Silky promises to heal the sick, end the war and walk on water
posted at 9:52 am on October 29, 2007 by Bryan
Well, to be accurate, he promised to heal the sick when he was John Kerry’s VP nominee. He already thinks he walks on water. As for the rest:
Like other Democrats, Edwards named his top three priorities as ending the war in Iraq, enacting universal health care and overhauling the American energy system. “Those are three things instantly I would do,” he said.
By “ending the war in Iraq,” he actually means pulling out all the troops, but leaving behind a “strike force” and enough troops to protect the embassy. That won’t end the war, it’ll just leave enough space for al Qaeda to reconstitute, for the militias to resume their sectarian cleansing and for the Iranians to move in. And it’ll leave a half-trained Iraqi military and a tottering Iraqi government to deal with all of that.
As for “overhauling the American energy system,” does that mean more domestic oil drilling? More refineries? Nuclear power? No, just biofuels, wind, solar and energy demagoguery along with mandates from Washington.
As for health policy? More dictates from Washington. More command and control from Washington (he’ll require people to buy insurance, for one thing). Less free market influence and solutions.
Color me unimpressed.
Blowback
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Thankfully he has zero percent of enacting anything!
Ordinary1 on October 29, 2007 at 9:54 AM
Edwards may someday realize that he has no business running for President. He should cut his losses and take care of his wife during her illness.
Doug on October 29, 2007 at 9:57 AM
But can he core a apple?
JammieWearingFool on October 29, 2007 at 9:58 AM
The man suffers from delusions of adequacy.
Merovign on October 29, 2007 at 10:03 AM
No, no, no. We need to keep Silky Pony at the National level. What if he decides that he can’t win a national office? He might try to run for Governor of North Carolina or run against Sen. Libby Dole and get a Senate seat back. Most voters in North Carolina are pretty stupid and will almost always go for the “straight ticket” option.
North Carolina — America’s only Banana Republic.
Wuptdo on October 29, 2007 at 10:05 AM
He’s DREAMY!!!
robblefarian on October 29, 2007 at 10:05 AM
Instantly!? Lol! It’s funny because the far left (his base) is just dumb enough to buy “instantly”, when he’s only saying it to ensure he gets there votes, because he’s desperate.
RightWinged on October 29, 2007 at 10:12 AM
John Edwards? He’s still around?
yo on October 29, 2007 at 10:16 AM
Edwards is the most sanctimonious, arrogant guy around. He makes me throw up a little in my mouth…
pullingmyhairout on October 29, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Johnny reminds me of an old joke.
In front of the Pearly gates is a crowd of people, out walks Saint Peter and he says loudly, all of you men who were mens men stand over here to the right, all you men who were hen pecked men you stand over here to the left.
All of the men except one moved over to the left, just one stood on the mens men side, Saint Peter walks over to him and asks aren’t you lonely over here wouldn’t you like to be over there with your friends?
The man leans over to Saint Peter very close and whispers, my wife told me to stand over here.
Speakup on October 29, 2007 at 10:38 AM
You sure you don’t mean “pass water”?
Dr. Charles G. Waugh on October 29, 2007 at 10:38 AM
Don’t forget universal pre-K and college for everything. The best part about the deal is that it will be “free” to everyone.
Free in the sense that my wife has a “free” credit card.
sweeper on October 29, 2007 at 10:40 AM
hahaha. Helloooooooo, ball.
Mallard T. Drake on October 29, 2007 at 10:45 AM
I dub thee Princess of LaLa Land.
fogw on October 29, 2007 at 10:59 AM
I’ve always wondered. Does this guy wear white lipstick?
Labamigo on October 29, 2007 at 11:23 AM
Just as in Hill’s and Obama’s case, when you get down to the meat and potatoes their message is downright depressing. Horrifyingly unrealistic and filled with inacuracies and lies. They’re just perfect for the Democrat Party.
Griz on October 29, 2007 at 11:29 AM
He is the
Anti-ChristAnti-Obama…Tim Burton on October 29, 2007 at 12:12 PM
Just more of the usual jackassery from this lightest of lightweights. Or is that Obama? It’s hard to keep track.
ReubenJCogburn on October 29, 2007 at 12:19 PM
Yes, to be fair, this year he’s just promising to put the sick in queue at the regional socialized health care facility.
km on October 29, 2007 at 12:21 PM
Coming to a polling booth near you,
John Edwards and the Multi-Color Nanny-State.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll loose your wallet.
Doesn’t this perpetuate and exacerbate the problem?
Kini on October 29, 2007 at 12:29 PM
I’m still amazed this incredible simulation of a human being is actually running for president, what, nobody else wanted the job!
The best summation of the silky pony:
John has a tatoo
it’s a unicorn
it’s on his butt
it washes off!
Dadzilla on October 29, 2007 at 12:34 PM
Iraq – pulling all troops and leaving a “strike force” – in other words, let the genocide begin;
Overhauling the energy system – taxes, taxes, and more taxes. Carbon footprints will determine your global warming tax;
Healthcare – who is going to pay for this, Pony?
Rick on October 29, 2007 at 1:00 PM
Hmmm…where to begin?
Given the obvious — that this douchebag couldn’t get elected President of his country club’s membership committee — I wonder what it is, exactly, that he is running for?
Is this just a present for his moonbat wife, to energize her in her fight against illness? Rich-guy boredom? Trying to impress the kids that he’s not just a scumbag personal injury lawyer? Maybe he lost a bet with his college frat buddies?
Jaibones on October 29, 2007 at 1:04 PM
Hey, Bryan and Allah, we haven’t had an Edwards haiku thread in a while/ever. That might be fun…
Jaibones on October 29, 2007 at 1:05 PM
What meds is this guy on? “Instantly?” Pretty neat trick. Talk is cheap, but so far, I’ve not heard him reveal how he intends to do any of this instantly. We’re all just a bunch of goofuuses waiting for the savior of our country to pull down what’s left of – never mind, that’s Billary’s schtick.
24K lady on October 29, 2007 at 1:15 PM
What? Did Silky send his wife out to say this?
Let’s see… he promises immediate surrender, no domestic energy, no money left in taxpayer pockets, and a Prez who defends the country with nice hair!!
What a great way to spend the ensuing depression while we’re waiting for World War 3.
landlines on October 29, 2007 at 1:36 PM
Don’t forget “Raise the Dead” (as in trying to revive is dieing campaign).
CloneTrooper on October 29, 2007 at 1:47 PM
Harumph!
But anybody can “change water into wine” — with the addition of yeast and sugar.
georgej on October 29, 2007 at 2:48 PM
Climb down off the cross silky, the dems already have a messiah.
csdeven on October 29, 2007 at 3:26 PM
John Edwards’ campaign
so much rank hypocrisy
so little ethics
Jaibones on October 29, 2007 at 3:37 PM
Of course, Silky always has his former stalking horse (namely John F-for-Foxtrot Uniform Kerry)’s standard response to fall back on when his specifics don’t measure up to his claims.
(The italics are necessary to replicate his really annoying way of talking.)
Maybe that’s his secret weapon. He may believe that if he annoys us long enough, we’ll put him in the Oval Office in the hope that he’ll finally shut up.
Not that it’s worked with any other “progressive” in that position. Ever.
cheers
eon
eon on October 29, 2007 at 4:40 PM
This message is for “Wuptdo”:
You say that most voters in North Carolina are “stupid.” Well, you prove that you are the one lacking intelligence with that post. I’m going to assume that know very few, if any people from North Carolina. You have probably never even been to North Carolina.
Don’t be so stupid, stupid.
sandman on October 29, 2007 at 7:03 PM