Hitch got hisself a “boyzilian?”

What is it with men who want to look like pre-pubescent boys? I can understand a person who requires it for competitive reasons…ie: bodybuilding contests where definition can’t be hidden by a luxurious pelt but, geez louise, it strikes me that it’s all a part of the attempt to de-masculinize males. To make us all boys again. Well, sister, I’m not a man… yet, that takes character that I’m still working on, but I sure as hell am not a boy either. I’m just a guy trying to be the best husband to my wife and father to my three daughters. Hopefully, someday, I’ll be a real man… cue paraphrased Pinocchio music.

MT

Has he run out of ideas to write about? How embarrassing.

No, it’s Vanity Fair’s way of punishing him for supporting the Iraq war and opposing Islam and terrorism.

HerrMorgenholz wrote:

All I want for Christmas is a T-shirt that says: “I waxed Christopher Hitchens’ package”.

“…and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”.

Hey Chris! There’s this stuff they sell here in the USA called dental floss.

Unless it doesn’t.

not even goin’ near the “alpha” thing…

Oh Jesus. I was overwhelmed by a sudden access of lava-like agony,

And let that be a warning to ya, it could get a lot worse..later.

One wonders, how much beautification would it take to turn a beta male into an alpha…?

It’s impossible; the difference is all in the confidence.

BTW I’m not posting off-topic to annoy anyone but because Hitchens put me in the mind of it.

No, it’s part of his jokey self-improvement series for Vanity Fair, in which our curmudgeonly litterateur goes to the spa, the dentist, and the salon in a semi-successful bid to turn an aging British man into an aging American one.

To what end? He’s annoying as a bitter Brit who smugly opines about all that is wrong with the nation that if fueling the prosperity for the entire free world. Waxing his nether regions doesn’t make him an American. It makes him a metrosexual Brit who is just as out-of-touch with reality as the idiot who still looked like a man.

One wonders, how much beautification would it take to turn a beta male into an alpha…?

Post the pic and we’ll let you know.

Happy to be natural.

And agnostic.

(This is really an Onion bit… right?)

Allapundit-

You need to dub a “link-opens” waxing SCREAM from “The 40 Year Old Virgin” to this piece.

But tweak it an octave higher, for Hitch.

Perhaps Hitchens is right… there is no God. Dear lordy Allah, that is quite possibly the most horrible thing I have ever heard.

Last time I was sober, man I felt bad
Worst hangover that I ever had
It took six hamburgers and scotch all night
Nicotine for breakfast just to put me right
cos if you wanna run cool
If you wanna run cool
If you wanna run cool, you got to run
On heavy, heavy fuel

My life makes perfect sense
Lust and food and violence
Sex and money are my major kicks
Get me in a fight I like dirty tricks
cos if you wanna run cool
Yes if you wanna run cool, you got to run
On heavy, heavy fuel

My chick loves a man whos strong
The things shell do to turn me on
I love the babes, dont get we wrong
Hey, thats why I wrote this song

I dont care if my liver is hanging by a thread
Dont care if my doctor says I ought to be dead
When my ugly big car wont climb this hill
Ill write a suicide note on a hundred dollar bill
cos if you wanna run cool
If you wanna run cool
Yes if you wanna run cool, you got to run
On heavy, heavy fuel

Well, no. Not before you mentioned it.

Thanks for that. Now it’s nightmare time.

Slublog on November 28, 2007 at 7:32 PM

heh heh heh welcome to the club, maybe you wont be so soft on AP now…

Did you notice the “used” wax strip in between his legs?

Well, no. Not before you mentioned it.

Thanks for that. Now it’s nightmare time.

hitch is not british, he is barzillian apparently.

zane on November 28, 2007 at 6:33 PM

Very good.

And really, I don’t get the appeal. I can’t say I’m much in favor of overly hairy men, but I’m not sure I’d go for a bald one either.