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Ted Kennedy lands $8 million to fudge the death of Mary Jo Kopechne Update: A sneak peak at the dust jacket?

posted at 12:07 pm on November 27, 2007 by Bryan
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And I’m sure we’ll hear persuasive thoughts on why he opposes that offshore windmill farm, too. Besides the obvious “not in my backyard” argument, that is. And I’m sure he’ll omit coverage of his work on behalf of the USSR during the Cold War.

Senator Edward M. Kennedy, the most prominent surviving member of the Kennedy family, has agreed to sell his memoirs for an advance of more than $8 million, people with knowledge of the negotiations say.

“…the most prominent surviving member of the Kennedy family…” That says it all about that family, doesn’t it.

After a six-day auction that concluded Nov. 19, Twelve, an imprint of Grand Central Publishing, bought world rights for the autobiography. Before the deal can be completed, Mr. Kennedy must clear his publishing contract with the Senate Ethics Committee.

Jonathan Karp, publisher and editor in chief of Twelve, said he hoped to publish the book in the fall of 2010. Mr. Kennedy is “walking, talking history,” Mr. Karp said, “and there’s no limit to what he can talk about with authority and distinctive personal perspective.”

I’m sure there will be no limit to the leftist demagoguery, anti-Americanism and self-promotion, but I wouldn’t call that “walking, talking history.” Walking, talking BS, maybe.

For the past three years, he has been working with the Miller Center of Public Affairs at the University of Virginia on an oral history of his life, and those tapes will serve as source material for his autobiography.

Mr. Kennedy, who will work with a co-writer, is expected to write candidly about his personal history, including the 1969 Chappaquiddick accident in which he drove a car off a bridge on Martha’s Vineyard, resulting in the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, a former member of Senator Robert F. Kennedy’s staff. He will also write about his unsuccessful bid for the presidency.

Walking, talking and swimming BS. I’ll pass on the book. I would like to hear those “oral history” tapes, though.

Update: Texas Rainmaker has a cover for Teddy’s tome.

kennedybookcover.jpg


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Mr. Kennedy is “walking, talking history,”

Brings new meaning to the phrase “Money talks and bullshit walks.”

CurtZHP on November 27, 2007 at 12:11 PM

Lunchtime on the east coast and you put that picture on the front page?

Slublog on November 27, 2007 at 12:12 PM

My God what a disgusting picture.

As Dean Wormer said, “fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life”.

Well, unless you’re a Kennedy.

thirteen28 on November 27, 2007 at 12:13 PM

Totally. grossed. out.

Tru2my2 on November 27, 2007 at 12:14 PM

Disgusting baffoon!

Winebabe on November 27, 2007 at 12:16 PM

Murdering, treasonous, alcoholic, elitist,socialist, fat, nasty bastard.

Works out to $1 million per word. Nice work if you can get it.

Alamo on November 27, 2007 at 12:19 PM

Most prominent gut.

saint kansas on November 27, 2007 at 12:20 PM

I can’t wait to hear what Howie Carr has to say about this.

Has Kennedy ever assumed any responsibility for what happened to Mary Jo Kopechne? Even a lame statement of regret?

Slublog on November 27, 2007 at 12:20 PM

That picture will haunt my sleep for years to come. MAKE IT STOP!!!!

Frozen Tex on November 27, 2007 at 12:20 PM

“Man the harpoons!!”

Tyrs Fury on November 27, 2007 at 12:23 PM

I will not buy it. I hope you’ll all do the same.

jeanie on November 27, 2007 at 12:27 PM

Mary Jo Kopechne was (still) unavailable for comment.

Matticus Finch on November 27, 2007 at 12:28 PM

My God what a disgusting picture.

thirteen28 on November 27, 2007 at 12:13 PM

His man-boobs have man-boobs.

James on November 27, 2007 at 12:28 PM

That picture has damaged me for life.

I think you’ve turned me off men forever.

Damn you! Damn you to hell!

Meryl Yourish on November 27, 2007 at 12:29 PM

Lunchtime on the east coast and you put that picture on the front page?

I second (or third or fourth) the motion.

Teddy and his family are upset at the possibility of seeing windmills around their yachting areas, but have no problem with the eyesore that he has become.

Bigfoot on November 27, 2007 at 12:31 PM

That picture has damaged me for life.

I think you’ve turned me off men forever.

Damn you! Damn you to hell!

Meryl Yourish on November 27, 2007 at 12:29 PM

Me too…..Oh wait, I always did prefer women… ;)

doriangrey on November 27, 2007 at 12:31 PM

“In international news today, the Japanese government issued an official apology for the accidental harpooning of Sen. Edward Kennedy by a Japanese whaling crew. Senator Kennedy only received a minor scratch from the incident, and is said to be in good spirits. Says the Senator in a press conference, “I err, didn’t even feel it, Chivas is great stuff…hehehe.”

Bad Candy on November 27, 2007 at 12:31 PM

Is it called: “If I did it”?

JayHaw Phrenzie on November 27, 2007 at 12:35 PM

Meryl, here’s a palate cleanser for you.

KelliD on November 27, 2007 at 12:37 PM

I never thought I’d pine for a picture of Rosie O’Donnell.

Professor Blather on November 27, 2007 at 12:42 PM

Possible Titles:

“Drowing in Wealth”
“Drowing”
“Drowing in Memories”
“The Bridge to Somewhere”
“Mary Jo Who?”
“My Nose Is Red, I’m No Rudolph: You Don’t Want Me Guiding Your Sleigh”
“Can’t Touch This!”

SouthernGent on November 27, 2007 at 12:44 PM

Meryl, here’s a palate cleanser for you.

KelliD on November 27, 2007 at 12:37 PM

Where are the Pentecostals? LOL

SouthernGent on November 27, 2007 at 12:45 PM

Isn’t there some sort of leftist phrase that goes something like, “And the rich just get richer”?

jmarcure on November 27, 2007 at 12:46 PM

I was reading the archived link of his attempted meetings with Andropov, and wondered if Pelosi was using a page from his playbook when she met with Assad in Syria. Looks like it to me.

DCA on November 27, 2007 at 12:52 PM

Possible Titles:

“If I’d have just turned right.”

BacaDog on November 27, 2007 at 12:53 PM

Please, for the love of God, do not show pictures like that.

That one is even more pornographic than the ones of Rosie.

Think of the children.

MB4 on November 27, 2007 at 12:56 PM

sell his memoirs ? Teddy KENNEDY?
.
Talk about an “X” rated war porn/congress porn/drivers ed’ what NOT to do’/ lifeguard ‘what never to do’ / voluntary manslaughter/ alcohol induced De Palma hate flick.
.
How can the Dems, in any good conscience at all, ever talk about crimes with this treasonous felon in office?
8 million?
It should ALL go to the Kopechne family.

.
Did they pay Ted Bundy for his story?
I really do wonder how many have suffered at the hands of just this one Kennedy.
.
title? “What’s in a name?”

shooter on November 27, 2007 at 12:57 PM

Maybe he didn’t drown Mary Jo after all.

Maybe he swallowed her whole.

MB4 on November 27, 2007 at 12:58 PM

Possible Titles:

See Splash Swim

kiakjones on November 27, 2007 at 1:02 PM

Mr. Kennedy, who will work with a co-writer, is expected to write candidly lie through his teeth about his personal history,

including the 1969 Chappaquiddick accident vehicular homicide

in which he drove a car off a bridge on Martha’s Vineyard into a canal,

resulting in the death of leaving behind to drown Mary Jo Kopechne,

a former member of Senator Robert F. Kennedy’s staff his date from the Martha’s Vineyard drunkfest with his other married buddies earlier that day.

That’s all the fixins.

Thanks for trying Tedster, but you’re still full of it.

fogw on November 27, 2007 at 1:03 PM

Erah, the truth as I see it….

Kini on November 27, 2007 at 1:07 PM

Slublog on November 27, 2007 at 12:12 PM

Doesn’t matter what time it is. I may never eat again.

Jaibones on November 27, 2007 at 1:09 PM

He gives new meaning to the word ‘obscene’. Hopefully the bloated carcass that he has become makes him uncomfortable.

docdave on November 27, 2007 at 1:11 PM

Has Kennedy ever assumed any responsibility for what happened to Mary Jo Kopechne? Even a lame statement of regret?

Does naming his dog Splash count?

Quisp on November 27, 2007 at 1:13 PM

Wow, that seems like a colossal waste of 8 mil.

awake on November 27, 2007 at 1:15 PM

Dude, there are some things nobody should ever have to see.

Hammerhead on November 27, 2007 at 1:18 PM

Twelve knows they’ll recoup their costs just from those who buy the book with the intent to rake Teddy over the coals once more. Teddy’s fans will be Twelve’s measly profit.

Dusty on November 27, 2007 at 1:24 PM

Who’s going to play Teddy Kennedy in the movie- Shamu?

Not a bad choice actually, he could do his own stunts during the swimming sequences and, well, with a little padding could be Teddy’s twin for the senile years.

Seriously, do you think the publishing house would make back its $8M advance? Are there people out there that would really buy whatever propoganda this lying murdering bastard claims?

highhopes on November 27, 2007 at 1:25 PM

Possible Titles:

“Drowing in Wealth”
“Drowing”
“Drowing in Memories”
“The Bridge to Somewhere”
“Mary Jo Who?”
“My Nose Is Red, I’m No Rudolph: You Don’t Want Me Guiding Your Sleigh”
“Can’t Touch This!”

SouthernGent on November 27, 2007 at 12:44 PM

Nah, the real title is, “My Time On the Set with Austin Powers”.

91Veteran on November 27, 2007 at 1:25 PM

Entitled: How I gerrymandered elections for four decades and laughed my a$$ off at stupid Americans for letting me get away with it.
Thanks Daddy.

Speakup on November 27, 2007 at 1:25 PM

What a letch. And to think G.W. and McCain sucked up to this disgusting phoney.

saiga on November 27, 2007 at 1:25 PM

fogw on November 27, 2007 at 1:03 PM

Dang, I think you pretty much covered it, maybe another paragraph about cheating and stealing millions from taxpayers and viola, 8 BUCKS, done deal, end of story.
.
No need for 8 million.
.
Thx Fog, you saved some nitwit a bunch of dough (and all of us some heartache)

shooter on November 27, 2007 at 1:34 PM

Thinking about this loser writing a autobiography brings to mind Lil’ Abner’s “impending disaster.”

leanright on November 27, 2007 at 1:35 PM

A Bridge Over Troubled Waters,… oh, thats taken.
.
A Bridge Under Troubled Waters.?.?.?.
nah, but we’re getting closer…

shooter on November 27, 2007 at 1:38 PM

“Thar She Blows!”

infidel4life on November 27, 2007 at 1:41 PM

Kennedy family, has agreed to sell his memoirs

First time the ‘memoirs’ of anybody will be found in the FICTION section of your local library.
.
Sorry, but this frickin fool KENNEDY OUTRAGES ME!!!!!

shooter on November 27, 2007 at 1:44 PM

The man is a pig, both figuratively and literally.

rplat on November 27, 2007 at 1:45 PM

Waddling, twaddling, herstory is more like it.

Wouldn’t Slick Willie’s oral history be more interesting?

O-Dub on November 27, 2007 at 1:50 PM

[re-invoking "rabid dog" comment]

franksalterego on November 27, 2007 at 1:51 PM

“…the most prominent surviving member of the Kennedy family…” That says it all about that family, doesn’t it.

Weird reverse natural selection – survival of the unfittest…

Lehuster on November 27, 2007 at 1:59 PM

“If I’d have just turned right.”

BacaDog on November 27, 2007 at 12:53 PM

Turning right is impossible for Ted. He’s been veering farther and farther left all his life.

Bigfoot on November 27, 2007 at 2:18 PM

Rush talked about what makes it OK for Hillary and Teddy to get a fat book deal but when Newt tried back in 95 he caught hell for it and had to cancel.

NYT (of course) February 4, 1995
The Speaker and the Ethics Panel

Clearly, there needs to be some inquiry into House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s various financial dealings. Mr. Gingrich recognized that inevitability when he abandoned any idea of abolishing the House Ethics Committee. Instead he opted for a holdover group of five Republicans and five Democrats who had served on the committee before he became Speaker. The move was designed to avoid the conflict of interest that would have resulted if Mr. Gingrich had helped appoint a new committee to rule on the ethics complaint filed against him by his opponent in the last election, Ben Jones.

That complaint raises the accusation that tax-deductible contributions to a foundation linked to Mr. Gingrich were improperly used to finance a politically oriented course he taught at a Georgia college. The complaint asserts that his use of his House employees to help with the course violated House rules. It was recently amended to include aspects of Mr. Gingrich’s book deal with a publishing house owned by Rupert Murdoch. Mr. Gingrich, having rejected the sound advice of some Republicans to cancel a deal that has undermined public confidence in his leadership, plans to submit his contract to the committee.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990CE0D7113BF937A35751C0A963958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=print

Speakup on November 27, 2007 at 2:22 PM

Is it called: “If I did it”?

JayHaw Phrenzie on November 27, 2007 at 12:35 PM

You were on Rush dude.

Speakup on November 27, 2007 at 2:23 PM

We all know that papa Joe Kennedy had dreams of his sons of becoming President, something that would be denied to him as an aftermath of his clashes with FDR, another scion of American “royalty.” Joe was killed in WWII. John did become President, but was assassinated. Bobby was assassinated during the campaign, leaving Teddy as his sole surviving son, and his last chance of founding a presidential dynasty.

What we have forgotten is that Joe died himself within a few months of Mary Jo. More than one autobiographer and historian has linked the death of papa Joe (who was in poor health following a stroke in 1961) at 81 to Kopechne’s death as being the event that shattered his will to continue living.

Given the cheating scandal when in college, his heavy drinking after Bobby’s murder, and then Chappaquiddick, it must have been obvious to Joe that his last surviving son would never be President.

It must have been the final insult.

The fact that so many of Joe Kennedy’s descendents died violently and prematurely, and that the weakest and most corrupt of them all survived, lends credence to the existence of Karma.

You can bet that Teddy’s “autobiography” will either ignore or gloss over his extramarital affairs, Mary Jo’s murder, his drunkenness, his cheating in college, and how Mary Jo’s death led to his father’s death. To do so would require a level of honesty and character forever out of his reach.

In any other man, we would be celebrating his luck as a survivor. But any other man would not be the piece of sh*t that Teddy is.

georgej on November 27, 2007 at 2:28 PM

Hey somebody has to pay for all the Kennedy clans visits and extended stays at the rehab clinic.

Uncle Theodore only got 8 mil, it won’t be enough.

swami on November 27, 2007 at 2:30 PM

Living large dude! Double that mans insurance premium Mrs. Clinton! His hearts gonna pop! No, really, jack up his rates! Now! Why should the collective have to pay for that future heart attack?

dingbat on November 27, 2007 at 2:41 PM

First timeSecond time the ‘memoirs’ of anybody will be found in the FICTION section of your local library.
.
Sorry, but this frickin fool KENNEDY OUTRAGES ME!!!!!

shooter on November 27, 2007 at 1:44 PM

There…fixed that. Remember Clinton already has his memoirs out.

Pilgrim on November 27, 2007 at 2:48 PM

From that picture, it looks like Ol’ Teddy has a 6-pack going. 6-pack of Bud, 6-pack of Miller (living the High Life!), 6-pack of Corona, 6-pack of Chivas Regal and an 8-pack of hot dogs on the back of his neck.

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on November 27, 2007 at 2:54 PM

You can bet that Teddy’s “autobiography” will either ignore or gloss over his extramarital affairs, Mary Jo’s murder, his drunkenness, his cheating in college, and how Mary Jo’s death led to his father’s death.

georgej on November 27, 2007 at 2:28 PM

Waitress sandwiches with colleagues, treatment of women at his Palm Beach compound.

Another title:

“Fat Bastard: What Baby Back Ribs Chivas Did to Me.”

91Veteran on November 27, 2007 at 2:57 PM

Possible titles:

1) If I did it (JayHaw Phrenzie)
2) Patron of the Tarts
3) Water Under the Bridge
4) A Manatee Among Men
5) Good Senator–Bad Date (Denis Leary)
6) Father of the Drive-by Drowning
7) Roued Awakening
8) Working Stiff
9) Tryst and Shout
10) The Heartbreak of Satyriasis

Dr. Charles G. Waugh on November 27, 2007 at 3:41 PM

It is the success of people like Ted “The Whale” Kennedy, or is it Ted “Let me go find a lifeguard, Mary Jo” Kennedy?, or is it Ted “I stopped to get help and got a drink. Sorry I forgot” Kennedy?

Anyway, it is the success of people like Teddy the Whale and his family and friends (Dems in Congress included) that make me think, hey maybe the Devil, or Satan, and his demons, really DO exist, and Teddy is a walking, talking example.

What other explanation could there be for the success of people like this?

Beats me.

William2006 on November 27, 2007 at 3:42 PM

How about he call it “Splash”.

saiga on November 27, 2007 at 4:00 PM

I saw that picture and my first thought was that a walrus had escaped from our San Diego Seaworld, and is now “beached”.

Entelechy on November 27, 2007 at 4:09 PM

Title – Thanks for the memories, suckers

Subtitle – A good life, suckers

Entelechy on November 27, 2007 at 4:16 PM

Bryan, please post the walrus picture, even if inside now; otherwise my comment of 4:09pm makes no sense.

Plus, the nation, and the world should see the footprints this whale of a man leaves, while preaching to us, and opposing alternate energy which obstructs his beautiful view.

Entelechy on November 27, 2007 at 5:26 PM

Does naming his dog Splash count?

Quisp on November 27, 2007 at 1:13 PM

Wow. Can’t bleeve he really named his dog “Splash.” If I were Ted Kennedy, Mary Jo would be in the front of my mind every day. So IMO it’s either a sick joke and he’s utterly conscienceless or he never thinks about Mary Jo and…he’s utterly conscienceless.

inviolet on November 27, 2007 at 7:05 PM

A Bridge Too Far
Driving Miss Kopechne
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Ted Kennedy’s Guide to the Bars of New England and DC

ToddonCapeCod on November 27, 2007 at 7:14 PM

I’m thinking “Mr. Ziffel Goes To Washington.”

Patrick S on November 27, 2007 at 8:47 PM

Nice how Newt Gingrich was widely criticized for a $4 million deal for writing with Rupert Murdoch, while nary a peep is made over Teddy… and let’s face it: this is going to be a ghost written project, because half of Teddy’s life is a blackout to him!

ToddonCapeCod on November 27, 2007 at 10:55 PM

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for replacing the original photo of the “good” Senator.

awake on November 27, 2007 at 11:03 PM

KelliD: Thanks. That one’s all right, but there are better ones, not safe for work, that would scare off all the guys here. A friend of mine found what she thought was a site with hot guys, and what turned out to be a Dutch gay pr0n site. Oops.

Meryl Yourish on November 27, 2007 at 11:48 PM

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