Manufactured outrage of the day: “Presidential Paintball”

posted at 12:39 pm on January 22, 2008 by Allahpundit

They took a barebones FPS, added a political angle to entice players, removed any element of murder or physical harm to avoid controversy, and for their trouble they stand accused of encouraging aspiring young assassins. Ever played as the GLA in “Command and Conquer: Generals”? Then you’re probably already planning a chemical weapons attack on the United States, aren’t you, you terrorist? Alert Mitt Romney!


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I was one of those proud Generals players. Damn that was an awesome game. Let’s face it, the US sucked in that game. All air power, no punch. China was the best. All nuclear, all the time. GLA was fun too.

Baphomet on January 22, 2008 at 12:44 PM

Ok, I stink…only made it to stage three…

Jezla on January 22, 2008 at 12:45 PM

Just beat it with John McCain

Baphomet on January 22, 2008 at 12:50 PM

That was not realistic at all. Everyone knows that it only takes one paintball to make Breck Girl cry like a baby.

MarkoMancuso on January 22, 2008 at 12:51 PM

Mitt Romney can officially defeat the Democratic nominee. I just did it.

That darn Giuliani, though – he’s a good shot.

emailnuevo on January 22, 2008 at 12:52 PM

US sucked? No way, the laser general was unbeatable! But GLA was too much fun!

Ok, AP…THANK YOU SO MUCH for this game!!!! I dunno what made my day better, Adam Sandler’s movie bit with the Hezbollah voice mail tech support system, the CNC Generals reference, or this game

Must say,
McCain was a natural choice when it comes to tactics. Hillary’s butt is impossible to miss, and the only thing easier to hit is Romney’s head. Ahhh, to smear green goo at 300fps into his scalp…palatable.

scottm on January 22, 2008 at 12:52 PM

It’s way less damaging to real life than a debate between The Hildebeest and Osama Obama.

No one really gets hurt in the game. The likely result of the election will probably be disaster.

MrScribbler on January 22, 2008 at 12:52 PM

heheh, that was kinda fun! Of course, I like the dopey, simple games anyway

JamesLee on January 22, 2008 at 12:54 PM

That’s what has been missing from the debates- Paintball!

Just imagine the public interest if Clinton and Obama were able to whip out paintball guns and nail Edwards when he begins droning on about “two Americas!”

highhopes on January 22, 2008 at 12:57 PM

Agree on having paintball in the debates and most certainly agree on cherishing the Generals reference.

scottm,

P.S: China Nuke General bury yo’ ass!

Baphomet on January 22, 2008 at 1:00 PM

Ever played as the GLA in “Command and Conquer: Generals”?

Hell no! The USA Superlaser General is always the most powerful.

Mmmm…barbecued terrorist bases.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 1:01 PM

Sorry Baphomet, but on limited superweapons the Chinese nuke general is an asian version of fat bastard from Austin Powers.

Agreed on paintball debates! And oh how McCain would OWN the field. Love to see Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich go at it with a pair of Matrix’

scottm on January 22, 2008 at 1:04 PM

What put that story over the top was the close:

Of course, the imagery of Obama and Clinton, both of whom have been the target of threats and receive Secret Service protection, being targeted in such a manner–by children, no less–might be seen as troubling in some quarters.

WANT TO PLAY THE GAME? Just click here.

After complaining about the horrible nature of the game, Smoking Gun (should they really be lecturing anybody with a name like that?) links to the game!?! Guess a few more website hits is worth the supposed risk of an actual hit on a presidential candidate.

wardrobedoor on January 22, 2008 at 1:07 PM

Riiight. Like there are a lot of minor children who are political junkies out there who can’t wait to play this “assasins” game.

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 1:08 PM

There was something enjoyable about tagging Mac with a paintball.

Spirit of 1776 on January 22, 2008 at 1:11 PM

That wasn’t so bad. You just gotta keep the fire up and keep their gun down, just like in real paintball. Bring the heat!

TheGoblinKing on January 22, 2008 at 1:12 PM

Err, Allahpundit, this is not an FPS, its a side scroller.

Vincenzo on January 22, 2008 at 1:12 PM

I played Mitt and the hardest one was McCain, if only because he’s so damn fast…how can a 90 year old guy be that fast???

TheGoblinKing on January 22, 2008 at 1:13 PM

Good clean fun

LimeyGeek on January 22, 2008 at 1:19 PM

23960 not bad I suppose. McCain was fast for an old guy.

Les in NC on January 22, 2008 at 1:22 PM

If only we could vote like this. But with real bullets

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:22 PM

I refuse to play because I don’t like any of the choices.

ThackerAgency on January 22, 2008 at 1:23 PM

What happens after “stage clear”? I wipe out Hillary and don’t get a reward?

JustTruth101 on January 22, 2008 at 1:24 PM

I played Obama so I could defeat Clinton. I won.

BlackCapitalist on January 22, 2008 at 1:27 PM

JustTruth101 on January 22, 2008 at 1:24 PM

Move to the right to get to the next stage.

Les in NC on January 22, 2008 at 1:27 PM

11870 with Mitt. Wasted way too much ammo shooting at John Edwards. Kept protecting his hair.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 1:28 PM

Kucinich and Ron Paul would have an unfair advantage in this game because Kucinich can shoot from his UFO and Ron Paul can shoot from the Blimp.

BlackCapitalist on January 22, 2008 at 1:28 PM

You get a 1000 bonus points for hitting the defeatocrat logo.

Les in NC on January 22, 2008 at 1:29 PM

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:22 PM

No. That stuff belongs on DU, thank you very much.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 1:30 PM

I refuse to play until they develop the feces ball – it’s what these pandering, political pigs in perpetuity deserve.

OhEssYouCowboys on January 22, 2008 at 1:30 PM

BlackCapitalist on January 22, 2008 at 1:28 PM

Don’t forget Hillary’s ability to shoot from her broom! ;-0

highhopes on January 22, 2008 at 1:31 PM

Did anyone else seem to be getting hit from behind while fighting Billary?

Les in NC on January 22, 2008 at 1:34 PM

I would actually decide my vote for a national election if the candidates played a game of Civilization or Age of Empires live on national television. I want to know how they really think and manage.

Baphomet on January 22, 2008 at 1:35 PM

If only we could vote like this. But with real bullets
Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:22 PM

I just took a brief look at you blog. It’s “sheer” stupidity, hon. Kinda like your comment.

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 1:35 PM

Id prefer rotten tomatoes less violent but more messy

William Amos on January 22, 2008 at 1:35 PM

Who’s outraged? I just got to smack down the politicians I most would like to smack down.

That’s catharsis baby.

Nessuno on January 22, 2008 at 1:36 PM

Did anyone else seem to be getting hit from behind while fighting Billary?

Les in NC on January 22, 2008 at 1:34 PM

When you fight Hillary its 2 vs one. You get one you get the other

William Amos on January 22, 2008 at 1:37 PM

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 1:35 PM

Quit agreeing with me. Makes me nervous. :P

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 1:38 PM

They had to take out Thompson because he kept ripping people’s heads off.

TexasDan on January 22, 2008 at 1:38 PM

Edwards wins but there was a three minute time penalty on account of his barber.

Dusty on January 22, 2008 at 1:42 PM

Man is Ron Paul there or is that a neocon Conspiracy to exclude him from the rest of the candidates ?

William Amos on January 22, 2008 at 1:47 PM

Too fun! Thanks…

Tim on January 22, 2008 at 1:47 PM

Dems would be wise to nominate Obama. He’s skinny and hard to hit.

viking999 on January 22, 2008 at 1:50 PM

I think Mitt Romney is the strongest character in that game. They must have factored in his experience as a lifelong varmint hunter.

medguy on January 22, 2008 at 1:51 PM

kind of cute…i like the look on Mitt’s face when I reload.

JustTruth101 on January 22, 2008 at 1:53 PM

BTW question arent some of these candidates gun grabbers ? Who among them wants to take away your paint gun ?

William Amos on January 22, 2008 at 1:54 PM

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 1:30 PM

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 1:30 PM

Learn to lighten up Francis.

Manufactured outrage indeed… harumpf!

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:55 PM

I just took a brief look at you blog. It’s “sheer” stupidity, hon. Kinda like your comment.

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 1:35 PM

Gee, don’t I just feel admonished by your comment… geee….

And I’m not your hon…. hon..

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:57 PM

Learn to lighten up Francis.

Manufactured outrage indeed… harumpf!

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:55 PM

Talking about firing real bullets at presidential candidates?

Dumb, not manufactured.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 2:06 PM

Dumb, not manufactured.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 2:06 PM

Bit over the top, eh?…. so sue me

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 2:10 PM

24750 as Mitt.

wearyman on January 22, 2008 at 2:11 PM

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:57 PM

Don’t feel too bad. ABC used the phrase “well-quaffed” to describe Mitt’s hair recently, so you could always pretend that “shear stupidity” was some kind of clever pun.

Your bullet comments are a bit harder to explain.

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 2:11 PM

If only we could vote like this. But with real bullets

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 1:22 PM

In that case, can we put you on the ballot? Just sayin’.

fourstringfuror on January 22, 2008 at 2:11 PM

I am not into games but this was fun

allrsn on January 22, 2008 at 2:12 PM

Your bullet comments are a bit harder to explain.

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 2:11 PM

Don’t you know that video games depicting violence and such promotes violence? What’s to explain, it is what it is.

Dare to be stupid.

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 2:15 PM

All you people have too much time on your hands. Besides, I never had video games growing up, we had a 9 inch b&w TV until I went to college

flytier on January 22, 2008 at 2:16 PM

In that case, can we put you on the ballot? Just sayin’.

fourstringfuror on January 22, 2008 at 2:11 PM

If nominated, I will not run.

If elected, I will not serve.

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 2:17 PM

Don’t you know that video games depicting violence and such promotes violence? What’s to explain, it is what it is.

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 2:15 PM

Yup, before long we’ll have drive-by paintballing.

Oh, the humanity.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 2:17 PM

29230 – kept killing the donkey signs like nobody’s business – they were irritating. Anyone else notice that Obama an Edwards go down like light weights? And Hillary can take a beating!

**brilliant**

Simonsez on January 22, 2008 at 2:20 PM

Oh, the humanity.

MadisonConservative on January 22, 2008 at 2:17 PM

I think you got my sick sense of humor… for what it is.

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 2:23 PM

Don’t you know that video games depicting violence and such promotes violence? What’s to explain, it is what it is.

Dare to be stupid.

Kini on January 22, 2008 at 2:15 PM

Yes, indeed, if you click on this link you will find comments I made on this topic awhile ago.

However, as I also noted earlier, this is a game for adult political junkies and kids aren’t the, er, target.

What this has to do with YOU encouraging violence is beyond me. It would have been a lot smarter to retract your comment hours ago.

Buy Danish on January 22, 2008 at 2:38 PM

I admit, the GLA were the most fun to play. The tunnels ruled…

whatthecrap on January 22, 2008 at 2:44 PM

ok I am having way to much fun with this…lol

sko17 on January 22, 2008 at 3:21 PM

34450 with Mitt. Who needs Rambo or Chuck?

Les in NC on January 22, 2008 at 4:37 PM

I won with Rudy!

Chakra Hammer on January 22, 2008 at 4:50 PM

Go Rudy!

Chakra Hammer on January 22, 2008 at 4:52 PM

I did well with Mitt. Then I tried Edwards because I noticed he was lowest in the poll. I did the best when I used Silky. I hope that ultimately isn’t the case.

shick on January 22, 2008 at 7:33 PM

Baphomet on January 22, 2008

I, too, am a proud Generals fan! I am honored to share a forum with a brother.

JellyToast on January 23, 2008 at 7:26 AM