4:47 PM
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Well, I’m not the poster that you asked, but, I graduated from an urban public high school just outside of San Francisco in 1978.
In our sophomore year (75-76), a friend became pregnant and married the father. She was not expelled, but the school district did move her to a continuation school as soon as her pregnancy became obvious.
(Continuation School = school for kids with discipline or truancy problems)
As another poster mentioned above, in the same district, we girls weren’t able to wear pants to school until I was in 5th or 6th grade, boys hair had to be cut above their collar – no t-shirts or jeans allowed – that changed in 70? 71? something like that.
Things that still make me go hmmmmmmmmm – we had a “smoking lot” on campus. Go figure.
Tink on June 20, 2008 at 4:48 PM
I wasn’t being smug, you just came off sounding like a jerk (even if it was unintentional). I didn’t ‘let myself go, either.’ My husband and I take our vows seriously, but we didn’t include anything about weight (pre- or post-baby). And my husband does love me, and I’m sure he’d be happy if I lost weight too. Chort.
Anna on June 20, 2008 at 4:55 PM
if you would look in an earlier post.. I said my Son was a surprize. I never said I didn’t take full responsibility for my actions. Don’t look down on me as I couldn’t give two craps less, lets just hope if your child ever has a child you don’t do the same to her.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 5:03 PM
I’m a few cities over from Gloucester. Typical Massachusetts really. The sad part though is that Gloucester is actually one of the more conservative towns around. That shows you how bad things are up here.
eski502 on June 20, 2008 at 5:07 PM
Tink I appreciate the honesty! Thank you.
upinak on June 20, 2008 at 5:07 PM
I am unable to understand why you cannot comprehend my posts?
As I’ve said over and over and over again, I AM NOT JUDGING YOU nor am I LOOKING DOWN ON YOU. I never said a single word about you “taking responsibility” for your child.
Furthermore, I don’t care if you want to call your child a surprise, a blessing, or a beautiful boy, because I was NEVER TALKING ABOUT YOUR CHILD!!
Sheesh!!
For the last time, I merely challenged your GENERAL assertion:
by saying that pregnancy is NOT AN ACCIDENT, its the result of a voluntary act designed to lead to that very thing. Something I would have done in response to ANYONE who posted a statement like you did, regardless of whether they were a teen mom, a russian tight-rope walker or the freaking man in the moon.
And for not giving “two craps”, you sure have responded with an awful lot of anger (and a whole lot of misunderstanding) along with a basic presumption that whatever anyone says on this thread MUST be about you because you were a teen mother.
P.S. Its not.
Fatal on June 20, 2008 at 5:32 PM
I completely disagree. They may think they’re not kids, but that’s just because they ARE kids.
You’re not going to get sympathy from me on that. Those guys need to stay away from 17-year-olds, especially if they are in their 20s.
OK, that’s a problem, but that’s not a problem with the law itself.
If you have a kid, and you’re sleeping with a 17-year-old, then you still don’t have my sympathy.
However, I agree that sleeping with a teenager is different than being a pedophile, and it should be treated differently. But that too is a separate issue.
Again, while that’s wrong, that’s not the fault of the law itself.
1. That’s very much not true.
2. In many states the driving age is 18.
3. You’re only making an argument for raising the driving age, not doing away with the age of consent, and you’d actually have a good case for raising the driving age seeing as 16-year-olds are 5 times more likely to get into an accident than a normal driver (which is really bad considering senior citizens are only twice as likely despite having a much worse reputation).
In many states 16 is the age of consent. We don’t have a national age for that.
Yeah, that’s a problem, one that should be addressed. Women should be held just as response as men are.
I’m not sure I believe you here, but even if you’re correct, that’s still not a problem with the law itself, just in how the law is enforced.
Your big complaint here is that women finally have a double standard work in their favor. It’s disgusting I agree but hardly the fault of the law.
And the fact that you have friends in their 20s who are (or were) having sex with 17-year-olds really doesn’t help your case.
Esthier on June 20, 2008 at 5:53 PM
Agreed. However, if there is even a chance of a silver lining in all of this it’s that the reality of motherhood and caring for a helpless infant may be the only thing capable of instilling some sense of responsability and maturity in these ignorant and foolish girls (they may be 17, but they are a long way off from womanhood).
greekinfidel on June 20, 2008 at 6:03 PM
That sought for ‘status’ will change about the time the first labor pain hits. ‘course we won’t see that on You-tube.
GarandFan on June 20, 2008 at 6:28 PM
And the feedings every two hours, even in the wee hours…
That’s why I’m a bit nerved about this pregnancy. Been there, done that. I dread wee-hour feedings!
newton on June 20, 2008 at 6:46 PM
The terms “sluts” and “whores” come to mind, but I know that’s pretty insensitive of me to say. Maybe if their Moms and Dads explained to them the concepts of modesty, dignity, and respect, maybe a verse or two from Proverbs 31, or even introduced them to Wendy Shalit’s “A Return to Modesty“… But no, and now they, and we, have to live with their decisions.
Send_Me on June 20, 2008 at 6:59 PM
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