Corrected for spelling and punctuation:
Wombat: eats, roots ruts, & leaves.

Uh, no. The original was the way it was supposed to be. You see, it’s a pun. And I was writing in Australian. (Ask an Australian the meaning of the word “root.” Hint: it can be a noun or a verb, and the verb form means the exact same thing as the word you substituted.) And the lack of a comma creates the ambiguity that makes the pun work.

It’s actually the punchline to an old Australian joke, which was bowdlerized for a book title in the US by substituting “shoots” for “roots.”

Wombat: eats, roots ruts twigs, & leaves berries.

Aw, the hell with it. I give up. Y’all win. You’ll probably love this one:

“Wombat: ****s you in the ***.”

Some mood music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbh9c0noR4s

William Amos on March 27, 2008 at 9:02 PM

LOL good one.

Wombat: eats, roots ruts, & leaves.

flipflop on March 27, 2008 at 7:23 PM

Somebody wrote a funny book about that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbh9c0noR4s

Mojack420:Priceless,oh I’m laughin,make it stop.
How about the diddy by Exile,I want
to kiss you all over,the scene swimming
with sharks! haha

OT Does anyone know how to remove vodka from a laptop keyboard???

FloridaBill on March 27, 2008 at 8:46 PM

Wombats are quite efficient at cleaning things like keyboards. They are very adept entering small cracks…harder then hell to get them out though.

Wombat Arthur, Wombat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in wombat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy’s so skinny

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin’ and jingin’ the jango
Floatin’ like the heavens above
It looks like wombat love

Nibbling on bacon, chewin’ on cheese
Sammy says to Arthur”Honey, would you please be my missus?”
And he say yes
With his kisses

And now he’s ticklin’ his fancy
Rubbin’ his toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and Arthur starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin’ and jingin’ the jango
Floatin’ like the heavens above
It looks like wombat love

La da da da da …

Kini on March 27,2008 at 7:59PM.

Kini: LMAO,the bike,the lava lamp,it never ends,
thanks for that,nice hearing from you again!HeHe

I’ve been drinking for 40 years

You must be King Hammered

This post is without question one of the funniest you have ever posted (IMHO). Comments were also awesome (Some quite twisted, but funny nonetheless – CED, in particular).

I guess it pays to be “All Seeing and All Knowing”, thanks for the laugh.

OT Does anyone know how to remove vodka from a laptop keyboard???

Come and clean now…
Indy Consevative on March 27,2008 at 8:03PM.

Indy Conservative:Ha ha,oh the horror,when will it end!

canopfor on March 27, 2008 at 8:38 PM

It won’t end. GrRrRrrrrrrr

Here’s another true story.

But this one has a twist.

No animals were involved or injured.

Read on:

Married ‘man’ claims to be five months pregnant

By James Macintyre

Thursday, 27 March 2008

A man who used to be a woman before having gender reassignment surgery claims he is five months pregnant and expecting a baby girl in July.

Thomas Beatie, who is married and from the US state of Oregon, has written an article in the gay magazine Advocate, saying it feels “incredible” to be a “pregnant man”. He adds: “Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am.”

Born Tracy Lagondino, Mr Beatie kept his female organs when he changed genders. He turned to home insemination after what he says was discrimination from doctors. He says he is carrying a child on behalf of his wife, Nancy, because she has had a hysterectomy. The couple have been together for 10 years.

“Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs,” Mr Beatie explained in the article.

“Healthcare professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognise Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender,” he added. “Sterilisation is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights,” he said. “Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire but a human desire.”

The couple, who manage a custom screen-printing business in the town of Bend, lived a normal life “until we decided that I would carry our child,” Mr Beatie wrote. A previous insemination ended in a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy with triplets, requiring surgery, resulting in the loss of all his embryos and his right fallopian tube.

“I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family,” Mr Beatie wrote. Advocate says it has confirmed with Mr Beatie’s doctors that he is indeed pregnant.

©independent.co.uk

Indy Conservative:Ha ha,oh the horror,when will it end!

He pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.

That’s it; blame the victim.

If Mike Nifong had been handling this case, at least five wombats would have been arraigned by now!

And you can bet your ass all this all this talk of substance abuse (and a few overly convenient alibis about being in a zoo on the other side of the country at the time of the incident) would have brushed aside in the rush to justice.

locomotivebreath1901: Maybe he passed out,he was
v i c t i m i z e d !

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a Saber-toothed tiger?

I don’t know, but you sure don’t want it near your ass!