Happy Anniversary, John Kerry!
posted at 2:00 pm on April 14, 2008 by Ed Morrissey
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I don’t want new visitors to think that we here at Hot Air operate out of the Barack Obama-diagnosed small-town bitterness and xenophobia. We like to treat our political opponents as human beings and wish them well. In fact, we have an anniversary to celebrate with Senator John Kerry, and I know Hot Air readers will want to join in:
Let’s remember that Democrats controlled the Senate from 1999-2002, with the White House in 1999-2000, and again controlled the Senate from 2007-present. So what’s Kerry been doing? Hopefully, a lot of retirement planning. (via The Corner)
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Dark clouds; silver linings.
davidk on April 14, 2008 at 2:03 PM
Happy Anniversary Francoise.
Zorro on April 14, 2008 at 2:04 PM
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pilamaye on April 14, 2008 at 2:05 PM
He served in Vietnam, you know.
loganthompson on April 14, 2008 at 2:05 PM
Thats because he keeps voting for it before he votes against it. Too funny.
meci on April 14, 2008 at 2:06 PM
Hate crime!
Ares on April 14, 2008 at 2:06 PM
Happy anniversary to the Senator from Easter Island.
Lunkinator on April 14, 2008 at 2:07 PM
Gee Senator, why the long face?
Brat on April 14, 2008 at 2:07 PM
Ya don’t say! (crawls back under rock)
dmh0667 on April 14, 2008 at 2:07 PM
The only anniversary I’ll celebrate for American Gigolo, Kept Man, Treasonous Coward John F. (Kohn) Kerry will be the first of his many years in Ft. Leavenworth for giving aid and comfort to the North Vietnamese during a time of war.
SeniorD on April 14, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Pfffffffffff
Indy Conservative on April 14, 2008 at 2:12 PM
He’s haught.
Entelechy on April 14, 2008 at 2:12 PM
The Purple Heart, he won it thrice! Ahh, best JibJab ever.
JetBoy on April 14, 2008 at 2:13 PM
Well said, SeniorD!
Not only that – but John F’ing Kerry was a reserve naval officer while
testifyinglying before congress.That’s got to be in the UCMJ somewhere…
Corky on April 14, 2008 at 2:13 PM
Dammit, Nixon sent him to Cambodia! Remember? Before Nixon was in the Oval office.
Heavy sigh. You HA people.
;O)
OhEssYouCowboys on April 14, 2008 at 2:13 PM
I can’t tell if you could tell I was joking. I was “pulling a Rush” by mentioning that, because it’s all Senator Ketchup ever talked about :)
Ha! Amen.
loganthompson on April 14, 2008 at 2:15 PM
Touche, salesman.
/Family Guy
loganthompson on April 14, 2008 at 2:16 PM
As for me, I always wanted the North Vietnamese to play an audiotape of mine, in the Hanoi Hilton.
OhEssYouCowboys on April 14, 2008 at 2:16 PM
I don’t think that’s true. They pulled to a 50/50 tie in the 2000 election, but VP Cheney had the tie-breaking vote. They didn’t take control until Spring 2001 when the jerk from Vermont flipped.
BuzzCrutcher on April 14, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Excuse me. I got to go get me a huntin’ license.
MarkoMancuso on April 14, 2008 at 2:22 PM
Keep up the good work, Jenjis…
Rick on April 14, 2008 at 2:26 PM
And Marilyn Monroe sings….Happy anniversary Mr. Almost President, happy anniversary to you…Loser
soulsirkus on April 14, 2008 at 2:26 PM
Maybe the republicans should focus on seats they have a chance of winning? Maybe? Just maybe?
Cute. But pointless.
lorien1973 on April 14, 2008 at 2:31 PM
Also on my shopping list:
“A suitcase of hate and a bottle of despair, granny’s 12-gauge and a thousand-yard stare!”
forest on April 14, 2008 at 2:31 PM
Retirement planning? Surely you jest. His 2nd wife’s first husband’s trust fund will take care of that.
BrianBoru on April 14, 2008 at 2:33 PM
TA-DA-BOOM…CRASH!
TA-DA-BOOM…CRASH!
All funny! Good work, Hot Airians.
whitetop on April 14, 2008 at 2:34 PM
retirement party? hell no.. he’s going hang in there for as long as Byrd did..
in the off chance he did retire, he is going to party like Genghis Khan after a bender of sake’..
DaveC on April 14, 2008 at 2:37 PM
I’ll be voting for Kerry’s opponent on Nov 4. Watch out for low-flying helicopters, Johnny.
fluffy on April 14, 2008 at 2:39 PM
“The Senator Formerly Known as Prince John.” I always thought of him as Mr. Teresa Heinz Kerry, the house husband, who lives off a dead Repub’s money.
Christine on April 14, 2008 at 2:40 PM
The fact that this loser could be the Dems candidate on the last go round says all any sane person should need to know about the democratic party. This years candidates are even worse (if that is possible) which should convince anyone.
duff65 on April 14, 2008 at 2:42 PM
A candle for this anniversary is in a Heinz ketchup bottle to celebrate.
L
letget on April 14, 2008 at 2:43 PM
Brief true story on the other MA senator. I’m from Michigan and was vacationing in Vegas a few years ago. While standing in line to cash in a winner, I was behind two fellas from Boston, one wearing a Tom Brady jersey. I said, how do you like Brady? He played his college ball at U-Michigan. The two drunken Beantowners were all over me with gratitude, then one said, what can the people of Mass do for you? I said, quit voting for Ted Kennedy, to which the reply was, “Nah, we can’t do that, we vote for Teddy to keep him off the streets.”
swami on April 14, 2008 at 2:44 PM
Well, he was a co-sponser of a sh*t-load of bills during that time.
I don’t know, this just smacks of “gotcha” politics. As kind of point out, Ed, much of this time republicans controlled both the house and the senate.
Before giving this weight, I’d like to know a little more about the average number of bills senators write and have passed during a term… and how much being in the minority affects that. don’t have time to research it now, but will.
But, by all means, have “fun” bashing Kerry.
Tom_Shipley on April 14, 2008 at 2:50 PM
John Kerry stole my stapler. And I haven’t gotten a paycheck now, and I talked to Human Resources, and they said talk to John Kerry, so I talked to him and he said talk to Human Resources. Oh.. but.. but.. but I..
Ok. I’m going to burn the building down.
/Milton
Nethicus on April 14, 2008 at 2:52 PM
He had a plan ya know…
Wade on April 14, 2008 at 2:59 PM
John Kerry’s not so secret any longer MySpace entry:
Hi there fellow bloggers. My name is United States Senator John Forbes Kerry from the great state of Massachusetts. You can call me JFK if you want. I was born on December 11, 1943, although people tell me that I look at least 20 years younger. It’s probably my great hair and rugged good looks.
I graduated from Yale in June 1966 in the top 1% of my class. To earn extra money during the summers, I loaded trucks in a grocery warehouse and sold encyclopedias door to door. That is probably one of the reasons that I am so humble. Over my four years at Yale, I maintained a 96 grade average and received a 101 average in my senior year.
I am one of the most senior members of that grand and much loved and respected institution known as the U.S. Senate. Probably the only living Senator even a little bit greater than me is my dear friend Ted Moore Kennedy. I also have a very high IQ. Very high. At least 250 on a bad day. Much higher than that creep who stole the election from me. I know that he stole it because exit polls are never ever wrong.
I am also a great war hero. I set all kinds of records for heroism when I was in Vietnam. I was grievously wounded at least three times yet continued to insist on staying in the fight when lesser men would have given up. I won the bronze star with extra V’s for extra valor and the Silver Star for defeating a whole battalion of NVA with my bare hands.
Sometimes I feel like a had to carry all the water for those other ungrateful swiftboaters.
I sometimes like to chill out after a long day of serving the American people by having a double martini with my good friend Ted. We usually have a servant bring 21 double martinis. I get one and Ted gets one for each of his fingers and each of his toes. Contrary to what some of my very few enemies say I never marry women for just their money. They must also have a pulse. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam? I was also in Cambodia, so don’t forget that!
I would like to think that I am open minded, honest, polite, heroic and trustworthy. And I appreciate the same qualities in others although I am realistic enough to know that no one else could come close to me.
Turn offs: other politicians who spend more on haircuts than I do. That is just not right.
Who I’d like to meet:
…other progressive bloggers. Other great war heroes who hate that damn S-T-U-P-I-D Texan in the White House and those lying sons of bitcher swiftboat bastardos whose pants are on fire! Cool people who live close to Washington D.C. so that we can get together, talk about you for about 30 seconds and then spend about 9 hours talking about me. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam and Cambodia? Just one more BTW, if anyone has found my magic hat please return to me.
MB4 on April 14, 2008 at 3:04 PM
Which was seared – SEARED – into his memory, you know ;O)
Bigfoot on April 14, 2008 at 3:06 PM
John Kerry’s not so secret any longer MySpace entry:
Hi there fellow bloggers. My name is United States Senator John Forbes Kerry from the great state of Massachusetts. You can call me JFK if you want. I was born on December 11, 1943, although people tell me that I look at least 20 years younger. It’s probably my great hair and rugged good looks.
I graduated from Yale in June 1966 in the top 1% of my class. To earn extra money during the summers, I loaded trucks in a grocery warehouse and sold encyclopedias door to door. That is probably one of the reasons that I am so humble. Over my four years at Yale, I maintained a 96 grade average and received a 101 average in my senior year.
I am one of the most senior members of that grand and much loved and respected institution known as the U.S. Senate. Probably the only living Senator even a little bit greater than me is my dear friend Ted Moore Kennedy. I also have a very high IQ. Very high. At least 250 on a bad day. Much higher than that creep who stole the election from me. I know that he stole it because exit polls are never ever wrong.
I am also a great war hero. I set all kinds of records for heroism when I was in Vietnam. I was grievously wounded at least three times yet continued to insist on staying in the fight when lesser men would have given up. I won the bronze star with extra V’s for extra valor and the Silver Star for defeating a whole battalion of NVA with my bare hands.
Sometimes I feel like a had to carry all the water for those other ungrateful swiftboaters.
I sometimes like to chill out after a long day of serving the American people by having a double martini with my good friend Ted. We usually have a servant bring 21 double martinis. I get one and Ted gets one for each of his fingers and each of his toes. Contrary to what some of my very few enemies say I never marry women for just their money. They must also have a pulse. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam? I was also in Cambodia, so don’t forget that!
I would like to think that I am open minded, honest, polite, heroic and trustworthy. And I appreciate the same qualities in others although I am realistic enough to know that no one else could come close to me.
Turn offs: other politicians who spend more on haircuts than I do. That is just not right.
Who I’d like to meet:
…other progressive bloggers. Other great war heroes who hate that damn S-T-U-P-I-D Texan in the White House and those lying sons of #itcher swiftboat #astardos whose pants are on fire! Cool people who live close to Washington D.C. so that we can get together, talk about you for about 30 seconds and then spend about 9 hours talking about me. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam and Cambodia? Just one more BTW, if anyone has found my magic hat please return to me.
MB4 on April 14, 2008 at 3:08 PM
Tom Ship, please allow me…
bloggless on April 14, 2008 at 3:17 PM
So that’s how you spell it out…
Wow, I should really get some work done. Blasted HA and its bringing of fun and good cheer..
loganthompson on April 14, 2008 at 3:27 PM
Just another Dem John.
Only in America could such an empty man achieve so many empty achievements.
Randy
williars on April 14, 2008 at 3:32 PM
Frankly, I would pay all of them to stay home and not do anything for about 10 years. That way we could have a government that doesn’t waste our tax dollars on stupid project that they feel compelled to enact because they think they need to do something. Less government, less laws, less taxes please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
flytier on April 14, 2008 at 3:32 PM
The junior senator from Kennedyshire.
You can thank the twits in Massachusetts that just keep electing him along with Duke Teddy. I have a hard time blaming this traitorous imbosol for being a senator. His own wife needed a prenuptial, but the Bean State just keeps electing him every time.
Hening on April 14, 2008 at 3:35 PM
LOL! Co sponsor of a sh*t-load of bills”, Gracie?
According to his wiki entry, and I quote:
“During his Senate career, Kerry has sponsored or cosponsored dozens of bills. Some of his notable bills have addressed small business concerns, education, terrorism, veterans’ and POW-MIA issues, marine resource protection and other topics. Of those bills with his sponsorship, as of December 2004, 11 have been signed into law.”
That means in 19 years in the Senate, only 11 of the bills he worked on were signed into law. That’s not terribly impressive.
Maybe you can give us some substantive cites of his actual Senate “accomplishments”, other than going after the Contras and saying in 1988 that “”if Bush is shot, the Secret Service has orders to shoot Dan Quayle.”
Del Dolemonte on April 14, 2008 at 3:50 PM
What’s even scarier is that Kerry came within 1 state in 2004 of winning the White House. Thanks to the media, of course, which guaranteed they would go in the tank for him from the get go…see “Evan Thomas”.
Del Dolemonte on April 14, 2008 at 3:53 PM
I wonder what kind of veteran’s bills were introduced? Extending the statute of limitations against Veterans??
bloggless on April 14, 2008 at 3:53 PM
Kerry and Kennedy must be really drunk cause I’m seeing two of them. One of each was bad enough. Can’t somebody deport them or something?
Tuco on April 14, 2008 at 4:11 PM
If you examine the skin underneath Senator Kerry’s hair, you will find a birthmark in the shape of a 57. This is known in exorcist circles as the varieties of the Beast.
James on April 14, 2008 at 4:25 PM
Tuco, to be objective, it looks more like MB4’s micro-brew might still be having its effects…
Entelechy on April 14, 2008 at 4:33 PM
I prefer “The Senator Formerly Known as relevant”.
Claypigeon on April 14, 2008 at 4:57 PM
I still never buy Heinz ketchup.
jgapinoy on April 14, 2008 at 5:04 PM
When was that?
Rick on April 14, 2008 at 5:34 PM
ummm… Someone stole my stapler.. i’m going to umm.. >:}
Chakra Hammer on April 14, 2008 at 5:42 PM
Awww.. you already wronte about the stapler.. i did a search in the comments about “stapler” after i posted.. LOL
>:} thats my O-Face :P
Chakra Hammer on April 14, 2008 at 5:44 PM
wrote* even..
Chakra Hammer on April 14, 2008 at 5:44 PM
Sad to say, there are really only two “mass market” ketchups in the US (and Heinz is available around the world as well). So the vast majority of consumers are only going to buy what they know. Sad to say, I have found Hunt’s ketchup to be over-sweet, something that you don’t look for in a ketchup, so I have been forced to either make my own or get gourmet brands.
Mama T has nothing to worry about-Heinz ketchup (or catsup) will be her cash cow for the next hundred years.
Del Dolemonte on April 14, 2008 at 8:44 PM
By the way, when is Kerry going to release ALL of his military records to the general public? He never has, which proves he has something to hide.
Del Dolemonte on April 14, 2008 at 8:45 PM
I wonder what kind of veteran’s bills were introduced?
Here’s one…
Introduced
Feb 25, 2008 S. 2658: A bill to amend the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act to extend from 90 days to one year the period after release of a member from the Armed Forces from active duty during which the member is protected from mortgage foreclosure.
Tom_Shipley on April 15, 2008 at 8:03 AM
And another….
Introduced
Apr 26, 2007
S. 1243: A bill to amend title 10, United States Code, to reduce the age for receipt of military retired pay for nonregular service from 60 years of age to 55 years of age.
And another…
Introduced
Mar 28, 2007 S. 1005: Military Reservist and Veteran Small Business Reauthorization Act of 2007
Tom_Shipley on April 15, 2008 at 8:06 AM
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