Video: The best three minutes in television history
posted at 9:36 pm on December 14, 2007 by Allahpundit
I was planning to save it for Christmas Eve, but what can I say? I’m overcome by the spirit of the season.
If you were touched by that Christmas gift video this afternoon, wait until you see Harrison Ford emoting in front of a giant man dressed like a space ape.
Blowback
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….
AHHHHHHH!
Dash on December 14, 2007 at 9:39 PM
Dude…..
William Amos on December 14, 2007 at 9:43 PM
::falls over::
THUNK
DO NOT WANT!!!!
Jewels on December 14, 2007 at 9:46 PM
Sweet. Merciful. Crap.
This is just…
Oh dear. Carrie Fisher is singing.
Oh Come ON!
Who wrote those lyrics?
This is just…
oh, man.
Mistahtibbs on December 14, 2007 at 9:46 PM
Craptacular!!!
aero on December 14, 2007 at 9:48 PM
I split my side when I was watching Weird Al’s video, White and Nerdy, and the nerdy guy buys something in a brown bag from a shady character in an alley.
Slipping back the bag he reveals – The Star Wars Holiday Special! I nearly lost it right then and there. A buddy of mine actually has one but Lucas did everything imaginable to make sure as few people as possible ever found it.
Ah, You Tube, Lucas in not thy friend.
y2church on December 14, 2007 at 9:49 PM
Whenever I see a Wookie I’m reminded of Janet Reno.
fogw on December 14, 2007 at 9:54 PM
May the Farce be with you!
Kini on December 14, 2007 at 9:55 PM
Wouldnt that make Robert Reich an ewok ?
William Amos on December 14, 2007 at 9:55 PM
I wish i were greedo right about now.
lorien1973 on December 14, 2007 at 9:56 PM
I own the WHOLE thing, got it from ebay a few years ago. I REMEMBER when this was on tv in the 70s. Not only this, there was Bea Arthur in the cantina singing, and also Art Carney, and Harvey Korman was on this special in a few different roles, one spoofing Julia Child! And the computers looked like something I threw together from spare parts of used bras. Awful.
I watch this every year.
Craptacular.
No wonder Lucas buried it.
CrimsonFisted on December 14, 2007 at 9:58 PM
You gotta admit, it’s better than the prequels.
Dork B. on December 14, 2007 at 9:58 PM
And it featured Chewbacca’s father sitting in a chair um “enjoying” Dianne Carrol singing something to him.
Ah, the 70s.
CrimsonFisted on December 14, 2007 at 10:00 PM
My brother asked for the Star Wars Holiday Special one year. I tracked down a copy, but teased him daily beforehand with quotes about how dreadful it was. He said he didn’t care.
Christmas day, he was thrilled…for the first fifteen seconds. Within twenty minutes he was gouging his eyes out with half-licked candy canes.
sulla on December 14, 2007 at 10:02 PM
Greedo died, Hans shot first.
Kini on December 14, 2007 at 10:09 PM
Ah! The infamous “Holiday Special.” Where’s Nancy Kerrigan when you need her to scream, “Why? Whyyyyyyy?”
About 2:13 Harrison Ford is gazing downward. He’s not smiling. I imagine that he is realizing, “Boy this really does suck!”
p40tiger on December 14, 2007 at 10:09 PM
Thus saving him the mercy of having to watch something worse than death.
lorien1973 on December 14, 2007 at 10:10 PM
Probably chanting, “fifty minutes, fifty grand. fifty minutes, fifty grand. fifty minutes….”
sulla on December 14, 2007 at 10:11 PM
The only way they could ever improve on this is to re-cast it with chimps.
OUCH!
stonemeister on December 14, 2007 at 10:25 PM
Remember watching this when it first aired. I was about 18 years old and watched it with my girlfriend
jed58 on December 14, 2007 at 10:29 PM
Just adding the inevitable outcome from making someone sit through this.
lorien1973 on December 14, 2007 at 10:48 PM
It’s because of the SWHS that I no longer fear Hell.
ZK on December 14, 2007 at 10:53 PM
Huh. I didn’t know Carrie Fisher could sing.
Too bad she had to sing that crap.
Meryl Yourish on December 14, 2007 at 10:59 PM
She has got to learn to lip sync.
I demand my three minutes of life back…
right2bright on December 14, 2007 at 11:00 PM
It’s hard to believe it was 29 years ago. I remember watching the one and only broadcast on TV and wondering year after year why they wouldn’t show it again each December like Rudolph and that movie with the Heat Miser. I gave up hope after about three years.
What I really don’t get is why the man who created The Phantom Menace, Jar Jar Binks and midiclorians tried so hard to bury this. He is obviously not capable of being embarrassed.
Nosferightu on December 14, 2007 at 11:03 PM
Wow…
Gun metal tastes funny…
BobH on December 14, 2007 at 11:15 PM
Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle! The “hokey-ometer” just melted! Jeez, schmaltz overload! All hands to the escape pods!
Holey moley that was….astoundlingly….something…words escape me…that was US in the 70s, wasn’t it? Gad…we really went for that kinda stuff? Really? We were worse than I remembered…gawd that was hokey…
Wonder how many takes they went through before Carrie could get all the way through it without busting out laughing…? Or barfing on Chewbacca’s arm…
Roger Brown on December 14, 2007 at 11:21 PM
Eh.
I miss Leia’s bronze bikini.
LegendHasIt on December 14, 2007 at 11:25 PM
I can’t wait to see the one you’re really truly saving for Christmas Eve, AP.
Dusty on December 14, 2007 at 11:32 PM
I still don’t.
Misha I on December 14, 2007 at 11:33 PM
my eyes my ears it burns it burns
Kevin43 on December 14, 2007 at 11:38 PM
I didn’t know how to feel about that, AP.
I am confused, at least moreso than normal.
awake on December 15, 2007 at 12:07 AM
Where do I get my Life Day cards?
Tzetzes on December 15, 2007 at 12:10 AM
Lucas is the luckiest man on Earth. He had two good movies out of six. What a money whore. Ugh.
robblefarian on December 15, 2007 at 12:11 AM
Allah cut open a Tauntaun: it smelled funny, but I am grateful for the warmth of a Star Wars clip I’d never seen before.
Nice one! Thanks for posting it.
Graybark on December 15, 2007 at 12:35 AM
Ummm…???
Silence her Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re our only hope!
infidel4life on December 15, 2007 at 12:36 AM
Talk about consumerism.
Vizzini on December 15, 2007 at 12:43 AM
Still better than the prequels.
- The Cat
MirCat on December 15, 2007 at 12:55 AM
So you didn’t like
RevengeReturn of the Jedi? Why? Was it the fact that they wielded their lightsabers like baseball bats, the wookies that were left in the dryer too long, the fact that Lando thought it was a good idea to have the battleships and cruisers just sit there getting shot at, Boba Fett getting taken out by a overgrown ant lion . . . .- The Cat
P.S. I have to say I like Twileks.
MirCat on December 15, 2007 at 1:00 AM
Why?
aengus on December 15, 2007 at 1:09 AM
Because it’s Christmasy?
MirCat on December 15, 2007 at 1:18 AM
I liked Liea better when she was Jabba’s slave.
Rode Werk on December 15, 2007 at 1:48 AM
These people were all on drugs.
packsoldier on December 15, 2007 at 1:51 AM
You forgot R2 serving drinks, R2 with the hidden lightsaber at the ready, R2 pushing 3PO off the barge then jumping as well…
ttevolla on December 15, 2007 at 2:35 AM
I have cried too much this year, Allah. Cease with this stuff!
Halley on December 15, 2007 at 3:00 AM
Proof Star Trek is better. Trekkis only have to suffer Shatner singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
hadsil on December 15, 2007 at 3:23 AM
You’re only encouraging Allah…..
EricPWJohnson on December 15, 2007 at 4:43 AM
Yeah but it’s the rest of us that have to suffer Trekkies.
True, R2 from the first two would have boobie trapped the drinks, used the saber himself, still would have pushed 3PO off of the barge, but would have laughed afterwords.
- The Cat
MirCat on December 15, 2007 at 5:25 AM
Happy Life Day Chewie… I got you this flea comb.
The Pac-Man Christmas special always chokes me up.
saint kansas on December 15, 2007 at 5:27 AM
Ouch! Boy, the truth does hurt.
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 6:19 AM
And when this goes viral, they’ll all be back on ‘em.
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 6:22 AM
Well I think ya still gotta give him props for American Graffiti.
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 6:26 AM
I’ve always wondered who removed R2′s rocket packs between Episodes III & IV…V…VI.
Those woulda come in handy on Jabba’s barge.
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 6:34 AM
This is how Carter won the election. You can’t think when you’re high.
Coronagold on December 15, 2007 at 6:41 AM
Not to mention avoiding capture by the Jawas in Ep. IV
But…had he actually avoided capture, he might never have ended up at Uncle Lars’ moisture farm. Thus setting in motion the chain of events that eventually led to the missing rocket paradox.
The Force works in mysterious ways.
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 6:44 AM
Interesting, every time I see Janet Reno I’m reminded of a Wookie.
Ying-Yang in action?
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 6:49 AM
Uh…wtf?
Jaibones on December 15, 2007 at 7:47 AM
Oh my word.
Penthesileia on December 15, 2007 at 8:47 AM
Well THERE’S a memory I didn’t wanna revisit.
To make it all better, go to YouTube and search for Star Wars Nerds Triumph Insult Dog.
You’ll forget all about this nightmare.
Tony737 on December 15, 2007 at 8:50 AM
No wonder Mr. Ford hates Star Wars
tomas on December 15, 2007 at 8:50 AM
That’s just one of those things you can’t ever un-watch.
I feel like I have to take my Master Replicas ForceFX Light Saber and replace it with a Klingon Bat’leth.
ConBlog_NH on December 15, 2007 at 9:07 AM
Holy Lord, that was just NASTY.
jdsmith0021 on December 15, 2007 at 9:16 AM
My monitor window cracked when she hit that long note off key and doggedly stayed off key. Still, she’s very lickable.
Schweggie on December 15, 2007 at 9:36 AM
That was painful to watch.
Zorro on December 15, 2007 at 9:49 AM
No wonder radical Islam is after us.
Limerick on December 15, 2007 at 9:51 AM
My computer won’t play it. Must be some kind of built in safety feature.
boomer on December 15, 2007 at 9:55 AM
You forgot Leonard Nimoy singing about Frodo.
Frozen Tex on December 15, 2007 at 10:20 AM
Thank your computer. Buy it something nice for Christmas.
Frozen Tex on December 15, 2007 at 10:21 AM
Man am I glad I never saw this the first time it came around. What dreck!
Warner Todd Huston on December 15, 2007 at 10:31 AM
Still, aren’t actors generally at the mercy of the producer and his/her writers? Lucas probably said “we are going to do this, writers, get me a script and music”. Carrie and her crew weren’t quite the big hit at that point where they could say “screw you, that sucks, ain’t doin’ it” ’cause they wanted a paycheck. Now, history shows, they no doubt have enough clout to tell him to buzz off. Of course, there’s always the possiblity they really LIKED it. That makes it EVEN WORSE than it is…blecchhh!
Roger Brown on December 15, 2007 at 10:48 AM
Hey, Warner, does that make it, “Star Dreck”…?
Roger Brown on December 15, 2007 at 10:49 AM
(fixed)
urbancenturion on December 15, 2007 at 11:00 AM
Hairy Festivus!
Now strip to the waist…
profitsbeard on December 15, 2007 at 11:27 AM
She’s lip-synching, of course, to someone elses voice. But it’s good to see them again in their youth. Remembering how things were 30 years ago is great, but doesn’t releive the aches & pains one has developed after 30 years of life.
countywolf on December 15, 2007 at 11:34 AM
um. huh? it’s proof that Lucas didn’t always have GOOD ideas.
ThackerAgency on December 15, 2007 at 11:51 AM
The goggles do nothing!
phelps on December 15, 2007 at 11:54 AM
.
Lucas has rarely had good ideas. Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back were good because he still had to answer to other people back then. Next came Ewoks and it went downhill from there.
Nosferightu on December 15, 2007 at 12:20 PM
Good lord, and I thought I couldn’t remember the 70′s because of drugs, now I realize it was from the trauma of watch crap like this…Bad Allah…bad bad Allah…
doriangrey on December 15, 2007 at 12:34 PM
Whew. As one of about apparently four Americans who never watched any of the Star Wars movies, after seeing THAT clip I can honestly say I am glad to be one of the four.
Patrick S on December 15, 2007 at 12:49 PM
Noooooooo! You can’t make me watch it! No you can’t make me!
tickleddragon on December 15, 2007 at 12:51 PM
Roger Brown has a point.
I rarely blame the actors in a bad movie. They’re just following directions. Instead, I put the blame where it should be: the director. Bad acting? It’s the director’s fault. Or in this case, bad singing/song writing/idea/whole she-bang? It’s the director.
Much unlike Carrie and Ford, for those in the video lucky enough to have worn a costume, they can live with themselves as masking their identity gives them plausible deniability they were ever there!
Weebork on December 15, 2007 at 1:05 PM
You were way early with this clip Allah. Everyone knows Life Day is on Feb.30th.
sonnyspats1 on December 15, 2007 at 1:06 PM
By the way, if you ever wanted to know what would happen if religion was ever taken completely out of the picture, look no further than “holiday” specials such as this to be the norm.
With bigger budgets.
Weebork on December 15, 2007 at 1:08 PM
“The horror…The horror”.
Mike Honcho on December 15, 2007 at 1:11 PM
Lemme clear up something. “The R2 from the first two means” eps IV and V.
Besides that, rocket packs? R2 never had rocket packs, nope never.
- The Cat
P.S. No! Never! It didn’t happen. The Preq Tril was an AP reimagining with fauxtography.
- The Cat
MirCat on December 15, 2007 at 1:34 PM
The new Christianity
Hening on December 15, 2007 at 1:56 PM
Can anyone take a moment to transcribe that speech Carrie/Leia gives? I swear it was the same one Oprah just delivered introducing Obama…!
(And if you haven’t had enough of Carrie Fisher singing, rent “Hannah & Her Sisters.” There’s an amusing scene of she and Dianne Wiest auditioning for a musical. Wiest makes Fisher look like Beverly Sills.)
Captain Scarlet on December 15, 2007 at 3:29 PM
There was nothing Christmas-y about that.
Ortzinator on December 15, 2007 at 5:31 PM
I remember that Chewie had family. Lumpy, Itchy and Stinky. Something to that effect. At any rate, the SWHS is the one and only time Lucas did not have creative control over the franchise.
I watched this when it was first on. I know that I couldn’t sit through it 30 years later.
Krydor on December 15, 2007 at 5:44 PM
Offtopic, but here’s an idea for those beta-boys and girls who are comfortable blogging, but not in person:
http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2007/12/chat_puts_gaming_social_a.html
pedestrian on December 15, 2007 at 6:27 PM
Need to watch Howard the Duck just to cleanse myself.
sulla on December 15, 2007 at 6:38 PM
Man…I remember watching this. And may I now say 30 years later that waterboarding has NOTHING on this…
Sir Loin on December 15, 2007 at 6:58 PM
Maybe an old Jedi mind trick?
Strange, those usually don’t work on me.
soundingboard on December 15, 2007 at 7:21 PM
Watched this when it was first on. Tried to on YouTube last year. Lasted all of 5 minutes. After those five, took Shatner’s advice to heart: ‘get a life.’
thirtypundit on December 15, 2007 at 7:43 PM
heh heh – for another Christmas story, look at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0SQusLdlpE&eurl=http://www.neatorama.com/ for a Red State Update Christmas…
Coastian on December 15, 2007 at 8:50 PM
Meesa likey very much! Mesa day startin pretty okee-day!
/jarjar
saint kansas on December 15, 2007 at 9:21 PM
This comment thread was far more entertaining than the clip itself. Yikes!
Time to mental floss with some Spaceballs.
itzWicks on December 15, 2007 at 9:40 PM
Did I miss the nativity scene? Oh yeah, Christmas isn’t about baby Jesus anymore. Happy Holidays…
docdave on December 16, 2007 at 12:11 AM
Curse those contractual obligations!
Black Adam on December 16, 2007 at 3:30 AM
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