Mother Jones brings you…Songs to Interrogate By

posted at 7:36 am on February 28, 2008 by see-dubya

Leftist magazine Mother Jones claims to have cobbled together a list of some of the music played by Gitmo interrogators to “prolong capture shock” and disorient the detainees. If you wondered what so-called “torture” sounds like, it sounds a lot like the parking lot of your local lower-middle-class high school.

Biggest Irony: Springsteen! He’ll be crushed, poor dear, since he’s one of the antiwar musicians behind the new antiwar record project described in the first item here. Antiwar moonbats Rage Against the Machine make the cut as well. Though neither can nudge the irony meter from where it got pegged last June: using moonbat Janeane Garofalo’s voice to upset captured jihadis. (“They hated it,” Lagouranis recalled. “Like, ‘Please! Just stop that voice!’ “)

And here’s a golden oldie from the charts of psychological mind-grinding: ACDC’s still on the list. “Highway to Hell” was used to drive Manuel Noriega out of his sanctuary with the Vatican Embassy. They’re back in this war, with some new aural assaults in America’s arsenal.

Strong language warning if you listen to the songs, especially Eminem’s repulsive “Kim”. Not what I’d want to hear were I to be captured, and a quick switch to the Barney theme song afterwards is, I’ll grant you, more than a bit unnerving. None of it’s exactly pleasant. It’s not supposed to be. But–it’s not torture.

When we had to initiate some blindfolded new pledges at the Fraternity for Fancy Lads, we went with the Dies Irae from Mozart’s Requiem. Of course, we then did things to those guys that the Gitmo interrogators would get court-martialed for. Exit question: what are your suggestions for a “welcome to Gitmo” soundtrack?

UPDATE: Of course, how could I forget? Landshark’s comment below reminds me that I had a little fun last month arranging one of the most disturbing sounds known to man–it’s safe for work, but may violate Geneva Conventions:

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Frankly, I’m surprised that the Gitmo interrogators haven’t started using that recent tape of Teddy Kennedy “singing” to that crowd in Laredo, Texas. Forget Springsteen and AC/AC! Play that song of Kennedy’s a couple of times at full blast, and you’ll have those detainees singing like canaries.

pilamaye on February 28, 2008 at 7:39 AM

Frankly, I’m surprised that the Gitmo interrogators haven’t started using that recent tape of Teddy Kennedy “singing” to that crowd in Laredo, Texas. Forget Springsteen and AC/AC! Play that song of Kennedy’s a couple of times at full blast, and you’ll have those detainees singing like canaries.

pilamaye on February 28, 2008 at 7:39 AM

Correction: AC/DC

pilamaye on February 28, 2008 at 7:45 AM

Earworms that get stuck in your head for days….

Aqua – Barbie Girl
Gwen – Hollaback Girl
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Badgers Badgers Badgers
Rhianna – Umbrella
Fergie – Glamourous
… and anything by the spice girls

E L Frederick (Sniper One) on February 28, 2008 at 7:45 AM

I’d just record a few hours of Air America radio, then every few minutes reduce the playback speed until by the end of hour 1 it would take a full minute to say,
“Bussssssssssssssssh iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiedddddddddddddddddd”

There’s also the Pavlovian bell gimmick. Ring a bell every time they’re fed, then after a week, just start ringing the bell every few hours. Torture by ding?

scottm on February 28, 2008 at 7:48 AM

Bad Brains – Banned in DC
It’s extremely aggro.

Art of Noise – Close to the edit
Art of Noise, nuf said.

Any full length CDs of throat singing, beat-boxing, or yodeling.

And for pure torture round out the list with a Danger Mouse remix of Bjork and Yoko Ono streaming from a floppy disk.

The Race Card on February 28, 2008 at 7:52 AM

Lou Reed “Metal Machine Music”
Almost any of the “American Idol” performances.

bbz123 on February 28, 2008 at 7:58 AM

— That Aussie group, Midnight Oil, singing “How Do We Sleep While Our Beds are Burning”
— Any Christian gospel music, heavy on the Jesus references
— The Pussycat Dolls “Doncha (wish your girlfriend was hot like me)”
— Celine Dion “My Heart Will Go On”
— Daughtry “Home”
— Daniel Powter “Have a Bad Day”
— Heart “Crazy on You”

None of these have been recommended because I personally don’t like them. It’s the irony of the subjects in the songs…hot girls, burning beds, bad days, going home, crazy stalker.

KrisinNE on February 28, 2008 at 8:00 AM

Well, everybody is going strong on the pop music, so I’ll go the other way. I think a steady diet of Stockhausen and Cecil Taylor will have them climbing the walls right quick.

Farmer_Joe on February 28, 2008 at 8:04 AM

I’ve always been partial to a Kipling reading/Yoko Ono combination, myself.

Ah, the memories.

James on February 28, 2008 at 8:06 AM

ANYTHING from Eddie Vetter or Pearl Jam.
That voice will depress anyone

JoeAvg on February 28, 2008 at 8:06 AM

Cornerstone Welcome To Forever”

DAT60A3 on February 28, 2008 at 8:06 AM

You find Mozart’s Requiem to be torturous? You disgust me, sir. :P

Jockolantern on February 28, 2008 at 8:09 AM

“Rape Me”, Nirvana; “Tip Toe Through The Tulips”, Tiny Tim; “Indian Love Call”, Slim Whitman; “Pulse of the Maggots”, Slipknot and thirty minutes of “ALL You Need Is Love”, The Beatles, as a palette cleanser before starting again.

Hening on February 28, 2008 at 8:09 AM

Have any of Al Franken’s books been released in audio format? Read by the author?

Either that, or an endless loop of Hillary cackling.

landshark on February 28, 2008 at 8:10 AM

Almost any of the “American Idol” performances.

bbz123 on February 28, 2008 at 7:58 AM

Playing the audition tapes would work.

Dave from Flint on February 28, 2008 at 8:12 AM

Infomercials!

Nothing like Ronco, Billy Mays, and K-TEL Records to suck your will to live.

DAT60A3 on February 28, 2008 at 8:15 AM

Didn’t Pat what’s-his-name do some heavy metal covers a few years back? I bet that’d just about kill anybody.

I second Tiny Tim from above, and double down with the Osmonds. Or, the “song that does not end” from the kid’s show Lambchop.

TexasDan on February 28, 2008 at 8:15 AM

“Touch Myself”

Don’t remember the band, but seems like a wonderful song to play for someone alone in a cell…….

pmoshields on February 28, 2008 at 8:16 AM

“Touch Myself”

Don’t remember the band, but seems like a wonderful song to play for someone alone in a cell…….

pmoshields on February 28, 2008 at 8:16 AM

The Di-Vinyls.

Typical One-Hit Wonder band.

pilamaye on February 28, 2008 at 8:23 AM

I dunno. If they listened to the congregation at my church try to hold a tune their brains would be jelly.

The moonbats want to make the election about GW and anything connected with GW. Reinforce the ‘misery’ of the nation being at war. Anything to keep peoples minds off the gentleman from Illinois.

Limerick on February 28, 2008 at 8:30 AM

Mexican Radio, by Wall of Voodoo
Video Killed The Radio Star, by The Buggles
One, by Metallica
She’s Got The Jack (live version), by AC/DC
the entire album Animals, by Pink Floyd…

mrfixit on February 28, 2008 at 8:33 AM

…you did notice that “Sesame Street” and “Barney” theme songs were also on the list?

I would have thought TNOYF’s “Jingle Bells In The Holy Land” would have made it…a classic (sigh). Maybe next jihad.

Lockstein13 on February 28, 2008 at 8:33 AM

I find all kinds of POP music torturous, but Enter Sandman? It’s is a work of art in my book. I guess the investigators think a really weird playlist combo will drive anyone crazy.

If you want a single terrorist-torture melody - here it is!

Aristotle on February 28, 2008 at 8:35 AM

Art of Noise – Close to the edit

Ahh, I remember that. Was such a strange combination of happy-go-yay-yay 80s feeling with an oddly serious dirge that popped up intermittently for no reason

And the ‘hey!’ got sampled for Prodigy’s Firestarter

Reaps on February 28, 2008 at 8:38 AM

That ‘music’ track is one of the scariest things I have heard this year. Whatever that predominating noise is is not a human laugh.

Ares on February 28, 2008 at 8:44 AM

Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Badgers Badgers Badgers

E L Frederick (Sniper One) on February 28, 2008 at 7:45 AM

Or even Llama Llama Duck

Either that, or an endless loop of Hillary cackling.

landshark on February 28, 2008 at 8:10 AM

That might be the one thing that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even terrorists.

Bigfoot on February 28, 2008 at 8:44 AM

WFMU has in the past done some way better ideas for this kind of stuff. MoJo’s attempt is weak, weak sauce; I could do better in five minutes and not even include Joan Baez…

Chap on February 28, 2008 at 8:47 AM

“Hillary
for you & me
take back our majority”

No, that would be too awful…

jgapinoy on February 28, 2008 at 8:49 AM

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

E L Frederick (Sniper One) on February 28, 2008 at 7:45 AM

PEANUT BUTTER JELL-Y! Oh, I hate you a lot right now.

Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music is a perfect selection, but I was leaning towards Suicide’s first album…the most annoying thing you’ll ever hear. You can’t play it too long, or you’ll start to actually imagine you hear a melody, so you should have, say, Laurie Anderson as a back-up.

emailnuevo on February 28, 2008 at 8:49 AM

Warren Zevon’s Werewolves Of London.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

pilamaye on February 28, 2008 at 8:55 AM

If I had to listen to David Gray I’d tell them what they wanted too…

And Macy Gray? Christ…I’d put on women’s panties, denounce my faith, and eat my own hand.

MadisonConservative on February 28, 2008 at 9:00 AM

Abba’s “Fernando” would make me give up my tribe. Just saying.

Sugar Land on February 28, 2008 at 9:00 AM

woow…they play Deicide for these people??? i mean, don’t get me wrong, i LOVE deicide and death metal in general…but that song is INSANE. almost too heavy for ME, let alone some jihadi lol

ernesto on February 28, 2008 at 9:01 AM

When I younger, I DJ’ed college radio–which is a good way to train yourself to not be annoyed by any noise. When I want to annoy other people with music, I go Japanese. The Japanese bands Acid Mothers Temple and Merzbow produce some of the most annoying noise known to man, but I’ve learned to like it. The secret to liking it is you must intellectually accept it’s ok to like Acid Mothers Temple and Merzbow as music. After a while, you’ll find it much more interesting than most pop music.

thuja on February 28, 2008 at 9:02 AM

Pantera – Cowboys From Hell

EnochCain on February 28, 2008 at 9:18 AM

Raspberry Beret?

Dear God, that’s inhuman!!! Drowning Pool is a nice touch, though.

Pablo on February 28, 2008 at 9:20 AM

Achy-Breaky Heart.

‘Nuf said.

Al-Ozarka on February 28, 2008 at 9:27 AM

I heard that waterboarding wasn’t what broke KSM…..it was Hillary Clinton’s spoken word book “it takes a village” played at high volume,

wildweasel on February 28, 2008 at 9:28 AM

Yodeling.

And lots of it.

profitsbeard on February 28, 2008 at 9:29 AM

thuja on February 28, 2008 at 9:02 AM

Good grief… Acid Mothers Temple is terrible. Heck, I’m a metal head (slipknot, Mastodon, Trivium, Genghis Tron, heck–even Cradle of Filth) and I couldn’t stand it for more than about 20 seconds…

But it’s certainly nothing like taking drills to the head, hands, eye removal, severing limbs, etc. from the Al-Queda torture manual.

mojojojo on February 28, 2008 at 9:29 AM

When I younger, I DJ’ed college radio–which is a good way to train yourself to not be annoyed by any noise.

thuja on February 28, 2008 at 9:02 AM

Same here Thuja! Owing to my era, I have a similar suggestion . . . The collected works of Yoko Ono. The only downside would be that there are certain cuts where you’d have to replace the paint peeled off the walls after every daily playing.

Another option, and you might really have to hunt for this one, comes from the disco era. For sheer monotony, you can’t beat the works of a German outfit called “Silver Convention”. I don’t think these girls used more than seven words in any song they recorded…Two or three hours of “Fly, Robin Fly” followed by a few more hours of “Get up and Boogie” will send even the most hardened type running full speed into the wall to try and break through. Grown men in workplaces where Top-40 radio of the era was piped in would cry out, “For God’s Sake…MAKE IT STOP!!!”

52Ranger on February 28, 2008 at 9:31 AM

This is why Allah finds Dies Irae to be tortuous. English translation of Dies Irae:

Day of wrath, day of anger
will dissolve the world in ashes,
as foretold by David and the Sibyl.
Great trembling there will be
when the Judge descends from heaven
to examine all things closely.

He simply doesn’t like to be reminded of what awaits for those who fail to meet the Judges standard. Fortunately there is one who has interceded in our behalf.

but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely[a] those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. – Hebrews 7:24-26

shick on February 28, 2008 at 9:33 AM

Hillary for certain, and not just the cackle; Slim Whitman (hey, it worked on the Martians); Bob Dylan; and a shopping mall Christmas Muzak soundtrack. Geneva Conventions be damned!

bookman on February 28, 2008 at 9:34 AM

If Enya’s not on that list, it’s incomplete.

Laura on February 28, 2008 at 9:40 AM

‘Welcome to the Jungle’- Guns and Roses
‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’- Theme to Wizard of Oz
Any disco

Nonsequitur on February 28, 2008 at 9:48 AM

Anything Celine.

Al-Ozarka on February 28, 2008 at 9:52 AM

Yoko Ono, that’s torture.

Geronimo on February 28, 2008 at 9:54 AM

Bob Dylan, Willy Nelson, Yoko Ono, and Barbara Striesand. What an unholy Quartet.

thekingtut on February 28, 2008 at 9:56 AM

Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Badgers Badgers Badgers

E L Frederick (Sniper One) on February 28, 2008 at 7:45 AM

I’m in tears! Can’t breathe!!

Seriously, having to listen to 0.2 seconds of Yoko Ono would have me confessing to things that happened before I was born.

Anything that was a hit in 1974 should do the trick too.

CurtZHP on February 28, 2008 at 10:12 AM

When that anti-war album comes out they should put that on a constant loop for the prisoners at Gitmo. It would be funny to use their own music to torture the terrorists.

Or they could make the terrorists watch Stuart Smalley on SNL.

Erockk on February 28, 2008 at 10:14 AM

What, no Slim Whitman or Zamfir, “Master of the pan flute”?

BallisticBob on February 28, 2008 at 10:22 AM

If Slim Whitman will not suffice, top it off with a quivering puddle of …

Roger Whittacker

juanito on February 28, 2008 at 10:29 AM

Anything by Pantera or Slayer…

revolutionismyname on February 28, 2008 at 10:29 AM

Actually, that’s a pretty cool playlist… I might have to copy that.

And that Dope song is pretty catchy! Die MF Die MF Die!!

Nineball on February 28, 2008 at 10:33 AM

“The Christmas Song”; Alvin and The Chipmunks,
“Danke Shoen”; Wayne Newton,
“Those Were The Days, My Friend”; Mary Hopkins,
“Mexican Radio”; Wall Of Voodoo.

Travis Bickle on February 28, 2008 at 10:47 AM

Needs more Tay Zonday.

Rip Ford on February 28, 2008 at 10:52 AM

I’d add any of the live Pigface albums.

The great irony being, of course, that the jihadists don’t like your music, Mr. Western Rock Star. No long hair, no tattoos.

In AmeriKKKa you have a multinational corporation paying you to rage against “the machine,” but you’d be jailed in Iran.

saint kansas on February 28, 2008 at 10:53 AM

See-Dubya’s effort was far more creative than what I had in mind.

Just as cringe-worthy, mind you, but more creative.

Great job!

landshark on February 28, 2008 at 10:54 AM

Ooh, add “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy to the list. That’ll show ‘em what they’re up against.

saint kansas on February 28, 2008 at 11:11 AM

Rock the Casbah by the Clash

Girls just want to have fun by Cindy Lauper

McArthur Park, just to confuse the hell out of them

Any King Crimson improv or Thrak Attack

Robert Fripp soundscapes will have them begging the guards to stop it.

Love Beach by Emerson Lake & Palmer (winner of the most wretched album by one of the greatest groups ever.)

Mallard T. Drake on February 28, 2008 at 11:38 AM

For a Gitmo soundtrack? … Anything by Pill/Johnny Rotton… I think my parents would go with that one!

4shoes on February 28, 2008 at 11:40 AM

Jim Nabors? Starland Vocal Band? Christopher Cross?

Sugar Land on February 28, 2008 at 11:47 AM

Two words: Safety Dance.

Blacklake on February 28, 2008 at 11:49 AM

Two words: Safety Dance.

Ha! I had a college roommate that listened to that incessantly. So does that mean *I* can call it ‘torture’ and get a big fat settlement from the state University system???
Here’s a link for the young’uns…

mojojojo on February 28, 2008 at 12:07 PM

Crank it up to ELEVEN!

This is the song that will drive you insane, yes it will grow inside your brain, you heard somebody singing it not knowing what it was, now you continue singing it forever just because this is the song that will drive you insane, yes it will grow inside your brain, you heard somebody singing it not knowing what it was, now you continue singing it forever just because this is the song that will drive you insane, yes it will grow inside your brain, you heard somebody singing it not knowing what it was, now you continue singing it forever just because this is the song that will drive you insane…

HockeyTemper on February 28, 2008 at 12:13 PM

— That Aussie group, Midnight Oil, singing “How Do We Sleep While Our Beds are Burning”

LMAO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1ZLqrEpXI

Out where the river broke
The bloodwood and the desert oak
Holden wrecks and boiling diesels
Steam in forty five degrees

Now thats one creepy dude..

Chakra Hammer on February 28, 2008 at 12:16 PM

Seriously, having to listen to 0.2 seconds of Yoko Ono would have me confessing to things that happened before I was born.

CurtZHP on February 28, 2008 at 10:12 AM

I completely agree, but as an additional motivation for the jihadi’s to provid intel they should include a poster sized picture of Yoko’s face…if that don’t do the trick I’m not sure what will!

When that anti-war album comes out they should put that on a constant loop for the prisoners at Gitmo. It would be funny to use their own music to torture the terrorists.

Erockk on February 28, 2008 at 10:14 AM

Great idea, I love the irony and the fact it would finally make them “useful tools” for a change!!

How about a continuous loop of Dan Fogelberg, my girlfriend loves his music, I leave the house when she plays his CD’s!

Having to listen to him constantly would make give up any and all intel that’s if I hadn’t stabbed sharpened pencil into my ears before that!

Liberty or Death on February 28, 2008 at 12:30 PM

Lords of Acid

Kini on February 28, 2008 at 12:41 PM

Needs more Tay Zonday.

Rip Ford on February 28, 2008 at 10:52 AM

Alright, now you’re just being sadistic!

CurtZHP on February 28, 2008 at 1:04 PM

The Mighty Chosen Soliders of Jihad can’t take Enter Sandman from Metallica?

THOUSANDS of little American boys play that song on Guitar Hero every day, you frickin’ wussies!

ScottMcC on February 28, 2008 at 1:45 PM

The most powerful song on the face of the earth. Lime in the Coconut. That song is the most powerful because you can’t get it out of your head with anything less than bagpipes. Warning, if you spend the rest of the day singing about limes in coconuts, then don’t blame me.

Snake307 on February 28, 2008 at 1:59 PM

Personally, I’d go for William Shatner’s version of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

That’ll put waterboarding to shame!!!!

HarryStar on February 28, 2008 at 2:00 PM

Oh come on Harry. Can’t you see all the Terrorists sitting and bobbing their heads singing “Lime in the Coconut” after their sessions?

Snake307 on February 28, 2008 at 2:03 PM

What no Hillary singing the National Anthem?

- The Cat

MirCat on February 28, 2008 at 2:51 PM

This ought to do the trick:

Let the Eagle Soar by John Ashcroft. That’d drive a yellow-ribbon “W ’04″ sticker sporting SUV driver to commit an act of terrorism. Even better if you hear “from rocky coast” as “from Iraqi coast,” heh.

Mark Jaquith on February 28, 2008 at 3:06 PM

Oh come on Harry. Can’t you see all the Terrorists sitting and bobbing their heads singing “Lime in the Coconut” after their sessions?

Snake307 on February 28, 2008 at 2:03 PM

OK, OK…Possibly. I’m thinking, “Don’t worry…Be Happy” bobbing up and down of course.

However, Mr. Cat brought up the National Anthem.

I’m thinking Roseann Barr or the woman who sang the National Anthem when Barack had his hand at the side.

HarryStar on February 28, 2008 at 3:12 PM

in 1985 there was a hardcore Metal band that included the members of 2 bands:Anthrax and Nuclear Assault called S.O.D. stormtroopers of death. They had a song called F**K THE MIDDLE EAST. I would suggest playing this repeatedly as a great song in fact translate it for them this way they get the message. I would venture to guess that the dead fat traitor might actually have owned this record back in the day.

Joey1974 on February 28, 2008 at 9:39 PM

In case anyone carse to know heres the lyrics it’s a 35 second song but it says everything in a short period of time written in 1985 relevant today more than ever:
F**k the middle east
There’s too many problems
They just get in the way
We sure could live without them
They hijack our planes
They raise our oil prices
We’ll kill them all and have a ball
And end their f***in’ crisis
BEIRUT, LEBANON-Won’t exist once we’re done
LIBYA, IRAN-We’ll flush the bastards down the can
SYRIANS and SHIITES-Crush their faces with our might
Then Israel and Egypt can live in peace without these d***s

Joey1974 on February 28, 2008 at 9:47 PM