Australia media outlet tells kids when they should die for greenhouse-gas abuse

posted at 7:52 am on May 29, 2008 by Ed Morrissey

How big a greenhouse pig are you? That’s the question Australian broadcaster ABC (not affiliated with the American broadcaster of the same name) asks children in its new Planet Slayer site, which appears aimed at prepubescents with Greena the Warrior Princess and its charmless artwork. In its instructions for the “Greenhouse Calculator”, it tells players that the survey they take will calculate how much time they should have to live so that they “don’t use more than your fair share of Earth’s resources!”

The game delivers on its promise, although it wants to know some un-green aspects of life as well, such as how much money one spends in a year and how much meat one eats. It doesn’t like bigger houses or even bigger cars that don’t get driven much, but that’s not really surprising. Once the survey finishes, it features an exploding, bloody pig as it delivers its verdict on whether you have lived past your share of Earth’s resources.

I should have kicked it at 10 years old, according to this game. That seems just a tad harsh, considering that I didn’t drive at all until I was 16 and didn’t own my own house until after I turned 30. In fact, the response seems as absurd as the concept of the game itself.

How does ABC’s “science” editors describe the game? “Get the dirt on greenhouse without the guilt trips. No lectures. No multinational-bashing (well, maybe a little…). Just fun and games and the answers to all your enviro-dilemas.” No guilt trips — just find out when you should have died for everyone else’s sake, you greedy little b*****d!

In reality, it’s just another Marxist construct, and a moronic one at that.  It’s all part of indoctrinating children into collectivist thought, rationing, and fear.  It certainly doesn’t have any relation to science

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It’s any wonder why children are going to the psychiatrist because they’ve been scared out of their wits from this bilge?

bikermailman on May 29, 2008 at 7:56 AM

Every breath you exhale kills a bunny, kids. Sleep tight!

Keep these ghoulish creeps a thousand miles from any kid of mine.

joewm315 on May 29, 2008 at 7:56 AM

Well, this is certainly troubling. I should have died 35 years ago.

Was a memo sent out?

wccawa on May 29, 2008 at 7:57 AM

I wonder what color shirts the Aussie Youths will be wearing. Green?

NotCoach on May 29, 2008 at 8:01 AM

Makes me think of this nifty list of things we can do to save the planet.

bikermailman on May 29, 2008 at 8:02 AM

I’m starting to believe that liberalism really is a mental disease, and a seriously debilitating one at that.

AZCoyote on May 29, 2008 at 8:02 AM

Awesome! I should’ve died at age 2.7. I’d better get the wormhole from The Andromeda Strain fired up so I can go back and actually die from all the crazy toddler stuff I did.

bikermailman on May 29, 2008 at 8:06 AM

Gee, I made it all the way to 5.4 years. I’d like to see those who designed this little stunt (and not even a cunning one at that) take the test themselves and then, . . ., well, they do want to do their part to save Gaia don’t they?

rbj on May 29, 2008 at 8:11 AM

I should have died at 3.7 years. Amazing. Seems the biggest deciding factor in this is class envy, as the money slider has the biggest weight. Keep in mind, there weren’t nonsense things like “carbon credits” for me to invest in 34 years ago, when I “should” have died.

One of us (I don’t have the skill) should make a similar flash presentation, letting people know when they should have died for using up their stupidity allowance.

For instance, if you click “yes” to “Have you ever tried to scare children into enviro-compliance with exploding pigs?”, the avatar instantly turns into a fetus, becomes stabbed in the head with a coat-hanger, and the message “You should have never been born” appears.

Sorry to be so gruesome…but at least I’m not marketting my ideas for kids.

ynot4tony2 on May 29, 2008 at 8:12 AM

Lileks blogged about this a couple days ago. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I only got down to an expiration date of 8.1 years old. Don’t judge me! I promise to work hard in the coming year to get it lower…

Lee on May 29, 2008 at 8:14 AM

The funny thing is, I live 1.5 miles from work, and make a tank of gas (in my evil SUV) last 2-4 weeks, depending on how much I go to the city. I rarely fly, turn off lights when I’m not in the room, yada yada. Yet I’m such a pig! Maybe someone should punch in the numbers for AlBore. I’m guessing he should have died when his great grandfather was a pup.

bikermailman on May 29, 2008 at 8:18 AM

Hrm. Apparently, I should have died at the ripe old age of 2.2. Let’s see, I drive less than 40 miles per week, fly no more than once per year, usually recycle, etc. I guess is the rampant consumerism of paying two car payments, mortgage, and food that makes me such a porker. I’d be better off if I used a bow and arrow to hunt for my food, though my neighbors might object.

Nugai on May 29, 2008 at 8:18 AM

Maybe someone should punch in the numbers for AlBore. I’m guessing he should have died when his great grandfather was a pup.

You would think so, based on the mansion, the airlines miles in the private plane, and so forth, but the quiz gives such an ungodly bonus for “ethical investments” and “stuff that is good for the environment” that he scores no worse than I do. . . despite his energy bills for a month being more than mine for a year, and his yearly flights more than I will do for the next 30.

Nugai on May 29, 2008 at 8:23 AM

The game delivers on its promise, although it wants to know some un-green aspects of life as well, such as how much money one spends in a year and how much meat one eats.

Heh

My 10 year old daughter brought home (from school) Time For Kids on Earth Day and on the back cover was an interview with some uberGreen lady (a hippie, really, though I don’t use that word as a pejorative). It was a Q&A piece.

One bit of her advice for young people looking to save the planet: “Don’t buy too much stuff.

In what ways does she help to save the planet? “I don’t eat meat.

Of course she described doing many other things to be “green” bit I though that meat one to be odd.

SlimyBill on May 29, 2008 at 8:23 AM

how much meat one eats

I’ve noticed how the vegetarians are hooking up to the ‘carbon footprint” craze. In my area National Grid is running a commercial which advocates reducing your “carbon footprint” by eating one vegetarian meal each week. I think that global warming will fall by the wayside in favor of “carbon footprint” because it doesn’t seem to be getting warmer every year and “carbon footprint” will open up so much more to being controlled and restricted. It’s 40 degrees this morning in southern MA and it’s been years since I’ve been able to leave my windows open at night during the spring. If global warming continues this way I may have to move further south where it’s warmer and cheaper to live because having to run my furnace though May with $4.25/gal oil is breaking me.

jmarcure on May 29, 2008 at 8:25 AM

Of course she described doing many other things to be “green” bit I though that meat one to be odd.
SlimyBill on May 29, 2008 at 8:23 AM

The greentards like to use the methane belching thing, as well as land use, water use, transportation, oil used in fertilizers for the grain, etc as their argument against meat. That is supposed to be one of the biggest Sins.

bikermailman on May 29, 2008 at 8:29 AM

I’d be better off if I used a bow and arrow to hunt for my food, though my neighbors might object.
Nugai on May 29, 2008 at 8:18 AM

I have some tasteee cat recipies if you’d like.

bikermailman on May 29, 2008 at 8:30 AM

I should have been finished at 2.6 years.

Too bad, because I was really cute at that age.

BigD on May 29, 2008 at 8:31 AM

I should have clinked off at 4.0 years, before I spent money, owned a car or bought a house.

I noticed that at no point was I ever seen as “good” in any way, even though my answers were on the “good” side of the average. The game *really* doesn’t like spending, which I’m sure they will describe as an indication of the production of CO2 to manufacture the goods I purchase. Never mind that I live in one of the cleanest first-world economies, on a % of GDP basis. What tripe.

Bigurn on May 29, 2008 at 8:42 AM

Go through that whole site.

How about Cop a Feel for the environment?

JammieWearingFool on May 29, 2008 at 8:43 AM

In reality, it’s just another Marxist construct, and a moronic one at that. It’s all part of indoctrinating children into collectivist thought, rationing, and fear. It certainly doesn’t have any relation to science

No. I’ve found actual Marxist to have more sense about some of these matters than the supposed believers in supply and demand here. I was talking to my next door neighbor, a patriotic Chinese communist brain surgery resident, yesterday. He babbled on how excited he was about the Olympics coming to China, so I changed the conversation more to my interest, the one-child policy. His response was immediate. He said if they were 3 billion Chinese now rather than 1.3 billion, we be much more unhappy with gas prices.

Here, I read about the magic creationist oil supply that is basically limitless–as in the book Black Gold Stranglehold: The Myth of Scarcity and the Politics of Oil
By Jerome R. Corsi, Ph.D. and Craig R. Smith.

thuja on May 29, 2008 at 8:46 AM

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

Asher on May 29, 2008 at 8:49 AM

Save the planet – plant a greenie!

OldEnglish on May 29, 2008 at 8:52 AM

You stay classy, eco-horde!

ZK on May 29, 2008 at 8:53 AM

Try the last video, it probably says more than all the rest. In the last few frames, the dog pulls down her curtains…and they are Che curtains – What a surprise!!

saukeye on May 29, 2008 at 8:59 AM

We lack the infrastructure to confront this.

Public education was supposed to be the first line of defense against sophistry. But if your kid were to challenge the premises of radical environmentalism in the classroom, he’d be sent to mandatory diversity training in a heartbeat.

jeff_from_mpls on May 29, 2008 at 9:05 AM

I should have died at 20. Oh well. I guess all the recycling and craming 5 people in a townhouse and a car (not suv) doesn’t make up for the fact that we blew half of our money on school for me (in a pretty environmentally friendly way no less).

I love their oh-so-scientific reasonings behind the questions.

Anna on May 29, 2008 at 9:09 AM

Disgusting.

We may eventually hear of troubled kids – who don’t get enough protein in their diet to support brain function – offing themselves to Save The Planet. Then, in my mind, this movement will be guilty of murder.

I’m just waiting for the greenie adults to start staging mass suicides to prove their commitment to their cause religion cult. Because otherwise, they are all massive hypocrites trying to indoctrinate children to do the dying for them…

Redhead Infidel on May 29, 2008 at 9:14 AM

what kind of enviro-creeps invented this sick game? “you don’t want to hurt mother Earth do you? so before you use up your share of reasources, you should DIE!”

RMC1618 on May 29, 2008 at 9:17 AM

this story sends a chill up my spine.

RMC1618 on May 29, 2008 at 9:18 AM

Just bring back Captain Planet already and run it on NBC’s primetime lineup.

Grafted on May 29, 2008 at 9:22 AM

I should have died at 4.7. The primary factor was that I spent between 25-40k last year.

Grafted on May 29, 2008 at 9:26 AM

I made it to 10.1 on the “game.”

I’m only green when it actually saves me money. Any other time, it seems like a waste of money if there is no proof behind it being better for you or the environment.

ScoopPC11 on May 29, 2008 at 9:31 AM

I’m starting to believe that liberalism really is a mental disease, and a seriously debilitating one at that.

AZCoyote on May 29, 2008 at 8:02 AM

It is, but it’s fatal, actually (cf. abortion, euthanasia, suicide for greenhouse pigs etc etc). To others. Never to the progressive, enlightened ones themselves.

inviolet on May 29, 2008 at 9:35 AM

liberalism is a mental disorder

blatantblue on May 29, 2008 at 9:38 AM

Terrible.

shick on May 29, 2008 at 9:38 AM

Interesting how I can leave a message on this topic but not on another.

shick on May 29, 2008 at 9:39 AM

I was convinced this was a grotesque parody but now I see it’s just grotesque.

I just clicked on “This is your lifestyle” and the tagline was “the only game where you find out how much you really suck”.

The videos are a parody of the whole movement complete with references to the JFK assassination, Che, and dumb, violent huntin’, shootin’ MEN.

Redhead Infidel on May 29, 2008 at 9:39 AM

Wow, I shoulda been dead before I started playing T-Ball. 5.7 here. What a pig I’ve been, let me go find that razor blade and get out y’alls way…….psych!!!

brewser on May 29, 2008 at 9:44 AM

I made it all the way to 11 years… and I walk everywhere, spend little money, rarely eat meat, and don’t live in a house. What seemed to kill me was the audacity to live alone in my apartment, so I checked out the “science” behind the question about sharing living space and found this:

The more people you share with, the lower energy cost you’ll have, because housemates share cooking, tv, stereo-time, and the occasional bath

Besides the logic that more housemates = MORE cooking, tv, and stereo-time… sharing the occasional bath? Seriously? Sounds like a hippie-commune orgy scene to me…

Wineaholic on May 29, 2008 at 9:53 AM

I have go two nieces who just graduated from college in Tasmania and they have been brainwashed with this enviro-communist dogma.

Johan Klaus on May 29, 2008 at 9:58 AM

I’m probably the greenest conservative on the planet; hell I run a greenhouse and compost facility and care for thousands of plants year round, I ride a bike and recycle EVERYTHING and I still shouldn’t make it past 17.2? No wonder environmentalism has such a bad image, I’m all for keeping God’s green Earth clean but these twits are just ridiculous.

Ciannaky on May 29, 2008 at 9:58 AM

Seriously? Sounds like a hippie-commune orgy scene to me…

Wineaholic on May 29, 2008 at 9:53 AM

Sounds like Hitler youth to me.

Johan Klaus on May 29, 2008 at 10:00 AM

Ed, your link to “dirt on greenhouse” seems to be broken.

Maxx on May 29, 2008 at 10:02 AM

Wineaholic on May 29, 2008 at 9:53 AM

Well, not to stick up for this tripe, but we do share showers and baths in our house. The three kids I bathe together, and my husband and I often shower together when he home (to save time!!). Though, with two tvs and three kids, we probably use more than our fair share of tv.

Anna on May 29, 2008 at 10:02 AM

This is what logically follows when the creation, and not the Creator, is worshiped. Nothing new here.

jackmac on May 29, 2008 at 10:02 AM

and my husband and I often shower together when he home (to save time!!).

Anna on May 29, 2008 at 10:02 AM

That has not been my experience with my wife. {saving time}

Johan Klaus on May 29, 2008 at 10:09 AM

I ran a search on the chick credited with “the idea” behind Greena and found an article in some hippie bullsh1t “holistic” magazine:

“Ten years ago I was on a plane heading back to England, having interrupted my round the world trip with a six year stay in Australia….

“In the meantime, I had become an Australian citizen and was free to continue my travels, knowing that I could always return to my new homeland. I headed to London…”

The real-life Greena on a plane? On a “round the world trip?” Is she saying she didn’t bicycle the whole way? WTF? How many babies have to be aborted now to make up for her round the world trip so she could find herself?

saint kansas on May 29, 2008 at 10:11 AM

I made it to 2.9 years. And I live in a tiny apartment, no car, walk and take public transportation everywhere. Other surveys I’ve taken put my “carbon footprint” at about 10% of the American average.

What would it have taken for these folks to determine I deserved to live until, oh, say, kindergarten age? Starvation? Death? I guess so. Win-win.

Gilda on May 29, 2008 at 10:14 AM

After playing with this stupid thing for a little bit it does not take long to see that this is just bad in so many ways. For instance, being someone who has a lot and spends like you have a lot, which ultimately enriches many others as well, you would only live for 1.1 years.

BUT, you can live like a pig as long as you are spending your money properly. The key is all in how you answer the very last question and thus the real aim of this propaganda tool. By moving both sliders all the way to the left in question number 11, no matter how you answer the other questions, you’ll live forever! In fact, if you have both sliders in question number 11 all the way to the left you are penalized in question number 10 for spending less money.

And if the sliders are all the way to the right in question 11? No matter how you answer the other questions you are a detestable pig and will die an early and horrible death as you should.

This game is just plain awful and those who promote this crap should be ashamed of themselves.

Do you know why liberals call us fascists? Because we refuse to embrace their indoctrination regime.

NotCoach on May 29, 2008 at 10:15 AM

Correction to the above: If you spend like a homeless person with the sliders all the way to the right in question number 11 you are allowed to live into your late 20s.

NotCoach on May 29, 2008 at 10:18 AM

Yes, the global warming fraud is about oh so much more than JUST taxing your brains out. It’s very anti-human at it’s core. They make CO2 the “bad guy” and that is what we exhale, that should give us all a clue as to where they are going with this if they have their way. Chilling isn’t it?

It must be stopped, we should all take the time to write our representatives in Congress and tell them in no uncertain terms that we are not fooled by this fraud and we want the funding for “global warming research” cut out of the budget completely. Your tone should be respectful yet angry, you have every right to be angry about this. This crap has been going on since the early 1980′s and we have wasted nearly a trillion dollars on it. This is the fourth time a climate fraud has been attempted this century. Be sure to express your anger about that fact to your Senators and Representatives.

Aren’t you tired of them scaring your kids and telling you that you are a pig and all the time stealing your tax dollars? It will just keep getting worse unless you speak up and tell them to shut-up and cut the funding for this enormous fraud.

Maxx on May 29, 2008 at 10:22 AM

According to the calculator, I should have died when I was five. Selfish me.

What idiot thought this was a good idea??

irishspy on May 29, 2008 at 10:23 AM

According to the magic green calculator, we are all like Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense. We’re all dead, we just don’t know it yet. Greena must help us accept our fate and move on…

sporkbender on May 29, 2008 at 10:32 AM

What is with the left’s fascination with that murderous scum, che.

Johan Klaus on May 29, 2008 at 10:32 AM

Oh I didn’t see the second slider, now it says I can live forever. Whew!!! Now I don’t need Jesus. /sarc.

Ciannaky on May 29, 2008 at 10:36 AM

Boy and I thought that the worksheet that the Junior Logician brought home FROM SCHOOL last week was harsh. The good news was his carbon footprint was the third smallest in the class. The bad news is that all those kids who have the mandatory cabin up north now have a serious guilt complex.

LL

Lady Logician on May 29, 2008 at 10:56 AM

Having experienced some of it’s offering, I think that any parent who lets their children watch the ABC needs counseling!

OldEnglish on May 29, 2008 at 11:08 AM

“It certainly doesn’t have any relation to science”. This ‘game’ would have Al Gorebag’s seal of approval.

Christine on May 29, 2008 at 11:11 AM

My pitbull says,

“You should have killed the makers of this website and taken their share of the resources”

I fed him about 6oz of sirloin in the hopes that Peta and the Eco-terrorists loonies could get in a tussle (would Peta have apoplexy if an animal ate another animal…like a dog eating a cow that was slaughtered by humans?)

Geministorm on May 29, 2008 at 11:25 AM

How can anyone be surprised that the media or academia analyze all life against a Marxist construct? You have to admit, the Marxists had a game plan, the long march through the institutions, and they have succeeded in only one generation.

What have the conservatives done to counter this, or to spread their own ideology?

PattyJ on May 29, 2008 at 11:36 AM

BTW, spending money had the biggest effect on my rating (162.1). It appears that I should have killed myself at 1.4 years old (yes, before I was 2, I’m sure they would have actually preferred my mother to have had an abortion). Seems very nihilistic.

Luckily, I was able to live with myself despite the enormous guilt over my excessive consumption.

Beyond that, I found the site *very* amusing although not the type of stuff I would ever allow my kids to read. We’re going out on a Polar Bear hunting expedition now, we don’t want them to suffer with all of the ice melting destroying their habitat. So, we’re putting them out of their misery. After that, we’re going to be killing and eating some cows (those terrible greenhouse gas emitters!) and making fun of loony liberals on the way home…

**Side Note: On the way to dropping the kids off at school today, my oldest (10) said that she’s, “…not an idiot, I’m a Republican!” when the topic of “global warming” came up. She stated that, “…everyone knows that climate change can mean any change…”. I couldn’t have been prouder.

Geministorm on May 29, 2008 at 11:41 AM

The truth is finally out! These Enviro-Fascists are simply the old Euthanasia crowd: you know – the ones who predicted that overpopulation would kill the planet decades ago.

This time, instead of directly advocating killing people, they are going to do it slowly by starving us to death: no energy, no transportation, no food, no water….while they tell us that all this is “good for the planet” (as though the planet put them in charge of deciding).

They were wrong then and wrong now. Technology made it possible for a world population of many times their “maximum” to live comfortably. This time they are trying to disable technology by cutting all power off in order to make their old predictions come true.

landlines on May 29, 2008 at 11:43 AM

HA! you buncha losers… I should have died at 1.9. – Based largely on my spending I might note.

Of course when I was 1.9 years old I didn’t spend nearly as much.

Diogenes of Sinope on May 29, 2008 at 11:43 AM

Kids die from greenhouse gas abuse. They drink too much soda pop, get fat, and die of a heart attack.

Surgeon General’s Warming Warning: Australian beer contains carbon dioxide, which might melt a glacier in AD 5,000.

Steve Z on May 29, 2008 at 11:53 AM

The trick is at the end. At the end, it doesn’t matter if you live in a large house or if your car’s a gas guzzler, if you spend your money where they want you to spend it, you can “live forever.”

Esthier on May 29, 2008 at 11:54 AM

By answering everything as low as possible except for #11, the longest they’ll allow me to live is 31.2, and that’s if I walk everywhere, don’t own a car, don’t fly, live in the smallest house possible, only spend 10k a year, recycle and use renewable sources for energy.

It’s all very anti-capitalistic.

Esthier on May 29, 2008 at 12:14 PM

Johan Klaus on May 29, 2008 at 10:09 AM

I was trying to be, um, family-friendly. Yup.

Esthier on May 29, 2008 at 12:14 PM

My first time, I got 39.8, but when I changed the amount of money I spent last year (forgot the mortgage, maybe because my husband pays it, not me), I went to 20.5. I get props from it because we have 5 in a small house… but if it knew that 3 of those were kids, I’m sure I’d lose points. I’m an irresponsible over-breeder, after all.

Anna on May 29, 2008 at 12:56 PM

5.1 years. And I’m proud to be violating the planet so egregiously.

AbaddonsReign on May 29, 2008 at 1:13 PM

After actually watching the little cartoons, I’m convinced this is parody. I mean, in the first one, the whale is saved because Greena’s pits are smelly, and he runs on his fins into the water. There is no way this is supposed to actually inspire anybody to be more green. It actually makes envirowackos look bad.

Anna on May 29, 2008 at 1:24 PM

The “global warming” movement will go on to the natural consequence of Marxism – human extermination. Just look at the hundreds of millions who died in the twentieth century due to their search of utopia.

And you know what the worst part is? EnviroMarxists, just as those from years past, never seemed to have any qualms about killing for the “perfect world.”

newton on May 29, 2008 at 1:28 PM

I mean, in the first one, the whale is saved because Greena’s pits are smelly, and he runs on his fins into the water.

I took the “This Is Your Lifestyle” quiz (“See how much you suck!”), and the antithesis to Greena is a lovely blonde woman named X-on (Exxon… get it? Ha!) She’s so well-groomed, she must be an evil conservative capitalist!

saint kansas on May 29, 2008 at 1:45 PM

Took the quiz; answered every question honestly except for # 11 (slid all the way to the left as the posters suggested above). It said, “your lifestyle is sustainable for the rest of your natural life.” *(am a pretty average energy user)

So posters above are right – all they want you to do is the environmentally responsible investing and you’re green enough for them. THEY LET YOU LIVE. (/Conan)

inviolet on May 29, 2008 at 2:19 PM

So, for greenies, if you design a website to encourage kids to kill themselves off; do you get extra carbon credits for the resources the dead kids now won’t be using?

Maybe ABC has a financial interest in gaining these carbon credits so they don’t have to pay fines… if they kill off enough young people.

It would at least provide some motivation for this suicide encouragement game.

gekkobear on May 29, 2008 at 2:37 PM

I took the test and answered honestly. I should have died at 2.6 years of age. I beat’em by almost six decades :).

abcurtis on May 29, 2008 at 2:45 PM

Well, not to stick up for this tripe, but we do share showers and baths in our house.

I live alone but I did try suggesting to my next door neighbor that we shower together in order to conserve water. She just slapped me. I guess she’s not worried about saving the planet.

Rip Ford on May 29, 2008 at 2:52 PM

Psychotics.

I wonder how many suicides will come about from this?

Or is that their intent?

“And remember kids…when you’re trying to save the planet, take the blade up the wrists, not across them.”

Black Adam on May 29, 2008 at 3:49 PM

Damn! It killed me off at age 8!

Gatordoug on May 29, 2008 at 8:15 PM

I should have died at 20…
Anna on May 29, 2008 at 9:09 AM

How did you make it to 20? You need to get a life! (heh)

ss396 on May 29, 2008 at 10:47 PM

BTW, a vegan diet often leads to higher levels of flatulence: e.g. methane. Is that figured into the carbon offset in foregoing meat?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A673508

http://www.unusualresearch.com/fart/fart.htm

ss396 on May 29, 2008 at 11:01 PM