Too good to check: Police set to use “crap cannon” on Democratic convention protesters
posted at 6:30 pm on June 10, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Cooler than the “voice of God ray”, not as cool as the gay bomb. If even one mewling Hillary supporter dumps in his pants, it’ll be worth it.
Political activists planning protest rallies at the upcoming Democratic Convention in Denver have their stomachs in knots over a rumor about a crowd control weapon – known as the “crap cannon” – that might be unleashed against them.
Also called “Brown Note,” it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily…
Dr. Roger Schwenke – an expert acoustician who appeared on the Discovery Channel’s “Mythbusters” in 2004 to test the phenomenon – told FOXNews.com there is no scientific evidence that proves such frequencies cause involuntary defecation…
But Schwenke acknowledged the low-frequency exposure did cause an adverse effect [in an experiment]. Several people — including himself — reported “abdominal discomfort,” he said, “which was easily alleviated by moving a moderate distance away from the source.”
You know Fox is going to have Geraldo live on the scene, reporting on the convention. Imagine it.
Update (Ed): South Park did an entire episode on the “Brown Note” from season 8. Here’s a clip from it, after the boys unleash it during the largest recorder concert in human history, led by Yoko Ono and Kenny G:
I never thought anyone took this seriously, but then again, no one ever went broke underestimating the rationality of the fringe Left.
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The Brown Note was busted by the Mythbusters long ago.
Sorry.
Typhoon on June 10, 2008 at 6:35 PM
Geraldo is a crap cannon.
DAT60A3 on June 10, 2008 at 6:35 PM
But how we will distinguish this from the protestors’ normal behavior?
Realist on June 10, 2008 at 6:36 PM
Strange. I have that same reaction when I hear Obama speak.
JonRoss on June 10, 2008 at 6:36 PM
What are they worried about? There’s already so much crap flying around, they won’t notice a difference.
amerpundit on June 10, 2008 at 6:36 PM
via fox
via Allah
Can we hope they ray gun Geraldo? Brown Note or ASD (aka the Death Ray)… either will do do!
upinak on June 10, 2008 at 6:38 PM
Shit to hit the streets in Denver.
Maquis on June 10, 2008 at 6:39 PM
The convention is shaping up to be an episode of South Park. I hope Cartman shows up and demands that those hippies RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!!
boko fittleworth on June 10, 2008 at 6:42 PM
So instead of Geraldo spitting…
mikeyboss on June 10, 2008 at 6:46 PM
This IS a South Park episode.
Limerick on June 10, 2008 at 6:49 PM
The stench, the hilarity, the legend
LimeyGeek on June 10, 2008 at 6:49 PM
Mythbusters only really has so much budget to disprove stuff for one show at a time that’s their problem. Don’t get me wrong I love that show. I have to say though that the band DEVO was successful in performing the “brown note” back in the early 80’s. But its only anecdotal.
-Wasteland Man.
WastelandMan on June 10, 2008 at 6:50 PM
These liberal scat-freaks are just going to use that as an excuse to defecate on themselves.
Bill Brasky on June 10, 2008 at 6:50 PM
Many have quoted G.K. Chesterton, but it may have been some else who said words to the effect:
Since the Educrats have managed to convince generations of Americans to doubt their own common sense, it’s even truer now.
darkpixel on June 10, 2008 at 6:50 PM
Hillary supporters?? Turn that thing on the anarchists, man. It’ll create a Temporary Autonomous Zone in their pants.
Hannibal Smith on June 10, 2008 at 6:51 PM
If only there was something like THIS for the police force to use..
Be unshaven legs everywhere..
DaveC on June 10, 2008 at 6:51 PM
I need volunteers to help me engineer a brown note or crap cannon. The possibilities of its many uses here in California are endless. When the code pinkos get together, constant usage in the city of Berkeley, and every time the legislature goes in session. Dreaming of a better California.
PrettyD_Vicious on June 10, 2008 at 6:54 PM
Neocon lies!
jimmy the notable on June 10, 2008 at 6:57 PM
Why… this is craptacular!
Scribbler on June 10, 2008 at 6:57 PM
Set phasers to maximum drizzle.
alycan1 on June 10, 2008 at 6:59 PM
I was hoping it was a cannon that fired crap. That’d be good. I’d donate.
Bob's Kid on June 10, 2008 at 6:59 PM
And they were worried about Republicans puking on the streets in Minn.
whitetop on June 10, 2008 at 6:59 PM
Well this could bode ill for the Hitlery supporters. The cleanup crews will be cleaning up crap and since her supporters and crap are the same thing, they may have to spend the night in a dumpster.
csdeven on June 10, 2008 at 7:04 PM
Uh, that’s just SOP for this crowd….
locomotivebreath1901 on June 10, 2008 at 7:10 PM
Ok, I wanna get this straight…some one correct me if I’m wrong.
First, Denver is going to be deluged with a wad of greasy assed, unemployed, brain dead ‘Progressive’ libtard hippies and after the Democrat convention is over…..they pack up all their crap, jump into their Scions and boogie up to St. Paul???
Good Lord!!! Tasers, delousing powder, night sticks and plastic handcuffs for ALL!!
I’m gonna have to check to see what the fine is for kicking a lung out of a hippie…
BigWyo on June 10, 2008 at 7:10 PM
“Clean-up on I-25.”
whitetop on June 10, 2008 at 7:13 PM
Just to play it safe I’m showin up in Depends super duty.
alycan1 on June 10, 2008 at 7:14 PM
Another slow news nite AP?
jerrytbg on June 10, 2008 at 7:17 PM
When I saw the headline I thought they were planning to calm the Democrats down by shooting them with their own brains.
backwoods conservative on June 10, 2008 at 7:23 PM
gives a new meaning to ‘Chocolate Rain’..
DaveC on June 10, 2008 at 7:24 PM
for maximum effect, hit them with ‘The Nude Bomb’ , THEN the brown noise generator..
DaveC on June 10, 2008 at 7:25 PM
i think it is racist to call Obama the brown note, although the idea of him being president does make me want to crap my pants.
custer on June 10, 2008 at 7:34 PM
One thing’s for certain; if they’re wearing dark baggy pants, there will be no way to tell that it actually worked.
steveegg on June 10, 2008 at 7:35 PM
Now we know, Obama’s the crap cannon!
backwoods conservative on June 10, 2008 at 7:36 PM
But given the way some hippies usually smell, how would anybody tell the difference?
Sekhmet on June 10, 2008 at 7:42 PM
Better yet the gay bomb first.
After all, both are in the US arsenal of weapons according to the idiots worried about the crap cannon.
F15Mech on June 10, 2008 at 7:43 PM
Who needs a crap cannon at the Democratic Convention when PMSNBC will have Matthews and Olby covering the event?
pilamaye on June 10, 2008 at 7:43 PM
get over your obsessive Obama/iPhone love Allah
you hate McCain
windansea on June 10, 2008 at 7:56 PM
So… this is that elusive “brown sound” that Van Halen has been after for years.
The gay bomb has no effect on Democrats.
Mojave Mark on June 10, 2008 at 7:58 PM
But then the poor monkeys couldn’t fling their own poo around…no fair!
funky chicken on June 10, 2008 at 8:10 PM
True however a gay bomb followed up with a crap cannon….
Victory I tell you (in a complete stereotype sort of way).
F15Mech on June 10, 2008 at 8:11 PM
LOL
funky chicken on June 10, 2008 at 8:11 PM
Oh my God I hope it’s true and really works. That would be absolute bliss to watch all those libs and hippies crap in their droors. Can you imagine? Hah!
Even to watch them run away clutching their abdomen would be pretty funny.
Geronimo on June 10, 2008 at 8:18 PM
Ed, that episode,”World Wide Recorder Concert”, was actually Season 3.
Just looking out for you here.
Hawkins1701 on June 10, 2008 at 8:27 PM
Who needs technology to get Democrats to spew crap?
That’s what they do!!! That’s all they do!!!!!!
Hening on June 10, 2008 at 8:35 PM
RMC1618 on June 10, 2008 at 8:36 PM
I thought they busted this on Mythbusters
badpenguin on June 10, 2008 at 8:49 PM
Perhaps it’s a typo and they actually meant “crab cannon”: They’re going to blast a single Bach piece continuously for hours on end until they disperse…
sanguine4 on June 10, 2008 at 9:02 PM
Sh/t is too good fer ‘em!
TheSitRep on June 10, 2008 at 9:03 PM
I hope it works. They deserve a good size serving of what they have been shoveling all these years.
Zorro on June 10, 2008 at 9:07 PM
I hope the “crap cannon”, should it ever be used on American citizens peacefully protesting, turns out to be a piece of crap.
RMC1618 on June 10, 2008 at 9:33 PM
Don’t glaze me, bro!
sulla on June 10, 2008 at 9:34 PM
Awww, I was hoping for Rods of God on Denver.
Coronagold on June 10, 2008 at 9:36 PM
Season 3, not 8.
Good Lt on June 10, 2008 at 10:03 PM
This certainly puts a new meaning to the following phrases:
– “standing around and shooting the breeze”….
– “painting the town
redbrown”.
.
– and last but not least…
– “chewing the
cudcrap”, especially with Chriss Matthew’s tall legs tingling, Geraldo’s mustache moving and Olbermann’s brain bursting..but I digress….
I really enjoyed all the puns above, it’s been craptastic!!
Mcguyver on June 10, 2008 at 10:44 PM
LOL at the South Park clip. Loved that episode.
BTW, is it true that Trey Parker and Matt Stone are actually going to put up the complete episodes of South Park for free?
mram on June 10, 2008 at 10:56 PM
Ick,so everything will be coloured sh!t brindle brown!
Ha ha.
canopfor on June 10, 2008 at 11:21 PM
Democrats, Crap-cannon and an open flame? Yikes, the whole town could go up.
Claypigeon on June 11, 2008 at 12:26 AM
Beautiful mayhem.
Capitana on June 11, 2008 at 1:06 AM
oh sh!t.
hillbillyjim on June 11, 2008 at 1:53 AM
I’m thinking that would probably easier to make too.
Although quite a bit messier to operate and service. Particularly into a headwind.
wearyman on June 11, 2008 at 7:28 AM
In a crowd of leftie socialists how would anyone know if the “Brown Note” was working or it is just events as usual?
Wade on June 11, 2008 at 8:26 AM
I saw the Mythbusters episode where they “debunked” the notion of the “brown note”. That particular episode is why I’ve dismissed the people on that show as complete idiots.
First of all, they only used a single frequency source. My first guess was that the “note”, if it existed, constitutes a combination of frequencies. Anyone who has ever tuned a guitar “the old fashioned way” knows full well that dissimilar frequencies create distinct “beats” which are far more pronounced that standard harmonic tones. Still, the ‘Busters never even tried combinations of frequencies, making me question both their knowledge of waves & vibrations, and proper scientific testing.
Second, the even dorkier of the two was told to put on a diaper, just in case. He put it on OUTSIDE HIS CLOTHES. How stupid is that?
ynot4tony2 on June 11, 2008 at 8:50 AM
I’d be delighted to contribute my OWN crap to this noble effort.
RAMON! Fetch me my Fiber One bars!
Spanglemaker on June 11, 2008 at 9:11 AM
It would be awesome if true. Imagine the international outrage when they all have to wipe with their kaffiyehs.
JimRich on June 11, 2008 at 9:32 AM
if you want, the site I go to is, Stan’s Dad dot com and has all the episodes there..
DaveC on June 11, 2008 at 9:41 AM
debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily
Oh, if you want that, tell your favorite progressive that Karl Rove is waiting for them in the hotel room/tent/commune.
I R A Darth Aggie on June 11, 2008 at 9:49 AM
Watching Geraldo dump in his pants would be worth the price of admission.
Steve Z on June 11, 2008 at 11:29 AM
If Yoko Ono and Kenny G appeared in real life together on a stage, for a worldwide simulcast, there would be no need for a brown note generator…..
Think_b4_speaking on June 11, 2008 at 3:23 PM
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