Video: “Super Pii Pii Brothers”

posted at 4:45 pm on April 3, 2008 by Allahpundit

As featured at ThinkGeek on, ahem, April Fool’s Day, it’s easily the finest urine-based game I’ve ever seen. No worries if your console doesn’t come equpped: The Wii phallus comes included. Quote: “Super Pii Pii Brothers promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing.” Good for you, in other words — much like the Wii Fit — but with an excretory angle.

Now that we’ve dispatched with that, let’s get to the real purpose of this post: Anyone in the audience work for Nintendo and/or know where I can find the console on sale? The boss is an addict and has convinced me of its virtues but there are none to be had, even in NYC. It’s time to make this traffic pay off. Anyone? Bueller?

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I love the concerned, even disgusted look on her face.

Dr. Manhattan on April 3, 2008 at 4:46 PM

Stay classy, Allah.

Lee on April 3, 2008 at 4:47 PM

A friend of mine found his at Circuit City. It was the only place in town that stocked them.

Slublog on April 3, 2008 at 4:47 PM

sorry, can’t hold it…BRB

maintenanceman on April 3, 2008 at 4:48 PM

Stay classy, Allah.

I have offended the fragile Hot Air audience with a reference to urine.

My apologies.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:49 PM

I have offended the fragile Hot Air audience with a reference to urine.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:49 PM

Congratulations, Alla…. That line’s getting old now, isn’t it?

amerpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:55 PM

No one knows where I can get this thing? Seriously? I’m a dying man here.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:55 PM

They’re just being a little pissy with you, Allah =]]

wcrego on April 3, 2008 at 4:57 PM

I don’t think it’s the urine so much as the giant plastic phallus she’s waving around like a flag on the 4th of July.

Don’t you have a Fry’s or a Best Buy up in your neck of the woods AP? We’re stocked down here. What about a Gamestop? Sometimes they sell used consoles.

austinnelly on April 3, 2008 at 4:58 PM

Hell yeah, we have Best Buy and Gamestop. Sold OUT.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:58 PM

I don’t think it’s the urine so much as the giant plastic phallus she’s waving around like a flag on the 4th of July.

Whatever a grown woman and her plastic urinating strap-on Wii phallus want to do in the privacy of her home is no one’s business but hers.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:59 PM

Do we get banned for suggesting ebay?

TexasDan on April 3, 2008 at 4:59 PM

Online?

…Though I got mine at Target. Then again, I live in Ohio…less demand, perhaps?

JeepGirl on April 3, 2008 at 5:00 PM

JeepGirl on April 3, 2008 at 5:00 PM

Legend has it that they were at the local Target last month.

I’m reluctant to buy from those smaller electronics online outlets. Too dodgy.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 5:01 PM

Ignore the whiners, AP. This was funny.

Now The View clips, on the other hand, are deeply offensive to anyone with more than three functional synapses. Dump that $hit.

Splashman on April 3, 2008 at 5:02 PM

eBay, maybe?

mikeyboss on April 3, 2008 at 5:02 PM

Whatever a grown woman and her plastic urinating strap-on Wii phallus want to do in the privacy of her home is no one’s business but hers.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:59 PM

True, but as a man who has been peeing like this for 33 years now I have to correct her on her form.

When all done, you’re supposed to shake it . . . just not more than three times.

thomashton on April 3, 2008 at 5:04 PM

Just picked one up on eBay for $275…

freakagriep on April 3, 2008 at 5:04 PM

mikeyboss on April 3, 2008 at 5:02 PM

Relevant quote from Empire: “I want proof, not leads!”

Splashman on April 3, 2008 at 5:05 PM

What’s sad is how similar this is to a real men’s room! Why do guys pee all over the floor in public?

lorien1973 on April 3, 2008 at 5:05 PM

JeepGirl on April 3, 2008 at 5:00 PM

Legend has it that they were at the local Target last month.

I’m reluctant to buy from those smaller electronics online outlets. Too dodgy.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 5:01 PM

Mmm yes. eBay might be your best bet, then, as others have suggested, since if you get screwed over you can file a Paypal dispute and get your money back easily.

JeepGirl on April 3, 2008 at 5:06 PM

What’s sad is how similar this is to a real men’s room! Why do guys pee all over the floor in public?

lorien1973 on April 3, 2008 at 5:05 PM

Screw you! That’s my right!

thomashton on April 3, 2008 at 5:06 PM

What’s sad is how similar this is to a real men’s room! Why do guys pee all over the floor in public?

lorien1973 on April 3, 2008 at 5:05 PM

Well, we wouldn’t want to do it in private, now would we?

amerpundit on April 3, 2008 at 5:09 PM

Try the Nintendo Store at Rockefeller Center. When I was there in the summer, they were getting steady although small shipments to keep the tourists supplied. You would need to check each morning.

Anton on April 3, 2008 at 5:09 PM

What’s sad is how similar this is to a real men’s room! Why do guys pee all over the floor in public?

lorien1973 on April 3, 2008 at 5:05 PM

Aren’t they just marking their territory? (Though I’ve seen some pretty gross women’s rooms, too.)

JeepGirl on April 3, 2008 at 5:09 PM

Most people around my city who are finding them are just lucking out by walking into a store the day they stock a new batch and grabbing one before they’re gone. We got ours last year at the height of the Wii shortage from a Sams Club in a small city an hour away–a family member let me know that their Sams Club had just gotten 30 consoles in, and we raced there to get one (my husband’s boss let him leave work in the middle of the day to do it, on the condition that we purchased one on his behalf as well–it turned out to be a fun little road trip!).

Wii scalpers are still having a field day on the local Craigslist. If you want to pay extra, you can probably find a brand new Wii on Craigslist.

aero on April 3, 2008 at 5:10 PM

Allah, after the palette-cleansing pseudo-reference to Butters’ “What What In the B***” song this morning, I’m appalled…shocked…that you would deign to reference such a horrifying April Fool’s prank. How very beneath you. This is no laughing matter, and is certainly something worthy of further investigation by the proper authorities. As something of an expert on the “Pii Pii” phenomenon, I promise to ensure that our children are safe from the pernicious influence of the evil game manufacturers.

Signed,

Chuck Berry

Flyover Country on April 3, 2008 at 5:11 PM

I’ll sell you mine.. only $800 ;)

abrown28 on April 3, 2008 at 5:13 PM

I was trying to get Bryan a Wii but my contact at Nintendo Corporate in Redmond, WA moved away. I’m told if you live in NYC you can always buy the Wii at the Nintendo World Store in Rockefeller Center.

Seriously, the Wii is gimmicky and gets really boring after a few plays (and I say that as an owner). Michelle and Bryan get more enjoyment out of a Wii because they have very young children that like juvenile carnival games but once a heterosexual male gets to be over the age of ten years-old he’s no longer in the Wii demo.

Xbox 360, dude. That’s all you need.

ScottMcC on April 3, 2008 at 5:13 PM

Wow, what will they come up with next? Kinda flat on the top, for $275 it seems they could have made it ahhhh, more real looking ? Do they come in colors ?

2theright on April 3, 2008 at 5:13 PM

Legend has it that they were at the local Target last month.

When I was trying to buy one, I was always told by the store employees that the best way to get one was to find out what days the trucks made deliveries and show up early on those days.

This strategy required me to get up too early in the morning, and I eventually gave up.

These consoles are notoriously hard to get. Nintendo’s decision to only ship out two or three units at a time and deliberately lose the console wars has puzzeled pretty much every video gamer I know.

SteakRules on April 3, 2008 at 5:17 PM

Hell yeah, we have Best Buy and Gamestop. Sold OUT.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:58 PM

At my local GameStop I was told that they get shipments of them in regularly but that they generally sell out almost immediately. So you’d basically have to call everyday.

Other than that, I’m sure you can get one on eBay for the right price.

But hey, I’m in the same boat. I’ll just have to console myself with the ps3 we bought instead.

Esthier on April 3, 2008 at 5:17 PM

I found a bulletin board online (don’t remember where — this was last year) that said “Sunday morning, all of the Best Buys are getting seven of them.” Strolled in on Sunday morning and grabbed the last one. I had never even looked for one before, and just got lucky.

That said, I don’t think you’ll like it. It’s awesome, but it’s not a gamer’s game.

Also: April Fools is the best day of the year at ThinkGeek. This year paled in comparison to previous years, but still great.

Tanya on April 3, 2008 at 5:19 PM

Allah,

Sign up at wiialerts.com. You’ll get an email and/or text message alert every time a Wii becomes available online. This is best for Amazon as they don’t force you to bundle plus you get free shipping and no tax.

Queasy on April 3, 2008 at 5:19 PM

ooh.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Nintendo-Wii-System-Console-14-Games-2-Remote-2-Nunchuk
_W0QQitemZ140220674635QQihZ004QQcategoryZ62054QQssPageName
ZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

ronsfi on April 3, 2008 at 5:20 PM

Bought one at TRUs a year ago January. Played it for three months and then traded it in. I don’t like sweating while I play video games. It’s fun at first, but then it just becomes annoying as hell.

Just bought a PS3 on Sunday. Love it. Love it. Love it!

robblefarian on April 3, 2008 at 5:20 PM

Wow, what will they come up with next? Kinda flat on the top, for $275 it seems they could have made it ahhhh, more real looking ? Do they come in colors ?

2theright on April 3, 2008 at 5:13 PM

That’s funny as hell!! And true too.!

4shoes on April 3, 2008 at 5:21 PM

That said, I don’t think you’ll like it. It’s awesome, but it’s not a gamer’s game.

I’m not a gamer. I have the 360 but I play it once every three months.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 5:21 PM

Allah, do you actually use the internet at all?

Just type in “Wii in stock” and click on the results (as well as the ads) and you will find them available.

Here is what I found:

AceBeach.com (PayPal or Credit Card)
OneWayGame.com (PayPal or Credit Card)
WiiPeddler.com (Google Checkout or Credit Card, recommended)

These are quite expensive, so unless you are willing to pay iPhone prices, then I would recommend pounding the pavement.

Darnell Clayton on April 3, 2008 at 5:25 PM

I passed on the Wii and went with the PS3…of course I can’t pee on cats in toilets tho…and I’ve been playing Playstation since it came out. And the PS3 is built to support games they haven’t even thought of yet.

But yeah, the Wii is still hard to find in the city.

JetBoy on April 3, 2008 at 5:25 PM

Oh, I used Google by the way (on the PC as my iPhone lacks a copy and paste mechanism).

Darnell Clayton on April 3, 2008 at 5:26 PM

Just think of these four words AP- “Grand Theft Auto Four”

You will need no other game once this arrives.

Is there any game that gives you a more soothing feeling than carjacking someone and then running them over with the car you just stole from them?

No, I don’t believe there is.

Tman on April 3, 2008 at 5:26 PM

Just bought a PS3 on Sunday. Love it. Love it. Love it!

robblefarian on April 3, 2008 at 5:20 PM

I’m loving mine too, but the lack of backwards compatibility (wish I’d known, but none of the 60 or 80 gigs were available anyway) and lack of games really sucks.

Esthier on April 3, 2008 at 5:26 PM

“Whatever a grown woman and her plastic urinating strap-on Wii phallus want to do in the privacy of her home is no one’s business but hers.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:59 PM”

Allah, you should ask ACE, I am sure he has a closet full….

Seven Percent Solution on April 3, 2008 at 5:28 PM

Just think of these four words AP- “Grand Theft Auto Four”

Can’t wait.

Esthier on April 3, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Oh, btw…I think the best bet to get a wii in Manhattan is to go to the Nintendo World store. I heard they get more consoles every day. Just get there early.

JetBoy on April 3, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Let me get this straight. Someone designs a Wii phallus — and the first impulse is to hit a kitten with urine?

Priorities, priorities, priorities ….

Ed Morrissey on April 3, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Just think of these four words AP- “Grand Theft Auto Four”

San Andreas was incredible. GTA4 is going to be Awesome! I foresee a good three months of every spare minute will be playing that one.

JetBoy on April 3, 2008 at 5:32 PM

Is there any game that gives you a more soothing feeling than carjacking someone and then running them over with the car you just stole from them?

Tman on April 3, 2008 at 5:26 PM

Or killing the prostitute who just got your health back up over 100 just so you can get the money you paid her back…

Esthier on April 3, 2008 at 5:35 PM

Allah, you can thank the worthless US dollar for not being able to find a Wii at any major US store

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/DN-gamer_0329gl.ART.State.Edition1.464cd43.html

coldwater on April 3, 2008 at 5:37 PM

That’s just sick. I don’t know which is worse, this or the Rosie clips.

srhoades on April 3, 2008 at 5:39 PM

I made an impulse decision to buy one yesterday.

I walked into WalMart, and they had 3. Maybe I just lucked out. Who knows.

prolix on April 3, 2008 at 5:41 PM

Why am all of a sudden very curious about strap-ons???

Seven Percent Solution on April 3, 2008 at 5:44 PM

I’m not a gamer. I have the 360 but I play it once every three months.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 5:21 PM

That’s because you don’t have Guitar Hero 3 or Rock Band… It’s just–I mean–Dude.

You can also use the Xbox 360 to watch your live and/or recorded TV like this guy does. Better than Tivo and costs nothing per month…

ScottMcC on April 3, 2008 at 5:51 PM

When I really wanted to get the Wii last November, I couldn’t find one anywhere. I finally found I could cash in some of my Marriott points for one, and had it in about a week.

flipflop on April 3, 2008 at 5:53 PM

Don’t buy one on Ebay. There’s no point.

The general status of Wiis in the wild is that major chain retailers horde them for a week or two then advertise that they have them in for the weekend. Target, especially, is big on doing this, but they all do it to some extent.

So your best bet is to check the ads in the paper and go in first thing in the morning on the days that they advertise that they’ll have them in stock.

I can’t vouch for NYC, but in the rest of the country they are easier to come by than they once were, so just calling around to see if any are in stock might be quickest. If they don’t have any, ask when they will and go in then.

Btw, if you’re getting a Wii just to play Wii Sports, that would be disappointing. Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl are must haves for almost any Wii owner, but there are tonnes of other great ones, depending on which genres of games you’re into.

Nessuno on April 3, 2008 at 5:57 PM

Hey Allah!

Speaking of Wii videos, you must check out this head tracking demo.

It starts off slowly, but stick with it: I guarantee it will melt your brain.

saint kansas on April 3, 2008 at 6:00 PM

as a man who has been peeing like this for 33 years now…

thomashton on April 3, 2008 at 5:04 PM

I’m a 33-year-old man, but I’ve only been peeing like that for about 31 years.

Tzetzes on April 3, 2008 at 6:07 PM

Why get a Wii, Allah, when you can have a Vii?

KosherPickle on April 3, 2008 at 6:16 PM

AP, don’t listen to them.

Awesome, bro, simply awesome.

Mortis on April 3, 2008 at 6:19 PM

Stupid.

peacenprosperity on April 3, 2008 at 6:21 PM

Dude, I think we need to elevate this conversation…in a manner of speaking. Here’s an excerpt from the penultimate chapter of James Joyce’s Ulysses about a peeing competition between Bloom and Dedalus. It’s part of a chapter in catechism form.

Were they indefinitely inactive?

At Stephen’s suggestion, at Bloom’s instigation both, first Stephen, then Bloom, in penumbra urinated, their sides contiguous, their organs of micturition reciprocally rendered invisible by manual circumposition, their gazes, first Bloom’s, then Stephen’s, elevated to the projected luminous and semiluminous shadow.

Similarly?

The trajectories of their, first sequent, then simultaneous, urinations were dissimilar: Bloom’s longer, less irruent, in the incomplete form of the bifurcated penultimate alphabetical letter, who in his ultimate year at High School (1880) had been capable of attaining the point of greatest altitude against the whole concurrent strength of the institution, 210 scholars: Stephen’s higher, more sibilant, who in the ultimate hours of the previous day had augmented by diuretic consumption an insistent vesical pressure.

What different problems presented themselves to each concerning the invisible audible collateral organ of the other?

To Bloom: the problems of irritability, tumescence, rigidity, reactivity, dimension, sanitariness, pilosity.

To Stephen: the problem of the sacerdotal integrity of Jesus circumcised (I January, holiday of obligation to hear mass and abstain from unnecessary servile work) and the problem as to whether the divine prepuce, the carnal bridal ring of the holy Roman catholic apostolic church, conserved in Calcata, were deserving of simple hyperduly or of the fourth degree of latria accorded to the abscission of such divine excrescences as hair and toenails.

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on April 3, 2008 at 6:31 PM

Allah

I live in Japan and am coming home to Ohio at the end of this month for a visit. I can buy a Wii here no problem. I bought a Wii about a month ago and it is awesome. Not sure the logistics but would be happy to pick one up here and bring it back for you. let me know my e-mail is on my info. Don’t know if its as cool as your I-phone though…

tottoritodd on April 3, 2008 at 7:30 PM

Allah, dude… If you don’t play your Xbox 360 more than quarterly, then the Wii is a total waste of money.

Seriously. I’m not kidding. A Wii trial run when you make the trip down to Fort Malkin is highly recommended before putting down any cash for one.

ScottMcC on April 3, 2008 at 8:55 PM

An “addict”? I hope you’re not saying Michelle Malkin is addicted to Super Pii Pii Brothers, Allahpundit. Ew.

Virus-X on April 3, 2008 at 8:59 PM

Whatever a grown woman and her plastic urinating strap-on Wii phallus want to do in the privacy of her home is no one’s business but hers.

Allahpundit on April 3, 2008 at 4:59 PM

Ok, I’ll give you that. But how far would you go AP? Would you post a video of the dancing Stormtrooper doing a jig wearing the Wii phallus outside of his armor on a busy Tokyo street? Would you post the subsequent cell phone video of his arrest and beating by Japanese riot police using four foot wooden batons, or possibly the Wii phallus itself? :) Good luck finding one man. A Wii, I mean, not the wii wii (ok, i’ll stop.)

austinnelly on April 3, 2008 at 9:12 PM

Not a big fan of the Wii, but two games I would recommend are Smash Bros. and No More Heroes. NMH in particular, as it’s so bizarre. Very difficult and violent though, fair warning.

Typhonsentra on April 3, 2008 at 9:19 PM

That’s me around 1:45 on a Saturday night. Until they took my cats away.

ronsfi on April 3, 2008 at 9:21 PM

Liza Harper has put on a lot of weight.

Bill C on April 3, 2008 at 10:02 PM

Get Michelle and Ed to have a Wii pissing contest. That would be fun.

mram on April 3, 2008 at 10:07 PM

I work at Best Buy and can keep my eyes open. If you want one, let me know and I’ll send it to you. You’ll pay me back of course.

longshanks on April 4, 2008 at 10:22 AM

A dude would have shook it off at the end. lol

TheSitRep on April 4, 2008 at 11:10 AM

is it wrong to be turned on by this?

madmonkphotog on April 4, 2008 at 11:47 AM

I hope they’re not eating asparagus.

2Tru2Tru on April 4, 2008 at 1:48 PM