Video: The greatest pulp revenge fantasy evah?

posted at 3:49 pm on December 10, 2007 by Allahpundit

It’s making the rounds on Digg and for once the hype is deserved. Ninjas, drill bras, a minigun prosthesis, and of course limbs various and sundry being torn off with malevolent glee: It’s too awesome not to post but too gory to post without this, your official strong content warning. No foolin’ — the violence is appropriately campy and cartoonish but it’s still considerably more graphic than the blood-spatter spectacular of the “John Rambo” trailer. If you’re squeamish, skip it.

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tempura, sushi, drill bra?…Dude

abinitioadinfinitum on December 10, 2007 at 3:54 PM

Is that that Gogo chick from Kill Bill, Volume the First?

Mark V. on December 10, 2007 at 3:55 PM

Why am I so awkwardly aroused?

Yoshi on December 10, 2007 at 3:56 PM

It matches my lathe jockstrap.

stonemeister on December 10, 2007 at 3:58 PM

Awesomely awesome.

Mark V. on December 10, 2007 at 3:55 PM

Nope, that’s the awesomely awesome Chiaki Kuriyama. Here.
I recommend Battle Royale.

SouthernDem on December 10, 2007 at 4:00 PM

I wouldn’t kick her outta bed unless I wanted to do her on the floor… But the Black and Decker bra has to go!

LOL.

Swinehound on December 10, 2007 at 4:00 PM

Why am I so awkwardly aroused?

I think it’s the school girl uniform. Every women should have one or two in their closet.

Mary K. Hamm in a school girl uniform — that works for me!

Wuptdo on December 10, 2007 at 4:02 PM

Mary K. Hamm in a school girl uniform — that works for me!

Let’s relax, boys.

Allahpundit on December 10, 2007 at 4:03 PM

echoes of Tetsuo?

Ochlan on December 10, 2007 at 4:04 PM

I grew up in Tokyo (18 to 23 years old) from 1961 to 1965 and loved the sumurai movies because I had never seen such gory scenes in any other movies. This one looks even better, so I will see it if possible. Love the Japanese imgination.

WildBillK on December 10, 2007 at 4:07 PM

And for the record it is a real movie, not just a Grindhouse-esque trailer.

Number 2 on December 10, 2007 at 4:07 PM

Getting too old, can’t spell or type anymore.

WildBillK on December 10, 2007 at 4:10 PM

Ochlan,
This looks tame compared to some of the more recent Japanese fare.
I’ll call your Tetsuo and raise you some Takashi Miike.

SouthernDem on December 10, 2007 at 4:12 PM

echoes of Tetsuo?

Dude.

I was gonna post that to see if anyone else here would get it.

saint kansas on December 10, 2007 at 4:16 PM

saint kansas on December 10, 2007 at 4:16 PM

lol…yeah…that’s not for noobs ;-)

Ochlan on December 10, 2007 at 4:19 PM

SouthernDem on December 10, 2007 at 4:12 PM

I’m not getting into those kinda pissing contests ;-)

It’s predictable that someone will be inspired and ‘one-up’ whatever novel stuff comes along. Tetsuo (Iron Man) and Tetsuo 2 (Body Hammer) are just visionary stuff. Whatever came along later…came along later ;-)

Ochlan on December 10, 2007 at 4:21 PM

I think I wet myself a little that was so cool.

lorien1973 on December 10, 2007 at 4:23 PM

I’m really starting to worry about you.

dostrick on December 10, 2007 at 4:24 PM

Ochlan on December 10, 2007 at 4:21 PM

Sorry, wasn’t trying to one up you. Just pointing to some other great Asian cinema. Call me sick, but I love that stuff.
Of course, it only took American cinema a good 15 years to try to emulate it, a la Hostel and the such.

SouthernDem on December 10, 2007 at 4:30 PM

The blood spouting out of her severed arm reminds me of an old Monty Python skit.

Come to think of it, why doesn’t any blood come out when a Star Wars light saber severs a limb?

Bigfoot on December 10, 2007 at 4:37 PM

Needs more pirates and hobos.

frankj on December 10, 2007 at 4:39 PM

Come to think of it, why doesn’t any blood come out when a Star Wars light saber severs a limb?

Bigfoot on December 10, 2007 at 4:37 PM

Instantly cauterized.

Frozen Tex on December 10, 2007 at 4:40 PM

hot Asian girl with guns, swords and chainsaws.
Could I be any more in love?

400lb Gorilla on December 10, 2007 at 4:41 PM

Three words – Out.Stan.Ding.

steveegg on December 10, 2007 at 4:48 PM

I know that one in the drill bra. One of my ex’s.

petefrt on December 10, 2007 at 4:57 PM

I’ll second the Takashi Miike recommendation. It will be interesting to see how Sukiyaki Western Django turns out.

This looks a little too pulpy and cheesey for my tastes.

rw on December 10, 2007 at 5:01 PM

Instantly cauterized.

Frozen Tex on December 10, 2007 at 4:40 PM

If the limbs on Star Wars were pressurized to 100 psi like the ones in that clip, they would spray blood too.

pedestrian on December 10, 2007 at 5:03 PM

See Twitch posted that one and it’s getting all the love but there’s another one that should be getting just as much just because it’s just as crazy, that being Negative Happy. Chainsaw Edge. A coming of age story where a boy falls in love with a girl who fights a chainsaw weilding monster from the Moon at night. What’s not to like!

Heck, even a Samizdata.net editor likes it! :P

*this post brought to you by blog whoring for great justice!*

CTDeLude on December 10, 2007 at 5:17 PM

Yakuza Ninjas? Riiiiight. Looks about as dumb as it looks bloody. Don’t get me wrong–I love Japan–been there and going back this Summer. Hell, I was even given the nickname “Yakuza Yankee” because I cleared a whole Ryokan when my full tattooed back was revealed. But this movie looks like 90 minutes of bad graphics and laughable, over-the-top blood.

robblefarian on December 10, 2007 at 5:20 PM

robblefarian on December 10, 2007 at 5:20 PM

You have watched films over there right? Cause that’s about 45% of what I see come out over there.

CTDeLude on December 10, 2007 at 5:30 PM

I’m just happy to see the return of the Flying Guillotine as a viable weapon.

askheaves on December 10, 2007 at 5:36 PM

Lady Snowblood meet Final Fantasy VII ….almost

I’m definitely seeing this, one way or another.

liquidflorian on December 10, 2007 at 5:39 PM

Nope, that’s the awesomely awesome Chiaki Kuriyama

She is in both. :P Battle Royal is an amazing flick, though it can be pretty difficult to get a hold of.

CorinthianJest on December 10, 2007 at 5:41 PM

You have watched films over there right? Cause that’s about 45% of what I see come out over there.

Sadly, I didn’t have enough time to go to the movies while I spent the month there. I was there with 200 other American teachers and our agendas were very tight. I did, however watch a lot of Japanese TV at night in my hotel room. Loved it. I was there during the “Waterboys” phenomenon was happening. That movie was a riot. Found a copy on eBay.

robblefarian on December 10, 2007 at 5:44 PM

This movie is going to be so bad, I HAVE to watch it.

YAKUZA!

NINJAS!

TEMPURA!

Perfect MST3K material, right there.

DakRoland on December 10, 2007 at 5:46 PM

Excellent!!

The Black and Decker Drill Bra JUST in time for Christmas!!!

Thanks Japanese film makers!!

My Christmas shopping is DONE!

Talon on December 10, 2007 at 5:49 PM

Uh…OK.

james hooker on December 10, 2007 at 5:55 PM

Battle Royal is an amazing flick, though it can be pretty difficult to get a hold of.

It’s getting pretty mainstream. Netflix even has a copy.

rw on December 10, 2007 at 5:57 PM

Machine Gitmo Girl

Texyank on December 10, 2007 at 6:15 PM

CorinthianJest on December 10, 2007 at 5:41 PM

Really? I didn’t see her on the IMDB (thought that’s hardly conclusive). Did I miss her in the trailer?

SouthernDem on December 10, 2007 at 6:29 PM

Re: the drill bra:

Victoria’s Secret meets Gurren Lagann.

ZK on December 10, 2007 at 7:05 PM

Dude?

Brian the sailor on December 10, 2007 at 7:24 PM

ummmm

tlynch001 on December 10, 2007 at 7:24 PM

Why am I so awkwardly aroused?
Yoshi on December 10, 2007 at 3:56 PM

Your emotional balance has been severely damaged by watching too much Red Eye.

eeyore on December 10, 2007 at 7:31 PM

Battle Royal is an amazing flick, though it can be pretty difficult to get a hold of.

It’s getting pretty mainstream. Netflix even has a copy.

rw on December 10, 2007 at 5:57 PM

Funny, I still remember being so vehemently against that film when I first heard of it and the plot. Then I saw it for my own eyes and thought it a great little film. Violent and buddy and disturbing? Yes but it really was something else. That and you can’t go wrong with Takeshi Kitano in your film.

CTDeLude on December 10, 2007 at 8:55 PM

Japanese sure have high blood pressure.

ronsfi on December 10, 2007 at 9:22 PM

Alls she need is a Luis Vuiton purse and I’d swear my wife was moonlighting in campy Japanese films.

Alden Pyle on December 10, 2007 at 10:08 PM

Why do I feel like I just saw the whole movie?

BL@KBIRD on December 10, 2007 at 10:53 PM

Uh, anybody notice the blurb for the lead actress at the movie’s IMDb page?

Trivia

Japanese porno-actress.

Yeah.

Sean M. on December 11, 2007 at 3:49 AM

Where did the clip go???

Dread Pirate Roberts VI on December 11, 2007 at 9:30 AM

Found it!

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1214128517/bctid1320139451

Dread Pirate Roberts VI on December 11, 2007 at 9:41 AM

Ummm…

No thank you. I’ll stick with Kurasawa flicks.

I’m not much for blood-n-guts type movies anyways. Saw Kill Bill, liked the cultural references and some of the campiness of it, otherwise a tad too violent for my tastes.

I prefer classic Japanese cinema, and non-blood-n-guts Anime. (I’ll take Love Hina or Chobits over Akira any day) but then again, I’m just an old sap anyway. (Although I am quite fond of Cowboy Bebop, despite the violence.)

wearyman on December 11, 2007 at 10:28 AM

It’s not the violence for me, that’s all well-and-good.

It’s the totally fake-expletive gore, such as the huge geysers of blood and the nearly identical severed-limb stumps that have lost their “camp” by becoming cliche.

Jokes are rarely as effective the 100th time as the first. Time to give the high-pressure food-dye pumps a rest for a few years.

That being said, I could sure use a giant poster of Ms. Kuriyama with a machine-gun arm. And a schoolgirl outfit.

Sure, it’s wrong. But it’s just a little wrong. :)

Merovign on December 11, 2007 at 12:24 PM

Let me guess…after losing her family, and becoming The Machine Girl, she will connect with some innocent guy who will win her trust and love (after she never thought she could love again)… who will be killed by the big boss and his henchmen right before the finale where she goes bezerker and wipes them all out.
It looks cool, though.

Doug on December 11, 2007 at 12:35 PM