New gold standard in arrogant media jackassery set; Update: “[I]t is up to us to decide how far we will take our quest for the truth”

posted at 9:15 am on October 25, 2007 by Allahpundit

So perfectly does it conform to the worst stereotypes about the media — petulant, arrogant, not so secretly contemptuous of the U.S. military, and sufficiently clueless as to boast about it in public — that I almost believe it’s fake. Almost. The kicker is the part at the end where our hero congratulates himself on his bravado. Remember, this scene takes place in Baghdad, with an American soldier under constant threat of death standing right in front of him:

To my relief, the voice said that, yes, Knight Ridder is one of the country’s biggest newspaper companies, that it owned many of the country’s largest newspapers.

The soldier in front of us explained the situation to his colleague. The voice on the other side suggested that we be let through, that the media office would only instruct him to simply confirm if the pictures on our media badges matched the ones on our shoulders.

When you’ve got nothing to lose, I told my security officer, you do what it takes. He nodded in agreement.

I can’t read that line without hearing Cartman’s voice. But enough; just follow the link. I recommend reading the original post with its original comments, as they reveal why Calvan’s blog might have suddenly but not mysteriously disappeared.

Update: Someone really needs to get the cache of this guy’s blog back online.

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Why do I wish that soldier was Scott Beauchamp ?

William Amos on October 25, 2007 at 9:20 AM

I can’t read that line without hearing Cartman’s voice.

Now I can’t either.

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 9:23 AM

what an idiot .

trailortrash on October 25, 2007 at 9:24 AM

Read the comments. Unanimous in condemnation and frequently hilarious.

The Apologist on October 25, 2007 at 9:25 AM

Although I do hear Cartman’s voice, I picture him in Kyle’s current …predicament.

bbz123 on October 25, 2007 at 9:29 AM

Kyle – you will suck….

Editor on October 25, 2007 at 9:30 AM

His blog’s name is “Gallivant“?

amerpundit on October 25, 2007 at 9:35 AM

“When you’ve got nothing to lose, I told my security officer, you do what it takes.”

The soldiers should have tased him.

Mike Honcho on October 25, 2007 at 9:36 AM

They should strip him of his press credentials and ship his sorry donkey back to liberal land.

Texas Nick 77 on October 25, 2007 at 9:43 AM

How did you guys get to read the comments?

DaveS on October 25, 2007 at 9:52 AM

Oh, nevermind.

DaveS on October 25, 2007 at 9:53 AM

The page with the comments is preserved at the link. Look around for it near the top.

Allahpundit on October 25, 2007 at 9:54 AM

The soldiers should have tased him.

Mike Honcho on October 25, 2007 at 9:36 AM

Didnt the militatry do some experimental crowd control involving using microwaves or some other non lethal device to cause heat (but not burns) ?

William Amos on October 25, 2007 at 9:56 AM

There isn’t a Wikipedia entry for “Bobby Caina Calvan” or “Bobby Calvan”. Somebody needs to make one. I guess that somebody could be me, but I don’t really have time.

dave_lantos on October 25, 2007 at 9:57 AM

From the comments section in the original post:

34. Tailburger said:
October 24th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Dude, you should have just kicked his hillbillie ass. Night Rider is the most awesome show in the history of TV. You could have beat his ass down and then called in K.I.T.T. to throw some Baghdad gravel up on him. Those jarhead dumbasses have no respect for you or the Hoff. At least those Ugandan guys know not to mess with your obvious credentials, or your street cred. With the kind of incompetence that gets into the military nowadays, I’m just glad that Gomer’s buddy on the other end of the radio knew about Night Rider. That show really is bigger than the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times. Next time, tell him that you’re not only taking down names, but you, K.I.T.T. and the Hoff will be also kicking some Marine ass.

That has to be the best commment ever.

thebrokenchair on October 25, 2007 at 10:09 AM

Not one single death in Anbar last week and this waste of skin is complaining about a soldier risking his life to protect him.

My disgust is unquenchable!

csdeven on October 25, 2007 at 10:09 AM

amerpundit on October 25, 2007 at 9:35 AM

Seems fitting for a MSM reporter/douche.

csdeven on October 25, 2007 at 10:09 AM

That doesn’t surprise me, you got a kid serving, right?

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 10:16 AM

thebrokenchair on October 25, 2007 at 10:09 AM

That was a fun one.

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 10:17 AM

That doesn’t surprise me, you got a kid serving, right?
Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 10:16 AM

Yes. I don’t tell him about this stuff, but I doubt he’d care anyway.

csdeven on October 25, 2007 at 10:30 AM

It’s true. I really couldn’t appreciate how absurd and arrogant this man was being until I read a few of the comments.

I’d never heard of Knight Ridder, and it looks like I’m far from alone there.

Esthier on October 25, 2007 at 10:50 AM

csdeven on October 25, 2007 at 10:30 AM

Probably for the best, I figure he’s got a full plate as is.

Be sure to thank him for his for us, eh?

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 11:05 AM

thank him for his service…

Dammit, I have a preview button, I just need to use it once in a while.

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 11:07 AM

That comments thread was truly a thing of beauty. Unanimous smackdown!

Quisp on October 25, 2007 at 11:17 AM

You guys have GOT to read this comment at LGF.

DEPENDS Warning!

RushBaby on October 25, 2007 at 11:25 AM

I read this story last night/early this morning at LGF and the comments at Calvan’s blog are priceless, a must read.
.
When and if Calvan ever grows up he will regret his actions against this solder for his own stupidity instead of his embarrassment for the backlash he is receiving. He should apologies to the solder.

abinitioadinfinitum on October 25, 2007 at 11:49 AM

Allahpundit, Docweasel’s got the original post and all the comments here.

Laura on October 25, 2007 at 12:00 PM

Oh, never mind, you meant the entire blog, not the post.
/Emily Litella

Laura on October 25, 2007 at 12:02 PM

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 11:07 AM

I certainly will. And thank you.

csdeven on October 25, 2007 at 12:03 PM

My kingdom (such as it is) for him trying to pull that in Israel. You try crap like that, you’re lucky not to get shot or thrown in jail.

That ‘journalist’ is in Iraq. What does he expect?? I love the “don’t you know who I am”. I wish the soldier would have said, “Yep, don’t care. Where’s your ID?”

My response is, well, no I don’t know who you are. You’re clearly not as important as your mommy says you are.

mjk on October 25, 2007 at 12:06 PM

I nominate Bobby Calvin for the Pulitzer Prize In Arrogance In Journalism, a very competitive award. It doesn’t exist yet, but it’s high time it did. The Pulitzer Committee could call it The Calvin and make the statuette a little metrosexual eunuch with a head full of hair gel and one hand on his cocked hip.

Or maybe we should award Calvins to deserving journalists to highlight their work.

Tantor on October 25, 2007 at 12:08 PM

WOW. I haven’t teared up this much in ages! Those comments are highlarious!

Miss_Anthrope on October 25, 2007 at 12:12 PM

He said it wouldn’t do. Besides, he asked, what is Knight Ridder?

“I never heard of it,” he said. He probably would have never heard of McClatchy, either.

LORD HELP THE GRAVEDIGGERS!!!

BadgerHawk on October 25, 2007 at 12:22 PM

Holy Cow! Every comment for that post completely castigated him. That blog post, including the comments, was an amazing read.

Troy Rasmussen on October 25, 2007 at 12:23 PM

This one’s better:

43. Mario Tevlicie said:
October 24th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Maybe you will understand the gravity of our situation when an official diplomat of the local hajji tribe is field skinning your gay lover from head to toe and threatening your next. Or, maybe you’ll actually be in the field when a member of the durka durka social club burns a kid alive so that the Dad will take a suicide bomb/car to check point to avoid loosing more children will you get the Drift.

You are a self absorbed lifeless cat turd. If you ever feel a sense of self worth after today, please find a way to kill yourself. You are the lowest of tooth scum.

PRCalDude on October 25, 2007 at 12:27 PM

These comments are fantastic. What’s that award that LGF gives out every year? This guy should be on the short list.

BadgerHawk on October 25, 2007 at 12:28 PM

I see baldilocks commented as well.

Miss_Anthrope on October 25, 2007 at 12:31 PM

36. Hasselhoff said:
October 24th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Just because you have a talking car, that doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk.

lmao.

BadgerHawk on October 25, 2007 at 12:31 PM

I see baldilocks commented as well.

Miss_Anthrope on October 25, 2007 at 12:31 PM

One of the FEW polite comments, IIRC. That’s our lady.

RushBaby on October 25, 2007 at 12:34 PM

This one’s good too:

106. Drew Cloutier said:
October 24th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Dude, I can’t believe how all of these commenters like don’t get it. I’m with you. You were being hassled by The Man and you were like so cool. I hate it when I like go to an airport and those TSA yahoos are all like, “Take your computer out of your bag” and “Take of your shoes off” and sh*t like that. Like, whatz their problem. Its not like I’m Richard effing Reid. Next time that happens to me, I’m like going to go all Bobby Calvan on their asses. I’ll pretend like I’m taking down their names (they’ll sh*t their pants at that just like I bet that solider did). I’ll make a press Knight Ridder pass up on my computer (dude, I wish I had a real one like you) and yell “What the hell good is this if I have to be treated like an effing terrorist.” I’ll tell them that I work for a big corporation where we all drive talking cars and they are just peons who probably didn’t graduate from high school. Man, you’re my hero. All these damn Chimpy McHitlerburton clones pretending like they are protecting us when all they are doing is oppressing us. Ignore all of these commenters and just keeping on being you.

PRCalDude on October 25, 2007 at 12:37 PM

My son is at Balad and butt stroked a reporter who thought he’d walk through the security ground to the front wire….. God I love that kid!
Wished I’d done that when I was in Vietnam… after all, I’m nuts, uneducated and without any morals even with my BS, MA….right Mr. Rall?

MNDavenotPC on October 25, 2007 at 12:44 PM

This is my fave:

106. Drew Cloutier said:
October 24th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Dude, I can’t believe how all of these commenters like don’t get it. I’m with you. You were being hassled by The Man and you were like so cool. I hate it when I like go to an airport and those TSA yahoos are all like, “Take your computer out of your bag” and “Take of your shoes off” and sh*t like that. Like, whatz their problem. Its not like I’m Richard effing Reid. Next time that happens to me, I’m like going to go all Bobby Calvan on their asses. I’ll pretend like I’m taking down their names (they’ll sh*t their pants at that just like I bet that solider did). I’ll make a press Knight Ridder pass up on my computer (dude, I wish I had a real one like you) and yell “What the hell good is this if I have to be treated like an effing terrorist.” I’ll tell them that I work for a big corporation where we all drive talking cars and they are just peons who probably didn’t graduate from high school. Man, you’re my hero. All these damn Chimpy McHitlerburton clones pretending like they are protecting us when all they are doing is oppressing us. Ignore all of these commenters and just keeping on being you.

I bet he doesn’t get the meaning of irony either:

155. J Lewelling said:
October 24th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Wow! This may be the best post I’ve read this year. Nothing else comes close to encapsulating the combination of arrogance and cluelessness that represents journalism today!

Thank you Bobby! You will suffer the ridicule of the world for this incredibly pompous posting. You will never live it down, but it is giving all of us out here a great chuckle!

“Nothing to lose” indeed!

Miss_Anthrope on October 25, 2007 at 12:45 PM

PRCalDude on October 25, 2007 at 12:37 PM

Ha! That was a good one.

Calvan should have just pulled a Ron Burgundy:

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

thebrokenchair on October 25, 2007 at 12:46 PM

PRCalDude on October 25, 2007 at 12:37 PM

You were tapping into my brainwaves, bro…

Miss_Anthrope on October 25, 2007 at 12:46 PM

2 items:

1. Don’t Hassle the Hof.

2. People should be flooding the phone lines of the Sacramento Bee today asking what they plan to do about this piece of journalistic excrement. as i noted in a comment on Calvan’s blog last night, i know several Bee reporters and almost to a person they are relentlessly, reflexsively, glaringly liberal and contemptuous of anything and everything that smacks of the military, George Bush (41 and 43), Ronald Reagan, Pete Wilson and Republicans in general. The ones i know simply have no frame of reference in their haeds that allows them to consider that other people of good faith may find their worldview a bit screwy.

I also suggested, not without some knowledge, that Calvan’s “speaking truth to Green Zone baby-killers” story went over BIG in the Bee’s newsroom. I have NO doubt about that at all.

Laslty, I do not expect the Bee to do anything to censure this monster. In fact, i predict that if it is addressed in any way in the pages of the Bee, it will be from the viewpoint of “progressive reporters who only want to help change the world set upon by knuckle dragging warmongers” like Blackfive, Ace, the Mighty AP, LGF, etc etc etc.

Nothing bad will happen to this guy from a professionjnal/employment standpoint. Quite the opposite. As i said, right now this minute, this witless dolt is a hero at the Bee.

Mike D. on October 25, 2007 at 12:47 PM

Allah:

As of this hour, the cache to Calvan’s blog is available here:

Owah tagoo siam

DubiousD on October 25, 2007 at 12:51 PM

quote me now…

I’m going to say this is a lie…

The American soldier called another soldier on his radio to ask if he had ever heard of “Knight Ridder.”

To my relief, the voice said that, yes, Knight Ridder is one of the country’s biggest newspaper companies, that it owned many of the country’s largest newspapers.

the first thing any red blooded american soldier would do is make a joke over the reference, something to the effect of “is he driving a 1986 black Trans Am?” I think something is fishy, he heard the whole conversation? the guy directly backed him up and mentioned papers they own and how big they are? sounds very fishy…

Kaptain Amerika on October 25, 2007 at 12:58 PM

Ok, so one day this guy’s outside of the green zone doing his little jouralism thing and suddenly finds himself underfire. Nearby are American troops, and equally near but in the opposite direction are Peruvian troops. Which to which group do you wanna bet this petualant little snipe runs for protection? (for that matter make it Ugandan troops vs Pervian. Same result)

mugged on October 25, 2007 at 1:06 PM

Well, I’ll go comment at Ace’s blog with my opinion of this guy… I try to avoid that language here.

I am impressed though. Having posted here, Ace, Fark, etc. I’ve never seen 190 commenters in agreement. That is truly impressive, that he could bring that many people together in agreement on any topic.

gekkobear on October 25, 2007 at 1:23 PM

Do you think he wishes he were Calvin and his security guy was Hobbes and this was all a just a bad dream?

sanclemman on October 25, 2007 at 1:28 PM

Bobby “the decider” Calvan.

forest on October 25, 2007 at 1:29 PM

I copied the text from DubiousD’s link, I have it up here.

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 1:36 PM

Ah, directly from my hometown newspaper, too.

Bob's Kid on October 25, 2007 at 1:43 PM

What a dick.

infidel4life on October 25, 2007 at 1:49 PM

Someone find a cache of this dirtbag yet that has the good stuff?

Bad Candy on October 25, 2007 at 1:52 PM

This is one of my favorite comments:

Glad I’m Not You said:

October 24th, 2007 at 8:24 pm

Bobby,

I’m so glad I’m 42.

When I was young and immature, like you, and I made an ass out of myself it was usually in a room with a Fire Marshal-rated capacity of under 100 people. Even if the place was full and each person told two friends what I did, I was still under the 300 mark of people I needed to avoid for a week. And since memories are short and someone else was bound to make an ass out of themselves in a relatively short amount of time it never really mattered that much. But you, Bobby, have the distinction of making an ass of yourself on the World Wide Web, which is currently accessable by just over 1.2 billion human beings. On top of that, your friends – and apparently rather plentiful enemies – can now copy-cut-paste your idiocy and keep it forever. And ever. And ever.

Bobby, in the year 2065, when you are 80 or so, you will receive an email with this blog post in it. All of it. Each. And. Every. Word.

I’m so glad I’m 42. And not you.

Best of luck with that reporter thing.

Ouch!

Fatal on October 25, 2007 at 2:39 PM

A future introduction in the specially reserved MSM reporter section of hell:

“Rebecca Aguilar? Bobby Calvin. Bobby Calvin? Rebecca Aguilar.”

GoodBoy on October 25, 2007 at 3:20 PM

Calvan should have just pulled a Ron Burgundy:

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

thebrokenchair on October 25, 2007 at 12:46 PM

Bwah!!! Must go home and watch “Anchorman”….

Well done, thebrokenchair, well done. Are you embedded in Iraq somewhere and perchance have tried this line??

;)

mjk on October 25, 2007 at 4:02 PM

I call BS. Nobody — not even one of our arrogant, useless, gutless little douchebag reporters — can be this stupid and worthless.

Nope…no way.

bzzt…

Jaibones on October 25, 2007 at 4:46 PM

What a jerk!

Catie96706 on October 25, 2007 at 4:51 PM

AP,

I have copies of the this post and 197 comments, as well as his post from October 21 (the post which Charles quotes from) that began:

“Jenan understood the story that was already being written in my mind. I was after vivid descriptions that could, if warranted, paint a scene of chaos, anger and grief.”

Unfortunately, the living, breathing stereotype was busy editing while I was copying the files, so I only have those two.. I’ll email you the files..

I’ll email to them to you

Tink on October 25, 2007 at 4:56 PM

Ouch!

Fatal on October 25, 2007 at 2:39 PM

It’s even better – this guy is in his forties; he started college in 1983 and I seriously doubt he’s any kind of child prodigy.

Laura on October 25, 2007 at 5:19 PM

Over at Ace:

Deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that phone, you need me on that phone.

We use words like voicemail, PIN code, caller ID. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the cell-minutes nor the bars to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “press 1 for English,” and went on your way.

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Razr, and text a post.

Either way, I don’t give a d@mn what you think you are entitled to.

Laura on October 25, 2007 at 5:29 PM

What a weenus. This little worm should explain what would happen if some civilian walked into Knight-Ridder HQ and asked to be let in without proper ID.

He should have had a close inspection of a butt-plate.

91Veteran on October 25, 2007 at 10:56 PM

What a dick.

infidel4life on October 25, 2007 at 1:49 PM

Actually he is such a giant ass her doesn’t have dingleberries but dingleapples.

91Veteran on October 25, 2007 at 11:18 PM

her=he

91Veteran on October 25, 2007 at 11:19 PM

What a dick.

infidel4life on October 25, 2007 at 1:49 PM

Unlike me infidel you get right to the “meat” of the matter, but I would like to add this meat stick is not only a dick, me thinks he may also be a “dick-smoker.”

Just sayin…

Liberty or Death on October 25, 2007 at 11:35 PM

I read that Calvan is actually “Steven Freeman” according to one of the commenters on his original blog who apparently outted his identity very subtly. Any word on this…? Anyone…?

Rugged Individual on October 26, 2007 at 10:41 PM

I read that Calvan is actually “Steven Freeman” according to one of the commenters on his original blog who apparently outted his identity very subtly. Any word on this…? Anyone…?

Rugged Individual on October 26, 2007 at 10:41 PM

I read the comment, and believe he/she was mistaking the name from another who commented at the site.

You can easily go to the SacBee and search on Calvan and see his articles.

91Veteran on October 27, 2007 at 1:01 AM