Video: The three planks of Fred’s platform
posted at 12:45 pm on December 18, 2007 by Bryan
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Am I a bad person for liking this unauthorized, not connected with the campaign in any way ad a whole lot better than Huck’s official Christmas ad? Yeah, probably. But if loving this ad is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Plus, being right isn’t worth getting Fred angry with me.
Exit question: Who would win a Fred Thompson-Chuck Norris staredown?
(h/t Right Wing News)
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4. Shoot the Blimp.
James on December 18, 2007 at 12:49 PM
Why are the amateurs so much better than professionals?
right2bright on December 18, 2007 at 12:52 PM
lol
tlynch001 on December 18, 2007 at 12:53 PM
PUNCH THE HIPPIES! HA!
The new shirt for Fred’s campaign?
Fred, ’cause Chuck’s already tired from the beat-down put on him by John Bolton’s mustache.
Frozen Tex on December 18, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Exit question: Fred would stare him down. At the last minute, Chuck would try a jab with the fist within his beard, which Fred would stop with his hand and laugh that Tennessee chuckle.
MadisonConservative on December 18, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Oh, and that video just solidified any thoughts of voting for anyone other than Thompson on the GOP ticket.
MadisonConservative on December 18, 2007 at 12:55 PM
The professionals have to be denutted.
It’s a law or something..
ChrisM on December 18, 2007 at 12:57 PM
Who is the band? sounds like hed PE
abinitioadinfinitum on December 18, 2007 at 12:58 PM
Love, love, LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!
;-)
Pachyderm on December 18, 2007 at 1:00 PM
4. Protect the Asbestos
Make millions!
5. Blow off the voters
Look independent
6. Funnel money
Advance personal gain!
BKennedy on December 18, 2007 at 1:04 PM
Fred Thompson sound suspiciously like Dick Cheney (content warning).
baldilocks on December 18, 2007 at 1:04 PM
Best Fred movie: Baby’s Day Out. It’s about some goofy kidnappers & how the child keeps fooling them. Fred plays a detective. Fun, funny, cute-cute movie.
jgapinoy on December 18, 2007 at 1:05 PM
Fred Thompson sound suspiciously like Dick Cheney (content warning).
hmmm…lets see….
Bald?
Check.
Loves to Kill Terrorists?
Check.
Nearly Seven Feet Tall?
Check.
I dont think he’s Dick Cheney – I think he’s Dick Cheneys…
you know what im talking about.
amish on December 18, 2007 at 1:08 PM
Individuals don’t get threatened with lawsuits for saying something truthfully even if it isn’t politically correct.
I remember my dad used to speak his mind, often to the embarrasement of us kids, but you know I wish there were more people around today who would do it. His generation was the last to not have to suffer under the anguish of shutting up out of fear of “offending” somebody. Can somebody give me the part in the Constitution that protects your right to not be offended?
LakeRuins on December 18, 2007 at 1:11 PM
Don’t you have an anti-gun rally you should be at?
MadisonConservative on December 18, 2007 at 1:12 PM
Sounded to me like “Disturbed”.
flipflop on December 18, 2007 at 1:14 PM
You can’t tell me that it wouldn’t be awesome to Fred! supporters show up to every debate wearing that t-shirt and chanting “Punch the Hip-pees, Punch the Hip-pees” when the retard Ronulans start in with their “9/11 was an inside job” crap.
ScottMcC on December 18, 2007 at 1:14 PM
That was awesome!
Go, Fred, go! So I can sell more t-shirts!
frankj on December 18, 2007 at 1:14 PM
I already answered that in the first Fred Facts list – They have already agreed not to stare each other down, as the only win would involve the death of the other by old age.
Life’s too short to waste time in stare contests when there are so many hippies to punch.
eeyore on December 18, 2007 at 1:16 PM
Phear the Phred.
Or else.
Zach on December 18, 2007 at 1:16 PM
Great job, Frankj and friends!
aero on December 18, 2007 at 1:18 PM
Fun ad. Just wish he would use it. Now if we can just get some CGI of Fred kicking Martin Sheen’s fanny out the front door of 1600 PA ave.
Limerick on December 18, 2007 at 1:18 PM
Agreed.
Too bad Hawkins didn’t use Stuck Mojo’s Open Season instead. All it takes is for one dumbass Ronulan or Democrat to bitch to YouTube about a copyright violation and we’ll get the “THIS VIDEO IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE” message every time we clicky-click the Fred! vid.
ScottMcC on December 18, 2007 at 1:19 PM
Pretty sweet…do you think it’ll help us in Iowa? Heh.
NickTx on December 18, 2007 at 1:19 PM
Best comment of the day!
Darksean on December 18, 2007 at 1:20 PM
I prefer the “aw shucks” Country boy Fred than this
imaginary Kung Fu “tough as rusty nails” Fred in this piece.
Fred never struck me as Genl. Curtis LeMay.. he always struck me as more Sam Ervin.
I wonder how many young’uns know what I mean….
Always Right on December 18, 2007 at 1:20 PM
You may be right, I don’t know that song?
abinitioadinfinitum on December 18, 2007 at 1:23 PM
I dunno but carpet bombing does get the peoples attention.
Limerick on December 18, 2007 at 1:24 PM
Right You Are
abinitioadinfinitum on December 18, 2007 at 1:26 PM
Ah, OK. I hadn’t heard that particular Disturbed song before.
flipflop on December 18, 2007 at 1:30 PM
Fred Dalton Thompson the next POTUS! Yeah baby!
Ex-tex on December 18, 2007 at 1:30 PM
I will be interested in seeing the polling results following the endorsement of Rep King. If Fred can make a big move in Iowa in the next couple of weeks, he could make things very interesting. If Fred can keep himself in contention, he could benefit from the eventual “Huckabust”.
chief on December 18, 2007 at 1:31 PM
good suggestion, excellent tune!
abinitioadinfinitum on December 18, 2007 at 1:34 PM
Don’t forget, Fred’s childhood nickname “Mr. President“
Iblis on December 18, 2007 at 1:35 PM
Because they can get away with it.
More, more!
Speakup on December 18, 2007 at 1:36 PM
Helen Thomas.
She would scare the crap out of both of them.
MB4 on December 18, 2007 at 1:43 PM
FrnakJ proving why he’s the man.
Veeshir on December 18, 2007 at 1:54 PM
Err, I mean, Frnakj proving why he’s the man.
Veeshir on December 18, 2007 at 1:55 PM
John Hawkins put it together. I’ve been wanting to do a video with the facts, but I’m not really that good at these. I think Hawkins did an awesome job.
frankj on December 18, 2007 at 1:55 PM
LMAO! That’s great!
Redhead Infidel on December 18, 2007 at 1:58 PM
MadisonConservative on December 18, 2007 at 1:59 PM
Bryan…can you swipe that Fred image at the end and use it on the home page here at HA? Pretty Please?
RushBaby on December 18, 2007 at 2:01 PM
Dangit Frank!!
Fred is speaking locally on Thursday. It’s too late to get the shirt in time or both Hubs and I would show up wearing it. I haven’t decided on a candidate yet, but I’d wear it if only to see the look on his face.
Thanks for another great shirt/video.
Tink on December 18, 2007 at 2:05 PM
A new cancer treatment is being derived from some Fred Thompson stem cells. They put one stem cell into a patient, then it goes around and kicks cancer’s ass until it’s all gone.
Same treatment works for shingles, ALS, MS, anthrax, and liberalism.
Nethicus on December 18, 2007 at 2:10 PM
Stop back by and let us know what you thought about it, please.
ChrisM on December 18, 2007 at 2:14 PM
Is it possible to engineer an airborne variant? That we can spray across the country, nay, the whole world?
Frozen Tex on December 18, 2007 at 2:15 PM
Where do I get a shirt? I need a bunch, stat!
RushBaby on December 18, 2007 at 2:16 PM
With the 1:07 frame
RushBaby on December 18, 2007 at 2:19 PM
Fred would slightly beat up Chuck, but decisively.
It’s when Jeri’s twin torpedos get involved and send chuck back to infancy that Chuck gets his All-American ass beat.
benrand on December 18, 2007 at 2:34 PM
I still like referring to them as “mountains majesty”. Very patriotic.
Darksean on December 18, 2007 at 2:36 PM
Love it. I hope he’s in the mix somewhere. Prez, VP…he’s a good man.
LtE126 on December 18, 2007 at 2:44 PM
Fred is the next potus fo sho!
TheSitRep on December 18, 2007 at 2:45 PM
n’est–ce pas? Not at all. Helen’s eyelashes would flutter as she lost bladder control.
In symphonic process, having merely concluded the campaign’s exposition we all now enter the development section known for volatile thematic and harmonic progressions. Not until we reach the subsequent recapitulation will the poco a poco animato to the stretto coda culminate the greatest campaigns.
That ad work is powerful, molto fuoco!
Great volunteer job! Blaze the trail, boys and girls. Wait not for Fred to speak for you when you can responsibly raise your voice in support of OUR platform.
Responsible Response : Conservative Republican
maverick muse on December 18, 2007 at 2:55 PM
It is Disturbed. It was Stone Cold Steve Austin’s intro music when he was a regular in the WWE. Don’t ask how I know that.
saltydogg14 on December 18, 2007 at 2:59 PM
How do you know that?
Darksean on December 18, 2007 at 3:00 PM
Stone Cold Fred Thompson?
Frozen Tex on December 18, 2007 at 3:07 PM
frankj has the link up thread..he’s got em at imao.
Chris, it’s mid day, I’ll be there if I’m done at work early enough – if so, I’ll see if I can video and send it in.
Hubs is going for sure, he’s already a decided Fred backer – I’m not set on anyone yet, it’s still a long way til Jan 3.
Tink on December 18, 2007 at 3:21 PM
Totally Fricken Awesome!!
Thanks for posting this Byran, and thanks to frankj!
AZCON on December 18, 2007 at 3:25 PM
and the correct answer is Jack Bauer
Mojack420 on December 18, 2007 at 3:26 PM
Hey, Jack Bauer is my homeboy.
Frozen Tex on December 18, 2007 at 3:40 PM
7. Ignore BKennedy
msipes on December 18, 2007 at 3:45 PM
About half way through this I thought “I wonder if FrankJ was involved.” Then I saw the credits. Well done.
Too bad candidates can’t afford to do this for real. This would play well during the Super Bowl with all the right people.
JackOfClubs on December 18, 2007 at 4:22 PM
Fred Thompson knows deadly Headbob Gung Fu. A few well placed headbobs would completely distroy Chuck Norris’ equilibrium allowing Fred drop him with a final and definitive bob.
Mallard T. Drake on December 18, 2007 at 4:30 PM
Just bought the shirt. Hope it gets here in time to wear it to my parents hippie-dippie southwestern town for the holidays.
Anyways, great video and great shirt.
Sammy316 on December 18, 2007 at 4:42 PM
Loved it!
And to your exit question:
Is that before or after Fred kicks the stool legs out from under Norris?
Connie on December 18, 2007 at 6:08 PM
I would like Fred to be Pres just to see the confrontation between him and Helen.
Huck would pray for her
Mitt would buy her ice cream
McCain would tell her to shut up
What would Rudy or Ron Paul do?
right2bright on December 18, 2007 at 6:24 PM
Kept a smile on my face. More would be better.
petefrt on December 18, 2007 at 6:35 PM
Wow, that was so ‘nuke the moon’. Gotta be IMAO.
Coronagold on December 18, 2007 at 6:44 PM
Stone Cold Thompson, or Stone Cold Fred.
hmm.
The latter reminds me too much of Right Said Fred, so let’s go with SCT.
Nay, SCT!
Reaps on December 18, 2007 at 8:02 PM
Fred Thompson, Chuck Norris, and Optimus Prime walk into a bar. The bar instantly explodes because it was never built to contain such an immense level of Awesome.
ZK on December 18, 2007 at 8:03 PM
I think it’s Disturbed.
- The Cat
MirCat on December 18, 2007 at 8:55 PM
Better question: who would win in a debate (more than soundbites or hand-raising) between Fred and Huck/Chuck?
Tzetzes on December 18, 2007 at 9:13 PM
Sounds like an intro to a new Chuck Norris movie! haha
canopfor on December 18, 2007 at 10:33 PM
I’m thinking about going to the one in Council Bluffs Thursday. I think that’s the closest he’s coming to where I live.
Gianni on December 18, 2007 at 11:59 PM
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