Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris issues presidential endorsement
posted at 11:54 am on October 22, 2007 by Allahpundit
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Newt “Graingrich” was his candidate of choice, but alas, Newt Graingrich isn’t running. As such, the easy call would be for Chuck to back Newt’s own (apparent) candidate of choice.
But Chuck Norris ain’t never done things the easy way, and he’s not about to start now.
Part of our backward culture is reflected in the fact that we measure and value people by what they do, instead of first who they are. As a result, we nominate charisma, cast votes for articulation and repeatedly elect too many paper-thin corrupt politicians. Of course, I want a president who gets things done, but I first want one who has lived a life of integrity, commitment, truthfulness and respect. Mike is that man…
Mike is a compassionate Christian conservative. Though solid in his faith and standing for traditional family values, he’s not an uncaring extremist. He lives what he believes, and respects others’ beliefs even when they disagree with him, committed to a republic that was founded upon the free exercise of religion…
As with the other candidates, Huckabee has, and will continue to have, his hecklers: “He hasn’t raised enough money.” “He’ll never beat Hillary.” “Our society is too prejudice and paranoid to vote for a once Baptist minister.” “He’ll never out-race the top four Republican candidates.”
I was thinking about these types of comments the other day when I recalled another leader in ancient times that didn’t match up in the line up: King David. Seven men were poised and paraded for the position of king, but David was left in the field shepherding because he wasn’t “a frontrunner in the polls.” They overlooked the best because they were too busy judging by outward appearance. But God appointed David king.
He’s got a rundown of Huck’s policy platform at the link, although most planks will be familiar to you by now. Exit cool-fact-about-Chuck-Norris: Chuck Norris doesn’t vote, Chuck Norris tells America how it’s going to be. Alternative possible cool-fact-about-Chuck-Norris: Chuck Norris is saying what a lot of other social cons are starting to think?
Update: From the comments, “It’s a win win situation. Huckabee wins and Chuck Norris lets the country live another 4 years.”
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The good news is that Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer.
The bad news, Chuck Norris doesn’t cry!
TheSitRep on October 22, 2007 at 12:03 PM
With Chuck’s endorsement, Huckabee’s poll numbers will continue to climb out of sheer terror. It’s a win win situation. Huckabee wins and Chuck Norris lets the country live another 4 years.
Weebork on October 22, 2007 at 12:04 PM
Thompson/Huckabee?
Theworldisnotenough on October 22, 2007 at 12:06 PM
Values Voters kick butt.
T J Green on October 22, 2007 at 12:06 PM
YES! Another vote for Huck! Time to abolish the underground economy!
Chuck Norris kicks and punches AND votes with his hands and his feet!
HockeyTemper on October 22, 2007 at 12:10 PM
Would it surprise you if the other candidates started turning up dead from roundhouse kick related injuries?
Verbal Abuse on October 22, 2007 at 12:12 PM
Chuck Norris doesn’t have to punch a ballot. It surrenders in his presence.
Sugar Land on October 22, 2007 at 12:16 PM
All the chads on those ballots hang themselves rather than face Chuck Norris.
James on October 22, 2007 at 12:26 PM
Chuck Norris eats chad for breakfast.
Shy Guy on October 22, 2007 at 12:28 PM
Did you ever wonder why in Chuck’s old movie Silent Rage out of all the people to bring back from the dead with the super serum they brought back the dude who was six foot five, 250lbs and murdered his family with an axe?
GogglesPisano on October 22, 2007 at 12:36 PM
Huck-a-Chuck ?
subbottomfeeder on October 22, 2007 at 12:36 PM
The country, of course.
James on October 22, 2007 at 12:41 PM
Chuck just wants Huck because Huck will forgive the terrorists and criminals, allowing him to hunt them down himself.
Hollowpoint on October 22, 2007 at 12:55 PM
Huck/Norris ‘08!
I like Huck too, he’s a State Gov., not a Sen. and that’s what we need, an executive.
Tony737 on October 22, 2007 at 12:59 PM
I like Chuck Norris, as an actor. But, just like any other actor, musician or the like, he will not sway me at all as to my choice for President. This is too important.
MNDavenotPC on October 22, 2007 at 1:02 PM
Chuck Norris is so tough he doesn’t have to pull your finger. He just gives your finger a dirty look and you fart.
radjah shelduck on October 22, 2007 at 1:03 PM
I would like to see Hilary get a kick out of Chuck.
Maybe a roundhouse to that corporate caboose.
Hening on October 22, 2007 at 1:11 PM
Nugent/Norris 2008!!
Viper1 on October 22, 2007 at 1:14 PM
All these comments sound a lot like the Fred facts I have been reading at frankj’s site. I wonder why Chuck didn’t choose Fred. Maybe the room was only big enough for one of them?
rslancer14 on October 22, 2007 at 1:15 PM
If Chuck were to become Huckabee’s running mate, would Christie Brinkley help manage their campaign?
Ryan Gandy on October 22, 2007 at 1:17 PM
Maybe, but she’d only pull a percentage of her weight.
[/total gym]
James on October 22, 2007 at 1:25 PM
I like Huckabee as well. Alas, I don’t think any of them stand a chance against Shillary. I hope I’m wrong, for the sake of the country.
robblefarian on October 22, 2007 at 1:34 PM
I’ll go with Huck for President and any other candidates (except the Bircheresque crank) for Veep. Then, I nominate Chuck Norris for every other cabinet position. Doubt it?
1. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Defense (no brainer)
2. Chuck Norris for Secretary of State (He’ll diplomatically whip someone’s a$$)
3. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Treasury (Ever try to take a dollar from Chuck Norris’ hand?)
4. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Homeland Security (See number 1. ADT is about to go out of business because of Chuck Norris.)
5. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Health and Human Services (What was that about Chuck Norris’ tears curing cancer?)
6. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (Detroit will look like Disneyland. Chuck Norris puts Jimmy Carter’s Habitat for Humanity to shame.)
7. Chuck Norris for Attorney General (Justice. Norris-style!)
8. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Education (You WILL graduate under his plan……..OR DIE! Teachers’ Unions watch out.)
9. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Energy (When Chuck Norris recharges his brain during sleep, he also powers half of the northeast power grid.)
10. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Labor (No comment.)
11. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Commerce (Soon the euro could be used as toilet paper because it would be that worthless.)
12. Chuck Norris for Secretary of the Interior (His breath will bring the petrified forest back to life.)
13. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Agriculture (He can grow 4 tons of corn/rice/soybeans per season in 1 square yard. Try that Monsanto!)
14. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Transportation (Planes/trains/buses WILL be on time out of fear of Chuck Norris’ wrath.)
15. Chuck Norris for Secretary of Veterans Affairs (Nothing funny here. He routinely visits veterans, our finest and most noble of citizens, in VA hospitals all across our great country………OK. Actually, he is recruiting for the next Task Force Delta.)
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on October 22, 2007 at 1:35 PM
I went to the link above about social cons, and from there to the link about Huckabee’s religious values:
As a social con I well understand Huckabee’s sense of the reality of redemption, as long as he fairly presented his reality to the voters before he was elected governor. That is something a voter hates to learn about after the ballot is cast.
Violent offense means the trust is gone. Not the love, but the trust. I would have been really really mad had he been my governor.
I like Norris a lot and admire his steadfast public expressions of faith. I have become less trusting of faith credentials because of the huge range of definitions of ‘man of faith’
It may be due to Bush, with his ‘good people’ and ‘religion of peace’ mantras that now seem more related to Rove protecting his daughter from ever changing beds at a hotel and to keeping the juices of industry flowing then love and peace.
entagor on October 22, 2007 at 1:45 PM
I agree with a previous comment, that this is yet another Hollywood type dabbling in politics. But then again, it is Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris’s $hit hits the fan, the fan breaks
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose’s bull$hit.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Mallard T. Drake on October 22, 2007 at 1:52 PM
Chuckles is a weak foo-foo boy. The secret is in his (bad) breathe, registered as WMD.
Captain America on October 22, 2007 at 2:22 PM
The only reason why we have an election is because Chuck Norris allows it. Let us give thanks. He gave us freedom and democracy and he can take it away if he so chooses. If America screws up and elects Hillary, he will rescind our freedom until we have learned the error of our ways. Let’s not let that happen. All nations punished by Chuck Norris have seen much bloodshed.
jihadwatcher on October 22, 2007 at 2:23 PM
Game over, man.
Karl on October 22, 2007 at 2:29 PM
Nice :-) lol
Ochlan on October 22, 2007 at 2:50 PM
I saw the following comment posted over at the LIBERTAS blog with respect to ex-Governor Huckabee:
Michael in MI on October 22, 2007 at 3:11 PM
A Thompson/Huckabee platform would rock!
msipes on October 22, 2007 at 3:27 PM
The day to day concerns of the “social cons” - abortion, gay marriage -are not the day to day concerns of most Americans. If they are responsible for 8 years of Hillary/Obama then I will never vote again.
Hilts on October 22, 2007 at 3:42 PM
A Thompson-Hucakabee platform would put the nation to sleep and get creamed in 13 months.
Hilts on October 22, 2007 at 3:43 PM
Chuck Norris invented ass so he would have something to kick.
tommuck on October 22, 2007 at 4:02 PM
Well, I’m glad I know who to vote for now. I like Huckabee and I’m happy to learn he’s who Chuck has chosen for me.
I’d like to say here that I really wish Chuck had let me know this earlier so I wouldn’t have wasted so much time listening to Rudy and Mitt and Fred and the rest of gang.
But I’m scared to say that to Chuck. He might hurt me.
Huckabee in ‘08.
Professor Blather on October 22, 2007 at 4:03 PM
Uhh… you’re suggesting that the candidates on both sides of the isle spend so much time talking about them is that no one cares about these issues?
If a candidate loses because they hold views that a significant number of voters strongly disagree with, it’s absurd to blame the voters for his loss.
Hollowpoint on October 22, 2007 at 4:18 PM
Thank you, Michael for that site. I knew I didn’t like Huckleberry Fink because of his arrogance regarding his weight loss and wishing to control everyone’s eating habits. But to see his stance on immigration and other issues revealed is not surprising. The debate last night ( Sunday) confirmed my disgust of two people for sure, Huckleberry and Ron Paulinus Dooficus.
MNDavenotPC on October 22, 2007 at 4:21 PM
FACT: America is neither a democracy nor a republic. It is a Chucktatorship.
fusionaddict on October 22, 2007 at 5:18 PM
Chuck fires full-house loads from his 870 all day long because he makes the 870 take all the recoil.
Frantic Freddie on October 22, 2007 at 6:38 PM
This whole thread is making me UpChuck…
Romeo13 on October 22, 2007 at 7:22 PM
The eyes of the ranger are on this thread…..
sMack on October 22, 2007 at 7:46 PM
Amen.
As long as Huckster-bee figures out that pro border people are not rascists.
Mojave Mark on October 22, 2007 at 7:55 PM
I’m really sick of this arguement. We had one for the last 8 years. Being the fomer gov’nah of a border state didn’t help his immigration policy. It blew. The rapist in chief we had for the prior 8 years was also a former state ‘executive’. He sucked too (no, I’m not touching any puns there.) His executive experience consisted of running the state of Arkansas into the ground. Executive experience doesn’t make a worthless douchebag presidential material. Huck’s got a trash mouth on immigration and he can stick his nationwide smoking ban where the smoke don’t blow.
austinnelly on October 23, 2007 at 12:56 AM
You’re making the case. It would be 1000 times worse with a candidate that has no executive experience.
csdeven on October 23, 2007 at 7:58 AM
Chuck Norris: One of the few Hollywood types with a brain.
Vaporman87 on October 23, 2007 at 9:26 AM