CBS reporter: Let’s see how long I can stand here while the military zaps me with its heat ray

posted at 4:34 pm on February 29, 2008 by Allahpundit

Proof that big media is indeed “out of touch” and willing to do what it takes to win us back? Or proof that the trend towards eccentric workplace motivation is catching on faster than we thought? At the nexus of two JWF links lies late-Friday-afternoon comedy gold, my friends.

Verdict: Slightly more awesome than the puke ray, slighty less awesome than the crazy ray.

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Don’t lase me bro!

RobCon on February 29, 2008 at 4:37 PM

At least they didn’t hit him with a gay bomb.

lorien1973 on February 29, 2008 at 4:37 PM

ONEONETHOUSANDTWOONETHOUSANDTHREWAAAAAAHHH!!!

Haha. Nice. Do the puke ray next!

Ferris on February 29, 2008 at 4:38 PM

Can we try this out at the next Code Pink rally? Can we? Please!

RobCon on February 29, 2008 at 4:40 PM

Does it give the sensation of heat or will it eventually make a potpie out of you?

Limerick on February 29, 2008 at 4:40 PM

Now, can we do this to ALL the Main Stream Media???

Please???

Romeo13 on February 29, 2008 at 4:40 PM

WTF ever happened to the “Gay Bomb”… that would’ve produced some epic Lulz…

liquidflorian on February 29, 2008 at 4:42 PM

Set phasers on “Bias”

BemusedMalkinite on February 29, 2008 at 4:43 PM

That’s one way to put the heat on the MSM – LOL!

I bet the operators enjoyed that a lot! I certainly enjoyed watching it!

TheBigOldDog on February 29, 2008 at 4:43 PM

BemusedMalkinite on February 29, 2008 at 4:43 PM

Quote of the day right there.

Limerick on February 29, 2008 at 4:44 PM

I saw this thing used on Future Weapons on the Discovery Channel. It can be described as a 3rd degree sunburn. In your bowels.

fourstringfuror on February 29, 2008 at 4:44 PM

Pains me to watch.

Wade on February 29, 2008 at 4:45 PM

Do Keith Olbermann next!

TheBigOldDog on February 29, 2008 at 4:45 PM

I prefer the .50 ray myself.

Akzed on February 29, 2008 at 4:46 PM

So if a splodydope were approaching would it set the charges off?

bbz123 on February 29, 2008 at 4:46 PM

The pain threw his timing off. At the most that was 1.5 secs.

pseudonominus on February 29, 2008 at 4:46 PM

The VRWC has a FEE-VAH and the only prescription is more journalists hit with the heat ray

Defector01 on February 29, 2008 at 4:48 PM

Does it give the sensation of heat or will it eventually make a potpie out of you?

Limerick on February 29, 2008 at 4:40 PM

As I’ve read, more of a sensation than actual damage.

Frozen Tex on February 29, 2008 at 4:48 PM

This was on Future Weapons last year. Mac maybe lasted a second longer than this journalist. It’s wicked technology.

My only issue is the potential to cause a stampede where people may get crushed. Crowd size is critical. It is an excellent weapon for dispursing smaller groups though.

natesnake on February 29, 2008 at 4:49 PM

Frozen Tex on February 29, 2008 at 4:48 PM

I believe it is actually boiling the water in your skin. Human self preservation takes over very quickly though. I’m sure if you stand there long enough, you’re done.

lorien1973 on February 29, 2008 at 4:50 PM

Mac said it felt like an instant sunburn.

natesnake on February 29, 2008 at 4:50 PM

This is the device that would save American troops that idiot libs are already calling a torture device. Let’s put them all in it for at least five seconds.

fleiter on February 29, 2008 at 4:50 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I want one soooo badly!

emailnuevo on February 29, 2008 at 4:51 PM

For this to work the person has to understand that they need to get out of the way of it. How is this going to work against rioting 15th Centuriers?

P.S.

WTF ever happened to the “Gay Bomb”… that would’ve produced some epic Lulz…

liquidflorian on February 29, 2008 at 4:42 PM

They tested a couple in California and it had an unforseen side effect. Parades.

MirCat on February 29, 2008 at 4:51 PM

Frozen Tex on February 29, 2008 at 4:48 PM

Thanks.

natesnake on February 29, 2008 at 4:49 PM

I was thinking the same thing. I can hear the MSM screaming blood murder the first time it is used to disperse a crowd.

Limerick on February 29, 2008 at 4:51 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I want one soooo badly!

emailnuevo on February 29, 2008 at 4:51 PM

You probably already have one sitting in your kitchen…

TheBigOldDog on February 29, 2008 at 4:54 PM

I think every viewer should be able to control one of those guns…which would be located in-studio…

landlines on February 29, 2008 at 4:55 PM

fourstringfuror on February 29, 2008 at 4:44 PM

So what happens if you had gas?

Would you explode like a Burrito in a Microwave?

upinak on February 29, 2008 at 4:55 PM

hahaha @ mircat. too funny :D

drift on February 29, 2008 at 4:55 PM

Is that similar to Chris Matthew’s feeling up his leg? Obama ray!

d1carter on February 29, 2008 at 4:55 PM

Can we try this out at the next Code Pink rally? Can we? Please!

What, you want them to get hot and take their clothes off?

Ick.

darkpixel on February 29, 2008 at 4:56 PM

It’d have been cool if he had some microwavable popcorn in his pocket.

BowHuntingTexas on February 29, 2008 at 4:57 PM

darkpixel on February 29, 2008 at 4:56 PM

You are right. They may think they are hot flashes.

upinak on February 29, 2008 at 4:57 PM

I wish Dan Rather had been able to do this story instead.

LegendHasIt on February 29, 2008 at 5:01 PM

My only issue is the potential to cause a stampede where people may get crushed. Crowd size is critical. It is an excellent weapon for dispursing smaller groups though.

natesnake on February 29, 2008 at 4:49 PM

As I recall from the episode, the ideal use of this weapon is disarming one or a few people. It probably would not work well in a crowd control context, although I would pay good money to see them use it up here in Olympia :)

fourstringfuror on February 29, 2008 at 5:01 PM

So what happens if you had gas?

Would you explode like a Burrito in a Microwave?

upinak on February 29, 2008 at 4:55 PM

If you were trying to disarm an enemy, would you care?

fourstringfuror on February 29, 2008 at 5:02 PM

My only issue is the potential to cause a stampede where people may get crushed. Crowd size is critical. It is an excellent weapon for dispursing smaller groups though.

natesnake on February 29, 2008 at 4:49 PM

Depends on the crowd makeup, IMO. Fer instance, that large La Raza thingy,..plenty of sidestreets to escape, yet potential for nonlethal, yet painful bottlenecks. Or, just a slight touch for some New England Patriot or Philadelphia Eagle fans.

a capella on February 29, 2008 at 5:03 PM

Can we try this out at the next Code Pink rally? Can we? Please!

What, you want them to get hot and take their clothes off?

Ick.

darkpixel

thank you for killing a good time

Defector01 on February 29, 2008 at 5:03 PM

fourstringfuror on February 29, 2008 at 5:02 PM

Ahhh So THIS is the weapon that Kill Adam Gadahn! Guess you don’t mix heat ray and camel cheese.

upinak on February 29, 2008 at 5:04 PM

WTF ever happened to the “Gay Bomb”… that would’ve produced some epic Lulz…

liquidflorian on February 29, 2008 at 4:42 PM

They tested a couple in California and it had an unforseen side effect. Parades.

MirCat on February 29, 2008 at 4:51 PM

One of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long while!

stonemeister on February 29, 2008 at 5:05 PM

I would have said “my finger’s stuck!”

LtE126 on February 29, 2008 at 5:10 PM

a capella on February 29, 2008 at 5:03 PM

Belichick doesn’t need anymore ideas.

Limerick on February 29, 2008 at 5:11 PM

FYI Snappedshot is Snapped shut by the AP. The associated press has sent a cease and desist letter to snappedshot and he has taken his site off line.

He probably has a fair use exception but it probably depends on who appointed the judge who would apply the appropriate balancing test.

infidel2 on February 29, 2008 at 5:11 PM

Thanks for the links, AP. Always happy to amuse.

JammieWearingFool on February 29, 2008 at 5:11 PM

that is http://www.snappedshot.com/

infidel2 on February 29, 2008 at 5:12 PM

What ever happened to teh ghey ray?

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 29, 2008 at 5:12 PM

So what was the point of this report? Was he trying to make the military look stupid? “Gee, look at the cute wittle toys the soldiers are using. I hug trees, I can take it. OUCH… that’s hot!Mooooomy!”

cannonball on February 29, 2008 at 5:12 PM

This was on Future Weapons last year

That show also fell for the dragonskin body armor issue that ex poster Bryan did a great job of putting through the wringer.

F15Mech on February 29, 2008 at 5:14 PM

Ideas come to mind for a video-game: Ray the Drive-by-Media. Players could choose heat ray, crazy ray, puke ray, etc. and an array of MSM figures from Chris Matthews to Bill Moyers.

petefrt on February 29, 2008 at 5:15 PM

I believe it is actually boiling the water in your skin. Human self preservation takes over very quickly though. I’m sure if you stand there long enough, you’re done.

lorien1973 on February 29, 2008 at 4:50 PM

No, that would kill you dead if it actually boiled anything. This is more like putting you hand under a heat lamp, except the radiation causes the heat to penetrate more deeply. I suspect it would cause damage if you were exposed long enough, but considering the military is willing to do PR on journalists with it, I imagine the exposure time before danger is pretty long.

vonspringer on February 29, 2008 at 5:16 PM

vonspringer on February 29, 2008 at 5:16 PM

Had a good giggle at your post. It made me think of the poor devil looking at William Tell’s crossbow.

Limerick on February 29, 2008 at 5:20 PM

Is any weapon that can be defended by a mattress really that effective?

mattshu on February 29, 2008 at 5:21 PM

Perfect weapon for those who choose to chain themselves to doors, etc.

Wade on February 29, 2008 at 5:22 PM

Is any weapon that can be defended by a mattress really that effective?

mattshu on February 29, 2008 at 5:21 PM

I’m sure they can turn it up.

ronsfi on February 29, 2008 at 5:23 PM

I hate to be the killjoy but…
Is anyone else bothered by the way this guy was blabbing to the world ways to shield yourself from the beam? Granted he didn’t last too long, but in a battle zone (or riot zone) seconds are critical.

artlover on February 29, 2008 at 5:24 PM

What ever happened to teh ghey ray?

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on February 29, 2008 at 5:12 PM

remember Mike Gravel showed that the Greeks made their military ghey so they would fight for each other. after that they realized it was a bad move…

CaptainObvious on February 29, 2008 at 5:25 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8-0nmEbMV8

CaptainObvious on February 29, 2008 at 5:27 PM

I have to admit – I wanted to see them keep the beam on him and chase his ass into the woods – with a hot fanny.

jake-the-goose on February 29, 2008 at 5:34 PM

Is any weapon that can be defended by a mattress really that effective?

-mattshu on February 29, 2008 at 5:21 PM

Good point, although I see it as less of a weapon and more as a 21st century fire hose.

ChenZhen on February 29, 2008 at 5:47 PM

Isn’t this what the Huckster does to squirrels?

sleepy-beans on February 29, 2008 at 5:53 PM

Next thing is a lawsuit against the military for gelding the reporter.

kenoglesby on February 29, 2008 at 6:16 PM

I WANT TO SEE TEH GAY RAY!

SouthernGent on February 29, 2008 at 6:29 PM

Microwaved journalist, I like it.

EJDolbow on February 29, 2008 at 6:33 PM

DUMBASS!!!!

grtflmark on February 29, 2008 at 6:53 PM

Verdict: Slightly more awesome than the puke ray, slighty less awesome than the crazy ray.

Incorrect. The puke ray is more awesome because a 50 year-old self-important journalist wincing and saying “Ow! Ouch!” for a couple of seconds is nothing compared to having that same journalist closing his eyes and shouting “One-one thousa–BLAAAAAAAAAUUGHHHHH!!!” when zapped by the puke ray.

Is anyone else bothered by the way this guy was blabbing to the world ways to shield yourself from the beam?

You’re forgetting one thing: A mattress that size won’t fit in a Prius or bicycle and therefore won’t make it to the hippie riot.

ScottMcC on February 29, 2008 at 6:55 PM

Set it on Democrat sterilization mode and use it, liberally.

Speakup on February 29, 2008 at 7:08 PM

Hope Algore doesn’t see that….he’ll start billowing that it adds to global warming

wildweasel on February 29, 2008 at 7:12 PM

How long until Obama claims that we went to war without this most essential of tools and our soldiers were reduced to stealing matches from the enemy and throwing them back at them?

VolMagic on February 29, 2008 at 7:12 PM

Hilarious! Now if only it was real and not a reporter acting silly…

Viscount_Bolingbroke on February 29, 2008 at 7:39 PM

60 Minutes should use it on Andy Rooney whenever he blathers on a bit long.

bobthepeeler on February 29, 2008 at 8:57 PM

Hacksaw Jim Duggan would approve. USA! USA!

Seriously, I love military tech.

Codec717 on February 29, 2008 at 9:13 PM

Well I just changed my mind about the idea of having a virtual border fence ;)

irish_infidel on March 1, 2008 at 3:19 AM

Would’ve been funnier to see Katie Couric doing the demonstration. Especially if I was the one firing the beam.

Virus-X on March 1, 2008 at 4:58 AM

Set it on Democrat sterilization mode and use it, liberally.

Speakup on February 29, 2008 at 7:08 PM

Is there any other way when it’s in that mode?

James on March 1, 2008 at 9:05 AM

It is obvious he took a direct hit to the head and had his brain fried. To know the results and to continue is insanity. The DOD should have had the reporter sign the “I can tell you, but I would have to kill you” disclaimer. Then maybe the reporter and CBS would have been second thoughts.

However, I am concerned that the DOD would allow the existence of such weapons to be exposed. Doing so allows the enemy to develop counter measures (and you can bet that they won’t tell us about it). Then when deployed in battle our new weapon is useless.

Then what do you hear from the media? Claims the DOD is a giant cesspool that is wasting taxpayers money hand over fist.

MSGTAS on March 1, 2008 at 9:11 AM

Is there any other way when it’s in that mode?

James on March 1, 2008 at 9:05 AM

Its a bit redundant but its more fun that way.

Speakup on March 1, 2008 at 12:41 PM