The ultimate female aphrodisiac: Armpit sweat from nursing mothers?

posted at 9:02 pm on October 17, 2007 by Allahpundit

I thought it was money. Go figure. Offered as a PSA, although I’m not sure how useful it is. Unless you’ve got a friend who’s just had a baby, your options are pretty much limited to hanging out at the gym and wiping down the machines after a new mom has used them. And if you’re willing to do something as creepy as that, you’re beyond the power of any aphrodisiac to help you anyway.

Needless to say, if it does turn out to be true, I predict a dramatic increase in social invitations for new mothers.

Smells associated with breastfeeding are a natural aphrodisiac, heightening sexual desire in other women, a study has found…

Half [of the female subjects] were asked to wipe pads soaked in the sweat [of nursing mothers] across their upper lip every morning and evening for three months.

They were also asked to reapply the pads after showering, exercising and wiping their mouths after eating. The remaining half were given similar pads, soaked in a dummy liquid.

Neither group knew what was on the pads.

By the end of the study, those given the sweat-soaked pads found their desire for their partner had risen by around 42 per cent, while those who were single had more sexual daydreams than usual…

If the key compounds in the sweat, breast milk and baby’s saliva could be identified and bottled, they could be turned into a powerful aphrodisiac for women, the study added.

The theory is that the pheromones send a biological signal to women in the vicinity that the environment is suitable for having children. That activates the mating instinct and things proceed from there. The all-important, unasked, yet looming exit question: How is this going to work on the robots?

Blowback

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Comments

On a totally unrelated side note: AP will be unavailable for blogging for a few hours. He has a gym membership he just remembered needs updating :P

lorien1973 on October 17, 2007 at 9:05 PM

Oooh, I just learned about sweat glands in my class. Milk glands are just a specialized sweat gland, and the type of sweat glands found in the armpits, breasts, and genital area (apocrine) are the ones associated with pheremones. So this study should be a basic ‘no duh’ type of thing.

Knowledge is awesome!

the goddess anna on October 17, 2007 at 9:15 PM

“they could be turned into a powerful aphrodisiac”

“Yeessss….. can it be done?”

“They will join us, or die!”

JohnW on October 17, 2007 at 9:18 PM

We’re commissioning a study. We want you to wipe this mystery liquid on your face every couple of hours and tell us how often you think of sex.

Wow.

askheaves on October 17, 2007 at 9:19 PM

Funny, sweaty females are an aphrodisiac for men too.
But then again , what isn’t?

bbz123 on October 17, 2007 at 9:19 PM

That’s just PIGGY

bloggless on October 17, 2007 at 9:21 PM

wtf? who studies this and better yet who gets grants to study this ****?

Defector01 on October 17, 2007 at 9:21 PM

How is this going to work on the robots?

Baby oil?

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:21 PM

‘Half [of the female subjects] were asked to wipe pads soaked in the sweat [of nursing mothers] across their upper lip every morning and evening for three months.”

That’s pretty darn gross.

JohnW on October 17, 2007 at 9:23 PM

How is this going to work on the robots?

Ode La Pepe Le Pew?

Robots will smell, or can smell, Ode de Oil Can

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:27 PM

By the end of the study, those given the sweat-soaked pads found their desire for their partner had risen by around 42 per cent

WOW! That’s great! What’s 42% of zero?

Weight of Glory on October 17, 2007 at 9:29 PM

It is thought the phenomenon evolved to prevent us unintentionally mating with relatives or seeking a partner who is genetically similar.

Ode de Incest?

This is all we need scientist thinking.
Stick to robots.

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:31 PM

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:27 PM

You pronounce that ‘earl’ and not ‘oil’, right ?

abinitioadinfinitum on October 17, 2007 at 9:32 PM

Robots will smell, or can smell, Ode de Oil Can

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:27 PM

According to Futurama, the mating call of the robot is “bite my shiny metal a&%.”

BKennedy on October 17, 2007 at 9:33 PM

Robots will smell, or can smell, Ode de Earl ~~Oil~~ Can

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:27 PM

Yes, you’re so right abinitioadinfinitum!

Fixed

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:35 PM

According to Futurama, the mating call of the robot is “bite my shiny metal a&%.”

BKennedy on October 17, 2007 at 9:33 PM

How is this going to work on the robots?

Bender would dump me for the Blender.
I get no love {snif}

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 9:38 PM

hmmm. the wife is expecting. Perhaps it’s time to stock up on absorbent materials…

marc@hubsandspokes on October 17, 2007 at 9:40 PM

Sweaty nursing mothers needed for vital scientific study.

How did they get any serious responses to that request?

TexasDan on October 17, 2007 at 9:41 PM

I think the most pressing and important question should really be pondered,how will the pads be applied to the robots,are there any safeguards concerning the robots,
what if,say a rogue robot gets too much pad and goes on a humping spree,for g!ds sake then what,and even worse,what if this rogue robot escapes and goes on a cross county spree,nailing anything that moves!Then what!Haha Hehe.

canopfor on October 17, 2007 at 9:42 PM

The smell is essentially a message that the robots can decode to trigger an increase it the Copulation Drivers. Just install the ChemSensor module and configure it to react to the Sweat-phrodisiac and you’re in business. So to speak. I’m sure you’ll be able to get the Sweat-phrodisiac as an aerosol spray and probably as a candle. Then get the robo-bedroom a-rockin’.

It’s a shame I’ll be too old to enjoy the brave new world of sex-bots all hopped up on artificial sweat. Oh the humanity!

Thomas the Wraith on October 17, 2007 at 9:43 PM

There’s no sweeter smell than female sweat … but after several days of dried up sweat, it’ll knock you out, I know ’cause I was stationed in Europe for three years.

There’s nothing sexier than fresh perspiration on a woman and there’s nothing nastier than a week’s worth of sweat caked on a woman’s armpit.

Tony737 on October 17, 2007 at 9:49 PM

Tony737 on October 17, 2007 at 9:49 PM

OK, You’ve painted a memory for me I was trying like hell to forget. euwww

abinitioadinfinitum on October 17, 2007 at 9:51 PM

The worst part is that in the future AllahPundit won’t be able to get the iSexBot and will have to make do with the generic version that comes free with the two-year contract. Sure, it’ll have all the basic functionality but when it comes to SexBots, who wants to be stuck with just the basics?

Thomas the Wraith on October 17, 2007 at 9:52 PM

The worst part is that in the future AllahPundit won’t be able to get the iSexBot and will have to make do with the generic version

No, the worst part is that I’ll be in my 70s when this crap finally makes it to the market.

Allahpundit on October 17, 2007 at 9:53 PM

Thomas the Wraith on October 17, 2007 at 9:52 PM

He may even have to buy …used!

abinitioadinfinitum on October 17, 2007 at 9:54 PM

Me too AP. If we’re lucky. Our sons and grandsons (lucky SOBs) won’t know how good they’ll have it.

“When I was your age we had to ask girls out to the moving pictures and listen to them talk about their boring lives in the distant hope that we’d make it to 2nd base.”

“What’s second base, grandpa.”

“Shut up and go nail your iSexBot. In-grates.”

Thomas the Wraith on October 17, 2007 at 9:59 PM

WOW! That’s great! What’s 42% of zero?

Weight of Glory on October 17, 2007 at 9:29 PM

LOL. All I can say is I’m glad my breastfeeding years preceded this story or my kid might have been bottle fed.

This pheromones thing is just a plot by Big Perfume to sell more of their product anyway.

Buy Danish on October 17, 2007 at 9:59 PM

No, the worst part is that I’ll be in my 70s when this crap finally makes it to the market.

Allahpundit on October 17, 2007 at 9:53 PM

Yeah, and by that time the only robot you’ll want is one that will stay off your lawn and listen to stories about how you once ran a great site on what the geezers call the internet.

Weight of Glory on October 17, 2007 at 10:01 PM

No, the worst part is that I’ll be in my 70s when this crap finally makes it to the market.

Allahpundit on October 17, 2007 at 9:53 PM

Think Anthony Quinn, it’s never too late

Kini on October 17, 2007 at 10:12 PM

OT: Is anyone watching South Park? Muslim suicide bombers just attacked Imagination Land and exploded a bunch of beloved imaginary characters, complete with Black Hawk Down style explosions and sound. Awesome!

Thomas the Wraith on October 17, 2007 at 10:15 PM

Half [of the female subjects] were asked to wipe pads soaked in the sweat [of nursing mothers] across their upper lip every morning and evening for three months.
They were also asked to reapply the pads after showering, exercising and wiping their mouths after eating.

I’m going to vomit. There’s a difference between being around females while FTXing and this.

While I don’t like the criticize AP for the stories on HA (cause he’s putting the work in and I’m not), I can only ask: why?!? Dear God, why?!

TheEJS on October 17, 2007 at 10:48 PM

I … we … oh, my goodness, Allah. I got nothin’.

Jaibones on October 17, 2007 at 10:59 PM

The robots will pick up a multicast on their Wi-Fi interfaces. We be jammin now.

shaken on October 17, 2007 at 11:29 PM

No, the worst part is that I’ll be in my 70s when this crap finally makes it to the market.

Allahpundit on October 17, 2007 at 9:53 PM

You will still be frisky in your seventies and probably with an expected life span of another 30 years. In my case, I’ll have cashed in my last social security check long before then.

Bradky on October 17, 2007 at 11:52 PM