Video: Honey, did you hear a noise in the kitchen?
posted at 12:16 pm on April 23, 2008 by Allahpundit
Explain to me again the benefits of living in Florida. Proximity to Disneyworld: Got it. Besides that, I mean. Hurricanes, 98-degree weather with 98% humidity, cockroaches the size of a human fist, the occasional eight-foot gator in the kitchen — what is it that makes it all worth it? Is it the possibility of casting the tiebreaking vote in a U.S. presidential election? Even I’m not that much of a political junkie.
Listen to it hiss. Dude.
Blowback
Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.
Trackbacks/Pings
Trackback URL
Comments
Girls in bikinis at the beach. Very small bikinis.
The best news stories -always- come from Florida. Without us, where else would you get news from trailer parks? What other state gets its own little icon on Fark?
lorien1973 on April 23, 2008 at 12:20 PM
I heard the 911 call last night on the radio. I was crying laughing as the 911 operator kept saying “are you sure it’s not an iguana?”
Mr. Bingley on April 23, 2008 at 12:21 PM
I’m sorry. All I saw in that video was a new pair of shoes and maybe a bag.
KelliD on April 23, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Mmmmm Taste like chicken.(actually pork)
abinitioadinfinitum on April 23, 2008 at 12:22 PM
Uh oh. Wait for PETA’s response. Wait a minute…..forget it. They are not cute and cuddly. They are tasty when beer battered and deep fried.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 23, 2008 at 12:22 PM
What does an 8’8″ gator eat when it’s in your kitchen??? ANYTHING they want!!!!
pueblo1032 on April 23, 2008 at 12:22 PM
“There’s your cowboy boots.”
BadgerHawk on April 23, 2008 at 12:23 PM
Why live in Florida? Because it’s paradise. I’ve never had gator invasions or anything – though I’ve seen them lurking in some areas.
The 911 caller is priceless. “You sure it wasn’t an iguana…or a really large…?”
emailnuevo on April 23, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Yeah, but I’m sure they drink plenty of GATORade.
Thanks, folks. I’ll be here all week and try the veal….
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 23, 2008 at 12:25 PM
That dude’s a wuss. Jump on its back and wrastle that sucker.
We catch these things all the time in Louisiana.
darclon on April 23, 2008 at 12:26 PM
I had a snake crawl into my toilet once. Up through the septic tank. Suffice it to say, now I always check before I sit down :P
lorien1973 on April 23, 2008 at 12:26 PM
I meant to put “like the more swampy areas.” I feel like the sentence I wrote implies that gators are lurking in alleyways and behind dumpsters, like thugs or something.
emailnuevo on April 23, 2008 at 12:26 PM
Did any check the status of that gator? Was she one of the undocumented gators that are always so problematic?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 23, 2008 at 12:28 PM
haha! Nothing like playin’ bronco with an 8 foot lady gator in heat.
John from OPFOR on April 23, 2008 at 12:34 PM
Destroy it? Is that necessary? Just take the damn thing to a gator preserve or something.
Optimus Prime on April 23, 2008 at 12:38 PM
Great place if you’re a serious angler. That’s about it though. I once saw a huge gator cross the street at a crosswalk and a bunch of idiot motorists left the safety of their cars to get a closer look. Till it did a complete 180 in a split second with jaws wide open. Hahah, great fun to watch the scatterbrained scatter.
scalleywag on April 23, 2008 at 12:40 PM
I’m allergic to theme parks of all kinds, so there will be no reason for me to go to Florida, in this lifetime.
Veira: …Did, did your eyes…lock?
I would have said, ‘Yes and it was love at first sight’.
I don’t like Meredith but Katie is worse…
Christine on April 23, 2008 at 12:41 PM
Really? An alligator in your kitchen is enough to get a flight to NY to be on the Today show?
I stopped watching the Today Show for good after I saw them interviewing OBL’s son.
jimmy the notable on April 23, 2008 at 12:42 PM
You haven’t lived until you walked the game path around a glory hole. It’s enough to humble Duke Nukem.
Limerick on April 23, 2008 at 12:47 PM
I can’t imagine living anywhere else – I’ve been here since I was 8 (I’m 40 now) and my hubby is a 4th generation native (making my kids 5th generation). The humidity is more often 100% – and no, that’s not necessarily raining… go figure. I love the heat AND the humidity. I’ve been keeping my doors & windows open for months already this year and can wear tank tops all year ’round, although sometimes with a sweater over them. Don’t really care much about Disney – two of my kids have never even been and don’t really care to go; we’d rather drive north about an hour & 1/2 to go to Wild Adventures in GA, it’s cheaper and much more fun.
About that gator… my 12 year old son says they’re delicious.
;-)
Pachyderm on April 23, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Not a plus at all.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on April 23, 2008 at 12:53 PM
Here in Louisiana, what would you call a 9′ alligator in your kitchen?
Dinner.
The cajun motto: “If it moves shoot it. And if you can shoot it you can eat it.”
2klbofun on April 23, 2008 at 12:53 PM
Great video and story but the enterview was just asinine.
TheSitRep on April 23, 2008 at 12:54 PM
I can shoot poop. Do you eat poop?
Zetterson on April 23, 2008 at 1:03 PM
If it’s moving you have bigger problems then gators.
Limerick on April 23, 2008 at 1:05 PM
For me, it’s the tax burden (no sales tax, and a recently passed property tax reform that allows for portability).
There’s enough NY transplants down here that I can find a decent dirty water hot dog just about anywhere.
Kid from Brooklyn on April 23, 2008 at 1:07 PM
The video crew: “Hey, drag it the lo-o-o-ng way through the house. We want to get video of it smashing stuff up”
eeyore on April 23, 2008 at 1:08 PM
this is why i dont own cats
custer on April 23, 2008 at 1:10 PM
Took my wife sailing on our boat this weekend, anchored off of a subtropical island that can’t be accessed by car, enjoyed a cookout on shore, spent the night on the boat with a nice, steady breeze coming through the hatch. Sipped a glass of wine while soaking in my backyard spa, last night, under the stars. Sitting at my office window as I type this with a view of the blue-green waters of Biscayne Bay and out to the Gulf Stream.
But yeah, other than that, Miami is hell.
SWLiP on April 23, 2008 at 1:14 PM
Oh, yeah, don’t forget those Miami girls who dress so nicely. I can’t even begin to describe it.
SWLiP on April 23, 2008 at 1:19 PM
If there is water, there are alligators. I’ve seen big ones in retention ponds in the middle of office parks up here in Jacksonville.
tlynch001 on April 23, 2008 at 1:20 PM
It’s unnatural. And if you want a better idea of how they look, just go out to the beach where they’re just wearing their bottoms.
Gotta get the North Florida girls on board with that.
tlynch001 on April 23, 2008 at 1:22 PM
Thank you, lorein. So. Much.
JohnW on April 23, 2008 at 1:29 PM
Was in a campground when I was a kid and went to the campground restroom. Luckily I saw the spider legs protruding from the lip of the toilet before I sat down… it was bigger around than a Coke can. I’ve always checked before I sit, ever since.
Maxx on April 23, 2008 at 1:36 PM
Holy crap. I would’ve soiled my armor if that was me. Obviously we don’t have big reptiles that could eat a human in N.E.
As for Fla? I have family near Orlando and have done work down there myself. The heat. The freakin’ HEAT! I’m cold blooded so the heat just kills me but I guess if you can adjust to it, you’re all set. My cousin, who was born there says he’ll never adjust to it.
And thank you Lorien, I’ll check my toilet every time I use it now.
Geronimo on April 23, 2008 at 1:41 PM
Celebs and people with large bank accounts live in FL because the state has a law that allows a person to retain all assets obtained prior to their marriage to their spouse, basically no 50/50 split on divorce of ALL assets either spouse accumulated before marriage.
Is it any wonder Rush Limbaugh lives in Florida, having been married and then divorced so many times?
Neo on April 23, 2008 at 1:41 PM
Forget about what bears do in the woods…
Hiking Florida
With the sunlight and shadows you just can’t see them until you are on them.
Limerick on April 23, 2008 at 1:41 PM
“How long is the aligator? Are you sure its not an iguana..”
Ah, public servants FTW!
Neo on April 23, 2008 at 1:43 PM
Is/was this you?
After the movie Jaws came out, I checked the toilet every time before sitting down.
Shy Guy on April 23, 2008 at 1:44 PM
What you said and this video reminds me of a video that use to be available in most video stores….. called “Faces of Death.” I don’t recommend the video unless you have a strong stomach.
There was a scene where a Wildlife and Game official was called to get a large alligator out of a pond. The owner of the property thought it would be fun to video tape the Wildlife guy capture the gator. The official used a small flatboat to go out into the pond to get a noose on the gater. I won’t go into the details, but it cost him his life and it was actual footage.
Maxx on April 23, 2008 at 1:49 PM
Jump on its back and wrastle that sucker.
“Here, hold mah beer ‘n watch this!”
mojo on April 23, 2008 at 2:00 PM
Looking at the still picture, is that a dog collar in the back ground? Hmmmm ….
bcre8v on April 23, 2008 at 2:01 PM
Before anyone rushes around trying to find Faces of Death, you might want to read this review.
RushBaby on April 23, 2008 at 2:02 PM
The biggest one I ever cought was 11’6″ on a rotten chicken half hung 5 feet out of the water so the little ones couldn’t get to the bait. I retrieved him in a 14′ john boat, and it scared the $hit out of us getting him in the boat. After a 12 guage shot right in the brain pan, he still wiggled for a half hour after he was dead.
We had to get into the 4′ deep weed choked water in order to get him started in the boat. Once he started sliding in, all hands jumped out. But, because we were in a gator rich bog, we got back in the boat fairly quickly.
After that, I quit applying for gator permits and haven’t been gator hunting sence. Many boots, belts, purses, and wallets. It cost me a fortune.
saiga on April 23, 2008 at 2:02 PM
Big gator is biiiiiiggggggg!
mram on April 23, 2008 at 2:07 PM
Obama would have screamed like a little girl, whined, and called the gator a racist. Then he would have said, “cant I finish my waffle”.
Hillary would have told the lady that she (Hill) once wrastled a gator in the middle of a hurricane.
faraway on April 23, 2008 at 2:07 PM
RushBaby on April 23, 2008 at 2:02 PM
I looked at that and did not see the scene described I was talking about. But I remember there was a part 1 and a part 2 of the movie…
Yeah… it’s not for the kids.
Maxx on April 23, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Hillary would have order the maid to get the gator out.
Maxx on April 23, 2008 at 2:15 PM
Last year they found a 12ft snake a block away from my house and my husband doesn’t understand why I won’t let him put in a doggie door for my yorkie!
Bicyea on April 23, 2008 at 2:26 PM
DUDE
blatantblue on April 23, 2008 at 2:32 PM
GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!
peacenprosperity on April 23, 2008 at 2:33 PM
Another UF grad here :-).
As a 5th generation Floridian I love stories like this. The scary news keeps people unaware of the natural beauties and wonders of Florida: the springs and rivers and live oaks and gently rolling hills.
Anything to stop the huge influx of transplants and rapacious developers who have built on top of swamps (hey, you know there might be a good reason that gator ended up in her kitchen)! I even remember Orlando and central Florida before Disney and the Villages and IMHO it’s not been an improvement. There’s been a loss of sense of community spirit because Florida gets treated as a resort to go to golf and die, rather than a place to build a life.
Before the invention of air conditioning, the wealthy had winter homes and would then leave and go back north in the summer. Now they come down, build a huge box on a small piece of land and stay indoors.
Florida is a place of wetlands and lightning. That means we have gators and snakes and brushfires. We also get hurricanes. The old style beach house was a more modest plain home, not the high rise condominiums of today.
I’m not a ecohysteric, but there needs to be some common sense about the land you live on.
INC on April 23, 2008 at 2:35 PM
Disney World, close to the ports so you don’t have to travel to get to your cruise, daily rainshowers, and Kennedy Space Center.
Those are all the benefits of living in Florida. Everything else sucks. I couldn’t get away fast enough.
sarahk on April 23, 2008 at 2:57 PM
From the Executive Summary right at the top:
scroll to 0:29:50 for debunking the details of the alligator scene:
RushBaby on April 23, 2008 at 3:20 PM
Haha, “there’s your cowboy boots.” Eat it, PETA.
You know a state has a gator problem when the 911 operator screens the calls based on the footage of the beast.
Grafted on April 23, 2008 at 3:20 PM
Girls in bikinis at the beach. Very small bikinis.
Dude. We’ll do you one better. Hot dog vendors on the side of the road in very small bikinis. We’ve had car wrecks occur because someone got…ummm…distracted and smacked someone’s rear end.
As it where…
I R A Darth Aggie on April 23, 2008 at 3:45 PM
We have a wonderful assortment of deadly wildlife here in Florida. You get used to it a bit.
bj1126 on April 23, 2008 at 3:46 PM
Florida, where even the inmates are hot.
clghitis on April 23, 2008 at 3:53 PM
…holy crap. I have no words.
flyawaybird on April 23, 2008 at 4:37 PM
I love it! If you cannot hang with the big Gators, and that was a medium-sized gator, stay out of the Swamp!
Some other great things about Florida, watching the Mighty Gators play in Gainesville, and watching Yankees freak out when they see an alligator!
Gatordoug on April 23, 2008 at 6:23 PM
Smug and smuger.
Fixed for you jtn :)
Entelechy on April 23, 2008 at 6:30 PM
DAYUM! Beat me to it!
lsutiger on April 23, 2008 at 7:09 PM
Blue sky, blue surf.. blue rinsers?
Reaps on April 23, 2008 at 7:56 PM
First you say it, then you do it!
bikermailman on April 23, 2008 at 8:29 PM
Next thing you know, alligators will be crawling into Florida voting booths. And they’ll probably accidentally cast their ballot for Pat Buchanan.
radjah shelduck on April 23, 2008 at 9:31 PM
Yeah, and you guys eat things I spray raid on too..so? Just kidding man…love the food. Just can’t pass up a good straight line.
austinnelly on April 23, 2008 at 9:59 PM
“‘Cause I was lookin’ for love
In all the wrong places
Lookin’ for love in too many faces
Searchin’ their eyes, lookin’ for traces
Of what I’m dreamin’ of
Hopin’ to find a friend and a lover
I’ll bless the day I discover
Another heart lookin’ for love”
– The Alligator’s Lament…
cthulhu on April 24, 2008 at 12:37 AM
I imagine the cat will be in therapy for a while.
Mr. Wednesday Night on April 24, 2008 at 1:51 AM
It was like 15 years ago that I watched this, so no doubt my memory has fogged. But that description is not what I saw. There were no crowd reaction shots in the scene. There was no crowd, just one woman with a video camera and the guy that got ate is my recollection. Or could I have been on my sixth beer at the time…. it’s a mystery.
Maxx on April 24, 2008 at 2:12 AM
Living in Florida is never dull.
badger on April 24, 2008 at 4:39 AM