Sheryl Crow: The “one square” TP debate was all a Rovian plot

posted at 5:55 pm on January 28, 2008 by Bryan

Finally, after nearly a year we get to the bottom of the story.

Last spring, you were held up as a parody of environmental correctness when you proposed restricting the use of toilet paper to one square per bathroom visit. What was that about? I think it’s a fantastic and eye-opening example of how the media is operated by political figures, of how Karl Rove was humiliated in the media and how, within 24 hours, he was able to humiliate me and take any sort of credibility away from me.

What are you saying? You think Karl Rove leaked the toilet-paper story to the press after you and Laurie David sparred with him about global warming at the White House correspondents’ dinner? I cannot tie him directly to that leak, but within 24 hours of our exchange, as we were leaving D.C., it was on the CNN ticker tape: “Sheryl Crow has proposed that we legislate toilet paper to one square.”

Did you ever actually suggest that? It was always a joke. It was part of a shtick…”

It’s not the first time Crow has said “one square” was a joke. But it is the first time she has tied it to Rove’s ubiquitous, evil schemes. As usual with these liberal accusations, though, it turns out to be a fantasy. “One square” didn’t originate with Turd Blossom. It originated with an article on the Huffington Post, which was written by none other than Sheryl Crow.

Unless…Rove is such a magnificent you-know-what that he somehow posed as Crow, wrote that post, and then leaked it to CNN. It must be that.

Or Crow is now joking about the plot about the joke.


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Don’t doubt it, man. Its all part of the liberal faith.

AbaddonsReign on January 28, 2008 at 5:57 PM

Liberals are so dumb…

Chudi on January 28, 2008 at 5:57 PM

Let’s see…

Chewbacca Defense? nope

Marquard Defense? nope

Satire Defense? ding ding ding!!

trubble on January 28, 2008 at 5:59 PM

I didn’t think Sheryl Crow could make herself look even more stupid after she suggested the one-square limit.

I was wrong.

thirteen28 on January 28, 2008 at 6:01 PM

Obviously, because Carl Rove has pleanty of time to humiliate libs while assisting in running the country.

Mazztek on January 28, 2008 at 6:01 PM

Uh, Sheryl, your tinfoil hat is showing.

SuperCool on January 28, 2008 at 6:02 PM

There are tards out there using one square. In the future they may be using three smooth pebbles.

BL@KBIRD on January 28, 2008 at 6:03 PM

liberal idiots

custer on January 28, 2008 at 6:03 PM

I just hope for Lance Armstrong’s sake that stupidity isn’t sexually transmitted.

ErikTheRed on January 28, 2008 at 6:05 PM

I still wouldn’t shake her hand.

Squarestate on January 28, 2008 at 6:05 PM

jesus christ….insane.

therightwinger on January 28, 2008 at 6:06 PM

It’s like Keith Olbermann’s little pretend news show: He’ll believe and “report” on the any conspiracy theories or allegations about Republicans (taken from such noted news sources as Media Matters or Think Progress); but completely dismiss stories about Islamist radicals plotting attacks.

For the left today, the true threat to their world comes not from Muslim extremists but from the Republican party.

Strange times we live in; very strange.

SteveMG on January 28, 2008 at 6:07 PM

There are tards out there using one square. In the future they may be using three smooth pebbles.

BL@KBIRD on January 28, 2008 at 6:03 PM

Or three seashells.

ErikTheRed on January 28, 2008 at 6:07 PM

Rove, you magnificent, stinky-fingered bastard!

lorien1973 on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

I cannot tie him directly to that leak

Sherryl you really should use more than one.

ronsfi on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Karl Rove, you magnificent, butt-wiping, bastard!

fourstringfuror on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

lorien, you’re disgusting.

fourstringfuror on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Satire Defense? ding ding ding!!

trubble on January 28, 2008 at 5:59 PM

it has a hoge component of the alger hiss, “i have no idea how he got access to my typewriter” defense, as well.

jummy on January 28, 2008 at 6:11 PM

Rove gave Crowe a hitler with that plot.

lorien1973 on January 28, 2008 at 6:11 PM

It’s the vast right wing conspiracy training its sights on an irrelevant musician!

darii on January 28, 2008 at 6:12 PM

All I wanna do is wipe my bum!
Where the sun don’t shine on my jokes on the boulevard.

Kini on January 28, 2008 at 6:13 PM

LoL

Erik, you’re my hero for making the Demolition Man reference.

HebrewToYou on January 28, 2008 at 6:15 PM

I also remember that “The View” and particularly bigmouthed Rosie O’Donnell had a good laugh (“Hey Sheryl!!! Have you seen my ass?!”) with the one-tissue comment as well. All part of the right wing smear machine.

Marcus on January 28, 2008 at 6:15 PM

It takes a whole year for the narcissism reflex to kick in?

melkor on January 28, 2008 at 6:17 PM

Diarrhea of the mouth.

SouthernGent on January 28, 2008 at 6:18 PM

Karl Rove he is all that and an excellent dancer too.

Buttercup on January 28, 2008 at 6:24 PM

Karl Rove, you magnificent you-know-what.

Ian on January 28, 2008 at 6:25 PM

Rove, you magnificent, stinky-fingered bastard!

lorien1973 on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Karl Rove, you magnificent, butt-wiping, bastard!

fourstringfuror on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Damn you all! I can’t stop laughing now!

My goodness, but I had no idea Sheryl was so mentally warped! Lance got out just in time…

Frozen Tex on January 28, 2008 at 6:29 PM

Wonder if it ever occured to these nimrods that if they would stop saying stupid shiite to begin with they wouldn’t have to lie and blame others for it later. They forget everything they say is either on camera or in print so we can rub it in their face later.

Buttercup on January 28, 2008 at 6:30 PM

It was always a joke. It was part of a shtick…”

Clown nose on, clown nose off.

Topsecretk9 on January 28, 2008 at 6:33 PM

I actually think the left loves Karl Rove, they attribute all their favorite mistakes to him (Maybe that’s what Cheryl’s song was about). Linky

Buzzy on January 28, 2008 at 6:35 PM

It was always a joke. It was part of a shtick…”

Jokes like that always leave a shticky mess.

TexasDan on January 28, 2008 at 6:37 PM

oh man this is good news, I’m glad to finally find out it was a joke. Now I can go back to 4 or 5 squares.

lan astaslem on January 28, 2008 at 6:41 PM

This probably goes all the way back to day camp
as young aspiring dogooder bleeding heart Liberals.
And their camp leader was one of those know it all,
caring touchy feely enviromental wacko’s that guilted
them into using one square of toilet paper!

canopfor on January 28, 2008 at 6:46 PM

Damm!t I should of gone for the
conspiracy angle,wait a minute
maybe Karl Rove ran the camp!haha

canopfor on January 28, 2008 at 6:49 PM

It’s not the first time Crow has said “one square” was a joke. But it is the first time she has tied it to Rove’s ubiquitous, evil schemes.

Didn’t we all suspect this all along? He took a break from sacrificing brown babies at Halliburton sponsored Illuminati meetings at Bohemian Grove to…. smear (no pun intended) Sheryl Crow.

Unless…Rove is such a magnificent you-know-what that he somehow posed as Crow, wrote that post, and then leaked it to CNN. It must be that.

I suspect Sheryl Crow has never existed… this is something he’s been planning for years, and it’s always just been Rove in a Sheryl Crow suit. He’s diabolical!

RightWinged on January 28, 2008 at 6:51 PM

Sheryl’s friend Laurie David was complaining about the eeeevils of toilet paper back in 2005. Did Rove set Laurie up to be satirized as well?

Ed Driscoll on January 28, 2008 at 6:51 PM

And yet, remarkably, we still managed to lose the House and Senate with Rove at the helm.

billy on January 28, 2008 at 6:51 PM

And yet, remarkably, we still managed to lose the House and Senate with Rove at the helm.

billy on January 28, 2008 at 6:51 PM

+1

JiangxiDad on January 28, 2008 at 7:00 PM

I gave Sheryl Crow a chance for a while because she’s a local girl and I wanted to like her. I bought a few of her albums and actually enjoyed a few songs here and there. Her lyrics are actually sometimes pretty good. In fact, her lyrics are her best talent.

However, I went to see her live a few years back. Since that concert I have not put one of her songs on. She was that horrible live. It was truly lame. Boring, off key, uninspired. The. Worst. Concert. I. Have. Ever. Seen. and keep in mind that years back I worked a HANSON show. Those guys put on a better show than she did.

Maybe we should elect her president. She’s obviously pretty smart.

Metro on January 28, 2008 at 7:04 PM

It’s the vast right wing conspiracy training its sights on an irrelevant musician!

darii on January 28, 2008 at 6:12 PM

She’s not irrelevant. She … well .. she had a song or two, which even though I can’t name were … um. And one was used in a car commercial.

Nevermind. I take it back.

yo on January 28, 2008 at 7:06 PM

Why does anyone care what Sheryl Crow says? I do like Rove though. He’s funny.

PoliticallyIncorrectSandy on January 28, 2008 at 7:08 PM

Yeah, ’cause Karl Rove has nothing better to do than to sit around and conspire to embarrass irrelevant, washed-up liberal musicians. Puhleeze.

CP on January 28, 2008 at 7:15 PM

Lets see if Karl can convince enough of those Evangelicals that Mormonism isn’t a cult.

If he can, then he can claim to be the magnificent you-know-what.

Chakra Hammer on January 28, 2008 at 7:15 PM

All I wanna do..
Is bark at the moon..
Until the sun.. comes.. up.. over
Santa Monica Boulevard…

UncleOlaf on January 28, 2008 at 7:17 PM

“Rove planted that voice in my head, and made me say it”…stated Crow in an interview…”I knew they were evil, I didn’t have any idea how evil”, she went on speaking of the Republican party, “all I know is every time I see his picture he disgusts me, but I have an urge to call him a magnificent bastard, it’s like they have complete control of me…”

right2bright on January 28, 2008 at 7:26 PM

Obviously Karl Rove used the Orbital Mind Control Lasers, which Ronald Reagon secretly deployed in orbit as part of his “Star Wars” Strategic Defense Initiative, to take over Sheryl’s mind and make her come up with and promote the “one square” plan.

Rip Ford on January 28, 2008 at 7:30 PM

Ignorance IS bliss.
The more I learn of the artists (actors, singers, songwriters, etc) that I know…the less I wish I knew.

Great talent….but now I have to consciously turn off the part of my brain that knows they are dumbasses to enjoy the works.

bridgetown on January 28, 2008 at 7:47 PM

Lets see if Karl can convince enough of those Evangelicals that Mormonism isn’t a cult.

If he can, then he can claim to be the magnificent you-know-what.

Chakra Hammer on January 28, 2008 at 7:15 PM

After Huckabee, someone needs to convince me that Evangelicals aren’t a cult.

Haldol on January 28, 2008 at 7:51 PM

Obviously Karl Rove used the Orbital Mind Control Lasers…
Rip Ford on January 28, 2008 at 7:30 PM

You fool, now everyone knows…

right2bright on January 28, 2008 at 7:54 PM

I suggest Crowe use tree moss…….

No wonder Landis dumped her…….after getting some of course!

The ultimate male superiority dis…….

awesum on January 28, 2008 at 7:56 PM

You fool, now everyone knows…

right2bright on January 28, 2008 at 7:54 PM

It’s okay. The fluoride in the water will make them forget.

Rip Ford on January 28, 2008 at 7:57 PM

I mean lance…….

awesum on January 28, 2008 at 7:58 PM

Let’s face it while her music isn’t bad, she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Not to mention way to skinny for my taste.

limowilliam on January 28, 2008 at 8:08 PM

Wow what a genius he is. To paraphras Crowe herself, he’s not only strong enough to be her man, he’s smart enough to be her.

PowWow on January 28, 2008 at 8:08 PM

LMAO

Opinionnation on January 28, 2008 at 8:09 PM

Rove, you magnificent, stinky-fingered bastard!

lorien1973 on January 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Lorien, I’m filing suit. To repay me for the pain and suffering induced by your comment when Jack Daniels shot out of my nose.

Comment of the month!

conservnut on January 28, 2008 at 8:10 PM

If Rove can do that I expect TMZ will be knocking on his door offering him a job.

Jacob Hammond on January 28, 2008 at 8:18 PM

“I was for single sheet per sitting before I was against it”
We need a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell‘ policy regarding the political views of entertainers!!
She can sing like an angel though:

Warning: this video displays graphic images of liberal know it alls attempting to breach your conservative defenses with displays of exceptional talent.

jimkaray on January 28, 2008 at 8:41 PM

SO when is the duet between Cheryl Crow and MC Rove coming out?

Bigfoot on January 28, 2008 at 8:51 PM

How freakin ridiculous. Everyone knows Karl was busy fixing American Idol, MSNBC ratings, WNBA games, Dancing With The Stars and that nasty Southern Kissin Cousin Transexuals fight on Jerry Springer.

oakpack on January 28, 2008 at 9:12 PM

Crow is a joke.

Big John on January 28, 2008 at 9:12 PM

Is there no limit to Rove’s evil powers?

The twit is seriously going on about a toilet paper conspiracy?

Give me a break!

SimplyKimberly on January 28, 2008 at 9:13 PM

What a liar…she must be a liberal.

Livefreeordie on January 28, 2008 at 9:50 PM

She’s the joke. Why is she supposed to be famous?

Vote Sauron 08 on January 28, 2008 at 9:57 PM

After Huckabee, someone needs to convince me that Evangelicals aren’t a cult.

Haldol on January 28, 2008 at 7:51 PM

“Hey people, how about some D@mn applause already!!?”

:)

Chakra Hammer on January 28, 2008 at 10:20 PM

NEXT WEEK:

Cheryl Crowe and Laurie David will reveal Karl Rove’s SHOCKING scheme to pollute our precious bodily fuids!

SuperCool on January 28, 2008 at 10:25 PM

If I’m thinking loony
I should just stay mum
If I’m spouting loony
That why the heck I sound so… dumb.

rockbend on January 28, 2008 at 10:30 PM

Beautiful. Talented. Dumb.
(No, not Rove.)

whitetop on January 28, 2008 at 10:39 PM

Beautiful. Talented. Dumb.
(No, not Rove.)

whitetop on January 28, 2008 at 10:39 PM

Who then? Crow? Ughh, I’ll take Rove, thanks.

Grayson on January 28, 2008 at 10:51 PM

Still, I have this need to use the Purel every time I touch (or am touched) by a Liberal!!

landlines on January 28, 2008 at 11:08 PM

Or Crow is now joking about the plot about the joke.

Naah, unlikely.

More likely, Crow believes nobody will bother to find out how it started, and will simply forget reality in favor of her pleasant, and meme-driven lie.

Because we’ve always been at war with EastAsia…

gekkobear on January 28, 2008 at 11:25 PM

The price of vanity…and stupidity.

yeah, no one would notice, yeah, no one is smart enough to figure out your full of shit Sherry.

Keep cashing those checks.

benrand on January 28, 2008 at 11:39 PM

Good grief! And to think this woman was allowed to adopt? What an idiot.

Winebabe on January 29, 2008 at 12:50 AM

“…he was able to humiliate me and take any sort of credibility away from me.”

Sheryl, honey, how can it be taken from thee that which thou dost not possess?

labrat on January 29, 2008 at 2:05 AM

Sheryl Crow’s Indian name is “Stinky Fingers”.

N. O'Brain on January 29, 2008 at 8:25 AM

Time to rework some lyrics from the first Hot Air Sheryl Crow thread:

If your finger’s crappy,
It can’t be that bad.
If you poked right through it,
Then why the hell are you so sad?

-or-

I put your TP away.
Sat down and grunted today.
I can’t wipe myself
With just one square, next to her.

James on January 29, 2008 at 8:34 AM

Sheryl Crow proves without a doubt that there are those among us that we wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.

volsense on January 29, 2008 at 8:38 AM

Karl Rove caused me to be an underachiever. Not sure how he did it, but he did. ROVE!

Kevin M on January 29, 2008 at 12:59 PM

Or Crow is now joking about the plot about the joke just another vacuous, braindead lefty celebrity stooge.

FTFY.

BKennedy on January 29, 2008 at 1:29 PM

Dare I say….Rove you magnificent Bastard!

kcd on January 29, 2008 at 1:47 PM

Hey Sheryl, eat……crow.

RobCon on January 29, 2008 at 3:46 PM

Now if we can only figured out how Karl Rove impersonated Sheryl Crow in that Huffington Post piece, then we’ll have a view into his Magnificent Evil Genius. Thank God he’s on our side.

Tantor on January 29, 2008 at 4:03 PM