Video: The most unspeakable “Star Wars” production since the holiday special
posted at 6:55 pm on June 17, 2008 by Allahpundit
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And as with the holiday special, Chewbacca’s the biggest turd in a punchbowl overflowing with them. There’s simply no way to make something as ungainly and ridiculous as a Wookiee credible except by putting him on a war footing, where his size and ferocity become intimidating. Stick him in a dance number or have him emote with Harrison Ford or give him anything to do that’s mundane and you’re doomed to campy hilarity. Mix in the title song from “Footloose” and you’re risking cringe-induced seizures.
But let me say this. The Vader/Stormtrooper “Thriller” throwdown? Oddly plausible.
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That is so filled with FAIL I don’t know where to begin.
Painful.
its vintage duh on June 17, 2008 at 6:59 PM
Saw that earlier. How dow you compare it to the misbegotten crapfest that was the Holiday Special. This dance thing is meant to be camp. The Holiday Special was allegedly a serious attempt at dramatic filmmaking. *shudder*
Splashman on June 17, 2008 at 7:01 PM
Tell the truth – this is happening at Gitmo, isn’t it? It’s a new form of torture! Either the prisoners are being forced to watch, or the performers are actually Gitmo detainees being forced to perform as part of their punishment. If so, I’ll bet there was a whole lot of bean-spilling going on just after this was shot. This is way, WAAAAY worse than waterboarding! Simply horrific.
aero on June 17, 2008 at 7:02 PM
oh….. oh my…..
just….. oh…
ha. ive seen the production they put on at disneyland, but this is quite… oh my..
Drunk Report on June 17, 2008 at 7:03 PM
Tighter story than the movies so one should not complain.
BL@KBIRD on June 17, 2008 at 7:04 PM
Good……..Lord. The…uh….well, if you look at the big picture….that was just horrible.
amerpundit on June 17, 2008 at 7:05 PM
Nope. You’re wrong. The holliday special is still worse.
rihar on June 17, 2008 at 7:08 PM
Wookie is having fun, don’t knock it, ’til you tried it! Vader just had a better song.
kirkill on June 17, 2008 at 7:08 PM
Nine hours of listening to lawyers argue about the color of the sky in Federal court today and I come home to this?
Limerick on June 17, 2008 at 7:09 PM
Oh, and that 5 minutes was WAY better than 5 minutes of BHO trying to form a thought.
kirkill on June 17, 2008 at 7:09 PM
That was pretty funny. And Leia was cute.
DaveS on June 17, 2008 at 7:10 PM
I don’t care – Princess Leia is always…always, hot.
nailinmyeye on June 17, 2008 at 7:11 PM
You’d almost start to suspect Lucas will compromise the integrity of his vision just to make a quick buck…
It’s of interesting note, though, that even the theme-park show girl they dug up is considerably more attractive than Carrie Fisher in the original role…
Blacklake on June 17, 2008 at 7:11 PM
Thank goodness — I thought I was the only one who got a chuckle out of it. Vader & his homies made me laugh out loud.
Splashman on June 17, 2008 at 7:16 PM
It’s like Deny Terrio and Lando Calrissian went to California, got married and gave birth to this.
trubble on June 17, 2008 at 7:18 PM
KSM was in the Chewbacca suit…shhhh, keep under your hat.
TheBigOldDog on June 17, 2008 at 7:18 PM
Close your eyes young Padawan, just close your eyes.
-
deesine on June 17, 2008 at 7:19 PM
See, this is why Star Trek fans always looked down their noses at the bubble gum that is Star Wars!
Warner Todd Huston on June 17, 2008 at 7:19 PM
Did anyone see the movie ‘Blades of Glory’? When Will Farrel was the ‘Wizard’ in the ice show? I can’t help but picture the putz in the Wookie suit as Mario Lopez from Saved by the Bell….
except the Wookie dude is apparently taller than Yoda…
Maybe Tim Robbins????
BigWyo on June 17, 2008 at 7:19 PM
Fundamentally unsound on many levels, but oddly compelling in a car-going-off-the cliff sorta way.
Hard to watch, hard to look away.
Mike D. on June 17, 2008 at 7:21 PM
That’s what I used to think….until I heard Sulu was marrying that bitch he’s with….
BigWyo on June 17, 2008 at 7:21 PM
I suggest you qualify that statement. This gal’s kinda cute, but in my opinion (see, that’s a qualification) she doesn’t compare well at all. For one thing, she’s got a good 40 pounds on Carrie Fisher of 1976, and none of those pounds are in the right place. And just because she can lip-synch Cyndi Lauper doesn’t mean she can act.
Splashman on June 17, 2008 at 7:22 PM
No dancing stormtrooper palate cleanser?
TexasDan on June 17, 2008 at 7:23 PM
Heh, the Moron-in-Chief posted this almost a week ago.
doubleplusundead on June 17, 2008 at 7:23 PM
This is at least as interesting as the actual movies.
Which are just absurd.
SteveMG on June 17, 2008 at 7:25 PM
HA! That was awesome! Chewie and Darth were hysterical (and pretty good dancers too) but the best part is that they were making fun of reality show dance competitions. The Darth head bob was the best.
Tony737 on June 17, 2008 at 7:27 PM
Totally unwatchable.
stonemeister on June 17, 2008 at 7:28 PM
I see a connection between there being an audience for a comical/light/hard har har Darth Vader, and the fact that so many people can accept empty suit Obama as a serious candidate. Evil (Islamic Jihad…) is just not real; it’s just artifice created by the Republicans…
ParisParamus on June 17, 2008 at 7:29 PM
This is just one of those things you can look at and say to yourself…’Ya know, things might get bad, things might look bleak, but at least your not one of these poor bastards’…
Can you imagine waking up in the morning and looking at yourself in the mirror….“IT’S SHOWTIME!!!!”
Or answering that ever present question..’So, what do you do for a living’?
GaaHHH!!!!
BigWyo on June 17, 2008 at 7:30 PM
Does George Lucas pay any attention to his intellectual property? He shouldn’t allow his people to generate a few bucks on something that diminishes his brand equity.
I’ll give credit though to the guy who could dance a little in the wookie costume. Must be murder on hot days.
dedalus on June 17, 2008 at 7:31 PM
The proper syntax is:
this is so old even Ace wouldn’t post it. Oh wait. He did, weeks ago :P
lorien1973 on June 17, 2008 at 7:31 PM
Vader should stick with “Chocolate Rain.”
My collie says:
Curse you AllahPundit. See what you’ve started?
CyberCipher on June 17, 2008 at 7:35 PM
Oops, well, I am a moron.
doubleplusundead on June 17, 2008 at 7:37 PM
“But let me say this. The Vader/Stormtrooper “Thriller” throwdown? Oddly plausible.”
Yes. They say Darth Vader was very athletic in his younger days.
Until Obi Wan sliced off his legs.
NCC on June 17, 2008 at 7:42 PM
I changed my mind. Those performers aren’t Gitmo detainees being tortured. They must be illegal aliens, doing the jobs Americans wouldn’t be caught dead doing.
aero on June 17, 2008 at 7:42 PM
Ruining it … for the children.
And everybody else.
Howcum Lucas didn’t get a Barack The Hero figure in there doing a lightpantsed number?
A Barry Jackson ghoul, maybe. But with all the faces at once.
And end with Michelle Nobel-less belting:
“Oh, crypto-marxists just wanna have fun!”
profitsbeard on June 17, 2008 at 7:44 PM
It was amusing. Nice change from Obama and McCain.
gator70 on June 17, 2008 at 8:04 PM
I hate to throw in a comparison to one of the (far less entertaining) dance shows but Chewbacca was a dead ringer for Evander Hollyfield on Dancing with the Stars.
highhopes on June 17, 2008 at 8:06 PM
Mel Brooks must be kicking himself that he didn’t think of this for Spaceballs.
Only thing that could have redeemed this clip is Vader busting in and killing everyone and declaring himself the winner. Nevermind this thriller sh*t.
austinnelly on June 17, 2008 at 8:09 PM
The wife and I travel down to WDW every June for this! HA! No, we’re NOT Star Wars fans–but we LOVE to attend at least one of the five “Star Wars Weekends” at Disney’s Hollywood Studios (formerly MGM). Why? Because it’s FREAKIN’ HILARIOUS! It’s aimed at little kids, folks–and the love it. We especially love to see all the geeky adults walking around in full Star Wars regalia in 95 degree heat. It’s AWESOME!
Sadly, we couldn’t make it this year–we’re heading down there in three weeks.
Just google Star Wars Weekends and you’ll see all the stuff WDW does.
I LOVE IT! As soon as you all realize that Star Wars is craptastic, then you’ll feel much better about yourselves. Star Trek is even more craptastic. Yes, I said it.
robblefarian on June 17, 2008 at 8:19 PM
WHAT? No knuckle bump heard accross the galaxy?
badpenguin on June 17, 2008 at 8:27 PM
Awesome!
Mojave Mark on June 17, 2008 at 8:33 PM
He pays attention. He just doesn’t give a crap.
Blacklake on June 17, 2008 at 8:41 PM
I have a friend that works at several of these shows for multiple theme parks in Southern California and I admire how he can make a living at it.
No, he’s not in the video…
ScottMcC on June 17, 2008 at 8:50 PM
that was ridiculous. It was obviously created by a producer that knows nothing about the movies, but understands it did well at the box office. This was designed for children who aren’t familiar with the Star Wars movies.
This was an awful combination of ‘entertainment’ obviously designed by some gays in Hollywood.
ThackerAgency on June 17, 2008 at 8:51 PM
The only time any character from Star Wars should dance is inside one of the Lego Star Wars games. Because it’s funny when it’s Legos.
Epic FAIL.
Anna on June 17, 2008 at 8:54 PM
Why come someone saw fit to put shorts on the Kool-Aid guy but not on Chuy?
madmonkphotog on June 17, 2008 at 9:09 PM
My God I hope George Lucas puts this on somewhere as part of a Barack Obama fundraiser right before the election. It would be the funniest thing since Francis Ford Coppola’s 30-minute political ad for Jerry Brown in his 1980 presidential run.
jon1979 on June 17, 2008 at 9:11 PM
Chewy got screwed.
rivlax on June 17, 2008 at 9:16 PM
Sci fi people scare me. Here’s another take on the SWHS though.
srhoades on June 17, 2008 at 9:34 PM
I liked it!!!
sinsing on June 17, 2008 at 9:59 PM
Next week, for the Galaxy Championship, the Darth Dancers vs. the Filipino Inmates.
jgapinoy on June 17, 2008 at 10:31 PM
YES .. HE.. GOT .. SCREWED..!
I confess, I’m a Wookie fan.. He was very brave.. He must have American military DNA.
As for
I agree with Splashman:
I’ve got the life-size Carrie Fisher as the Princess Leia cardboard cut-out right here staring at me AND that theme-park show girl AIN’T got NOTHING on the original.
Thanks Allah, that was great. I want to go to the next.
Texas Gal on June 17, 2008 at 10:40 PM
I liked the ending,but as they say
different strokes,for different folks!
Or even more simplier,fuel injected
or carburatored!
canopfor on June 17, 2008 at 10:57 PM
When I was in Disneyworld, just before the daytime parade started it began to rain. They continued on with the parade. It was pouring; the performers were soaked. It was absolutely stupid and funny. The best part: when the parade ended, so did the rain.
hadsil on June 17, 2008 at 11:58 PM
Sorry folks,
My 5 and 7 year old daughters saw this on YouTube, and it is their most favoritist thing on the planet right now.
We are going to Disney World next week, and if we miss this little camporama, my life will not be worth a plug nickel.
That said, even without them, I wouldn’t miss this in return for a festering boil on the Messiah’s nose.
dougwinship on June 18, 2008 at 12:11 AM
want to look away… but can’t resist urge to watch.
Must resist…
Argh…
Noooooooooooooo!
cannonball on June 18, 2008 at 12:24 AM
this would have been more interesting if one of the contestants used the rick roll.
mram on June 18, 2008 at 12:48 AM
Ehh… Vader with Thriller was funny, the others had poor song choices.
Wookies should not be dancing to Footloose… “Wild Thing” maybe, but Footloose- and with a Jawa??!
Princess Leia needed more of an Action Girl song (not the party girl song they gave her). Something like “She’s Just a Little Bit Dangerous”- something that says you better treat this girl right or else she might just blow your head off.
Sackett on June 18, 2008 at 1:01 AM
/gagging sounds.
44Magnum on June 18, 2008 at 1:04 AM
I was hoping for a father / daughter dance.
For me, the most disturbing part was the female gamorrean guard ’shake that thang’.
fanderbiles on June 18, 2008 at 1:14 AM
I am schlocked, simply schlocked.
HawaiiLwyr on June 18, 2008 at 1:40 AM
Wheres Rusty?
Viper1 on June 18, 2008 at 7:08 AM
Where the hell was that filmed?
Epic lol though.
Reaps on June 18, 2008 at 7:21 AM
Hell, KSM IS a Chewbacca suit.
James on June 18, 2008 at 7:57 AM
*sigh*
What color is the sky in your world?
JetBoy on June 18, 2008 at 9:08 AM
I’m going to go to college, get a good degree, find a sweetheart, get married, have a few kids, raise them up, watch them get married and have children…
just so I can tell the grandkids about the day I saw a Wookie dance.
Doug on June 18, 2008 at 9:11 AM
I’ll say.
Gays and liberals. tut..
Reaps on June 18, 2008 at 10:10 AM
Ghey. Ghey. Totally ghey. Liberace ghey.
But pretty damn entertaining!
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on June 18, 2008 at 10:13 AM
I’ll never be able to watch Star Wars ever again after that. I’ll be afraid that they will re-edit some part of the movie and have Darth break into a Micheal Jackson dance routine. Now thats scary! Which begs the question, which guy is the biggest, freakiest bad guy ever?
Darth Vader: Grotesque, mutilated amputee that wears a mask, chopped his son’s arm off, tried to kill him, tried turn to him and his sister to a life of evil and who was a blood-thirsty, power-hungry maniac.
or
Micheal Jackson: Grotesque, mutilated freak who sometimes wears a mask, hangs babies over balconies, ran a freaky amusement park from his back yard, molested children (allegedly) and went from being one of the most richest and popular entertainers in the world to being one of the poorest and most despised.
(I know, one’s a movie and one’s reality, but let’s suspend belief for a moment)
Your winner by a landslide….Micheal Jackson!
Planet Boulder on June 18, 2008 at 11:38 AM
Ah… what craptastic fun. I enjoy a little bit of worthless viewing to make some of the monotony seem bearable. Lucas and gang are smart enough to use fandom to their advantage. Since some of the fan materials are actually better developed than the films themselves is a testament to how wonderfully craptastic it all really is. A fun family friendly show with characters that are familiar and yet fresh in their campy presentation. SWEET!
What a great and wonderful world we live in when the creator (in this case Lucas) will let the fans enjoy the product and treat it as the popcorn summer camp fare that it really is. Those poor fools who take offense need to relax and enjoy life a little more. Too bad not many people feel that way about their products to let their fans take it in so many different and enjoyably rediculous directions.
bigskinny on June 18, 2008 at 12:41 PM
BTW… I am very glad it was edited and I only needed to surrender a very small portion of my life to view it. :)
Thank the lord (crop/edit/delete tools) for condensing the event into something that is small enough to be watchable without feeling too guilty about the drop in work production.
Oops I hear the whip cracking, later.
bigskinny on June 18, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Allah, Darth does work. I don’t like listening to MJ’s music much anymore but that was quite entertaining.
Sultry Beauty on June 18, 2008 at 4:14 PM
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