Paula Abdul: That first song you sang wasn’t as good as the one I hallucinated you singing
posted at 1:30 pm on April 30, 2008 by Allahpundit
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From last night’s “Idol.” I’ll spare you the RedLasso clip this time; skip ahead to 0:52 of this one for the key sequence. Theories abound: Does this prove the show’s scripted? Was Paula just having another one of those episodes of, um, “exhaustion” for which she’s famous, and which bear a remarkable resemblance to your humble correspondent’s condition every Friday/Saturday/Sunday night? Or is she really so much of a dolt that she got confused by (a) watching people sing, (b) taking notes, and (c) reading those notes aloud? Exit quotation: “This is hard!”
Update: Uh huh.
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Wasn’t that priceless?!
maverick muse on April 30, 2008 at 1:34 PM
This is why I watch Dancing With The Stars instead of this dreck.
Paula Abdul has got to be sniffing funny fumes.
pilamaye on April 30, 2008 at 1:35 PM
Paula shouldn’t drink.. However her prediction was correct..
Castro’s second song was horrible.. he put no effort into it >:D
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 1:35 PM
Fixed!!! Carly should have won but they didn’t want an idol covered with tatoos. They got rid of the girl that was a really good country singer too.
eski502 on April 30, 2008 at 1:35 PM
And they perform twice, so she had already heard the second song. When they play the clips at the end of the show those are recorded earlier in the day.
eski502 on April 30, 2008 at 1:36 PM
Remembering something that happened like 20 minuets ago? I saw it ( yeah, yeah) and I think she is just a space cadet that follows or goes against the leads of the guys on either side of her.
bbz123 on April 30, 2008 at 1:37 PM
Yeah, I saw this last night. She critiqued tow songs by Jason Castro, when he’d only sung one so far.
Granted, Paula is doing better this year than last year….but I swear she’s on something. Either booze, pills, or both.
JetBoy on April 30, 2008 at 1:37 PM
Paula was drunk or high, and often is. She’s part of why people watch that show, I think–to see if she’ll do stuff like this live. She’s done it before. One time earlier this season she stood up during the show and was swaying and stumbling so badly that Simon had to pull her down into her chair before she fell on her face. Is she an executive producer or something? Otherwise, I really can’t see why she hasn’t been fired yet.
aero on April 30, 2008 at 1:39 PM
I think David Archuletta’s rendition of Sweet Caroline unleashed one of those flesh eating deseases on Paula’s brain. Can’t we cane contestants for murdering American classic pop tunes like litte David did?
crashman on April 30, 2008 at 1:39 PM
Yeah, I liked Castro early on…but the lately he’s just not bringing it. I’d be very surprised if he gets through elimination.
I think it’s gonna be down to the two Davids….David Cook is awesome, as is David Archuleta, but Cook is more a performer.
JetBoy on April 30, 2008 at 1:40 PM
lol
carbon_footprint on April 30, 2008 at 1:41 PM
She just had her notes from the dress rehearal and read them too soon. She did call Syesha Brooke though.
By the way, Jason Castro absolutely sucks. Sanjaya may have been better….
eski502 on April 30, 2008 at 1:41 PM
All smacked up,and nowhere to go!
How about I’m a spacecowboy baby!
Elegantly wasted!
Comfortable numb!
Cat scratch fever,with less scratch!
and all of the above!Haha
canopfor on April 30, 2008 at 1:41 PM
I think you’re right, but I just can’t stand David A. He’s usually pitch-perfect, but for some reason every song he sings comes across like a cruise ship singer’s rendition to me. A really good cruise ship singer, but a cruise ship singer nonetheless. Every song sounds the same when he sings it. Blech.
David C. needs to win, or I’ll agree with others that the show is useless. This is the only season of AI I’ve ever watched (had surgery and was stuck watching TV for a couple of weeks during recovery and got sucked into the competition), so its outcome will determine if I ever watch again.
aero on April 30, 2008 at 1:44 PM
Never watched the show before but seeing the look Simon Cowell gave the other guy said everything ya need to know.
Like ordering dinner for a drunk date.
Which one do you like? Great she’ll have that.
moxie_neanderthal on April 30, 2008 at 1:44 PM
Paulagate exposes the fix that is in American Idol. Been suspecting this for a long time and she only confirmed it.
jencab on April 30, 2008 at 1:45 PM
Castro really upset me with that second song!
He really could have knocked that one out of the park, he was hitting the notes for a brief second then he wouldn’t hold the notes long enough or push them and had NO energy or enthusiasm behind it.. as if he was embarrassed..(and the stage presence was horrible with that stupid smile, what was that? was he trying to mock the song he was singing?)
Is this stage fright? how do you explain it? aggravating.
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 1:46 PM
I’ve haven’t watched any of the Idol seasons. After that clip I believe I made a wise choice.
Limerick on April 30, 2008 at 1:46 PM
Nope. The audience got rid of here because viewers finally got word that (1) Carly already had a recording contract with the same company Randy worked at the time, (2) the company spent $2 million on her “career”, (3) the record tanked with a total of around 400 (no typo), (4) Carly lied never meeting Mariah Carey before, (5) Carly lied never having had a chance, (6) Carly lied never being in a recording studio before.
Good riddance.
Niko on April 30, 2008 at 1:49 PM
crashman on April 30, 2008 at 1:50 PM
Paula was hilarious.
Jason had so much potential but he never seemed to reach outside his comfort zone. David A - the voice makes me want to shoot the TV. David C - should be the winner.
alilianstrom on April 30, 2008 at 1:51 PM
Our local Fox Idol ‘analyst’, a former contestant, is all about the conspiracy angle. Heck, she is always about the conspiracy angle. And, no matter how well David Cook does, she always puts him down for his arrogance.
David Cook should win, but this is now a popularity contest whose votes aren’t exactly verified by any organization, so I suppose it could be rigged.
But, why? What’s the point? As evidenced by Bucky Convington, Daughtry, and others, you don’t have to be an Idol winner to hit it big.
TexasDude on April 30, 2008 at 1:51 PM
Seriously. If Neil Diamond’s version had been as vapidly, boringly vanilla as Archuletta’s, no one would have been creeped out by the eventual news that it was about (then 11 year old) Caroline Kennedy.
Tanya on April 30, 2008 at 1:52 PM
Agreed. David A. just isn’t a performer like David C. And David A. is just a little too cute, too sweet, too shy….whereas David C. just has a stage presence and a great voice.
Brooke is very pretty, and likeable, but I think Sayesha is a little better.
At least there’s no Sanjaya in the mix this season. But If Castro doesn’t get the vote-off tonight, somethings up.
JetBoy on April 30, 2008 at 1:52 PM
It’s obvious that Neil Diamond lost last night..
lets hope that he himself gets a chance to sing tonight and redeem himself and his music.
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 1:55 PM
Are we allowed to use Paula’s last name ??
Or are we going to get scolded like when we use Barack’s middle name ?? Just wondering .
redrock on April 30, 2008 at 1:55 PM
It can’t be stage fright…the kid has been playing in front of audiences for some time. Castro’s rendition of “Hallelujia” was top-notch…He just seems like he’s getting tired of it all.
JetBoy on April 30, 2008 at 1:56 PM
American Idol is the reason I no longer believe in God.
Mike Honcho on April 30, 2008 at 1:59 PM
Inquiring minds want to know : Paula, what’s in the cup?
votefortheworst.com has an interesting perspective.
bloggless on April 30, 2008 at 2:00 PM
Still NOT as good as it SHOULD have been the kid is holding something back i’m telling you.. maybe it’s just a lack of creativity on his part? or a loss of will to fight.. no ideas.
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 2:02 PM
Ditto.
Good Lord, I would never, never expect to see this discussion on HA.
Allahpundit watches American freakin Idol?!?
Shocked, I say!
[full disclosure: I’ve seen every Top Chef. Ever.]
SouthernDem on April 30, 2008 at 2:02 PM
Seriously. If Neil Diamond’s version had been as vapidly, boringly vanilla as Archuletta’s, no one would have been creeped out by the eventual news that it was about (then 11 year old) Caroline Kennedy.
Tanya on April 30, 2008 at 1:52 PM
Great point….but I’m actually taking this subject seriously. Neil Diamond came from an era of professional songwriters who set the standard for American pop music. It’s children like David A. who reveal the devolving of the culture when he doesn’t understand the integrity of early pop music. He butchered the lyrics to a Beatles song for heaven’s sake!!
crashman on April 30, 2008 at 2:04 PM
No, Allahpundit has a long, long list of RSS subscriptions, spotted numerous stories about this, and knows easy content when he sees it.
The only show I watch regularly is Good Eats re-runs on the Food Network. Oh, and, er, the occasional Sex and the City re-run. Allegedly.
Allahpundit on April 30, 2008 at 2:04 PM
Who knew there were so many HA contributors that watched AI. WOW !
Like I watch it too and I like, like it.
But I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t a fix. My fav is Seyesha - consistant and a great voice. I loved Brooke’s “I am, I said”. She’s great when playing the grand piano and singing.
David Cook strains his voice too much which might make for a short career (I’m a musician and I know.). And Arch is sickening and Castro’s a waste. Just my opinion.
stenwin77 on April 30, 2008 at 2:04 PM
I watched most of the other American Idol seasons this year I have watched it on and off.. this one doesn’t seem that good, only 1 real performer and its obvious to everyone.
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 2:09 PM
I think her days on this show are numbered… I mean really, she’s been a train wreck for years and I think people are getting tired of her silliness. BTW, she is obviously on some sort of medication. (Legal or illegal)
Claypigeon on April 30, 2008 at 2:11 PM
I think Seyesha would do better as an actress.
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 2:11 PM
A lot of people like Jason C. for his extreme laid-backness. Perhaps he’s aware of that and thinks he’s being laid-back with these boring performances. Unfortunately, he got so laid back that he’s almost comatose on stage now.
aero on April 30, 2008 at 2:12 PM
If the judges’ comments were predetermined/fixed, they weren’t terribly off the mark. Except for Randy’s usual tongue-bath for David A. That, I don’t understand.
aero on April 30, 2008 at 2:16 PM
I haven’t watched all of the episodes of AI this year but every time I see it to me he’s the best one..
You will be listening to this on the radio, not watching it.
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 2:17 PM
Alton Brown, Anthony Bourdain and the Mythbusters guys make me miss cable.
Slublog on April 30, 2008 at 2:17 PM
SPOILER.
Niko on April 30, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Who watches this crap?
Jaibones on April 30, 2008 at 2:25 PM
She was on the radio here a few weeks ago, and she was perfectly lucid, and actually really sweet and charming, and surprisingly interesting. I’ve been in the anti-Paula camp for years, but now I don’t know what to think.
Tanya on April 30, 2008 at 2:27 PM
Give up on Robot Chicken? I found a few new episodes on my DVR a few weeks back.
Tanya on April 30, 2008 at 2:30 PM
Good point however her brief moments of lucidity are seldom seen or heard by the masses. Especially for those of us who only see her on Idol. I don’t know what to think either.
Claypigeon on April 30, 2008 at 2:31 PM
AI has seen its best days and they are just milking it for as long as they can now. I suppose it is called ‘jumping the shark’. But the ratings this season are down nearly 10 million viewers from last season. Granted they are still number one, granted they have 23-24 million teen and tween and pre-teen viewers. But last year it was 33-34 million. Dancing with the stars is catching up quickly and will likely overtake Idol in the number one spot by next season.
Neilsen numbers from last week.
ThackerAgency on April 30, 2008 at 2:33 PM
Me and my family, she admits sheepishly.
I know Paul is not a model of sobriety, but I do think it was an honest mistake last night and she misread her notes.
Buy Danish on April 30, 2008 at 2:33 PM
I can’t remember the last time I watched this show, but I stopped because it was getting too transparent. I don’t mean the conspiracy theories…although I think there’s a grain of truth that the show’s producers try to game the system for the people they want to win…but rather the clicheness of it all. It was interesting back in the first season, entertaining in the second, but after that it got progressively lamer.
I think the show lost its way somewhere along the line, which is kind of a bummer for talented singers who weren’t born into the right families.
JohnTant on April 30, 2008 at 2:34 PM
Why do you think they call it “Dope?”
Mike D. on April 30, 2008 at 2:37 PM
You took the words right out of my
moutkeyboard.Stop, people! Group dopeslap. Now!
whitetop on April 30, 2008 at 2:39 PM
Never seen a single episode. And Neil Diamond sucks like a hoover. “Coming to America” pretty well got me to stop listening to the radio for a couple of years because I couldn’t turn the dial fast enough when the stations would play it.
shudder
The early Diamond stuff isn’t as good as Tom Jones was, and Tom Jones wasn’t that great either.
funky chicken on April 30, 2008 at 2:39 PM
Not sure if rigged by the producers, but considering some of the shocking “vote” results we’ve been seeing, I think “manipulated” by the voters themselves is more accurate.
Look at how long Sanjaya lasted last year. He sucked and everybody knew it. But since a large demographic of the voters are the 18-25 yr old range, it comes as no surprise that many of them thought it was a like, totally cool, like to vote for like, the worst guy in the competition!!! LOL!!!
Like, wouldn’t that be like, so awesome?
Et tu Brute on April 30, 2008 at 2:40 PM
It is worth pointing out, since this is a political blog, that one possibly positive influence of AI is that it’s teaching kids about the dynamics of voting. For exampel, the best person doesn’t always win because people vote to “save” the underdog, or latch onto favorites early on and refuse to let go of them no matter how badly they screw up. The judges (i.e. the media) are biased and have already decided who should win before they even perform–and then try to influence the voters with their supposedly unbiased commentary. Performers who are good but approach the game differently often suffer for it (i.e. Jason C., who lacks “fire in the belly” but is clearly talented and would make good albums).
Perhaps a generation of Idol-crazy kids is learning that you have to vote for who you really want to win and not someone you’re trying to save from oblivion because you have some emotional attachment to them. Perhaps they’re learning that if they don’t bother to vote, they can’t complain when someone who doesn’t deserve to win takes the crown. Maybe.
All I know is, if America got a fraction as excited about voting for our country’s leaders as they get about voting for American Idol, we’d probably have better leaders. Maybe.
aero on April 30, 2008 at 2:43 PM
Her comments were taken out of context!
I enjoyed Good Eats until Alton went “global” its not corn anymore, its maize…WTF!
Robot Chicken is the bomb, check out Adultswim.com you can find all the episodes…
dmann on April 30, 2008 at 2:43 PM
It’s kind of obvious. American Idol has been one big turd this year, and Paula’s hallucinations are caused by all the Jenkum she’s been inhaling.
Jenkum = butt hash
Zorg on April 30, 2008 at 2:48 PM
Instead of using the primary system for selecting our next president, we should have the candidates square-off in an American Idol-ish talent competition, where the candidates get ripped by scowling critics for their terrible performances.
We can call it: Presidential Idol!!!
I know, pretty lame.
NEXT!
Et tu Brute on April 30, 2008 at 3:00 PM
It’s not that big a deal… Kevin at Wizbang got it right:
http://wizbangblog.com/content/2008/04/29/american-idol-top-5-week.php
———————–
Paula nearly threw the proceedings into total chaos as she started commenting on one of the contestant’s second songs after the first round of songs, even though Ryan announced repeatedly that they weren’t going to comment until both songs had been sung. Evidentially producers rightly noticed that the first five performances were so bad they required some quick comments.
How did Paula have notes on the second performance on a live show? Is she on drugs again? It’s sure to be the talk of the entertainment blogs tomorrow. There’s probably a easy answer that doesn’t involve drugs, but does involve the portions of the night not shown on TV. Paula was reading from her notes; notes she probably took during dress rehearsal where the performances are taped for release on iTunes and the end of show recaps. She really had already seen the second performance even though it had not been performed on the live show. That doesn’t mean she’s not on booze or pills, just that those probably aren’t the reason for the live screwup…
—————-
This type of thing has happened before just not as obvious.
Diogenes of Sinope on April 30, 2008 at 3:06 PM
An American Idol thread on HA? The threshold has finally been broken.
There was nary a peep on the power of the Internet keeping Sanjaya alive last year to the consternation of millions via votefortheworst.com.
It took a while for HA to warm up to The View. This should be fun.
Valiant on April 30, 2008 at 3:08 PM
Ack, gag. Ok, AP could have put the Time’s 100 Most Influential People headline for us to comment on instead. Sheesh. GW Bush #158! I guess he doesn’t have much influence on the price of gas after all!
kirkill on April 30, 2008 at 3:20 PM
Praise the Lord!
I can’t believe I’m making alternative suggestions here but don’t you suppose that the “judges” already pretty much know how the performances are going to go? After all, they always mention how the live show performance matched up with what they heard in rehearsal. That doesn’t mean the show is scripted. I do think however that the producers have their ways to make sure the right demographics make it all the way and dancers at gay bars get booted before cute but talentless blondes.
highhopes on April 30, 2008 at 3:24 PM
How would you know Zorg?
kirkill on April 30, 2008 at 3:25 PM
Oh lord,AllahPundit me thinks there’s a mutiny
a brewing,watch your 6 o’clock!
Me thinks its a strain of BDS,that seems to be
from Wright and Obama,me thinks the crew is
near the breaking point! Hahaha.
canopfor on April 30, 2008 at 3:36 PM
I heard they fixed it to get rid of Kirsty Lee Cooke a few weeks ago because pictures came out of her with a Confederate Flag.
Why is that so bad?
I’m going to listen to Skynyrd damn it.
eski502 on April 30, 2008 at 3:45 PM
Where do Black people come up with these freekin’ names?
Saeesha, Loreal, Deshawn, Oshawn, Beshawn, Eczema, Douchescahntel,
Must look great on resumes.
Hening on April 30, 2008 at 3:47 PM
I was looking for a reason to explore these comments, as I don’t watch AI, and I’m glad I followed until the end; “Praise the Lord” indeed!
emailnuevo on April 30, 2008 at 4:09 PM
Definitely very funny. I doubt the show is scripted, but it’s definitely orchestrated in ways that ensure that certain individuals make it further than others. For instance, I cannot remember exactly where I read it, but something like 75% of the people who sing first end up going home.
jasnell on April 30, 2008 at 4:20 PM
I got these name “confused” like I said I haven’t watch AI this much this year, I was really referring to David C. NOT Jason C. as being the best..(I was kind of wondering how you , could consider David Cook to be laid back.. ) LOL
Chakra Hammer on April 30, 2008 at 4:53 PM
dude… she’s wasted
TheCulturalist on April 30, 2008 at 7:15 PM
Cook is a man among boys and should win this competition hands down. He is easily the most talented person on the stage. However, it wouldn’t surprise me to see a “cuter” contestant chosen, since a large number of the voters are 13 year old girls.
packsoldier on April 30, 2008 at 7:26 PM
Finally, a post that I don’t have to rip my hair out agozining over.
Big John on April 30, 2008 at 8:28 PM
I’ve suspeted it for years and know now it’s true: Paula’s been spiking her Coke!
Capitana on April 30, 2008 at 10:35 PM
David Cook looks like a pile of dirty laundry. He appears to need a lengthy bath and has for quite some time now. I’d love to know who told him the disheveled greasy hair thing looks GOOD! I cant get past these things to even listen to his voice. I tried, i really did, but i hear nothing but a grinding, growling, chest pounding boy singer of the day…which is shit. Then again, im 45 years old. This is the worst American Idol I’ve seen (hey, i gotta watch, i have 2 daughters). Then again, the first season did produce the makeup train wreck, too fat of a slob girl to wear a sling shot panty stick’in out of her fat ass packed blue jeans, screaming little brat of a girl who also cant “sing” without screaming- Kelly Clarkson…ugh…don’t get me started on HER.
HunnyWaggin on May 1, 2008 at 6:18 AM