Hot Air » Blog Archive » Video: “Zombies in Plain English”

Video: “Zombies in Plain English”

posted at 9:00 am on October 26, 2007 by Allahpundit
Share on Facebook | regular view

I’m not a zombie purist. You like your zombies sprinting at top speed instead of doin’ the Romero lurch, I’ll still call you brother. But can we all agree, please, that this “zombies eat brains” meme must be laid to rest? No serious zombie movie restricts the zombie diet to brains; Romero’s movies always show them dining on flesh (usually limbs) and no one who’s seen Dawn of the Dead will forget the evisceration of the biker at the end. The only zombie movie I know of where they’ve got a special craving for the noggin is Return of the Living Dead, which was cute but certainly isn’t enshrined in the zombie pantheon.

They’re meat-eaters, people. Let’s afford them the dignity of recognizing that.

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Comment pages:

Heh. My wife and I are going to a Halloween thing this weekend as Undead Raggedy Ann and Andy.

flipflop on October 26, 2007 at 9:05 AM

I like toitles.

robblefarian on October 26, 2007 at 9:10 AM

I talked to one at ATT this morning trying to change up my phone service. How do you neutralize one over the phone?

Limerick on October 26, 2007 at 9:19 AM

They’re meat-eaters, people. Let’s afford them the dignity of recognizing that.

Well, right before bashing their skulls in with a crowbar that is.

Slublog on October 26, 2007 at 9:26 AM

Identifying a zombie:

Unnatural mouth position and dark eyes, the shoulders will be off kilter, arms reaching and grabbing, legs limpy, skin pale ….. this is a zombie.

fogw on October 26, 2007 at 9:27 AM

Let’s make one thing clear. Zombies are easily escaped. They shamble. They don’t run.

Now DEADITES are a nother matter entirely.

otcconan on October 26, 2007 at 9:31 AM

Hell no, real zombies go for the brains first.

RW Wacko on October 26, 2007 at 9:33 AM

Hell no, real zombies go for the brains first.

If by “real” you mean PUNK ASS then yes, that statement is true.

Allahpundit on October 26, 2007 at 9:33 AM

Going for the brains doesn’t make sense. All a zombie has to work with are human fingers and teeth – they can’t chew their way through a skull.

Slublog on October 26, 2007 at 9:40 AM

Hey…everyone knows zombies eat brains. I saw it on The Simpsons, so it must be true.

flipflop on October 26, 2007 at 9:41 AM

If by “real” you mean PUNK ASS then yes, that statement is true.

Allahpundit on October 26, 2007 at 9:33 AM

I started to type something, but I couldn’t stop laughing dammit!

Return of the Living Dead, man, that is gold-standard in my book.

RW Wacko on October 26, 2007 at 9:48 AM

If by “real” you mean PUNK ASS then yes, that statement is true.

Allahpundit on October 26, 2007 at 9:33 AM

Early contender for comment of the day right there!

nailinmyeye on October 26, 2007 at 9:53 AM

I can’t email this to AP from work, but this is so disturbing that I had to share it.

Che is dead, but his evil spirit still walks among us.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21476982/

Pulchritudinous Patriot on October 26, 2007 at 10:00 AM

Cute. My fiancee will be salivating over this vid when I get home tonight.

MadisonConservative on October 26, 2007 at 10:01 AM

Slu is right. Just how in the hell is a corpse with decayed teeth supposed to gnaw through a scalp AND a skull before hitting their dietary mother lode?

crushliberalism on October 26, 2007 at 10:12 AM

I’m cool with whatever, except I have two rules: 1) Zombies don’t run, and 2) Zombies don’t talk. (They can talk a little while they’re in the process of turning, but once they start going after their friends, they sure as hell better dummy up.)

Farmer_Joe on October 26, 2007 at 10:15 AM

Zombies are so great…I grew up playing Dawn of the dead when I was a kid. I took next week off for functions with the kids and I’m going to go on a zombie fest…good and bad.

tomas on October 26, 2007 at 10:18 AM

George W. Bush is WAY ahead of the curve on this one.

DaveS on October 26, 2007 at 10:30 AM

I’m cool with whatever, except I have two rules: 1) Zombies don’t run, and 2) Zombies don’t talk. (They can talk a little while they’re in the process of turning, but once they start going after their friends, they sure as hell better dummy up.)

Farmer_Joe on October 26, 2007 at 10:15 AM

They play video games…I saw it on Shaun of The Dead, so it must be true.

Miss_Anthrope on October 26, 2007 at 11:01 AM

Hi my name is Sherry Katharine Zom – and I’m an omnivore.

inviolet on October 26, 2007 at 11:25 AM

CostCo is a good place for a stronghold, I myself like a Super Walmart. I could holdup in there for months, as long as I had Sarah Polly with me.

GREENTURTLE on October 26, 2007 at 11:47 AM

Bob Hope had it best

GREENTURTLE on October 26, 2007 at 11:50 AM

Beat ‘em or burn ‘em. They go up pretty easy.

Mike Antonucci on October 26, 2007 at 11:59 AM

Babylon Fields, man. Babylon Fields.

Jim Treacher on October 26, 2007 at 12:04 PM

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808585014/video/2981427/20040901/147/2981427-100-wmv-s.6656343-132619,2981427-300-wmv-s.6656392-132619,2981427-56-wmv-s.6656384-132619

shaun trailer – :47 in is my favorite part!

and original zombie fans, don’t hate me for loving the remake of dawn. i thought zach (300 director) did an awesome job with it.

Miss_Anthrope on October 26, 2007 at 12:23 PM

Ghouls are evil grave-robbing flesh eaters. Zombies are speechless undead thralls controlled by an evil supernatural force.

Somewhere in cinema the two got mixed together; undoubtedly by the same auteurs that made the cursed, rotting, inhuman leeches called vampires into ageless, immortal beauties that wish only to see daylight and have a soul.

Republicans: You could get that kind of fantastic PR if you’d just stop telling your kids that only traitors and teh ghey become movie directors.

ScottMcC on October 26, 2007 at 12:40 PM

CostCo is a good place for a stronghold, I myself like a Super Walmart. I could holdup in there for months, as long as I had Sarah Polly with me.

GREENTURTLE on October 26, 2007 at 11:47 AM

Shop smart…shop S-Mart.

James on October 26, 2007 at 12:43 PM

Aside from Algore, Zombies are the only thing I fear.

Both eat your brain and can’t be reasoned with.

Black Adam on October 26, 2007 at 1:50 PM

Oh. My.

Never before have I seen such warmongering. Only in America. Why the prejudice against Zombies? It’s a free country, they can believe whatever they wish. Just because you can’t speak their language doesn’t mean they are idiots. Look what damage this type of talk has done to our national image. You people make me sick! Grow up, become educated and join the zombie revolution!

Grrrr, Arghhhh …

eforhan on October 26, 2007 at 2:09 PM

I won’t argue zombies…but don’t get me started on vampires, dammit.

tickleddragon on October 26, 2007 at 2:43 PM

Black Adam on October 26, 2007 at 1:50 PM

Google ‘zombies for gore.’

James on October 26, 2007 at 2:54 PM

I’ve alway assumed the Brain eating was a type of Zombie conservationism. Maintianing the natural numbers and all that. I respect responsible Zombiedom.

Rob Taylor on October 26, 2007 at 3:14 PM

1. First of all, you need this.

2. Second, it’s true that zombies don’t swim. BUT they can walk on the bottom of the lake or whatever, and they are very patient and WILL reach the other side eventually. I know this because I saw it in one of the more recent zombie flicks. Seeing is believing!

nottakingsides on October 26, 2007 at 3:40 PM

Babylon Fi– that show never made it past the pilot!

ScottMcC on October 26, 2007 at 5:13 PM

Hello.

If you want a good way to practice up for the eventual zombipocolypse, my I suggest picking up the game “Dead Rising” for the Xbox 360? It helps prepare you on how to use your enviroment to fend of the the living dead. I have personally unlocked the ‘zombie genocide’ achievement, so I am ready.