Comments on: Video: Hillary flops as a comedian

By: Captain Scarlet

Captain Scarlet — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:22:27 +0000

My favorite Steven Wright joke: I had some instant water once, but I didn’t know what to add.

James on May 6, 2008 at 10:22 AM

That’s my favorite Steven Wright one-liner. One of my favorite Steven Wright story jokes is: “I went skiing the other day. I was on a chairlift with a complete stranger. About halfway up he says, ‘This is fun. I haven’t been skiing in years.’ I said, ‘Why do you wait so long?’ He said, ‘I was in prison. I once pushed a total stranger off of a Ferris Wheel.’ I said ‘I remember you.’”

By: Del Dolemonte

Del Dolemonte — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:14:19 +0000

“Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity…If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook,
you had to pull off a sweater real quick.” — Wright

By: mikeyboss

mikeyboss — Tue, 06 May 2008 21:15:07 +0000

Would have been a lot funnier and more appropriate if it had been “Top Ten things Hillary Clinton loves about Indiana.” That’s where she was, and it’s where Letterman is from. Could have been a great Ball State joke in there somewhere!

rockmom on May 6, 2008 at 12:40 PM

Yes. And don’t forget the ‘Schbags of West Lafayette.

By: Spolitics

Spolitics — Tue, 06 May 2008 19:50:05 +0000

Wow, those were bad jokes. You think Dave’s staff deliberately sandbagged her with those duds?

By: DrSteve

DrSteve — Tue, 06 May 2008 19:31:08 +0000

“I once had a dream that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate. I told my roommate about it and he said ‘Do I know you?’.”

–Steven Wright

By: bernzright777

bernzright777 — Tue, 06 May 2008 19:29:53 +0000

And maybe the entertainers will learn they are not politicians.

EJDolbow on May 6, 2008 at 10:45 AM

AMEN to that EJ!!

By: Buford Gooch

Buford Gooch — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:51:20 +0000

“My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head. I tell them to stay out of my yard or I’ll throw it at them.”

-Steven Wright

By: whitetop

whitetop — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:19:00 +0000

“My girlfriend called me a wimp. I got so mad I almost said something.”
SW

By: pilamaye

pilamaye — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:59:57 +0000

Frankly I have seen train wrecks with mass casualties that were funnier than her “performance”.

By: Tzetzes

Tzetzes — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:37:09 +0000

Comedy copper! Well, it wasn't that bad (and I liked the part about soup; yum!) but what I hate is the fact that politicians feel they have to do things at all. I hate seeing them debasing themselves before the electorate, and how rolling around in the mud to show they've got the common touch are de rigueur. I hate the backslapping, the waffle-eating, the baby-kissing, the hunting stories, the beer-drinking, the barbeque-attending and the references to American Idol or whatever other stupid pop culture whatsit du jour. But then again, I freely admit I'm a snob. I didn't like it when Coriolanus was forced to go out and pander for votes and I don't like it with our own politicians.

By: RightWinged

RightWinged — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:34:13 +0000

And Earl Scheib quit offering paint jobs at $29.95 sometime during the Reagan presidency. It’s now ten times that amount. Talk about being out of touch with the common man!

Haha, that explains why I didn’t get that one. I heard it and was like “Where!? Who will do this!?”

As for the… awkwardness(?) of the whole thing, it appears to me that Hillary’s segment was taped and she wasn’t actually “via satellite”. Anyone else get that feeling? Something just doesn’t really line up.

By: ToddonCapeCod

ToddonCapeCod — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:00:53 +0000

Holy crap, this had to have been the WORST Top Ten ever…. with the exception of #1, which makes my point!

By: MirCat

MirCat — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:59:43 +0000

Never let that woman say ‘car’ again.

- The Cat

By: jon1979

jon1979 — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:51:22 +0000

Hillary would probably feel a lot more comfortable going on Letterman and doing an impersonation of Morbo, the alien TV news anchor from Futurama. At least she could finally say what she really thinks that way…

By: rockmom

rockmom — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:40:56 +0000

Would have been a lot funnier and more appropriate if it had been “Top Ten things Hillary Clinton loves about Indiana.” That’s where she was, and it’s where Letterman is from. Could have been a great Ball State joke in there somewhere!

By: MNDavenotPC

MNDavenotPC — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:10:58 +0000

and I’m castigated within my family because I’m the only one who never thought Letterman funny? Sheesh!

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:55:08 +0000

Lawrence you forgot: wife, Mother, woman and human being.

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:54:10 +0000

Every so often I need to be reminded why I don’t watch Letterman, or the show with the wenches (Kathie Lee is one) who asked Rosie that question about Rev-rend Wright.

By: Lawrence

Lawrence — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:48:14 +0000

Hillary Flops…

… as a commic.
… as a politician.
… as a lawyer.
… {etc}

By: ncc770

ncc770 — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:39:38 +0000

“I bought some spot remover . . . my dog disappeared.”

I love Steven Wright.

By: John the Libertarian

John the Libertarian — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:34:16 +0000

Another Steven Wright classic:

What’s another word for… thesaurus?

By: kirkill

kirkill — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:32:23 +0000

“If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?”

By: Doug

Doug — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:31:10 +0000

The video isn’t working for me. Not a complaint, just an observation. Those of you reminiscing about Steven Wright owe it to yourselves to pick up his new CD, “I Still Have A Pony”.
He hasn’t lost anything on his metaphorical curve ball.

By: RMCS_USN

RMCS_USN — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:28:24 +0000

C’mon Ed, it’s Letterman. You seem to be taking this way too seriously. I can’t believe you expected anything other than what is in the vid clip.

By: i b squidly

i b squidly — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:16:37 +0000

There was a switch on the wall behind my couch. I’d flip it but it didn’t seem to do anything. Then I got a phone call from Germany. The guy said, “Stop that.” -steve wright

The guy that wore wingtips on the beach, Nixon did better with his ‘Sock it to Me’ gag on “Laugh In”. In ‘68 it was already $39.95 to get your windshield painted.