Too good to check: DUers “prove” waterboarding is torture — by waterboarding each other

posted at 8:44 pm on October 29, 2007 by Allahpundit

“[I]f it isn’t torture, it can’t be that bad, right?” our hero wonders rhetorically before declaring it most definitely bad — and recounting how he went in for one, two, three, four rounds of the stuff. Which, incidentally, was fewer than his brother managed. A possible alternative standard: If it is torture, you probably wouldn’t be so willing to have it done to you.

Another possible alternative: If it works as filler between true-crime segments on Anna Nicole Smith and Natalee Holloway, then — well, then it’s torture of a different kind, I guess. From last November:

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This story reminds of those three crazy fellows who were charged with getting the cake for Satan’s Halloween party on South Park.

Mindcrime on October 29, 2007 at 8:48 PM

These people consider other people calling them names as torture. I don’t believe them.

SouthernGent on October 29, 2007 at 8:50 PM

They should try a hand drill through the palm and see if that is better or worse ;-)

bnelson44 on October 29, 2007 at 8:55 PM

Greta Gets GameNew Material for weeks on end of mindless subject matter reporting.

In other news, how many have noticed Greta’s face life, isn’t lifting no more?

Kini on October 29, 2007 at 8:58 PM

Satire, perhaps?

If not, they’re in worse condition that I thought possible.

JammieWearingFool on October 29, 2007 at 9:00 PM

…he went in for one, two, three, four rounds of the stuff

Dude, something’s wrong if can handle four rounds of that.

ScottMcC on October 29, 2007 at 9:02 PM

Hey, I tried something similar! I put a pair of my wife’s panties on my head. Like, ten times. Wasn’t that bad.

Or is that too much information?

SouthernDem on October 29, 2007 at 9:02 PM

The whole thing is great but the last line especially–so if we force our leaders to suffer 10-20 seconds then we’d be allowed to do it? It’s a deal, moonbats! Maybe every American should be forced to do it at least once, if that would shut these people up.

Alex K on October 29, 2007 at 9:03 PM

After ‘waterboarding’ each other, they then moved on to building replicas of the World Trade Center with sugar cubes and threw paper airplanes at them; thereby proving that planes weren’t responsible for 9-11 and that BOOOOSH sux.

Genius, folks.

Good Lt on October 29, 2007 at 9:04 PM

I’m tempted to suggest to them that running over someone with a truck isn’t torture. Wonder what they’d do with that information?

windbag on October 29, 2007 at 9:05 PM

You suppose they flooded their parent’s basement?

JammieWearingFool on October 29, 2007 at 9:07 PM

windbag, click the link in my comment. you can’t imagine how far beyond parody these people are.

jummy on October 29, 2007 at 9:08 PM

JammieWearingFool on October 29, 2007 at 9:07 PM

Yep, and dad doesn’t have flood insurace!

Pam on October 29, 2007 at 9:10 PM

I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but I have challenged a couple of moonbats to a contest in which I’m waterboarded and they are tortured–really tortured–and we’ll see who gives up first. Sadly, they seem unwilling to get my point.

I also point out that it wouldn’t legal to actually torture someone, though one could allow oneself to be waterboarded.

thuja on October 29, 2007 at 9:12 PM

jummy on October 29, 2007 at 9:02 PM

The classic.

Bad Candy on October 29, 2007 at 9:20 PM

Hey, I tried something similar! I put a pair of my wife’s panties on my head. Like, ten times. Wasn’t that bad.

Or is that too much information?

SouthernDem on October 29, 2007 at 9:02 PM

Can’t tell without the photos…

sweeper on October 29, 2007 at 9:20 PM

I wouldn’t call that a realistic exercise. He knew all along that it would only go so far. He wasn’t in danger at any time.

Tennessee Dave on October 29, 2007 at 9:23 PM

Waterboarding is not torture. Saddam would feed victim’s babies to wild dogs and have his goons rip off people’s flesh with wire. The rape rooms are torture. Harsh interrogation tactics do not torture make.

George Orwell once said that British soldiers in general stand up to torture. The average liberal can go about three seconds before surrendering in a demonstration where they are in no real danger.

Hey, I tried something similar! I put a pair of my wife’s panties on my head. Like, ten times. Wasn’t that bad.

Torture is routine in all MidEast countries, the controversy on the issue stems from the perceived sexual perversity of the US and infidel countries generally.

aengus on October 29, 2007 at 9:38 PM

Too funny.

I read a good article on waterboarding today. It was most definitely AGAINST waterboarding and it didnt change my position but I thought it was educational anyway. The man who wrote it claims to be a former Master Instructor and Chief of Training at the US Navy Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape School (SERE) in San Diego, California

http://smallwarsjournal.com/blog/2007/10/waterboarding-is-torture-perio/

Dash on October 29, 2007 at 9:42 PM

Do the words “Don’t Waterboard Me, Bro!” come to mind for anyone?

Ryan Gandy on October 29, 2007 at 9:45 PM

Phase one – reminder of drowning. Phase two – another reminder of drowning. Phase three – manipulation of the fear established in the above.

This technique, however, is mostly psychological. Other techniques probably exist, ones that exploit phobias and natural involuntary responses.

When my leg falls asleep, I panic, imagining that my limb will die and fall off. Stress positions that cut circulation or the use of drugs can impose similar irrational fears.

Is it torture to remind one of their humanity, and vulnerability? Is it torture to assault one’s arrogance and ego? That is – a dose of reality? If so then mere imprisonment is torture.

Torture is the actual cutting off of a person’s limb. Torture is the actual drowning of a person, and bringing them back to life. Torture might be the ripping out of fingernails, though they will grow back.

Agrippa2k on October 29, 2007 at 9:47 PM

Another perspective, by someone who actually knows what he’s talking about.

Wasn’t too long ago that this country considered waterboarding a war crime, and was trying people for having performed it on Americans.

Mark Jaquith on October 29, 2007 at 9:52 PM

Is what Iran’s regime does to gays, Jews and feminists really that bad? To investigate I’ve got two liberals who support Iran and I’m proceeding to stone them, let’s see how they like it…………………….oy

Defector01 on October 29, 2007 at 10:34 PM

Soldiers and Marines go through this just to see what’s like. It ain’t torture. Pullin’ somebody’s fingernails out is torture, panties on the head is not torture (unless their Rosie’s), being dipped into a bathtub full of acid IS torture. Having a dog bark at you is not torture, being forced to listen to a Hillary speech is.

Tony737 on October 29, 2007 at 10:42 PM

Next it will spread to frat boys as the new initiation

If DU weenies can take it, America’s college Frat bledges can take it…………

Janos Hunyadi on October 29, 2007 at 10:43 PM

….and so can Fraternity PLEDGES

bledges optional

Janos Hunyadi on October 29, 2007 at 10:44 PM

Based on Jummy’s link I am starting to wonder if they are spoofers…

These people consider other people calling them names as torture. I don’t believe them.

SouthernGent on October 29, 2007 at 8:50 PM

Almost right….These people consider other people .responding to their name calling is equal to torture.

Topsecretk9 on October 29, 2007 at 11:02 PM

I’m suprised they figured out that the board wasn’t made of water.

Future recipients of the Darwin Award in the offing.

profitsbeard on October 29, 2007 at 11:03 PM

SouthernDem on October 29, 2007 at 9:02 PM

Um– that was hilarious. In a most glorious way.

Topsecretk9 on October 29, 2007 at 11:06 PM

These people think being gently escorted out of a protest is torture.
.
I wonder how many seconds it would take for these fools to change their opinion if our enemy (who is clearly going to treat us with more respect if we don’t torture) had one of their loved ones captive?

abinitioadinfinitum on October 29, 2007 at 11:18 PM

And apparently the wonder twin boys experiment is to reveal to the world that water-boarding isn’t tortuous, it’s a fricken’ pain in an a-hole terrorist’s butt. It’s just battle of the wills and no actual ‘torture” is involved. It’s terror a-hole saying I’m tired of it.

I really dislike Sullivan for exploiting this issue with NO experience and evidence it’s effective in hand ALL because Bush went against gay marriage.

Topsecretk9 on October 29, 2007 at 11:20 PM

Man, that thread is awesome!

17 year old kid “waterboards” himself and his brother. According to him, “CIA officers who subject themselves to it only last an average of 14 seconds. And those are people who are trained to withstand different types of torture.”

This kid went multiple times and once lasted 20 seconds! He must be, like, a Super Tough Guy! Like, 50% tougher than those CIA wimps!

Ah, to be young again.

MikeZero on October 29, 2007 at 11:25 PM

These people think being gently escorted out of a protest is torture.

rememebr

fake hurt Taz boy at a Kerry speech = Bush police state

liberal TV host DEMANDING guards “kick ass” on goofy troother while Chris Matthews giggles and giggles in background = tough, good response.

Topsecretk9 on October 29, 2007 at 11:32 PM

No, waterboarding IS Torture.

NPP on October 29, 2007 at 11:42 PM

Afterwards,
they all got together with the local Girlscouts and Brownie troops and played
‘Light as a feather, stiff as a board’

abinitioadinfinitum on October 30, 2007 at 12:16 AM

Or is that too much information?

SouthernDem on October 29, 2007 at 9:02 PM

Try Hillary’s and then come back and brag!

;-)

csdeven on October 30, 2007 at 12:18 AM

Hey, you want torture? They keep these guys locked up, in a room they don’t have the key to and can’t leave…

Now that’s torture. Forget some of McCain’s items:

lengthy sleep deprivation, the use of painful stress positions, removal of clothing, exposure to extremely uncomfortable cell temperatures

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/forumy/2005/12/mccain-amendment-shifting-us-policy-on.php

I mean, sleep deprivation, removal of clothing (against your will I presume), exposure to extreme temperatures; that was just college (don’t drink so much you pass out outside in November in Kansas… and if you slept during finals week, you didn’t have enough coffee).

But if they had locked me in my room, I’d have been screaming bloody murder… that’d be real torture. Much worse than the rest.

Oh, we do that to prisoners now? Damn, I guess we’ll have to let them go. We should probably apologize too.

I’d let you waterboard me 3-4 times rather than being locked in a room for 3 days. Guess I’m a masochist or something. Who knew?

gekkobear on October 30, 2007 at 12:40 AM

No, waterboarding IS Torture.

When did we become so wussified? What are the long term physical effects of waterboarding? Oh yeah, NOTHING! Not only is it NOT torture it’s actually kind of a mild technique of interrogation.

Capitalist Infidel on October 30, 2007 at 12:41 AM

exposure to extreme temperatures; that was just college (don’t drink so much you pass out outside in November in Kansas…

Hell, in college back in Chicago the heat didn’t work in our dorm for half the winter. I guess I was being tortured by the left wing fanatics that run the college.

Capitalist Infidel on October 30, 2007 at 12:44 AM

So what if water boarding is torture? We are dealing with sociopaths who whose only concern is for themselves. The only way to reach them is by working that which is most important to them. Themselves.

NPP on October 29, 2007 at 11:42 PM

And the thought that a terrorist scum bag is equal to a innocent Cambodian school teacher in order to debunk torture is BS. The terrorist HAS information and the school teacher does not. His implication that the US government is equal to the Khmer Rouge is more tripe.

csdeven on October 30, 2007 at 1:01 AM

This is simply definitional. On the left, torture=unpleasant. On the right, torture=(just short of death by the most excruciating means possible). I believe the real answer is more on the right. Waterboarding is merely very unpleasant.

And I should know…I have severe asthma, and an attack is like being suffocated…not quite torture, as (other than death) I can imagine worse. Much worse.

The real argument is that liberals feel that the whole planet is bequeathed with the right to do as they please, and we are not to make judgments, especially if their actions are against Americans. Non-uniformed combatants, hiding behind women and children, caught with weapons during a gun battle, should be read their Miranda rights, have the right to an attorney, a jury trial in Oshkosh, should have the names, addresses, and travel itineraries of their accusers and witnesses, etc. In other words, the world population are honorary citizens of the US. Our sovereignty be damned.

stonemeister on October 30, 2007 at 1:56 AM

How about this compromise? No waterboarding – just send each prisoner to Navy SEAL Hell Week. We have our own volunteer servicemen endure it.

Even Demi Moore survived it.

fred5678 on October 30, 2007 at 2:45 AM

Did anyone catch the article on Powerline linked to yesterday by Instapundit?

http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives2/2007/10/018872.php

The writer takes the view of John McCain and makes a compelling case and insists that it is controlled drowning.

Nyog_of_the_Bog on October 30, 2007 at 7:49 AM

csdeven on October 30, 2007 at 12:18 AM

Dude, you just made me choke on my cheerios (in a gagging way).

SouthernDem on October 30, 2007 at 8:21 AM

“[I]f it isn’t torture, it can’t be that bad, right?”

Actually, the mindset of the left seems more like if it is bad, then it must be torture.

BohicaTwentyTwo on October 30, 2007 at 8:35 AM

Dude, you just made me choke on my cheerios (in a gagging way).

SouthernDem on October 30, 2007 at 8:21 AM

hahaha I wretched as I wrote it too.

csdeven on October 30, 2007 at 9:00 AM

If it is torture, you probably wouldn’t be so willing to have it done to you.

Exactly.

Out of curiosity, I might be convinced into seeing what waterboarding is like. I can never be convinced though to see what it’s like to have my fingernails ripped from me.

Esthier on October 30, 2007 at 9:41 AM

How about the people shredder Saddam enjoyed using on HIS OWN people?

Is that torture?

Mommynator on October 30, 2007 at 11:28 AM

So what if water boarding is torture? We are dealing with sociopaths who whose only concern is for themselves.

[...]

And the thought that a terrorist scum bag is equal to a innocent Cambodian school teacher in order to debunk torture is BS. The terrorist HAS information and the school teacher does not.

The only problem with that is that you are taking their definition of “terrorist scum bag[s]” on faith. You’re assuming them to be guilty, even though their lack of charge and lack of trial tends to suggest that their guilt is far from provable. The U.S. government holds that it has the right to detain American citizens (or citizens of other countries) either from American soil or foreign soil, hold them indefinitely without charge, and subject them to torture (or, at least borderline torture), either at their hands or at the hands of foreign agents (and the foreign agents actually do torture people — they go way beyond waterboarding). It’d certainly be an easier issue to deal with if they were all guilty. But they’re not, and you can’t get around that. So play the hand that was dealt.

Mark Jaquith on October 30, 2007 at 2:05 PM

When did we become so wussified? What are the long term physical effects of waterboarding? Oh yeah, NOTHING! Not only is it NOT torture it’s actually kind of a mild technique of interrogation.

And you’re speaking from experience I assume? Didn’t think so. The simple fact is that US support of this technique makes it free game to use against US soldiers in every future conflict. As someone who spent 16 years in the military, I think that’s a bad thing. So when this is used against my brothers and sisters who remain in the service, I expect you’ll heartily endorse it as both a legal and effective technique, right?

NPP on October 30, 2007 at 5:00 PM