Video: Greatest sport in history invented in Japan
posted at 8:22 pm on April 11, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Landmines scattered randomly around the field would have made it marginally more awesome, but let’s not nitpick. Japan 1, world 0.
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Gotta love the play-by-play. They’re stoked.
Cicero43 on April 11, 2008 at 8:25 PM
Japan’s answer to the ChiCom Olympics….Car Soccer.
More like…
Japan ∞, world 0.
malan89 on April 11, 2008 at 8:26 PM
Sweet, I have a Dodge P/U can I play?
knat on April 11, 2008 at 8:29 PM
Japanese TV Rules!
SoulGlo on April 11, 2008 at 8:30 PM
now this is soccer I’d pay to watch!
lorien1973 on April 11, 2008 at 8:31 PM
First the VCR and now Soccer - they make everything better!
Kini on April 11, 2008 at 8:35 PM
that may be the most concentrated awesomeness I have ever encountered
DanH on April 11, 2008 at 8:36 PM
The British show TopGear did this before…
JustinHiggins on April 11, 2008 at 8:38 PM
Please, Top Gear -a british tv show- has had car soccer, car hockey and best yet, car ski jumping.
Blarg the Destroyer on April 11, 2008 at 8:40 PM
Poop, Justin barely beat me to it.
Blarg the Destroyer on April 11, 2008 at 8:40 PM
Hmm, no cows on the field?
Hah, and they said that the 21st century would belong to Japan?
Not without the bovine my Japanese friends.
SteveMG on April 11, 2008 at 8:42 PM
Is this a feature at Disney Japan yet?
Entelechy on April 11, 2008 at 8:47 PM
Its too bad Japan is depopulating so rapidly. That civilization is worth saving - for the entertainment value alone!! (Although being replaced with anthropomorphic robots would be cool too - scary, but cool.)
Jimmy the Dhimmi on April 11, 2008 at 8:48 PM
Never have I been filled with such unabashed glee. Especially when you realize that, since it’s Japan, the drivers are not human, but rather life-like sex robots.
its vintage duh on April 11, 2008 at 8:48 PM
Looks like fun!
Sign me up!
Someone lend me their car!!!
:D
Yakko77 on April 11, 2008 at 8:48 PM
Somebody remind me: which planet do the Japanese come from? Maybe it’s a misspelling of Jupiternese?
Yeah, it’s funny, but geez!
Splashman on April 11, 2008 at 8:56 PM
Can’t this somehow be introduced to the Jihadys
as a game they might enjoy,Bomb Ball Soccer!
For the Jihadys,they get to have fun and Ka-Boom!
Straight to Allah for their soccer mom virgins!
Two birds,and one stone,er soccer ball bomb!
Okay the Japanese have found a fun way to play Demolition
Derby,with a twist of scoring points along the way!
But thats a girly man’s game,how about they use Cessana 172’s,
that way the excitement factor gets kicked up a notch,
screaming 172’s low to the ground trying to get the ball in
the net,get some of those Nopi car girl models for eye candy near the nets and BAM you’ve got a winner! hahahaha
canopfor on April 11, 2008 at 9:01 PM
Pure awesome. :D
PolitiNOOB on April 11, 2008 at 9:08 PM
Wiki’ed Islam in Japan. Ha! It’s written by a Muslim. Seems Japan had a golden age of Islam of it’s own destroyed by the victors of WW2. Its actually kind of funny in that Muslim supremacist way of theirs.
BL@KBIRD on April 11, 2008 at 9:14 PM
Awesome. Too bad the Japanese don’t have souls, though.
Dead Hand Control on April 11, 2008 at 9:14 PM
Combine demolition derby w/ soccer, & you get something much more fun than either!
jgapinoy on April 11, 2008 at 9:16 PM
Most entertaining things nowadays seem to come from Japan.
Grayson on April 11, 2008 at 9:19 PM
Pshaw! It has nothing on Quidditch.
hadsil on April 11, 2008 at 9:22 PM
Greatest sport and soccer ball don’t coexist in my ethno-centric universe. They need to work in a little American Football for me to pay attention. Keep tinkering my Far-Eastern friends. You’re getting close on the game shows.
Cold Steel on April 11, 2008 at 9:32 PM
Check out the headshots of the drivers when they show their name and number. Japan 1, World 1/2.
franklinstein on April 11, 2008 at 9:35 PM
That’s when you need a 1974 Chevy Impala!
p40tiger on April 11, 2008 at 9:49 PM
I’d like the ‘59 Cadillac I had as a kid or the family’s 59 Pontiac Bonneville; those things could argue with just about any main battle tank.
michaelo on April 11, 2008 at 10:12 PM
Damn. First the Playstation, now Car Soccer. Guess there is something to be said for working 20 hour days and workforce calisthenics.
Big Daddy Cool on April 11, 2008 at 10:29 PM
Now THAT looks like fun! The announcers sure seemed to enjoy themselves.
desertdweller on April 11, 2008 at 11:28 PM
JustinHiggins and Blarg the Destroyer are right. It was on Top Gear. Great show by the way! I suggest watching it if you get the chance, it’s on BBC America. If you don’t know it’s three car experts, Jeremy, Richard, and a third guy who looks like somone from the band Asia, all very talented and funny. Granted you’ll have to get past the mild English pomposity of Jeremy. Not to mention the constant bad marks for American cars but otherwise it’s freakin’ hilarious!
rihar on April 11, 2008 at 11:32 PM
Wow. Makes me wish I still had my old ‘64 Impala. We’d rule!
I wonder when the playoffs are.
irishspy on April 11, 2008 at 11:48 PM
I want to live in Japan.. >:}
Need to learn Japanese!
Chakra Hammer on April 12, 2008 at 12:07 AM
Just have your lifelike Japanese fembot teach you…
Captain Scarlet on April 12, 2008 at 2:59 AM
They did it twice and played a hockey too….
Top Gear > everything else
liquidflorian on April 12, 2008 at 3:24 AM
a hockey *game*
oops…
liquidflorian on April 12, 2008 at 3:25 AM
Oh, the
humanitycarbon emissions!clancy_wiggum on April 12, 2008 at 5:52 AM
1) Awesome.
2) That is the toughest ball in sports, bar none.
3) Japan may be declining in population, but if they want to solve the problem, I’m willing to help. *Ahem*
Merovign on April 12, 2008 at 6:23 AM
Announcers are totally into it. How fun.
inviolet on April 12, 2008 at 6:41 AM
only one thing to say……
F#$%ing awesome
pmoshields on April 12, 2008 at 7:15 AM
Making a girls sport palitable.
TheSitRep on April 12, 2008 at 8:26 AM
Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jaibones on April 12, 2008 at 8:41 AM
In order to hold down these high scores, I suggest wetting down the playing surface, and re-activating the airbags.
Jeffster on April 12, 2008 at 8:57 AM
This ain’t nuthin. Since at least the ’70’s, Stanley Marsh the Third of Amarillo, Texas has had a POOL TABLE painted onto his land. The balls are huge round bales of hay and the “cue sticks” are Jeeps! A buddy of mine did some crop dusting for Mr. Marsh (an ecentric millionaire), and got real drunk one night and had to spray the corn fields the next morning. He DID NOT know about the pool table in the field. All hung over, he flew over the hill, saw the pool table and immediately headed back home for a rousing day of drinking. True story.
FishFearMe on April 12, 2008 at 9:38 AM
You’d think the Japanese, who are all into the drifting thing, would be better able to control those cars.
Still, this is teh awesome.
otcconan on April 12, 2008 at 9:50 AM
Heh. Very funny.
But still not the coolest sport ever. I mean, where’s the T&A?
wearyman on April 12, 2008 at 9:54 AM
Did anyone else notice the ref was just a guy walking around?!! Talk about rules difficult to enforce! I doubt any of these guys have a lot of penalty minutes.
.
Ref: “Foul!”
Driver: “Oh Yeah?” **slams on gas**
artlover on April 12, 2008 at 10:09 AM
Oh, we so gotta setup a league. This is gonna be bigger than Nascar!
Iblis on April 12, 2008 at 10:11 AM
For the first time in history, a soccer game that is NOT boring. SHAZAMMM!!!
pueblo1032 on April 12, 2008 at 10:21 AM
GOOOOOOOAAAAAAL
Seixon on April 12, 2008 at 10:45 AM
Agreed, the Japanese did not start ‘Car Soccer’ but they are to ones who have made it interesting to watch (commentary and in vehicle video coverage).
A previous post mentioned Hummers. Does that mean if the U.S. had a team we could use the Hummer as our vehicle of choice-or would that be unfair to the little guy?
MSGTAS on April 12, 2008 at 10:46 AM
With the first pick in the Japanese car soccer (?) fantasy draft league, I take Kamikaze Kurosawa.
Next.
SteveMG on April 12, 2008 at 10:58 AM
Next step, pneumatic bumpers so they can pass from car to car.
Feel free to use the Hummers, as they’d have about as much acceleration as the US rugby team ;)
Reaps on April 12, 2008 at 11:17 AM
I am sure this makes global warmies pull their hair out
windansea on April 12, 2008 at 11:22 AM
This needs to be a minigame in Motorstorm 2.
Typhonsentra on April 12, 2008 at 12:07 PM
That is the greatest thing, ever.
token on April 12, 2008 at 12:17 PM
Great stuff. Exactly why Japan needs to be saved population-wise. Mainly because: they got hot girls there!
Avi Green on April 12, 2008 at 1:45 PM
I’ve already seen this done… in a video game (it was a real video cutscene though).
A game for the X-box (and PS2?); Test Drive: Eve of Destruction. (Demolition Derby event game)
Some of the cutscenes were:
Figure-8 Bus Race (yes, with a dangerous crossing).
Chain Race (link 2 cars with a 30-foot chain, front car gets engine, back car gets brakes…).
Flagpole Race (must circle flagpole by normal field every lap)
And this one (Car Soccer) were memorable cutscenes.
Other events in the game that were memorable…
Figure-8 Jump Race…
Suicide race (half the cars go clockwise, half counter-clockwise)
Whip-around race (every other lap, turn a 180; fist lap clockwise, 2nd counter-clockwise, etc.)
Can’t remember all of them anymore, but I’ve seen car soccer before, and it was in the U.S. from the cutscene, not Japan (or at least, I think that was correct).
Anyhow, that game came out in 2004, so their video predates this… where they did their event; I dunno. I always wondered where (if anywhere) demolition derbies were as cool as the ones in that game…
gekkobear on April 12, 2008 at 5:48 PM
This is All-American stuff. I remember seeing this when I was about ten or so at Lernerville Speedway. It’s real fun when a car “rides” over the ball.
rmb263 on April 13, 2008 at 3:22 PM
I want to play this in a ‘76 caddy ( a frickin’ tank) or else some small Nissan with a 30-ft turning circle.
Preferably the caddy.
chsw
chsw on April 13, 2008 at 11:02 PM