Video: The 60-yard goal
posted at 11:34 am on May 27, 2008 by Allahpundit
A.k.a. “Man Hits Giant Unguarded Target With Ball.” Exhibit 6,428 in why I’ll never understand soccer’s appeal: Is this really some great shakes? Can’t most pro players (and even plenty of amateurs) hit an open net from far away? And yet, somehow, it’s a bona fide YouTube phenomenon, with 1.1 million views of this particular clip and literally nine other versions of it in the YT top 100.
What am I missing? Leg strength + basic accuracy + favorable wind conditions = a gimme, no? Is this just a byproduct of the collective European mancrush on Beckham?
Update: To put this in perspective, the net’s goalposts are 24 feet apart. NFL goalposts are 18 feet, six inches. He kicked a long field goal through a bigger target than football kickers have. On a hop.
Blowback
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I can’t believe this thread is hitting 200 comments.
Soccer fans have so much repressed rage. That’s why all the riots and stuff.
Well, that and they have to sit and watch soccer. Which would make anybody homicidal. Goooooooooooooooool!
Yellow card for me. I will now lie down and cry.
Professor Blather on May 27, 2008 at 5:01 PM
infidel, it isn’t a strawman when I point out that football players are FAST (that’s important).
I’m not a big fan of soccer, but I’m not putting it down like soccer fans have put down football all my life. They always say it’s boring because everyone runs for 5 seconds and falls down and then does it over again.
I appreciate soccer the same way I appreciate baseball – kind of boring, but I don’t put it down.
I was defending the athleticism of football players which really shouldn’t be questioned. Football players give their entire bodies to the sport. At the end of their careers, their bodies are destroyed. That doesn’t happen the same in any other sport other than maybe boxing.
Football players are the ultimate athletes in my opinion – pads, time outs, substitutions and whatever you want to say. I’m not putting down soccer, but lets not get delusional about the athleticism of the superfreaks in the NFL.
ThackerAgency on May 27, 2008 at 5:01 PM
Actually, the only thing boring about soccer is reading arguments like this.
KGB on May 27, 2008 at 5:04 PM
Professor Blather on May 27, 2008 at 4:58 PM
Your post contains many inacuracies and false assumptions.
My apologies for the negligent inclusion of in Thacker’s straw man beating. I am suprised you took such offense.
From the looks of your post I’d say you were the overexcitable one. Your use of invective certainly makes your point clearer. Although I am a bit concerned with your obsession over men wearing panties.
infidel2 on May 27, 2008 at 5:09 PM
This is a hilarious thread actually.
1) Don’t even start by comparing American football to anything else. Had a bud from Brighton stay for a bit and we watched football. Somewhere during the endless run of commercials he asked when the teams would actually get to play. Game was already in the middle of the second quarter.
Besides, compared to soccer, American football’s a cakewalk to play. How many athletes that grew up playing soccer could play football? Likewise, vice versa? They’d break ankles and tear knee ligaments before they even got on the field.
Baseball? Please. Kruk said it himself: “Lady, I’m not a professional athlete ok. I’m a ball player.
Basketball? Well, kinda close. Some coordination is required to dribble a basketball while finding open teammates & such. Bron Bron is probably the best example of an NBA player who actually would have a chance at making the change to playing soccer at the pro level- due both to his athleticism as well as his vision.
…You think Shaq could play center half?
I know Hakeem could. Cause he did. A number of other international B-ballers (Ilgauskas, Gasol, name it) grew up playing soccer first. It trained them to be able to move with their heads up and yielded the kind of footwork that NBA bigs don’t often have.
Tim Duncan, KG, plenty of others would look like little more than retarded geese on the pitch, falling all over themselves and getting nowhere fast.
Soccer’s the only sport in which one coaches as they play. Coaches as they move into open space. Coaches as they counter-attack.
Hockey… well hockey’s close. Just look how many NHL players grew up playing soccer before trading cleats in for skates.
Sorry, really, no comparison. Soccer’s the game the world plays, and every four years the world has a party. That party’s called the World Cup.
ChipDWood on May 27, 2008 at 5:11 PM
soccer = comments, its sad really.
infidel2 on May 27, 2008 at 5:11 PM
ThackerAgency on May 27, 2008 at 5:01 PM
I’ve never heard someone put down foodball (and you won’t hear any from me) like I have soccer, of course I grew up in the south where football is king. I have much respect for all the athletes. The game played naturally determines the type of athleticizm (sic) that is required.
infidel2 on May 27, 2008 at 5:14 PM
The main thing about soccer is that you must be in much better condition to play soccer than football and I have played both.
Johan Klaus on May 27, 2008 at 5:14 PM
But as has been pointed out, you have to be in the same condition to run a marathon – though you don’t have to be athletic.
Soccer players are well conditioned athletes. They do take hits in crosses and challenging for the ball. I actually like soccer. . . but we don’t play it right in America so we don’t get to see it played well. America needs a ‘superstar’. . . soccer isn’t a game fit for a ‘superstar’.
Soccer is more dependent on how the team moves around the ball than how athletic an individual is. I’d also bet that lots of basketball players including Tim Duncan would be pretty good at soccer too.
But as I said, we don’t play it right in America because we need a superstar ala Becks. But the game of soccer is about the team moving around the ball instead of a single player being a superior athlete. This highlight to start this thread shows it. . . it’s popular because it was done by ONE player. Soccer is about the team, not the individual – Americans don’t get that so we don’t play right.
ThackerAgency on May 27, 2008 at 5:22 PM
I have to say this.
I, conservativejack, play soccer and punch hippies. Try telling me I’m a girlie-man or a liberal, and I’ll punch through a hippie to hit you.
I’ll see you on the pitch
conservativejack on May 27, 2008 at 5:36 PM
When I was in high school I kicked a longer goal in a soccer game, the net wasn’t open, and it went into the upper left corner of the net right past the stunned goalie, none. None of this on a bounce stuff. I definitly had the wind with me. I think it is just because it is Beckham, one of the more highly overated players of all time.
Buford on May 27, 2008 at 5:53 PM
Give the guys some credit. In terms of athleticism, KG compares favorably to Hakeem, who was a fair soccer player. Duncan doesn’t get the credit he deserves for his athleticism, but you’ve got to respect his coordination. How many soccer players could kiss a ball off the top of the backboard and in on a quick turnaround? Duncan is one of the most skilled big men to ever play the game, and one of the smartest. Some of that would translate to soccer skill.
My impression is that soccer players are the best athletes in the world who aren’t also freaks of nature. Even more amazing are the guys like Allen Iverson, regular-sized dudes playing a giant’s game and dominating. I’d put AI against any soccer player in terms of skill, athleticism, and endurance.
RightOFLeft on May 27, 2008 at 6:01 PM
This is where you are caught in a lie…name me one soccer player that was or is a sub 11 sec 100meter dash, a sub 5 second 40yrd.
I can name dozens of football players that fast, now and in the past.
Can you name one olympic sprinter that went onto soccer, or soccer player that was an olympic sprinter. I can name a seveal olympians that play(ed) football. Ever hear of a guy named Bob Hayes? (now run and Google him).
right2bright on May 27, 2008 at 6:06 PM
Just for that post, PB will not be fighting for your freedom, you are on your own for two weeks…freedom detention.
After two weeks (14 days) you can reapply for freedom protection plus shipping and handling.
Application must be made on the back of your panties…
right2bright on May 27, 2008 at 6:12 PM
right2bright on May 27, 2008 at 6:06 PM
I was trying to google the fastest soccer players and I ran across a couple of rumors of guys running 10-11 second 100 meters. You’d think soccer teams would keep track of 100 yard times, considering how important speed is supposed to be for a soccer player.
RightOFLeft on May 27, 2008 at 6:13 PM
What emailnuevo forgot to say is that speed counts for nothing if you can’t keep the ball under control. Get the fastest football player you know of and put a soccer ball at his feet and i guarantee you he’d take 30 seconds to run 100 meters. At least.
PS: You’re going to have too trust me on this one, since i haven’t got a source for it, but there was this young Czech winger that clocked under 10.5 seconds in the 100 meter dash. And i’d be very surprised if Cristiano Ronaldo (for example) didn’t clock under 11 seconds as well.
madne0 on May 27, 2008 at 6:19 PM
right2bright on May 27, 2008 at 6:12 PM
huh, meh
I’ll fight for my own freedoms. If PB is a soldier, my thanks for his service. Either way, I’d keep shut about his (and apparently your) man panty obsession.
infidel2 on May 27, 2008 at 6:22 PM
soccer is a sport of culture in the rest of the world and a sport for the talentless in america. yes, you have to be in shape, but any real athlete with any real talent in america plays one of the real sports. anybody who likes to run around and kick a ball back and forth without much point plays soccer. in other countries, again, because it is so much a part of their culture, that is not as much the case. but still, all they do is kick a ball back and forth.
it is sad when you have a sport where people go crazy over a shot on goal. not an actual goal, mind you, but it is so rare to actually even have a real shot on the goal, that that is cause for an eruption. truly sad sport for people who congregate without the ability to throw a pass or shoot a ball or hit a pitch.
truecon on May 27, 2008 at 6:22 PM
Hard for you to find a football player that never played AYSO in the U.S.
You obviously, also, are one that have never been around elite athletes. Basketball, the conditioning is totally different, a sockher player would be gasping after a quarter of play. Used to watch that in college, when fun scrimmages between soccer and basketball. The fast sprinting and quick turns on the hardwood would destroy a soccer players ankles and knees, just the opposite of what you say. Try to keep up with a Div. 1 player.
I was a swimmer and water polo player, we could run all day with the sockher guys (before our workout we ran 3 miles), but five minutes in the pool and they were gasping for air.
Try wrestling, a sockher player wouldn’t be able to make it through a work out, let alone a match.
Wrestlers were the only ones that could physically keep up the endurance for a short time in the pool, all other “elite” athletes were shot after a few minutes.
You have a lot to learn about strength, endurance, stamina, and speed in other sports.
right2bright on May 27, 2008 at 6:27 PM
I only pay attention to the big events like the European and World Cup. I’m a huge fan. Italy is my team as I am half-Italian. I grew up playing soccer on some top teams. Since Italy won the World Cup Champions for the 4th time in 2006, Italians have bragging rights for another 2 years until the next World Cup in South Africa 2010. We are the Champions. Ahh, feeeeels goooood!!!
apacalyps on May 27, 2008 at 6:27 PM
We are the Champions. Feeeeels goooood!!!
Sorry. Had to say it again.
apacalyps on May 27, 2008 at 6:28 PM
This I agree with. Wrestlers are the most conditioned of all athletes, but it is boring to watch if you don’t know about it. I was a state champ in high school and wrestled for 7 years. It was only a 6 minute match with breaks at the 2 minute mark. . . but I assure you no soccer player would last a single period.
I don’t bring it up because people don’t understand wrestling and wrestlers get no respect. We ran 3 miles before practice my senior year and I dropped 15 pounds the day before my match every match of my senior year. That made me mean – so I usually won by making the other guy cry and scream in front of his mama and girlfriend (within the rules). I preferred hurting them to pinning them because that’s what my coach taught me to do. Pin them quick and it was a fluke to them and they wanted a rematch. Make them scream and hurt and they’d be scared of you the next time you might meet. Who wants some of me?
So yes, I agree, wrestlers are the real ultimate athlete, but it’s a sport nobody wants to watch because it is boring.
ThackerAgency on May 27, 2008 at 6:59 PM
Yup. As an overall player he is overrated. Cantona was better. But he is basically the best crosser of the ball in Assoc football (i.e. soccer) which makes him worth having on a team.
aengus on May 27, 2008 at 7:55 PM
It was Inter Milan, an Italian club, who came under fire for using the Cross of St. George on their away jersey and yes they kept it.
aengus on May 27, 2008 at 7:58 PM
Hahahaha!
aengus on May 27, 2008 at 8:00 PM
Soccer’s the game the Third world plays, and every four years the world has a
partyriot. Thatparty’sriot’s called the World Cup.There, fixed it for ya. ;)
I keed. I keed.
Redhead Infidel on May 27, 2008 at 8:41 PM
Seriously. AP will start having to tag these threads with his “red meat” graphic. ;)
Redhead Infidel on May 27, 2008 at 8:51 PM
Uh. Soccer sux.
Heh. heh.
Et tu Brute on May 27, 2008 at 8:58 PM
Mmmmm Posh.
- The Cat
MirCat on May 27, 2008 at 8:58 PM
Agreed.
aengus on May 27, 2008 at 10:04 PM
Soccer is a great game, it paid for 75% of my daughter’s education. I thought I was going to have to refinance my house until we found out the girl had mad skills.
The average soccer player will run 6 miles in a 90 minute game that stops once at half time and during player injuries. Fluid, fast, and fun. Basketball was my game, kind of like soccer, just not as long and not as much running.
Soccer won’t get respect in America until the men win a World Cup. The women have already won the World Cup at least twice, plus 2 gold medals and 1 silver in the Olympics. So for now, it’s a girl’s sport….
Hog Wild on May 27, 2008 at 11:00 PM
Football: twenty-two steroid-inflated multi-millionaire kids in funny clothes beating each other half to death in a building taxpayers bought for them.
Baseball: eighteen steroid-inflated multi-millionaire kids in funny clothes hitting a ball with a stick in a building taxpayers bought for them.
Soccer, Basketball, Hockey…you get the point. I’m not into sports.
jgapinoy on May 28, 2008 at 12:11 AM
I don’t think you’re taking offense, but nevertheless I didn’t say noone outside of the States watches NASCAR. Even our own family does, and a larger portion of Oz is now, thanks to Ambrose doing so well.
Nfi where you got the ‘calling you retarded’ bit from.
Although bonus points to the professor for making fun of soccer players clothes.. whilst trying to make a sport that requires you to wear tight spandex pants and bend over in front of your mates ‘manly’. Don’t think you’ll get much support for gridiron from the average rugby supporter either. Rugby league is probably the most similar variant of the game though, I suppose..
All that being said I still wouldn’t mind giving the game a go (because as many claim about soccer, perhaps it’s fun to play but boring to watch), if I could find somewhere on the Coast that actually plays it..
Reaps on May 28, 2008 at 1:04 AM
Cos on your earlier posting about NASCAR you mentioned me and then later went on to link to the picture with the quote about arguing on the internet and being retarded….it doesn’t matter I was only pretending to take offence for comedic effect. Which clearly fell flat then…
Anyway. That was a fun thread, all told.
schiehallion on May 28, 2008 at 1:31 AM
Why soccer is not teh ghey.
This is gay.
infidel2 on May 28, 2008 at 9:09 AM
Crap, I just got rickrolled.
Redhead Infidel on May 28, 2008 at 12:46 PM
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